Free Hand (Irons and Works Book 1)

by E M Lindsey

  “No,” Sam said in a rush, then laughed. “I mean, no offense. You know you’re both hot as hell, but you’re my brothers. No, I…it isn’t either one of you.”

  “Then who cares,” Derek said.

  Sam licked his lips. “Bro code, Derek.”

  Derek frowned. “I…what? Bro code?”

  “You don’t fucking date your friend’s ex,” Sam clarified, and blushed so hard the tips of his ears went pink.

  Derek leaned forward. “Who the fuck has an available ex?”

  Sam shifted, looking uncomfortable. “Well…maybe not ex, necessarily, but it was pretty obvious you liked him and…”

  Derek’s eyes widened. “Wait. Niko?”

  Sam licked his lips, then nodded. “He’s…we’ve gotten together a couple of times, and he co-hosted a wheelchair yoga session at the gym last weekend. He’s also really great with May and I just…I’m sorry. I already told him I’m not in a place where I can date, but I would never do that to you.”

  Derek tried to hold back his laughter, but he couldn’t. He covered his face, his body shaking with it, and when he regained some control, he dragged Sam into a hug before righting him back on the sofa. “Fucker. I’m so fucking in love with Basil, Niko never had a chance. I only went on that one date because Sage begged me to, and it didn’t end well.”

  Sam’s eyes flickered down. “Yeah. He told me. Honestly part of me can’t help but wonder if he’s only interested because he wants to prove he’s not some ableist asshole. I mean shit, it’s not like I have a whole helluva lot to offer.”

  Derek’s jaw tensed. “First of all, he was kind of an ableist asshole, but he’s the kind of guy who could learn to be better. Secondly, you’re a fucking catch, Sam, and if you want to argue, we can take this shit outside and duke it out.”

  Sam laughed, rolling his eyes. “The last time you tried to fight me, I floored your ass.”

  “I had like half a bottle of tequila, that doesn’t fucking count.”

  Sam grinned for a second, but it didn’t last long. “I just mean…I’m…I come with a lot. It’s more than just a chair, and it’s more than just a kid. It’s pain and sometimes it’s me pissing myself and not being able to maintain a fucking erection, and it’s also constant court battles for my girl, and never-ending scrutiny by people who will never see me as an able parent—and sometimes that constant questioning makes me believe it. I can’t saddle someone with that, Der.”

  “A person who loves you for you—all of that shit is just going to be part of what they love about you,” Derek told him fiercely. “Believe me, okay? I didn’t think I’d ever meet anyone who’d be willing to put up with all this fucking mess,” he waved his hand up and down his body. “And Basil and I are still new so who the fuck knows if it’s going to end up too much for him, but right now it isn’t. Right now, he just wants me for exactly who I am, and I’m learning to accept that.”

  Sam worried his bottom lip with his teeth, then sighed. “I get it, because that’s the shit I’d be telling you if you were freaking out about Basil, but it’s…I just…”

  “I get it,” Derek said. “But trust me, if it’s right, it’ll happen. And more than anyone I know, Sam, you deserve it.”

  ***

  Basil was just finishing counting the drawer when the lights flashed. He looked up, irritated that he’d forgotten to lock the door, but his entire body lit up with relief when he saw Derek making his way through the rows of spring flowers they’d set out earlier that day. He was a strange juxtaposition—massive and hard angles and sharp ink in contrast to the soft petals and rounded edges of the flora he was walking through, but it looked right. He looked perfect there.

  Basil was still a little shaken from his experience in New York. Derek had eventually been able to calm down and sort out the paperwork for his father’s estate. The agent who came by didn’t seem entirely surprised by the chaos that greeted him and didn’t make mention of it that Basil could see. The whole process was done in less than an hour, then they went to a kosher deli for lunch, and eventually met Sage back at the hotel.

  The trip was meant to last another two days, but the brothers looked flayed raw and exhausted, so Basil didn’t put up a fight when Sage changed their tickets to that night, and they hopped the red-eye back to Denver. Basil immediately went home with Derek and they curled together under his threadbare blanket and held each other for hours as they slept the day away.

