Marriage For One

by Maise, Ella

  The first few days we were back from the hospital, she would get dizzy and out of breath just from climbing the stairs. After that, she started to spend most of her time on the couch until I’d get done with work—which I was still playing catch up with—and then I’d carry her upstairs.

  At the end of that first week, we went to the hospital and they cleaned out her nose. There was still blood coming down, but despite that, she was looking better and better every day.

  Toward the end of the second week of her bed rest, she started crying at least once a day. “Jack. I want to go out, please.”

  “Do you even realize how much you’re breaking my heart with all this crying you’ve been doing?”

  She kissed me after that. She kissed me for a long time.

  Georgie and Emma, two of her friends, came to visit and see how she was doing. I’d missed them at the hospital but met them when they came to the apartment. I felt like a lovesick idiot for hovering around her just in case she needed something and went to work while they stayed with her. Every day I would leave for work, I couldn’t wait to come back to her, knowing I’d get to see her smile as soon as she saw me and got up to greet me halfway into the living room.

  As soon as her two weeks of bed rest were complete, she demanded to go and check on things at the coffee shop.

  “You heard what the doctor said: two weeks of bed rest then I could go to work.”

  “Rose, you still can’t go up the stairs on your own without getting dizzy—how do you think you’ll be able to work?”

  “Maybe I just like you carrying me upstairs. Ever think of that?”

  “Is that it?” I asked with a quirk in my eyebrow.

  “I do like you carrying me…”

  “But…”

  “I’m not gonna overwork myself, Jack. Trust me. I’m not gonna risk going through the same stuff again. I’m just going to sit behind the counter, only for a few hours.”

  “If you want to come back, call me and either I’ll come pick you up or I’ll send Raymond to get you.”

  “Deal.”

  She walked over to me, grabbed the lapels of my jacket, and did her best to pull me down. After giving me a quick peck that did nothing to quench the unending thirst I had for her, she whispered against my lips. “I think I like it when you worry about me. It’s really hot, Jack.”

  With a new sparkle in her eyes, she bit her lip, and I realized she was both seducing me and backing away from me at the same time. Stopping that nonsense, I pulled her back against me and met her waiting lips with a better and longer kiss than she’d given me. We were both out of breath, and my cock had very different ideas about how we should spend the day. I forced myself to let her go and took her to her beloved coffee shop.

  During lunch time, I found myself on her doorstep with three damn bouquets full of roses. She was sitting behind the register, chatting and laughing with Sally. The shop was full of people, both at the tables and at the bar. She came alive in this place, looked perfect with a smile on her face, and I was happy I’d had a part in giving it to her—no matter how I’d had a part in doing so.

  It was then, right at that moment, that I decided I wasn’t going to tell her anything, because I couldn’t bear the thought of losing her, not when I could see she was starting to fall for me as I was starting to fall for her too. I’d happily hide the truth and feel no regret if it meant I got to make her happy and keep her in my life.

  A few people who were occupying the table in front of her small library trickled out of the coffee shop, walking around me to do so and I came unstuck. The second the bell on top of the door chimed, her head turned just so slightly, and her eyes came to me. I smiled at her, and her smile turned into a big grin. Then she noticed the flowers in my arms. Gently, she slid down the stool and came around the counter, meeting me halfway. Even though I’d dropped her off just a few hours earlier, I could hardly take my eyes off of her. I didn’t think I was ever gonna get enough of that smile.

  We were only inches apart when she stopped and whispered uncertainly. “Is it okay to kiss you?”

  I lost my smile and frowned down at her. “What kind of question is that?”

  “We haven’t kissed in public since we decided to be…” She moved her hands back and forth between us. “This.”

  I held the back of her head and bent down to whisper into her ear. “How about we try it and see what happens.” When our eyes met, hers were smiling at me. Finally, she tipped her head back, her lips met mine, and she opened her mouth to me. A few seconds into the kiss, right when it was getting better, we had to stop when a new group of customers walked in.

