Climbing Fear

by Leisl Leighton

  ‘Can I have a quick word?’ he asked Reid after bidding the others goodbye.

  Reid waved Nat to stay with Steve and Mac and followed the officer outside. ‘What is it?’

  ‘I just wanted to let you know that the Peterson boys aren’t responsible for what’s going on here.’

  ‘How do you know?’

  ‘We pulled them in yesterday and they’re in lock up. They admitted to a bunch of things but denied having been on this property.’

  ‘They could be lying.’

  Bryce shrugged, shoving his hands into the pockets of his trousers. ‘I’m inclined to believe them. There’s no reason for them to lie about it when what they owned up to was worse than ransacking the house.’

  ‘They knocked Nat unconscious. They might not want to be charged with more offences.’

  ‘Perhaps, but it certainly wasn’t them tonight. They’re still in lock up. Also, they didn’t steal the rifle and hand gun from the Quarry Road Stud farm.’

  ‘You think whoever hurt Barb tonight and Nat the other day was responsible for that theft?’

  ‘I don’t know. It doesn’t seem likely given neither time a gun was used, but someone has them and given the shots you’ve heard and the carcasses you’ve found, they’ve been using them around here.’

  ‘You think we’re in danger?’

  ‘Anyone who feels the need to steal a gun could be dangerous, so yes, I think you need to keep an eye out and call us if you hear any more shots.’

  Reid rubbed his jaw and looked back in through the window at Nat as she sat at the table talking quietly to Mac and Steve. Her face was drawn, dark circles marking her eyes. ‘Can we keep this between us for now?’ He didn’t want Nat worried more than she already was. With everything that had happened to her, the last thing she needed to worry about was somebody out there with a gun. ‘I’ll let Mac and the boys know to keep an eye out first thing tomorrow.’

  ‘Not a problem. Tell them to call me directly if they hear or see anything suspicious.’

  Reid nodded and walked him to his patrol car. When he returned, Nat was by herself, Mac and Steve having gone, probably to check everything was fine if Reid knew the other man. The moment the door opened, Nat stood.

  ‘Problem?’

  ‘No. Bryce just wanted to reiterate we need to be careful.’

  Nat nodded. ‘Do you want to go to the hospital now? Mac said he would call Connie and Maureen to come to help keep everything in hand.’

  Reid sighed in relief. ‘Yeah. I really need to see Barb.’

  ‘Mac wants us to call him as soon as we get there and tell him what’s going on. I think maybe there’s something going on between him and Barb.’

  ‘Yeah, I thought the same thing tonight, although they’ve kept it pretty under cover. I hadn’t seen anything to give them away before tonight.’

  ‘Neither had I.’

  ‘I want to go with you,’ Nat said.

  The tightness in his chest loosened. ‘I want that too, but …’ He looked towards the bunkhouse where Tilly slept. ‘Are you okay leaving Tilly here?’

  ‘Mac said he’s going to call John and some of the other men and place a watch. Steve’s helping them too. She’s as safe as she can be here. Besides, she’s so exhausted, she was falling asleep before I even got her to bed. She won’t wake until the morning and I can be back by then.’

  ‘Are you sure?’

  ‘I have to see how Barb is.’ She wrung her hands in front of her. ‘I just want to kiss Tilly first though before we go.’

  ‘Me too.’

  Together they let themselves into the bunkhouse, tiptoed across to Tilly’s bed, kneeling beside the bunk, watching the little girl’s sleeping form. She didn’t make a sound or move a muscle as Nat stroked her hair and kissed her forehead. ‘I’ll be back as soon as I’ve made sure Barb is safe.’

  Reid couldn’t stop himself from touching Tilly’s hair too, a full feeling in his chest as he looked down at the little girl’s peaceful face, then he took Nat’s hand and they left. Reid only paused to give Mac instructions and to ask Steve to go to the local Bunnings first thing to grab some things to help them keep the stud and its buildings secure. Nobody was breaking in here without paying the consequences for it again.

  Chapter 24

  Nat glanced at Reid as they drove through the still dark bush down into the Latrobe Valley. His knuckles were white as he gripped the wheel, his lips thinned. She reached over and put her hand on his leg, squeezing slightly. He glanced over at her, a small smile flashing at her before he looked back at the road.