  Then life got on as normal. Derek went back to work, and Basil went back to the shop and they still texted and still got together to work on sign, and Derek kept a close watch on the tattoo, his eyes telling Basil more than his words that the image wasn’t finished.

  Basil couldn’t stop thinking about the cottage the brothers had decided to keep and wondered if Derek had meant it about wanting to go there and spend some time. Basil couldn’t imagine it would be soon—couldn’t imagine Derek being ready for it in the near future, but the thought of spending a week away from everyone and everything made him crave with a fierceness he wasn’t expecting.

  Now, seeing Derek making his way across the shop floor, he wanted it even more. He smiled as Derek laid his hands on the desk and leaned in, and Basil turned his face up for a kiss.

  ‘How was your day?’

  Basil waved the question off. ‘Fine. Boring. Amaranth booked three weddings next month, so I’ll be crazy then.’

  Derek’s shoulders shook with his chuckle. ‘I booked a long-term job. Two grand total and he prepaid.’

  Basil’s eyes went wide. ‘Wow. You happy?’

  Derek shrugged. ‘It’s a long commitment, but it means I can ask you…’ He stopped and licked his lips. ‘I need to…can we spend the night at yours? I want to talk.’

  Basil felt his stomach twist with worry. Logically he knew Derek wouldn’t be asking for a night over, or anything intimate, if he was about to end things, but Basil’s heart was still a little raw and a little afraid. ‘Are we okay?’

  ‘No,’ Derek signed, but there was a playful smile tugging at his lips. ‘We’re perfect, I think.’

  Basil let out a breath, then smacked him on his shoulder. ‘Asshole.’

  ‘I know.’ Derek tugged him in for another kiss. ‘I’m going to get food. Meet you there?’

  Basil nodded, and Derek reached over, curling his hand into the front of Basil’s shirt and pulling him in for a third lingering kiss.

  ‘See you soon,’ he signed, then he went right back out the way he’d come in. Basil followed to lock up, and maybe his numbers weren’t super precise as he hurried through the last of his closing duties, but Amaranth could yell at him for it tomorrow.

  He made the drive back to his place in less than five minutes, and was just getting out of the shower when the lights flickered, letting him know that Derek had come in. Amaranth had gone into Denver with friends and had already told Basil not to expect her back, which meant they had the place to themselves. It was good, unless Derek had been lying about why he wanted to talk, and things were not perfect. Yet, he reminded himself, Derek wore his heart on his sleeve and Basil could see it plain on his face—Derek was in it. This was solid. It was good.

  In Derek’s words, they were perfect.

  He threw on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt, then walked into the living room to find Derek setting a pizza on the table. He looked over his shoulder when Basil entered the room, and his cheeks immediately went pink as he straightened and walked over like he couldn’t help but take Basil into his arms and kiss him. When they broke apart, Derek didn’t let him get far, his eyes roaming over Basil’s face like he just couldn’t get enough.

  Finally, he dragged them to the sofa, but where Derek might have immediately put his feet in Basil’s lap and dug into the food like they’d been doing that together a hundred years, instead he turned to face him.

  ‘I’ve been practicing this,’ he said in perfect ASL. ‘I want to get it right, and I want it to be said in a way you understand without havi
ng to try. My teacher helped.’

  Basil blinked at him, his throat a little hot and a little tight. ‘Okay.’

  Derek nodded, and his chest puffed and deflated with his breath. ‘The night we met, I was a mess. My father had spent an hour telling me how worthless I was, and I didn’t feel like my life was going anywhere. I will always be a mess. Part of me will always be the terrified teenager locked away in a garden shed not sure if he was going to die in there.’

  Basil felt white-hot rage course through him and wished he could drag the old man out of hell just to put him back there himself. But he didn’t say any of that, because he knew what this was costing Derek, and he knew how hard Derek had worked on this.

  ‘The night I was trapped in the bank, I went right back to that dark place. But then you touched my arm and you pulled me out. You bought Kevin and you let me give you a piece of me on your arm that you’ll carry forever. And then, when I was falling apart, you held me together.’ Derek swallowed thickly, his eyes darting away only for a second, and when he looked back, there was fire and purpose in them. ‘I love you,’ he said, signing the full sentence instead of using the three fingered sign for it. ‘I’m falling in love with you, and I’m terrified but I don’t care anymore. If you think it’s too much, I understand, but I need you to know that this is everything.’

