by A. J. Macey
After an hour of reading, a pounding on the door startled me. Jumping at the abrupt noise, I hopped out of the warm cocoon I had made and headed upstairs.
“Cali girl, it’s us, open up,” Reid hollered from the other side. Unlocking and opening the door, I was greeted with worried gazes and thinned lips. “Oh, thank goodness.”
“What?” I questioned, shifting out of the way to let them in, temporarily forgetting our house still had no power. “Why do you guys all look like you saw a ghost or something?”
“Your phone is shut off,” Kingston explained, pointing to the device sticking up from my pocket.
“What? No, it isn’t...” I trailed off, seeing the ‘no service’ in the corner. “It was working only an hour ago,” I said under my breath as a sense of defeat washed over me.
“Why is it so cold in here?” Jesse asked, glancing around before pulling his coat back on.
“What’s going on, Emma?” Reid demanded, his tone hard as he looked at me. “First there’s no food, now your utilities and phone are off—”
“I know,” I yelled, slamming the front door shut. “Alright? I know. My mom’s never home, work seems to have taken over her whole freaking life. I see my mom about as often as my dad talks to me. Okay?” I deflated, everything finally coming pouring out as a wall of wavering shapes filled my sight.
“I’m trying to keep on top of everything with school and work and this shit with Brad, but in the last couple months, it’s becoming more and more me taking care of the house and bills and being the adult of my family, and I’m tired...” I choked out, no longer able to hold it all in. Reid stepped up, wrapping his arms around me until I was clutching the back of his coat as if he could keep me from drowning in my sobs.
“It’s alright, Babydoll, we’re here to help you,” Kingston reassured softly, his hand rubbing my lower back. “Did you get the utilities figured out?”
“Yeah, should be turned back on soon. They said within a couple of hours, and that was about an hour ago,” I explained through my sniffles. “But I don’t think I’ll have enough to cover the phone bill, and—”
“Let us worry about that, Cali girl,” Reid cut me off, squeezing before leaning back, his handsome face filling my teary vision. “Do you know the login and stuff for the phone bill?”
“Uh, yeah,” I stuttered, wiping my cheeks in a poor attempt to get my crying under control. “Let me grab it.” Turning, I walked back up the stairs and into my mom’s office for the second time. “Here you go.” I passed the booklet over to Kingston and Reid, who stood right outside the doorway in the hall. “Where’s Jesse?”
“He’s downstairs,” Kingston explained. There was a thread of something in his words that had my eyes narrowing, but I couldn’t put my finger on it.
“I’ll go check on him,” I explained, going around them, but before walking away, I paused. “Thank you. Seriously, you guys don’t have to do this, but I really appreciate it.”
“We don’t have to, but we want to, Cali girl. We want to know you’re taken care of,” Reid explained with a cocksure smile. “I mean, that’s the knightly thing to do, isn’t it?”
As much as I didn’t want to laugh, his boisterous exclamation had me chuckling, already feeling lighter as I shook my head and headed to the basement.
“Jess?” I called out hesitantly. His back was to me, his arm propped on the door frame to the backyard as he stared through the glass. My steps slowed as I neared him, something about his tense shoulders worrying me. “Jesse?”
“Why didn’t you tell us?” he murmured, still not turning to look at me. My heart squeezed at the hurt in his question.
“Because we already had enough to worry about, and I was hoping it was just a temporary thing. I never expected it to get this bad,” I explained quietly. “I planned on telling you.”
“When, Em?” Jesse finally turned to look over his shoulder at me, his lips curled down, and his eyes filled with hurt that made my heart crack.
“When everything else calmed down or when it got worse.”
“Is there anything else that’s been bothering you?” Jesse questioned. “We can’t help you if we don’t know what’s going on. You’re the one who said we need to communicate.” Questions about his cuts, bruises, and family life flared on the tip of my tongue, but I bit them back because he was right, I had said that, and right now, we were discussing my problems, not his.
Oh, he’s so going to get questioned about it.
