Lamp Unto Her Feet

by Paula Mowery

  “OK.”

  Lila squeezed her hand before letting go.

  Kenzie caught up with the scrub-clad man.

  “I’m Chris. I’m caring for Mr. Wallen right now.”

  Kenzie nodded.

  “I believe Doc told me you are Mr. Wallen’s fiancée.”

  “Yes, I’m Kenzie.”

  “Kenzie, I don’t want you to be alarmed by all of the equipment hooked to your fiancé. We’re taking good care of him, and he settled quickly when we got him up here.”

  “OK.” She took a deep breath and let it out.

  “You can ask me anything. I’ll do my best to answer.” He swept his arm in an arc. “Here we are.”

  No words could have prepared her for how Trevor appeared now. More tubes than last night ran in all directions. Time had painted ugly dark bruises on his face and chest. A pump compressed, and she glanced at Chris.

  “He is on a ventilator. We don’t want him to have to struggle.”

  “But he can’t breathe on his own?”

  “It doesn’t particularly mean that.”

  Kenzie slipped to Trevor’s side and gently stroked a free area of his arm. Her eyes burned and finally succumbed to shedding tears again.

  A shuffling behind her made her turn, looking into the eyes of Trevor’s mother. Kenzie sprinted to her and they fell into each other’s arms.

  ~*~

  Sunday evening Kenzie fidgeted in the chair in the ICU lounge, reading from Nana’s Bible.

  “Kenzie,” Mr. Wallen said in a low voice.

  She met his gaze. “Yes? Do you need something?”

  “You seem restless. Is there a problem?”

  “I have school tomorrow morning. I don’t want to go, but I don’t suppose I have a choice.” Her eyes burned with tears.

  “Oh, dear.” Mrs. Wallen rose and plopped beside her. “We’ll be here.”

  “Of course.” Mr. Wallen’s strong voice reassured. “I’ll text any change and you can call on your breaks.”

  Kenzie lowered her head and stared at the Bible in her hands. “I’m not sure how I’ll be able to focus on teaching, with Trevor...” She swallowed and cleared her throat. “I do love your son. Very much.” She bit her bottom lip to stave off its quivering.

  Mrs. Wallen’s hand covered Kenzie’s. “I know. And that boy is completely smitten with you.”

  Kenzie looked up to find Mrs. Wallen grinning.

  Mr. Wallen chuckled. Kenzie met his gaze and he shook his head. “You have no idea. I’ve never seen him like this.”

  Mrs. Wallen patted Kenzie’s hand. “After the next visitation, you go on home and get ready for tomorrow. We’ll see you tomorrow evening.”

  Kenzie nodded and sighed.

  19

  Kenzie made it through a whole week of teaching during the day and returning to the hospital in the evenings. She had finally talked Trevor’s parents into coming to her apartment for a shower and time away from the hospital at different intervals. Friday evening, she slumped into a chair in the ICU lounge and awaited the next visitation. Trevor’s parents would return after a shower and bring supper later. Dr. Hardin marched up to her.

  She stood.

  “Miss Murrah, right?”

  She nodded.

  “I wanted to let you know that I will be easing off on the sedative. Hopefully, Mr. Wallen will wake up in the next several hours. I’m not sure of the extent of the damage.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I’m not sure about his memory, for example.”

  Kenzie’s stomach knotted. “Memory of what happened or…?”

  “That and his memory in general. His head sustained quite a bit of trauma.” Dr. Hardin smiled. “But we’ll hope for the best.”

  Was there other possible damage? Dr. Hardin seemed to imply the possibility. She sat back down and bowed her head. Trevor would scold her for worrying about something that hadn’t happened. As she raised her head, Lila plopped next to her.

  “Hey. What are you doing here?”

  “Thought I’d stop by and check on you in person. You can fake it over the phone.” She bumped her side into Kenzie’s and grinned.

  Kenzie explained what the doctor had said and admitted fretting for a moment before praying. “This situation is definitely testing my faith and trust in God.”

  “You must be doing a pretty good job.” Lila sat back and crossed her arms.

  “Huh?”