  ‘She’ll be fine.’

  ‘I know. She has to be.’ They couldn’t do without Barb. She was the heart of CoalCliff, the soul. To think of the place without her and her big personality and colourful hair to match was all wrong.

  He lifted her hand, kissed her knuckles. She smiled at him, leaned over and kissed his hand in return. For a moment their eyes met, and she had an absurd sensation that everything would be okay with him there. Which was madness. Whatever she had with Reid would be impermanent, as it should be. As it had to be. She needed to let him go. Didn’t she?

  He kissed her hand again, the warmth of his lips as they lingered on her skin thrilling and warming and calming all at the same time. It was obscene to think about making love to him at a moment like this, but she couldn’t help it when he was doing that.

  ‘You need to stop that,’ she said, her voice husky.

  He smiled and kissed her one more time before lowering her hand back to his thigh and leaving it there, his hand over hers.

  Barb was in surgery when they got to the hospital. The scan on her head wound had shown no bleeds, but the break in her leg was bad and given her age, they needed to put in pins so it would heal properly.

  ‘What about her heart? It stopped.’

  ‘Shock can make the body react in horrible ways,’ the nurse said. ‘Don’t worry, the doctors are taking care of her.’ She glanced at the clock. ‘It will be a few hours though, so why don’t you go and make yourself comfortable in the waiting room? I’ll let you know when she comes out of surgery and is in recovery.’

  They went into the waiting room, the stained couches, pale salmon walls and old magazines familiar but not at all comforting. Not even the Christmas decorations hanging off every surface could make her feel cheerful as the ones in the scanner waiting room had just a few days ago. That visit had been a pain in the arse, something she was all too familiar with over the years of dealing with Andrew and his episodes. This was something else though. Barb didn’t deserve this. Not that she thought she deserved any of the times she’d been hurt by her husband, but this was just different. She wanted to scream her worry and anger to the sky, wanted to hurt the person who’d done this to a woman whose whole life had been about helping others and bringing joy. Not to mention someone was bringing violence to CoalCliff, a place that had always been so safe as long as Barb was there with her smiles and her hugs and her scent of freshly baked scones and horses.

  Reid’s hand on hers tightened almost as if he sensed her thoughts. He probably felt the same way or worse—Barb was his grandmother. She’d taken him in when his own father refused responsibility for his energetic child, even though she was dealing with her own grief over the death of her daughter. Nat leaned her head against his shoulder, comforting as much as taking comfort. She was so glad he was here and that she could be here for him too. There was a rightness to it that she’d never felt before. It should scare her—it would have scared her in the past—but it didn’t now. It was strange in all this worry and tension, there was a little bloom of rightness, of happiness, inside her.

  They sat there, Reid’s arm around her shoulders, holding hands, not saying anything, staring at the TV on the wall but not really taking in what they were watching. Reid picked up a magazine and began to flip through, but she knew she couldn’t focus on the words. Besides, all they seemed to have here were gossip mags.

 
‘Hell, how old is this magazine?’ Reid said into the silence, flipping to the cover.

  ‘Why?’

  He held it up for her to see. His face smiled at her from the page he was on, his arm slung around Luke’s shoulders as they took a selfie, a fantastic snow-covered view in the background. ‘That was one of our first big climbs,’ he said, a small smile on his lips. ‘Aoraki in New Zealand. You know, where I told you about with the star gazing? God, look how young we are.’

  ‘Do you mind seeing articles about yourself and Luke?’

  ‘Luke and I used to read them aloud to the crew and laugh about all the lies and bad reporting. Like this article. It credits that photo as being our first ever climb and says it was Kilimanjaro. I ask you, does that look like Kilimanjaro to you?’

  She shook her head. ‘Why check for truth when it’s usually so boring. The lie is far more sensational.’

  His lips pressed together. ‘You didn’t have a good time of it with the media, did you?’

  ‘Did you after Luke died?’

  ‘No. No, they weren’t funny after that.’ He closed the magazine and looked up at the TV screen. ‘I pretty much turned off everything. I didn’t look at my phone, watch TV or read newspapers or magazines. I barely knew what was going on in the world because I was afraid to see Luke’s face appear somewhere.’