Just not right now.
“Tyler won’t leave me alone,” I murmured. “I still don’t respond or acknowledge his messages or calls. I actually had planned on talking to you guys about it again today since I’m flying back to Cali tomorrow, and I wouldn’t be surprised if I ran into him.”
“Would it be frowned upon if I punched him?” Reid’s question startled me, not having heard them come down to the basement. Reid seemed irritated, but not necessarily with me, winking when I glanced at him. Kingston stood silently, his lips curling into a soft, reassuring smile, letting me know he wasn’t upset either.
“I’m pretty sure it would be, and I can’t handle another situation where I have to testify,” I tried to joke. It fell flat, but Reid and Kingston gave a soft chuckle. Glancing back at Jesse, I nibbled on my lip.
“It might be frowned upon, but I can’t say I disagree,” Jesse mumbled, finally turning to face us fully. “Come here, Em.” Jesse held his arms out. Taking a shuddering breath, I felt a few wayward tears leak out as I launched into his waiting hug. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you think I was mad. I just want to make sure you’re okay.”
“That’s what we said,” Reid exclaimed. “See, Cali girl? We’re here for you, even when shit gets hard.”
“I know,” I mumbled against Jesse’s soft shirt. “I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to apologize,” Kingston explained. “We just hate not knowing what’s bothering you. We want you to know we’re here to help, even if we get a bit worked up like we have about Tyler.”
“Yeah, you’re our girl,” Reid continued, “and it’s hard not being able to help. Hell, we don’t even have to help if you don’t want us to. We’re here for you to vent, rant, or cuddle.”
“I know,” I murmured, feeling worse the longer the conversation went on. “I’ll work on it, okay?”
“Alright, Cali girl. We didn’t say these things to hurt your feelings. We wanted you to see we can be open too and figured telling you how we felt would be good.” Reid’s sad smile filled my peripherals as he looked at me, and I realized I had a wayward tear rolling down my cheek.
“I think we could all work on the opening up part from here on out, though.” I didn’t have to look at Kingston to know the last comment was directed at Jesse, his body stiffening slightly as he held me.
“Yeah, but right now, we should help Em pack and figure out what she can do if she runs into Tyler on her trip,” Jesse countered, effectively shutting down the topic of his life. Reid and Kingston sighed but didn’t press the issue as they started toward my room. I pulled back, popped up on my toes, and kissed Jesse’s stubbled cheek before I turned to follow
“Don’t think I won’t pester you for answers sooner or later, Jess,” I whispered. His jaw ticked against my lips, but he didn’t argue. He may not want to tell me now, but soon enough, he would.
Baby steps.
11
December 22nd
No words for what happened today. None.
#FML #OverIt #NOTSundayFunday
“Thank you for flying with us, and we hope to see you on a future flight.” The flight attendant’s cheerful voice filtered through the crackly speakers as the rest of the passengers unbuckled and stood up once the seatbelt sign turned off. I followed at a slower pace, my body buzzing with a mixture of nervousness and excitement. And cramps, because why wouldn’t my period line up with something so nerve-wracking? Rolling the dramatic thought away, I stepped out of my row of seats.
This would be the first time I had seen my dad since the move, and as much as I missed him, I felt our reunion would be less than comfortable.
Well, that’s what happens when you’ve only talked maybe ten times since moving away, I grumbled internally, pulling my duffel from the overhead bin when it was my turn to exit. As I disembarked, I was happy I didn’t have to worry about getting a checked suitcase, my backpack and duffel holding everything I needed for my week trip. Following the signs, I headed to the exit from the concourse and into the main airport.
It was busy, being the holiday season as well as the weekend, so scanning the crowd was slow going, but after about ten minutes of searching, I gave up and dialed my dad’s number.
One ring.
Two rings.
Three rings.
Voicemail.
“Uh, hey, Dad,” I started after the beep. “I’m not sure if you’re here in the airport or not, but I don’t see you. I’ll try the house and vineyard phones, and if I can’t reach you, I’ll take an Uber,” I explained hesitantly, an odd sense of doom filling the pit of my stomach when the other two numbers went to voicemail as well.