  “One of the nurses here told me how she’s noticed a difference in you. I asked her what she meant, and she said that you aren’t one of those ‘fakey’ Christians she sees often.”

  Kenzie put her hand on her chest. “Me?”

  Lila nodded.

  She recalled Nana’s verse and comment from Acts 4 about people noting that Peter and John had been with Jesus. She jolted and glanced at her watch. “Visitation time. Come with me?”

  She and Lila made their way back to Trevor’s room. Chris was back on duty. “I heard we’re backing off on the sedative.”

  Kenzie nodded. “Dr. Hardin told me.”

  “You might want to start talking to Mr. Wallen. I’ve seen it help bring people out of the fog.”

  Kenzie stepped to Trevor’s side and touched his arm. “Trevor. It’s Kenzie. And Lila’s here too. I love you.” She coughed to suppress sobs.

  Trevor stayed still with no indication he’d heard her. She glanced at Nurse Chris.

  “Miss Murrah, it’s not going to be a quick awakening. He’s been sedated and kept out for a week. He’ll gradually come out of that fog. But the more you talk with him, the more reason he has to come out of it.” Chris returned to his rolling cart and jotted down some notes.

  Lila looped her arm through Kenzie’s arms and around her waist. “Keep that faith, friend.”

  Kenzie looked her friend in the eyes. “Thanks for encouraging me. You’re a good friend.” She turned her attention to Trevor. “I long to hear him say my name. Then I’ll know he is going to be all right.”

  Lila’s arm slid to Kenzie’s shoulders, and she squeezed.

  Trevor’s parents burst into the room.

  “We almost missed visiting hours,” Mrs. Wallen said, out of breath.

  Mr. Wallen stepped to the other side of the hospital bed and gazed at Kenzie. “Chris told us about weaning him off the meds. That’s encouraging.”

  Kenzie tried her best to conjure a smile. Bringing Trevor out of the medically induced coma was encouraging. She only hoped he remembered her when he opened those blue eyes.

  ~*~

  That night she gave in to sleep after her eyes swelled from weeping.

  She eased into Trevor’s hospital room. He sat up, chatting with his parents. Awake at last. Kenzie strolled to the end of his bed and stared at him. His head whipped around and met her gaze. His brow creased. “Can I help you?”

  Her breath caught in her throat, but she pushed out the words. “Trevor, it’s so good to see you awake and talking.” She slipped to the side of his bed.

  His eyes followed her but his forehead crinkled deeper. “I’m sorry, have we met?”

  His words cut her heart like a sharp knife. She swallowed and turned her attention to Trevor’s parents. The two looked at her and shrugged. “Sorry.”

  She couldn’t breath. She turned back to Trevor. “You really don’t remember me?”

  He shook his head. “I take it that I’m supposed to. But, no, I don’t recall ever meeting you.”

  The wound pierced her heart deeper still. Her hands covered her face and she shook her head, crying, “No, no, this can’t be happening.”

  Suddenly she raised straight up in her bed. Sweat ran down her back. She panted. Just a nightmare. But what if he didn’t remember her? Tears burned her cheeks again.

  She hugged a pillow close and wailed, true mourning sobs. “Oh, God, please help me. I’m terrified.”

  Finally she fell asleep again. When she wakened, the clock on her bedside table glowed eleven o’clo
ck. She jumped up and ran for the shower. How could she sleep that long? As she stood under the running water she suddenly realized she had slept that long minus any additional nightmares. A sigh of relief escaped her lips.

  She hurried to the hospital. Trevor’s parents met her at the waiting room door. Time for another visit.

  The attending nurse looked up when they entered. Before either of them could inquire of Trevor’s condition, she offered an update. “Mr. Wallen has been moving some. That’s a good sign. He is starting to come out of it. Keep talking with him.” She slipped from the room.

  Kenzie rushed to Trevor’s side. “Sweetheart, we’re here. Kenzie and your mom and dad. We want you to wake up and talk to us.” She caressed his arm.

  His head turned a bit toward her, and he winced. Kenzie’s pulse picked up. Then, just as quickly as he had moved, he settled again into stillness.

  Every visit, she and the Wallens would talk with Trevor and urge him to open his eyes.