  “There,” I said, my voice hoarse.

  “There,” she echoed, her own voice husky. She grinned up at me and pulled me to the side as Sally took care of the newcomers. “The roses are for me, I assume?” she asked, bouncing on her feet a little.

  Finally I remembered the damn things and handed them to her. She took them from me with a gentleness that broke my heart. The first time I’d brought her flowers on the opening day, she had done the same thing with an expression that read like she couldn’t believe all of them were hers. It both pissed me off and broke my heart. I’d buy her flowers every day if it meant that look would disappear from her face in time.

  Closing her eyes, she smelled a white rose. “Can this be your Monday thing? If you’re gonna buy them every Monday, that is. I mean, if you do, can you be the one who brings them over? Instead of the florist?”

  “If that’s what you want, I can do that, Rose,” I said softly.

  She nodded slowly; I knew she didn’t like to jostle her head too much.

  “Can you wait for a second? I’ll leave these in the kitchen and come right back. Wait, all right?”

  “I’m not going anywhere.”

  She rushed away at a slower pace than her usual and came back out a moment later.

  “Just put them in some water. Also, they delivered the wreaths this morning. Garlands and other stuff for the front door to replace the roses will be delivered tomorrow.”

  I looked at the windows but didn’t see anything hanging.

  “I didn’t put them up yet,” she clarified.

  I focused on her. “And you’re not gonna put them up.”

  She laughed. “No, I won’t. I know. I meant I didn’t let Owen put them up. I thought maybe you and I could…”

  I couldn’t help it—I leaned down and kissed her again. “Yes. You and I. It’s always you and I from now on.”

  To my surprise, she rose up on her toes and hugged me. Carefully, I wrapped my hands around her waist and plastered her to my body, holding tight. Her hair smelled of pears, it was her new shampoo, and I found myself closing my eyes and breathing in her scent. Too soon, she let go and dropped back down to her heels.

  “What was that for?”

  She ran her hands down my chest, adjusting my tie as she shrugged. “Just because. And I feel fine. You don’t have to take me back to the apartment just yet. Sally and Owen are doing all the real work.”

  “That’s not why I came,” I lied. I had come to check up on her and see if she wanted to go back home. Just in case she wanted to leave or wasn’t feeling okay, I wanted to be the one who took care of her, not Raymond.

  “Oh?”

  “I wanted to have lunch with you, but if you’re busy—”

  Her eyebrows rose and her smile widened. “No, not busy at all. It can be like a date—our first date.”

  “Date?” I asked in an uncertain tone. I wasn’t so sure about that.

  The bell over the door chimed and her smiling eyes shifted in that direction. In just a second, right in front of me, all the color in her face drained and her expression went blank until she looked nothing like my Rose. I looked over my shoulder.

  Joshua Landon.

  He was staring at Rose, and she was staring right back.

  I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Rage like I’d never known rolled through
me. It took a lot for me not to pummel him where he was standing.

  When Rose moved, my hand shot out and I caught her elbow. She met my eyes, her hand covering mine. “It’s okay, Jack.”

  No. No, it wasn’t okay.

  Joshua made it to our side.

  “Hawthorne.” He inclined his head to me then turned his entire focus on Rose. When my fingers were starting to curl, forming fists, I had to let go of Rose’s arm before my grip could hurt her. Instead, I linked our fingers together and faced Joshua like that. He noticed it, as I wanted him to, but his only reaction was a fleeting grin I was just itching to wipe off of his smug face.

  “Rose.”

  “What are you doing here, Joshua?” she asked, her grip around my fingers just as tight as mine around hers.

  “I heard you had a little health problem. I wanted to see how you were doing, and, well…” His hands in his pockets, he looked around the coffee shop with an appreciative smile and shrugged. “I also wanted to see your place. You wanted this for such a long time, and I’m glad you finally made it happen, honey.”

