Marriage For One

by Maise, Ella

  “Just for the flowers you brought this morning, you earned free lemon bars for an entire week.”

  He bit into his treat, already halfway done with it, and nodded.

  Forcing myself to look away from him because I had no idea what was wrong with me that suddenly I was having trouble just looking away, I started to put everything in the fridge.

  I came back for the last container. “We can leave in a minute.”

  My right hand was gripping the edge of the island when his fingertip touched my ring finger. I froze.

  “You’re finally wearing your ring,” he murmured, and my eyes closed on their own.

  Is he getting closer?

  I focused on my breathing as he picked up my hand and played with the ring, moving it right to left, right to left, just as he had done on our wedding day. I might have swayed, I might have bit my lip, I might have shivered. I have no recollection of what I did, but I knew I was teetering on the edge of something.

  “I put it on after you left,” I whispered, my hand still in his. Then he gently put it down on the island again.

  “Good.”

  I forced my eyes open but didn’t look up at him. I was still feeling the ghost of his touch on my skin.

  “Ready to leave?”

  I nodded. “Mhmm.” I put the last container away and quietly got ready, my eyes safely away from him.

  However, it didn’t escape my notice that my movements were getting more sluggish by the minute. The adrenaline was leaving my body, and pretty quickly, too.

  As I took one last look at the coffee shop before I locked it down for the night, I felt immense pleasure knowing I’d get to come back the next day and do it all over again.

  Thinking about Jack and the business deal between us, I went down the other road, too, the ex-fiancé road: Joshua Landon. I was a little surprised with myself that I wasn’t thinking of him more. We’d had good days. In the beginning. He had swept me off my feet. He’d been perfect; said everything I didn’t even know I needed him to say, acted as if I was his world and slowly won me over when I wasn’t interested in something serious. After I’d said yes to his proposal things had started to change. He had started to change. If we’d married, if he hadn’t disappeared on me after breaking the engagement over a stupid text, would I have had this? Would he have dropped by every day after work to help me? I didn’t think so. I’d been with Joshua for a whole year and I couldn’t remember a time he’d gone out of his way to help me with something—unless, that is, he wanted something in return. I hadn’t needed his help; I didn’t even remember ever asking for his help. That wasn’t the issue, though. I hadn’t needed Jack’s help either. I hadn’t asked for his help, yet he’d been there anyway, day after day.

  For the first time, I didn’t say a word in the car, didn’t try to engage Jack in small talk as Raymond drove us back to the apartment. He ordered Chinese and I went up to take a quick shower before it was delivered. When the doorbell rang, I was coming down the stairs. By the time he paid and closed the door, I was standing next to him. I took one of the bags and we headed toward the kitchen.

  “You’re quiet tonight. You barely even said anything in the car.” I only realized how hungry I was when the delicious smells coming from the containers had my stomach growling. A little embarrassed, I stepped away from him to put some distance between us and opened the fridge to take out two water bottles.

  “I have a little headache,” I mumbled. The fact that I had a headache wasn’t a lie in itself, but something else was wrong. I had no idea what had happened, but I was feeling even more awkward next to him than I had before that day. Maybe it was the lingering kiss or the multiple hugs or maybe it was the thought of Joshua.

  His eyes cut to mine, but I avoided his gaze as he took down two plates and we started to spoon out a little of everything.

  “Rice?”

  I nodded, and he dumped some on my plate. Then, grabbing both our plates, he walked straight out of the kitchen. “Let’s eat at the table. I’m tired of sitting at the kitchen island alone.”

  Wordlessly, I followed him and stood in the doorway as he stopped next to the dining table. I watched him put down our plates, pull out a chair, and look at me with a raised eyebrow.

  “Will you join me?”

  As a kid who had taken most of her meals in the kitchen, a dining room table always reminded me of one thing.

  Family.

  Which I’d never had.

  I walked toward him and sat down as he pushed my chair forward.

  He sat across from me, reaching for his chopsticks.