  Basil waited several beats after Derek’s hands dropped, just to be sure he was finished. He had wanted to interrupt more than once, wanted to just take his hands and kiss his palms, then slowly undress him and meld their bodies together until he wasn’t sure where one began and the other ended. But he also knew how hard Derek had worked to perfect everything he wanted to say, and he wasn’t about to take a single second of that way from him.

  ‘I love you too,’ he signed. A simple gesture, the I love you sign, and same, signed in the short space between them. Derek’s eyes were fixed hard on his hands, and then looked up into Basil’s eyes and his face erupted into a grin.

  ‘Yeah?’ he mouthed.

  Basil chuckled. ‘Yeah,’ he mouthed right back.

  Then Derek’s hands were on him, pulling at him, searching for skin under his shirt and below the waistband of his bottoms. He had Basil pinned to the sofa in seconds, a knee between his legs gently pushing up against his balls with just enough pressure to feel good. Derek’s mouth barely left his, tongue sliding across his own in wet, hot, gorgeous strokes and Basil’s eyes rolled back in his head with want and desperation.

  Somehow, moving in tandem, they managed to stand and stumble down the hall without losing their grip on each other. Derek had Basil’s shirt off and flung into the corner of the room the moment they got inside, and Basil could feel the vibrations in his feet as Derek kicked the door shut.

  ‘I want you,’ Derek signed.

  Basil nodded frantically, let Derek drag him back toward the bed. They were barely dressed by then, the last of their covered skin separated by loose, thin boxers, Derek still in his socks. His hands were warm and a little rough as they brushed down the center of his chest, his fingers pinching at his nipples, drawing little gasps and moans from Basil’s throat.

  He felt Derek hesitate, and when he opened his eyes and looked down, he saw Derek’s hand hovering just over the place where his dick was growing rock hard and throbbing. His gaze was fixed on Basil’s face, eyes questioning, asking for permission.

  Basil reached between them, gently pulling his hand down until it made contact with his hard cock, and he thrust into it. Derek let out a puff of air, then he shoved his hand into the waistband of Basil’s boxers and took Basil’s cock into the palm of his hand. It was rough, and a little too dry, and also perfect enough Basil wanted to cry—or maybe scream and then come.

  But he wanted more than this, he wanted everything. He wanted to feel Derek on top of him, and inside him, and he wanted to be inside, and he wanted Derek’s mouth on him. He felt his lips forming a word, his throat vibrating with it. “Please.”

  Derek’s entire body jolted at the sound, and then he used both hands to tug Basil’s boxers to his knees, over his ankles, flinging them across the room with purpose. He nosed up his thigh, his moan vibrating against Basil’s skin, and then wet heat enveloped him as Derek swallowed him down in one go.

  “Uhgf,” Basil groaned, his head tipped back. It took everything in him to keep from thrusting as Derek used his tongue to draw a line up the underside of his cock. He pulled back, suckling the head for a minute, eventually drawing away as he licked precome off his bottom lip.

  ‘I want,’ Derek signed, then dragged his hand down the back of Basil’s crooked thigh and palmed the side of his ass.

  Basil nodded frantically, turning on his side to dig out his lube and condoms. They were new, and he saw the slight amusement in Derek’s eyes as his nails tore at the packaging, sending the plastic wrap to the floor. Basil’s breath stuttered in his chest as Derek’s fingers went shiny with the silicone slick, and then his eyes slammed shut at the first press of a finger.

  He expected Derek to take a long time, to torture him, to ignore the desperation of the moment and be sweet—which would have been fine, though it wasn’t what he wanted. He appreciated being wrong in this case when, after only a moment, a second finger joined Derek’s first. Then a third after only a couple of strokes. Basil felt stretched out and sore and on the verge of begging if Derek didn’t get on with it.

  He lifted his leg higher, trying to telegraph his wants, and he let Derek grip the back of his thigh and push his leg higher, resting his calf over his shoulder. His free hand lifted the condom to his mouth, tore the wrapping, then finally pulled his hand out to hold his dick steady so he could roll it on.