  ‘I understand. I can still barely bring myself to watch TV. I even switched off social media for months, unable to stomach the comments there.’ She nudged his shoulder. ‘I suppose that’s something else we’ve got in common, hey?’

  ‘Yeah.’ His smile was in his eyes as he bent and kissed her lightly on the lips. ‘I’m glad you came back home, Nat.’

  ‘I am too.’

  She settled against his shoulder as he put the gossip mag down and picked up a National Geographic. Images on the television flickered in front of her eyes, words coming up on the screen—escaped criminal, police search, murder, plane crash, missing child—one bad thing after another. She closed her eyes against the onslaught. Where were the happy Christmas stories? What was wrong with the world that everything on the news was so dark? She had enough horrible images playing in her mind already, she didn’t need more gifted to her by the television news.

  After a while her head began to loll on his shoulder and her eyes began to close. She tried to hold them open, but it was so hard. She couldn’t fall asleep. She had to be there for Reid and couldn’t do that if she was asleep. She sat up, shook her head and said, ‘I think I need to walk around a bit.’ She stood up, stretched, began to pace around the room. She ran her hand through some red tinsel, enjoying the soft bristly sensation. ‘What will we do about Christmas?’ Barb loved Christmas so much—it was a huge week at CoalCliff every year from Christmas Eve to New Year’s Eve, with as much of her family as could come there as well as neighbours and any stragglers she managed to pick up for multiple celebrations. Nat remembered days of torn wrapping paper, laughter, way too much food and just the right amount of alcohol. She’d so wanted that for Tilly, but it wouldn’t be the same if Barb wasn’t there.

  ‘Hopefully Barb will be out by then.’

  ‘She’ll want to do things herself.’

  ‘It will be up to us to keep her in check. Flynn will help with that too.’

  ‘Have you called him?’

  ‘No. I thought I’d wait until she’s out of surgery and I can tell him something definite.’

  ‘Good idea.’ She kept wandering, aware of Reid’s gaze following her. She turned and … oh god, she loved the way he looked at her. She smiled and returned to his side, pressed a kiss to his lips, lingered for a moment, loving his scent, the taste of him, the rough abrasion of his five o’clock shadow.

  ‘Mmm, that was nice.’

  ‘Only nice?’ She sat back. ‘I think I need some practice if I only get a “nice”.’

  He chuckled. ‘Nice can be good. More than good. Exceptional.’

  ‘Well, that’s better then. Exceptional I can live with.’ She leaned in again and kissed him, opening to him, loving the slide of his tongue against hers, the way he suckled her upper lip into his mouth, the nip he gave her lower lip before running his tongue along the hurt and kissing her deeper, his hands moving into her hair. ‘Reid,’ she muttered against his lips. ‘I love the way you kiss me. I’ve always loved the way you kiss me.’

  ‘I never forgot the way you kissed me,’ he said, his eyes intense as he smiled at her. ‘I dreamed of you kissing me over the years. I can’t tell you how many nights I’ve woken with a raging hard-on just from dreaming about your kisses. Kissing you is a drug I don’t want to give up again.’

  The door behind them opened and they both turned to see the nurse.

  Her eyes glinted as she smiled at them and Nat blushed. She could just imagine the nurse rushing off to tell her colleagues she’d seen Reid Stratton snogging someone in the waiting room.

  Reid didn’t seem to notice the speculative look in the nurse’s eyes as he stood and asked, ‘Is Gran okay?’

  Her smile gentled as she looked at him. ‘Your grandmother has come out of surgery and is in recovery.’

  Reid stood. ‘How is she?’

  ‘She came through the operation like a trooper. She’ll be in recovery for an hour or so and then she’ll be moved to a room. I can take you there now, if you like, to wait.’

  ‘That would be great.’

  They followed the nurse down the hall and into a private room with a view across the flats of the Latrobe Valley. There was only one chair but the nurse returned with another and they sat, waiting. Finally, Barb was wheeled in. Reid stood, hands shoved into his pockets, his mouth pressed in a thin line as he watched the nurses and orderlies get the bed in place and set the machines to monitor her. ‘She looks so small,’ he said softly when they were gone, edging forward and then back, as if he wanted to go to her, but couldn’t.