  Now it was late Sunday evening, and Kenzie shuffled from Trevor’s room. Though he was restless, he still had not awakened. She would need to return to work in the morning. She had hoped to be there when Trevor woke up and discover if he remembered her. The nightmare from the night before had replayed often during the day. The memory stole her confidence in Trevor recognizing her. She struggled to erase the dream images from her mind.

  “Kenzie, should he come to, we’ll let you know instantly,” Trevor’s father reassured. “I promise.”

  “I know. I just hoped I would be here.” Her shoulders slumped. “I’ll have my cell phone close.”

  Her car seemed to drive to her apartment automatically. She was glad since her concentration wasn’t on the task at hand. Though it was late, she couldn’t bring herself to climb back into her bed. She dragged a blanket and pillow to the couch. Maybe some meaningless show on the television would ease her into some semblance of a night’s sleep.

  The clock on the wall above the entertainment center taunted her. She seemed to see every hour tick away with a bit of dozing in between.

  She dragged herself to school the next morning after her fitful rest. The latest Bible passage from Romans 8 had emphasized that she was more than a conqueror through Jesus and God’s love. If she could only rest in that like Nana would have encouraged her to do. She didn’t feel much like a conqueror.

  She made it through the morning, and now it was time for the children to take a nap. As she tucked a blanket around Heidy, her phone vibrated in her pocket. She patted the girl’s head and smiled, popped upright, and fished out her phone.

  A text from Mr. Wallen. He woke up and is talking. Praise the Lord. Kenzie’s pulse drummed. How would she ever finish this day, knowing Trevor had awakened?

  “Miss Murrah, are you OK?” her assistant asked.

  “Yes. Trevor woke up.” Her hands shook.

  “I’ll finish here. You go tell the principal. Surely there’s someone who would come help me so you can go.”

  Kenzie was touched by her assistant’s kind offer. “Thank you. I’ll be right back.” She scurried to the office and met Mrs. McCloud in the hallway. “Just the person I was coming to see. I got a text. Trevor is awake.”

  The principal smiled wide. “Praise the Lord.” She snapped a finger. “I’ll get Mrs. Kyle to come down and finish the day. The kids are down for naptime, right?”

  Kenzie nodded. “Yes.”

  “Go get your things together. I’ll send her right down.”

  “I don’t know what to say. Thank you.”

  Mrs. McCloud brushed Kenzie’s shoulder. “You need to be there. Keep me informed.”

  “I will.” Kenzie hustled back to her Pre-K room and packed her satchel. Only moments passed and Mrs. Kyle stepped through the door, shooing Kenzie out the side exit.

  Her insides trembled as she drove to the hospital, struggling to block out the nightmare. Would Trevor remember her?

  “I am more than a conqueror.” She repeated the phrase several times. She practically sprinted to the ICU, but her feet slowed outside Trevor’s room. She eased inside and his eyes immediately met hers. His brow wrinkled. Oh, no. He must be trying to remember me. Her hands tremored, so she clutched them into fists.

  “Trevor,” she barely squeaked out.

  “Why aren’t you at school?”

  The breath she had been holding whooshed out. Her hands flew to her mouth and tears sprang to her eyes. He remembers me. Thank you, God. “My principal let me come when she heard you had wakened.”

  Trevor’s face softened. “I’ll have to thank her for that.” He spread his arms. “Come here.”

  She nearly leapt beside him and fell into his arms. He stroked her hair. “I wanted to be here when you woke up.”

  “You’re here now.” He lifted her head, his hands cupping her cheeks. “It’s so good to see you and hold you.”

  A sob escaped, followed by tears dripping down her cheeks. “I was so afraid.”

  “It’s all good.” He kissed her forehead.

  ~*~

  Trevor’s right arm and shoulder ached, but he wasn’t about to let go of Kenzie. Her body trembled against his chest. He rested his chin on her head and breathed in her scent.

  “They’re actually supposed to move him out of ICU into a regular room.” His father’s voice broke into the moment. Trevor had forgotten that he and his mother were still in the room.

  Kenzie sat up and swiped at tears with the backs of her hands. “Really? That’s wonderful.”