  I started to draw in slow and steady breaths. The endearment coming from his lips kept echoing in my brain. He was goading me. It was only by sheer luck that I was holding myself together when I wanted to kill him.

  “I had surgery, and I’m fine. Where did you hear about it?”

  “Here and there.”

  Roses’s fingers tightened around mine.

  “If I had known before, I would have visited you at the hospital. I hate to think you were going through that alone. But then again, you like to be alone, don’t you.”

  Rose took a side step and rested her shoulder against my arm. We looked like an unbreakable unit in front of him, and I liked that. “Thank you for your concern, but I wasn’t alone. My husband was with me.”

  The son of a bitch tilted his head and fully took me in. When the smug bastard smiled, my jaw clenched, and without even realizing what I was doing, I took a step forward, only to feel Rose’s arm wrap around mine to keep me in place.

  “Your husband. Right. I can see that,” he murmured with amusement.

  “How is my cousin, Joshua?” Rose asked, surprising both me and Joshua, it seemed.

  “She…” He faltered, eyes flitting my way. “She’s good. Rose, I want you to know it wasn’t anything we had planned, and it had nothing to do with—”

  “I don’t need or want your explanation. It’s not my business what either one of you does.”

  More customers trickled in, and Sally called out to Rose. After a quick look shot my way, she went to see what Sally wanted. Leaving me with Joshua.

  I fisted my hand, my eyes fixed on him.

  “You son of a bitch,” I whispered.

  He chuckled and shook his head.

  “If I were you, I’d watch my words. The next time I show up you might not be here and who knows what will come up. So if I were you, I’d answer my calls.”

  Before I could slip in a word, Rose came back to my side.

  Joshua turned his attention to her. “You seem to be busy so I won’t keep you any longer. I just wanted to see that you were okay with my own eyes. I know I made a mistake in the end Rose, but you can’t even imagine how hard it was for me.”

  He leaned forward, and every muscle in my body tensed.

  Rose leaned back before he could get to her, and Joshua somehow feigned a very believable hurt expression as he sighed and said, “I deserved that.”

  Rose chuckled and I turned my confused gaze to her. “You’re a joke. Seriously? I mean seriously? God, you have no idea how thankful I’m that you dumped me. Have a good day,” Rose said, ice in her tone.

  “I deserved that too,” Joshua murmured, but there was a hardness in his eyes. He didn’t like what he heard at all.

  He nodded to her once and then to me. Without another word, he walked out the door. The blood in my veins was boiling. Him showing up had been a show for me. A warning.

  If Rose hadn’t been holding on to me, I would’ve followed him.

  “Wait for me,” Rose ordered firmly. “I’ll be right back.”

  I looked down at her in confusion.

  “Sally needs my help. You don’t have to leave yet, do you?” she asked, mistaking my silence for something else.

  “No,” I grumbled, and then I cleared my throat. “No, I’ll wait.”

  After the new customers had grabbed their orders and were heading to the empty table, Rose got back to me.

  “I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t even know why he thought coming here would be a good idea, but I don’t care. I won’t spend a single second talking about him.”

  “I wasn’t going to say anything,” I lied. “Only…I don’t want you to talk to him again.”

  “You’ll hear no arguments from me. Good. So…do you want to wait for a table to open, or do you want to eat with me in the kitchen?”

  “What do you want to do?”

  The smile that had been missing ever since Joshua Landon had walked in came back out for me again. “Kitchen. I like having you all to myself.”

  It was one of the best things I had heard in all my life, if not the absolute best.

  In the following days, Rose and I never talked about her ex’s sudden appearance, but I did have a private talk with him without her knowledge, for the last time.

  * * *

  Christmas Eve was nothing special compared to how others celebrated it. It was just the two of us, as neither one of us had family to celebrate it with. There had been an office party I could’ve taken her to, but she wasn’t completely back to herself yet, she still got headaches if she skipped her medicine, and I didn’t want her on her feet for more than a few hours.