  Nat took his hand, led him to the side of the bed and took Barb’s hand in hers. It was warm, as Barb’s hands always were, but suddenly seemed so fragile, the knuckles nobbled with signs of arthritis, age spots covering the tanned skin. She’d never noticed that before and it suddenly occurred to her that time was fleeting. Life was finite, she’d always known that, but standing here, next to Barb’s bed, looking down at the woman who was more mother to her than her own mother had ever been, she was suddenly afraid of dying without ever having taken a chance at the things that meant the most to her.

  Her gaze flickered to Reid.

  Him, this man. She’d thought she could let him go, set him free once he was done with his healing, but she couldn’t. The thought of losing him, of losing her chance with him, of letting it slip through her fingers again, was suddenly unbearable. She couldn’t do it. She just couldn’t do it. Home wasn’t a place. It was people. She’d never understood that before. She didn’t need to stay in one place to have the stability she’d always craved. She just needed to surround herself with people who treasured her as much as she treasured them.

  She turned to him, to say what was in her heart, to let him know exactly what he meant to her and that if and when he left, she and Tilly would go with him if he wanted.

  ‘Reidy-boy?’

  The feeble voice wavered in the air, sucking the words from her throat.

  ‘Barb!’

  ‘Gran!’

  They both grabbed for her hand, laughing and crying and kissing her soft skin.

  Barb looked up at them, her eyes bloodshot, gaze unfocused. ‘Nat and Reidy-boy. You’re both here. Together.’

  ‘Yes, Gran. We wouldn’t be anywhere else.’ Reid was blinking hard. ‘How are you feeling?’

  ‘Like a son-of-a-bitch whacked my head.’ She shifted, frowned. ‘I can’t feel m’leg.’

  ‘It was broken, but they’ve fixed it. Everything’s going to be okay, Gran. We’ll take care of you. You don’t have to worry.’

  She gave them a wavery smile. ‘I won’t.’ Her gaze flickered to their clasped hands
. ‘Glad to see you’ve come to senses.’ Her lids drooped. ‘Sleepy.’

  ‘Rest, Barb. We’ll stay with you. We won’t leave you alone.’

  The older woman nodded and her eyes closed. Reid let out a loud breath. ‘She’s okay.’

  ‘Of course she is. There was never any other choice.’

  He smiled at her and then looked back at his grandmother, her thin, wrinkled hand held in the smooth strength of his. Nat pulled both chairs to the side of the bed and made him take a seat so he could be more comfortable as he held his grandmother’s hand. She sat in the one next to him and leaned her head against his shoulder. The knowledge of before filled her up, wanting to spill out of her, but now wasn’t the time. When Barb was home, and on the mend, that would be the time. It wasn’t like Reid was going to leave again before Christmas. She had time to make a stand to grab a hold of happiness that would last for the rest of her life.

  After a while, her eyelids started to droop again. She shifted, yawning and realised she could see out the window. It was no longer black out there. She stood and walked over to breathe in the hope of the coming day.

  The sun was rising, the pink and orange of it spreading across the valley. The odd light flickered on here and there, farmers getting up to start their day and on the far edge of her vision, she could see the rise of the power station stacks.

  She looked over her shoulder at the clock on the wall—five o’clock. They’d been here for hours and were likely to be here for longer. At least until Barb woke up again and Reid felt he could leave her for a few hours to go home, have a shower and deal with the things that needed to be done at CoalCliff. She watched him for a moment. He looked drawn and tired, which was how she felt. It probably wasn’t safe for either of them to drive given how tired they both were. She couldn’t magic up sleep for either of them, but, ‘I think we both need some caffeine to keep going. And some food. I’ll go find something.’

  ‘Good idea. I’ll come with you.’ He went to stand, but she waved him back down.

  ‘You stay. She could wake again at any time and you want to be here when she does. I won’t be long.’ She bent down and gave him a quick kiss and then went in search of coffee, snacks and water—the air conditioning in hospitals always made her mouth so dry. The cafe would be closed, but there was bound to be a vending machine of some sort around somewhere.