  I was staring straight into his deep blues.

  Shaking my head, I got up and just as I was going to walk past him, his hand gently curled around my wrist, his thumb gently sweeping up and down, effectively stopping my forward movement. My words got stuck in my throat and I just stared down at him, at his eyes.

  “Rose.” He spoke softly, as if he was talking to a kid. “Are you sure everything is okay?”

  “I forgot the water.”

  Deeply conscious of the way his presence and his hand on my skin were making me feel, I waited for him to let go of me. It took a few seconds, but when he did, I almost ran to the kitchen.

  Back in my seat, keeping my hands under the table, I rubbed my wrist, trying to get rid of the weird tingles.

  The silence and familiarity calmed me down, and I realized it was normal now, being with him, like this. We were just two strangers who had gotten married for the wrong reasons sitting at a big, ten-person dining table, and it felt normal and good.

  As soon as my plate was cleared, I rose, and Jack pushed up to his feet with me even though he wasn’t done yet.

  “You’re going?” he asked, something that sounded very similar to disappointment in his voice.

  “I…should go to bed. Tomorrow is going to be another long day. I’ve been getting these little headaches recently, so it would be better, I think, if…”

  “I understand.”

  I took my plate and again tried to walk past him, but he touched me again.

  “I’ll take care of it.”

  “I can—”

  “Rose. Go away. Get some rest.”

  I gave him a smile. Exactly when had my name become so…so effective in making me break out into goose bumps?

  I felt the ghost of his touch and the warmth of his fingers on my skin almost up until I fell asleep.

  The number of times Jack Hawthorne smiled: not even a single one.

  Chapter Ten

  Jack

  For two strangers who had met and gotten married roughly a month and a half ago, we had fallen into a routine faster than I’d expected. Day after day, I found myself helping Rose at her coffee shop. Even when I didn’t intend to drop by, or let’s say even when I knew I shouldn’t drop by, I still found myself on her doorstep. I’d lost count of how many times I’d lied and said I had a meeting nearby or found other convenient lies. I don’t think she believed them anymore. Maybe I needed the lies for my own sake.

  By the time her place was ready to open, it had felt like she had destroyed the small barrier I’d tried my best to put up between us. Something had shifted. It was there in the way she looked at me, or sometimes the way she wasn’t looking at me. I wasn’t sure just yet if it was a good change or what it exactly meant, but it was a change nonetheless.

  I woke up earlier than I was used to. After having received another text from Joshua Landon after Rose went to bed, I had some issues sleeping. I sighed and got up, going straight to the gym in the next room. I couldn’t think of any other way to work out my frustrations with myself and the situation. This business deal, Rose, this marriage was the worst decision I’d made in my life because I was losing control and losing it fast. I was doing everything I’d thought I wouldn’t do. Yet it was too late to back out. It’d been too late to back out ever since I’d met her at city hall.

  I hated running, but I ran on that damn treadmill for
over an hour, watching the night sky slowly change color as the sun replaced the moon. When I jumped off, I was still angry and frustrated to the point that I was ready to risk everything and come clean, even though I knew it wasn’t the right time, that it might never be the right time.

  I stopped and listened. As much as I didn’t want to admit it, I’d been doing that ever since I woke up, but so far I hadn’t heard a single noise coming from Rose’s side of the second floor or downstairs. I kept telling myself I wasn’t her chauffeur; if she wanted to walk to work when it was almost dark outside, she damn well could. I had to mind my own damn business. She had gone places without me just fine before we had made this goddamn deal and gotten married.

  Yet my ears were still searching for the telltale signs of her stepping out of her room and rushing down the stairs as she did every morning.

  Taking my shirt off, I walked to the small fridge in the corner and took out a water bottle. Draining it in one go, I threw it on the floor.

  Guilt was a very strong opponent to go to war with, and I couldn’t seem to shake myself out of the funk I was in. When you added ex-fiancés into the mix…

  I started on the weights until I was dripping with sweat.