  As a last minute surprise, I brought in a small Christmas tree and enough ornaments to decorate the whole damn house if we wanted. It was a tradition I wanted to share with her. The smile that bloomed on her face when she saw me and Steve hauling the tree into the apartment was priceless. Her laughter that rung through the apartment as we decorated it together made it one of the best days of my life.

  So, it was just us in front of the TV after we cooked together and then ate together. She fell asleep with her head on my shoulder around nine PM, twenty minutes into the movie she had picked for us to watch. When it ended, I woke her up with a kiss on her neck.

  She walked in front of me all the way up the stairs, and I followed. We were both quiet. I shoved my hands in my pockets and stood in front of her door as she leaned back against the wall.

  Neither of us wanted to say goodbye, so we stood there, looking into each other’s eyes and waiting for the other to do or say something that would keep us together longer.

  “It was a good day. I really enjoyed cooking with you.”

  “You didn’t cook, Rose. You sat on the counter and stole my carrots and roasted potatoes.”

  “But you fed them to me yourself.”

  “You stole more than what I gave you.”

  “I shared my roasted chestnuts with you.”

  I nodded and my eyes fell to her lips. “You did.”

  “So do you want to make it a regular thing?”

  “You mean where I cook for you and you steal from my preparations?”

  She grinned and nodded enthusiastically.

  “Sure. Why not.”

  We stared at each other for a few seconds. I had no idea what she was thinking, but there were a few things crossing my mind.

  “I should go,” she mumbled, but she didn’t make a move to leave. “Merry Christmas, Jack Hawthorne.” She leaned up, placed her hand on my chest, and softly kissed my lips. It was over in three seconds. It was over too soon.

  “Merry Christmas, Rose Hawthorne.” Then it was my turn to kiss her. It maybe lasted five, six seconds.

  “Good night Jack.” She leaned up again, and we went for another kiss as I tried to hide my smile and kiss her back at the same time. On this round, she let her tongue tangle with
mine and cupped my cheek. When I opened my eyes, hers were still closed. She sighed and licked her lips. They were already red. They were perfect.

  I smiled down at her, but she missed it.

  She fisted my sweater with one hand and dropped her forehead to my chest. My smile widened and I wrapped one of my hands around her waist, using the other to tilt her chin up.

  “What are you thinking, Rose?”

  She let out a long breath and then grimaced. “That I really want you.”

  I arched an eyebrow, the admission coming out of nowhere and kicking me in the stomach.

  “And we are married, but we haven’t even gone out on a real, official date yet. I really want to have sex with you, but I’m not allowed to do that yet. I feel like everything is going the wrong way with us. It’s all backward, and it’s frustrating the hell out of me.”

  “You want to have sex with me?” I asked, still stuck on that. Evidently we were thinking the same thing. She didn’t realize I’d taken a step forward and she was now backed up against the wall.

  “Really, really bad.”

  My heart hammering in my chest, I leaned my head down and whispered in her ear. “Tell me how bad.”

  She arched away from my lips, and I noticed the goose bumps on the skin of her arms. Mirroring me, she put her hands on my neck and pulled me down to her so she could whisper back. “I don’t think I can put it into words, Jack.”

  It struck me that even though we were alone in this big apartment, we were acting like we were quickly running out of space. It was just the two of us, yet still we were whispering as if we wanted to make sure no one could hear our thoughts.

  No one could hear our wants.

  No one but us. We didn’t want to share anything.

  We wanted it to be just us.

  Rose and Jack.

  “Your suits make me go crazy. Your frown?” She let out a small groan and pulled me down farther until her lips were grazing my ear with each word out of her mouth. “Your frown kills me, Jack. Every time you frown, it does things to me, and then you roll up your sleeves and I feel like I’m watching porn specifically made for my eyes. You kiss me…you kiss me and you’re not a turtle anymore. You’re so good at it that whenever you kiss me, whenever I think about you kissing me, I get so wet and I don’t want to stop. I don’t ever want to stop kissing you.”