  “Supper,” a lady in bright scrubs announced.

  Kenzie stood and backed away. His arms immediately ached to have her back near. “You all need to eat.”

  “I can get something later,” Kenzie said.

  “What did you eat for lunch?”

  She diverted her eyes from his gaze. “Yogurt.”

  “That’s it?”

  She met his gaze and nodded.

  He rolled his eyes. “Not good enough.”

  “But …”

  He interrupted her. “No ‘but.’ Mom, why don’t the two of you go ahead? You can bring Dad something back.” He glanced at his dad. “Is that OK?”

  “Perfect.” Dad nodded emphatically.

  After finally convincing Kenzie and his mother to go to the cafeteria, he turned to his father. “Have you spoken to the captain? Do you know what happened?”

  “Son, what do you remember?” Dad crossed his arms over his chest.

  “I was called to a house. The neighbor had filed a noise complaint against it. I knocked on the door and it exploded in my face and then that’s it. That’s all I can remember.” Nothing but a fog filled his mind after the explosion.

  “That’s pretty much the story I got. A high-powered weapon shot through the door, splintering it and blowing you into the yard. The captain received a tip that it was more than a noise disturbance, and they sent back-up but not in time to save you from this.” His father waved a hand, indicating his injuries. “It was the dealer you’ve been after. Caught the shooter and positively identified him as your drug dealer.”

  “Thank God.”

  “Yeah, well, add the charges of what he did to you with his drug charges and he’ll be in for a good while.”

  “Dad, I’m glad you and Mom were here with Kenzie.”

  “Son, she’s precious. We love her even more. She has been by your side every moment until she needed to go to work. I honestly thought I wouldn’t be able to make her go and try to get some sleep.” He grinned. “Now, eat up. We have to get you better and out of that bed.”

  ~*~

  Trevor was restless and more than ready to be done with this hospital stay. Dr. Hardin informed him he was headed for a few weeks of rehab for his shoulder. They would discuss returning to work but not until after the therapy.

  He had been cleared to get up and walk for short periods of time. At first he protested at being cleared for only short distances but discovered his body would tire more rapidly than
he expected.

  Kenzie bounded into the room on Friday evening loaded with a large bag and a medium-sized cooler.

  “Good grief. Let me help you.” His dad jumped up from the chair by Trevor’s bed.

  “Thanks.” Kenzie breathed in and exhaled. “Whew.”

  Trevor pushed to a more upright position and eyed her parcels. “What’s all this?”

  She met his gaze and winked. “Chicken. And yes, I got the sauce you like.”

  As Kenzie passed out the meals to everyone, Trevor admired her. Still, he hadn’t pinned her to a date for the wedding. “So, how was life in the Pre-K today?”

  “Wild as always.” Kenzie shook her head. “But I did have one interesting thing happen.” She pulled her legs up into the chair. “Did I tell you about the latest Nana verse?”

  “I don’t think so.”

  “It was from 1 Corinthians 9 and talked about being all things to everyone that I might save some. This is Paul speaking, of course. I kept thinking, how in the world will this apply to me? Well, this teacher, Mr. Cox stopped by my room to thank me. I was like, what? He said that he went forward at church last Sunday. I was still confused, though I congratulated him. He said my witness at school influenced him greatly. I was in shock.” Her eyes widened.

  “I’m not surprised.”

  She smiled and returned to eating. Trevor missed the sound of her voice instantly.

  “You know we’ll have to decide on a date for the wedding. We’ll need counseling for several weeks with the pastor beforehand.”

  Kenzie visibly stiffened.

  What was that all about? Had she changed her mind? He would have to discuss her reaction when they were alone.

  His father patted his stomach. “Chicken, the good ol’ Baptist bird.”

  They all chuckled.

  Trevor swung his legs over the side of the bed and reached his hand toward Kenzie. “Take a stroll with me?”

  She took his hand. “OK. Are you sure you’re all right?”

  “I’m stir crazy.”

  She grinned.

  He turned to his parents. “Be right back.”

  They paused at the end of the long hallway and gazed out the large window. “I really am going nuts being shut up in this hospital.” He massaged the back of his neck.