  Basil braced himself, willing himself to relax as he felt the first push of Derek’s cock head. He reached for him, gripping him by the hips, refusing to break eye contact because he wanted to drink in every single second of Derek’s blissed-out expression. The way his cheeks were pink, the way his eyes were half-lidded and all pupil. The way his mouth hung partway open like he was trying to catch his breath.

  Basil urged him in further with a tug, and Derek complied with a firm thrust. The lube made the way slick and easy, even if it was impossibly tight, even if he felt impossibly full, and god…god, this was the moment he’d been waiting for. It wasn’t angels singing or the heavens parting with holy light. It didn’t even really feel that good—except that it was Derek and he was joined with him, and that—that—was what he’d needed all this time.

  “Yes,” he felt himself say. “Derek.”

  Derek’s cock throbbed inside him, and his hips stuttered midway through his thrust, and his eyes flew wide open to meet Basil’s. He lifted one hand away from where he was pressing his palm to the bed and he curled his two middle fingers toward his palm, the other three out. ‘I love you.’

  Basil returned the sign, then put one hand on Derek’s shoulder, drawing him down for a kiss, and curled the other around his dick and stroked as Derek’s tongue fucked into his mouth. The sensations from all sides were enough to send him careening over the edge. He felt the orgasm tear out of him along with the moan which Derek caught in his mouth.

  As Basil’s body tensed, his cock spurting between them, he felt Derek’s hips slam against him again, and again, and again. And then he was coming too. Derek slammed his lips down over Basil’s, his hands holding Basil by the hips as he pressed in deep—deeper than anyone had ever been—and filled the condom.

  Basil was only half aware when it was over, still trying to regain his composure as Derek gently pulled out and rolled to the side. He came to fully when he felt a warm, wet cloth brushing over his chest and stomach, and his bleary eyes searched out Derek’s face. He found the love there, still flushed from passion, his eyes soft. It was like every remaining wall between them had crumpled, and though Basil wasn’t foolish enough to think it would be perfect forever, he knew that as long as they worked for it, they would be able to keep it.

  Derek toss
ed the towel to the floor, then let himself curl into Basil, both of them facing each other with a scant few inches for signing space, but it was fine. They didn’t need words—spoken with mouths or hands—to know that this was right. They would always be a bit of a mess, he knew. Derek would likely never heal—not completely—from the cruelty his father had shown him for far too many years. And Basil would never fully trust the world Derek belonged to. But there was a common ground between them, and it was right there in that bed, right there with each other. When one stumbled, the other would reach out a hand, and that was exactly enough.

  Epilogue

  Derek felt something rising in him—a sense of nostalgia he had experienced so few times in his life that it almost frightened him. Almost nothing had changed about the cottage built right on the banks of the lake, down to the pale rocks that lined the driveway, or the sea-foam green his mother had painted the front door.

  It had been maintained over the years, and rented out, he suspected. Yet it was like stepping back in time to his childhood and the brief escape from being terrorized by his angry father at home. He could almost hear his mother’s laughter—such a rare oddity that as a child, he wasn’t sure how to feel about it. He could even see the softness in his father’s eyes, and he remembered thinking once—only once—that maybe the man actually had loved her.

  Derek had stopped wondering a long time ago whether or not his father was capable of real human emotion, but he knew that there had been someone other than a monster once, long before his father had decided what family he wanted to present to the world. Maybe the old man always knew where to hit him that no one else would see, or exactly what to whisper which would make Derek instantly quiet and too terrified to talk back, but maybe not. Maybe it was a carefully cultivated goal and trial and error that he just never understood growing up.

  Whatever it was, it didn’t exist here. Not now. Not with Basil’s hand gently wrapped around his. The noise of their feet on the gravel was enough to overwhelm him, but it was a short walk from the rented car to the front porch, and inside was blissfully quiet. A faint floral scent lingered in the foyer, a long-dead bouquet waiting to be swapped out with a new one, but Derek had dismissed the caretaking staff for the week because he wanted this to be them and only them.