Holding out hope for as long as my antsy anticipation would allow, I shuffled from one foot to the other until finally, after a half hour, I scheduled an Uber pickup, which thankfully, only took a few minutes to arrive. Climbing in, I gave the woman the address and tried to text my dad.
Emma: Hey, got an Uber, heading to the house now. See you soon.
I held off on the urge to put a ‘hopefully’ at the end, but just barely, my already gnawed and cracked lip finding its way between my teeth for what seemed like the tenth time in the last hour.
An hour and a half of traffic later, the Uber pulled up to the rounded drive and came to a stop. Paying quickly, I gave a forced smile and hopped out of the car. Staring at the two-story house that had once been my home—all my childhood memories, all the holidays, get-togethers with my friends—I should feel sad, but it only made my anxiety flare.
I was a stranger in my own home.
Taking a deep breath, I walked to the front door and rang the bell, fidgeting until I heard the locks turn. His black hair was graying ever so slightly at the temples, his face clean shaven, and his normal slacks and button-up shirt had been traded out for a pair of jeans and a long-sleeve shirt. Swallowing, I mustered up a smile, hoping it seemed genuine as I stared at the man who looked more like a stranger than my own father.
“Emma?” my dad asked in confusion, glancing between my bag in my hand and my face. “What are you doing here?”
“Mom got me tickets to visit this week, remember?” I squeaked out, trying hard to keep my quickly unraveling emotions in check. My dad checked his watch and groaned.
“I’m so sorry, sweetheart, I must have lost track of what day it was. Come on in.” My dad stepped off to the side, reaching for my duffel in the process. “There’s something you need to know, though, Emm—”
“Darling,” a woman called from deeper in the house, and my heart dropped into my stomach. “Who is it? One of Ruby’s or Tanner’s friends?”
I gaped, shock rolling through me as I processed what was happening. The stomach-turning surprise quickly accompanied a painful ache in the center of my chest as I glanced at my dad. A grimace and a worried gaze looked back at me.
“Wow,” I deadpanned, looking at my dad in a new light. “It all makes sense now,” I bit out. Anger grew with each moment that passed, smothering the hurt and surprise until all I was felt was fury as I shook with the urge to scream.
“Sweetheart, I need to introduce you to Meredith and her two teenagers, Ruby and Tanner,” my father started, but I shook my head.
“No. I don’t want to meet your new family,” I ground out through clenched teeth. Did he seriously think I would just accept this? His life where I seemingly didn’t exist, eighteen years meaning nothing. Maybe before moving, I would have been too stunned to argue, to snap, to demand answers, but there had been too much going on in my life lately to waste my time, letting people walk all over me.
“Why the heck didn’t you tell me? Oh, right, you wouldn’t have ever had the chance in the total of twenty minutes we’ve talked in the last three and a half months.” A woman with red curly hair came around the corner, concern on her face. She was petite and pretty in a pair of black pants and a light green sweater.
“Emma, this is Meredith. Meredith, this is my—” my father tried to introduce me, but I laughed so hard, tears of anger and heartbreak fell.
Oh, hell no.
He doesn’t get to forget me and still expect me to be the perfect daughter.
That’s not me… not anymore.
“You’re really going to try this, aren’t you?” I challenged. “You don’t bother to talk to me, to even tell me you had a new freaking family! Why should I bother to play nice?” I snapped, glaring between the two of them.
“You didn’t tell her?” my dad’s girlfriend—fiancée, based on the giant rock on her hand—Meredith, murmured in surprise. “David—”
“I didn’t want to interfere with your schooling,” he tried to explain, but I just shook my head. Taking my bag from my dad’s hand, I started toward the door. “Emma, wait!”
“If you’re so willing to replace me, I don’t need you as a dad,” I hissed, running off the porch and across the drive.