  What was it with her? Why couldn’t I stay away? What the hell was I going to do?

  When I was done, I went back to my room to take a quick shower. Maybe it’d been a good thing that I hadn’t been able to sleep. If by the time I was dressed, Rose hadn’t gotten up, I was going to have to wake her myself. With a towel wrapped around my hips, I checked the time as soon as I was out. She was late. I got dressed as quickly as I could and headed to her room, cursing myself for worrying the entire time. I was in this marriage for the property. I was in this marriage for the sake of looking like a family man. All I had to do was keep repeating it to myself.

  Still a little worried, I wasn’t exactly quiet as I knocked on her door.

  “Rose? I’m not your goddamn alarm.”

  Provoking her and watching her reactions was probably one of my favorite things in life at the moment.

  No sound. After hesitating for a second or two, I pushed open the door only to see her bed was made and she was already gone. Had she left while I was working out or when I was in the shower? I grabbed my phone from my room and went downstairs. I was tempted to call and ask her if she had made it to work okay, but I thought better of it. I left my phone in the living room and went into the kitchen to make myself a cup of coffee. What I brewed at home tasted just fine. I didn’t need to go to her coffee shop every day just because she was my wife or because I enjoyed looking at her. I made a good enough coffee myself.

  While I was still waiting for my coffee to be ready that I was sure wouldn’t taste anywhere near as good as hers, I heard my phone going off in the living room. By the time I picked it up, it had stopped ringing. It wasn’t a number I recognized so I let it be. Leaving the phone where it was, I headed back to the kitchen, only to turn back midway when the phone started ringing again.

  “Yes?”

  “Jack?”

  “Yes. Who is this?”

  “Jack, it’s me, Rose. I…I’m calling you from…a…someone else’s phone.”

  Not knowing what was going on, I tensed when I heard how her voice trembled.

  “I was just wondering if—Jack, are you there?”

  When she started talking to someone else, I lost my patience.

  “Rose, tell me what’s going on. Where are you?”

  “Oh, you’re there. Okay. Right. I…I just took a little tumble, and—”

  “Are you all right?”

  “Yes. Yes, I’m fine. Well, I wasn’t, but I’m now…Henry?” I heard her address someone else. “Your name is Henry, right? Yes, I—” She let out a long breath. “Henry was out running, and he saw me trip and fall. He was kind enough to help me. My phone flew out of my hand and took a tumble of its own so it’s not working at the moment. I was wondering if you could come and help me to work. Henry offered to wait with me until then. I’d go on my own, but I think—”

  Somewhere in the middle of her ramblings, I had already opened the door and was standing in front of the elevators.

  “Where are you? Tell me your exact location.”

  When she couldn’t even tell me where she was, she asked Henry and related his exact words to me. I hung up on her. Then I put the damn phone back to my ear as if she could still hear me and I could apologize after realizing I’d been rude.

  Out on the street, I considered grabbing a cab, but from what they were telling me, they weren’t anywhere near the road. Before I could waste more time thinking of the best way to get there, I found myself running across the street, ignoring the blaring car horns as I avoided getting hit by oncoming traffic. I entered the park somewhere around 79th and ran as fast as I could in a suit. If Henry had described the place correctly, she was somewhere in between the Ramble and the Boathouse.

  I slowed down to a brisk walk when there was almost fifty feet separating us and watched as Rose lifted her head and looked straight at me. She gingerly got to her feet with the help of the man standing next to her. My eyes ran over her, but I couldn’t see any visible injuries. My heart was pounding from the run, or maybe it was just worry, or what the hell maybe it was just seeing her, but thankfully my brain was still working enough to remember that we were supposed to be husband and wife and we could and should act like a couple around other people.

  “Rose.”

  I went straight for her and before I could try to think of what I could do or what would be appropriate, I found myself rocking back a step when her body hit mine. She was fine, and she was already in my arms. A little out of breath, I didn’t hesitate to wrap my arms around her, squeezing gently since I wasn’t sure where her injuries were. I closed my eyes for a second and let out a long breath. She was fine.

