The Mating Need (Werewolves of Montana Book 15)

by Bonnie Vanak

  They returned to the living room. Troy knew he should return to the bunkhouse. Knew he had an early rising to help the other cowboys patrol the perimeter before the tourists arrived. Dale had been insistent on that because the security enforcer sensed things, the way animals sensed changing weather.

  But Jenny looked frail and vulnerable, not her usual tough self.

  “I need to leave. But I want to make sure you’re okay.”

  “Stay here with me.” Jenny touched the sofa. “This feels so odd, Troy. I haven’t slept in a place this … homey … in months. I don’t want to be alone.”

  He wanted to. He wanted more than anything to climb into that bed and curl up beside her. Maybe a few kisses to get things started and then they’d shuck their clothing and give way to their feelings at last.

  But more than sex, Jenny needed to feel secure. The way Snake had looked at her sent his hackles rising.

  “I have no intention of leaving, Jenny. Not now. I need to return to the bunkhouse and fetch my stuff and get your pack as well. Go get settled in the bedroom and I’ll sleep on the sofa when I return.”

  “That bed is big enough for both of us. Why not use that?”

  Troy gave her a level look. “First, if I sleep on the sofa I’ll know the minute if anything or anyone tries to break inside. Second, if you want me in bed with you, I ain’t sleeping, Jenny.”

  He went to her and stood close enough to see the fascinating green flecks in her blue eyes. “I don’t know if you’re ready for that. If you are, I am. But I’m not pushing you into something you’re not ready for. And once we cross that threshold, sweetheart, I’m not holding back. All night long.”

  Her soft complexion and huge eyes compelled him to lean closer. Confess his deepest desire.

  “When I take you, we’ll have a long time for me to do to you the things I’ve dreamed of for a while. There’ll be no rush. Only us, naked, nothing between us.”

  Jenny’s pupils dilated. “Troy, you make me want to get naked. Now.”

  He sighed. “That makes two of us, darling. But I can wait. Good things are worth waiting for.”

  Rubbing a hand over the bristles on his chin, he ruefully wondered how cold the shower was in this place. Might help with the rising heat in his groin. He had no intention of dozing off with a hard-on.

  Troy watched her yawn. “Big day. Go upstairs, get some rest.”

  “What about you?”

  “Tomorrow I have an early day. Have to help Darius with a group of tourists who want a trail ride into the mountains.”

  “Tourists? You mean Skins? Aiden allows humans on this ranch?”

  Judging from her tone, he got it. She didn’t think the Lupines here were as wild and carefree as they seemed.

  “This is a working ranch and one of the things Mitchell does is trail rides for Skins. During certain days and never during a full moon.”

  He winked at her, but Jenny did not smile back.

  “Jenny, there’s no such thing as a pure Lupine pack anymore. We all have to make adjustments to living in the Skin world. If you’re still searching for that Lupine utopia where everyone runs around in wolfskin and lives off the land, I doubt you’ll find many packs. Except in Alaska.”

  He really hoped she wouldn’t entertain going that far to get away from people.

  “It’s not that, Troy. Not anymore.” She frowned. “This feels like a good place, Troy, but there’s still something here I can’t place. That evil stone I destroyed earlier… it felt like a test. As if someone were trying to infiltrate the ranch, and seeing where the weaknesses were.”

  Troy had to know. If anyone had seen what she had done… “How did you destroy the stone, Jenny? The same way you hurt those Skins in the dark alley?”

  Her mouth opened. She rubbed her arms and did not look at him. Troy went to her, cupped her chin.

  “It’s your business and yours alone. But I don’t like Tristan sniffing around here because if anyone saw what you did and told the Silver Wizard, he could take you away. Permanently.”

  She shivered as he stroked a thumb across her wobbling lower mouth. “I saw you react to him. Guess you’ve had your own troubles with that wizard.”

  “He can vaporize you, Jenny. Not one to be trifled with. Put as much space as possible between you and Tristan.”