Screw them, I’ve been doing just fine on my own for the last few months. Gripping my duffle, I trudged to the closest coffee shop two miles down the road.
Well, fine enough.
By the time I saw the coffee shop’s familiar logo and neon colors, my feet were throbbing, and my back and shoulders were stiff and achy from carrying my bags. Thankfully, it only took a few more minutes before I was finally in the air-conditioned café, surrounded by the calming scent of coffee.
Thank goodness for empty seats.
As soon as I was seated, I sighed with relief, and after a brief moment to rest, I pulled out my phone and called the first of the boys I could find on my phone.
“Hey, Babydoll,” Kingston greeted. “How’s your dad?” At the reminder of what happened, I felt my eyes water and my jaw clench in anger.
“I’m coming home,” I croaked quietly to not catch the attention of the other shop goers.
“What’s wrong? Are you okay?” I heard Reid question, and the sounds of the three of them moving filled the phone, so Kingston must have put it on speaker.
“Turns out, he has a new family,” I whispered, playing with the end of my sleeve. “A fiancée, and she has two teenagers.” None of them spoke, stunned into silence.
“Wow,” Jesse breathed, so softly, I wasn’t sure he had realized he’d spoken aloud.
“So, yeah, I’m going to see if I can find a cheap ticket to fly home.”
“We can do that. We’re sitting at Kingston’s laptop, anyway,” Reid explained, the sound of typing filtering through the speaker.
“I’m not sure about what I’ll do if the flight’s tomorrow. I left my dad’s and went to the coffee shop near my house…” I trailed off when my phone beeped, an incoming call from my dad I promptly ignored.
“So, uh, how’s the cabin?” I redirected the conversation while they searched.
“It’s not bad, just watching a movie until the game is on,” Reid explained. “How are you, really, Cali girl?”
“Angry, upset, but in reality, it doesn’t honestly surprise me. In a way, I’m actually glad to know why he’s been so distant.” I went to continue when I heard my name practically shouted by a familiar nasally voice. Glancing over, I spotted Kara’s frizzy blond hair and bright smile.
“Who’s that?” I heard Jesse ask, but Kara closed the distance between us before I could answer. I dropped the phone from my ear, but left the call connected, hoping she would get the memo that I really wasn’t up for talking.
“Hey, Kara.” I mustered up as much cheer as I could and flashed her a smile. Well, hopefully, it looked like a
smile and not a grimace. “How’s it going?”
“It’s great! How are you? I didn’t realize you were coming back into town for the holidays,” she rattled on. “Staying with your dad? Oh, have you met Ruby or Tanner yet?” At the mention of my dad’s new family, my smile fell. Kara must have realized something was wrong because her brows furrowed, and her head tilted slightly.
“I didn’t know about Meredith or her kids until I showed up on my dad’s doorstep today after he forgot I was flying in. So, no, I haven’t met them,” I deadpanned, growing irritated.
“Oh,” Kara squeaked in surprise, “I thought you knew. I mean, if I knew you hadn’t, I would have told you. Well, if you ever want a chance to meet them, they’re both really cool. Tanner is a cutie to the max, and I’m actually hoping to score a date with him. Maybe when you see him, you could drop my name or something?”
“Uh, I doubt I’ll be seeing him anytime soon. I’m heading home tonight,” I explained, my brow cocked in disbelief she’d really just asked me that.
“Oh, well, in case you see him, or I don’t know, get his number or something.” Kara seemed unfazed by the awkwardness of the conversation and gave me a quick hug before fluttering away, but before she could make it out the door, I called out.
“You know, Kara, people aren’t here just for you to use. I don’t exist solely for you to get an ‘in’ with someone.” Sighing, I shook my head and looked away. “Just something to think about.”
She stood there stunned, but instead of saying anything real, she turned with a muttered ‘whatever’ and stormed out. Was that really what my friends and life were like? Shallow and self-absorbed? I mean, I’m all for wanting to get a chance with a boy I liked, but wow. My brain whirled until I finally remembered I had the boys on the phone and put it against my ear.