  “What happened?” I asked, addressing the guy next to her, but Rose answered before he could speak, thinking I was talking to her.

  “I probably shouldn’t have called you. I was being stupid, I’m sorry,” she whispered to my shoulder and pulled back. My brows snapped together as I studied her face. If she didn’t think she should have called me, what was she doing jumping into my arms? Reluctantly, I let her go. Her gaze dropped to her hands, so I looked down as well to see her staring at her shattered phone screen. “It works enough that I could find you in my contacts, but it’s not calling. I’m not sure what’s wrong.”

  “It’s broken to pieces, that’s what’s wrong.”

  “Henry thought I should call someone to pick me up.”

  I finally turned to Henry. He was maybe forty or forty-five with white streaks in his hair, wearing black sweatpants and a black zip-up sweatshirt. I extended my hand. “Thank you for helping my wife. Is there anything we can do for you?”

  We shook hands as he gave Rose a once-over. “It’s nothing. I’m just glad I was there to help.” He glanced at his watch. “I need to go, but she took a bad fall so you might want to have someone look—”

  My jaw clenched. “I’ll take care of her. Thank you again.”

  Rose shuffled closer to me. “I have a coffee shop on Madison Avenue, Around the Corner. If you’re ever around, please drop by—I’d like to buy you a cup of coffee as a thank you.”

  “Sure. It’s not safe for you to walk around the park this early in the morning, so be careful in the future.”

  “I will. Again, thank you.”

  Giving us a nod and a quick wave, Henry jogged away toward the west side.

  Rose took a deep breath and sighed. I looked her over from head to toe once again, trying to assess the situation. “I feel fine now, and when Henry insisted I should call someone, I couldn’t protest. I mean, I was going to call Owen, but he probably already started on the baking and I didn’t want to take him from—”

  “Rose, stop talking.” I picked up her hand, the one she was holding her phone with, and she winced. I frowned down at her, gently
picking up the phone so I could hold her hand and look at the damage. The heel of her palm was scraped and there was some blood.

  “Give me your other hand.”

  “It’s fine.”

  My mouth tightened and I kept my hand open, waiting for her. Reluctantly she held up her palm—the same scrapes, more blood.

  “The ring is fine.”

  “Do I look like I care about a fucking ring?” I snapped, too busy turning her hand over and gently pressing on her wrists to see if she was hurting.

  “Nope, you don’t. How did you get here so fast anyway?”

  “I ran.”

  She was quiet for a few seconds as I examined her skin.

  “You ran?”

  I gave her a long look that made her lips twitch which broke my concentration.

  “It’s just a bunch of surface scrapes. It’ll be fine once I wash and clean them, Jack. I’m fine. Really. No need to worry.”

  “I’m not worrying.”

  I ran my thumb across her palm, dislodging a few small stones that were sticking to her skin. She was right—they weren’t so bad that I would consider taking her to the hospital, but I had considered it. There was more dirt on her jeans so I assumed there were more scrapes at unseen places.

  I let go of her hands, my eyes scanning her body again.

  I watched as she held her hands up to her chest, rubbed the center of one, and winced.

  “How did you managed to fall?”

  Shifting her feet, she looked up at me under her lashes. “I was feeling a little dizzy and I fricking tripped on something. I don’t even know what it was, I wasn’t paying attention and then my ankle turned and I fell hard on my knees and hands. Henry helped me up, and I was a little shaky so he made me call someone. I couldn’t think of anyone but you. It’s nothing, I just need a little help walking, that’s all.”

  I couldn’t think of anyone but you.

  That shut me up for a second or two as I stared at her.

  “You’re fine?” I asked with my brows raised. I reached for her hands and gently held them between us. Her palms weren’t dripping with blood, but the scrapes weren’t nothing either. “This isn’t nothing. Who knows what your knees look like.”