  “What did you do to know so much about him?”

  Those big blue eyes looked at him without guile or deceit. Troy debated telling her, and gambled. Talking about the wizard and what he’d done made his erection shrivel faster than a cold shower.

  “You know I have a past, Jenny. Haven’t shared the bad stuff because you had baggage enough of your own.” He gestured to the sofa and they both sat upon it.

  “I told you I was left without a pack when my family moved to Europe and I didn’t want to go with them. That’s true.”

  He stared down at his hands. Long fingers, elegant, and more suited for piano playing than being a boy, his mama once said, laughing as she would wipe his hands after he played in the mud or got into some minor trouble.

  When he turned fourteen and all the changes began, she no longer laughed or wiped his fingers when he came into the house, stomping off mud or dirt. Instead she looked at him the way the rest of his family did…

  With fear.

  “It’s also true that they asked me not to go with them. When I made my first shift into wolf, my true nature came out. I’m not an ordinary Lupine, Jenny. I’m…”

  Troy took a deep breath. “Feral. It’s why the Meadowrunners really threw me out. Not because I became violent and broke their laws. It’s because they hired the wrong Lupine for the job. They needed a security guard who would dole out a little fear. Not turn into a feral wolf who could rip out a throat in seconds flat.”

  He didn’t want to talk about it. But Jenny slid her hand over his, her skin warm and her expression trusting.

  “I don’t see you as feral, Troy. You’re pure wolf, through and through.”

  He laughed, the sound bitter. “Not even that. You feel different, Jenny, because you are. So am I. I was born with the gift of extraordinary speed. The Meadowrunners wanted me for that reason. They had the area Fae gift me with even more speed. I reckon I’m on the fastest Lupine alive, on two legs or four. But even that wasn’t enough to evade Tristan.”

  “Please tell me what happened.”

  Caving into her demands wasn’t easy, but this was Jenny. In her own way, she was as unique as him. Troy bit back a snort. Unique.

  Freaks, some would call them.

  “I was with them a few years, no real problems until the alpha and his mate had their baby. I was keeping watch over the nursery about a week after the birth when a Fae showed up in the room. He saw me, I gave him a warning and he fled out the window. The next night, I was ready. Caught him standing over the baby’s crib, his hands wrapped around the baby’s neck.”

  At her harsh intake of breath, his throat tightened. “I had taken a short break to grab water. When I returned the nursery, there was the Fae. I lost control. Threw him across the room and then out the window. I shifted, and then raked claws across his throat. Nearly killed him but for Tristan, who stopped me. The only one who could. I saw him and came to my senses. He told me I’d gone too far and realized I was in deep shit. The Fae wasn’t strangling the baby, but giving him a blessing.”

  “How could you know? You were doing your job!”

  Troy shrugged. “The alphas forgot to tell me about the Fae and how they had access to the pack land. They kicked me out and I left for the woods, but that damn wizard was there waiting for me.”

  Jenny sucked in a breath. “What did he do to you?”

  She looked more concerned and angry than afraid.

  “I ran, but he was always one step ahead of me. So I shifted into a wolf to fight.” Troy scowled. “He forced me to shift back into human form. That’s the kind of power he has, Jenny. Those wizards, they can do anything. Then he forced me onto my
knees before him, stripped me of everything I felt. All the anger, until I felt like a used dishrag. I hated that feeling, Jenny. Anger kept me alive for a long time, kept pushing me forward.”

  Her hand covered his. “I get it.”

  “Tristan warned me next time I lost control would be my last.”

  “But all you were doing is making sure the Fae didn’t hurt the baby.”

  It made his chest hollow to dredge up these bitter memories. He had wanted to climb naked into bed with her, tangling together in passion, not get naked with his past and his mistakes.

  Troy rubbed the back of his neck. “That’s how I saw it, but the Fae didn’t. Neither did Tristan, who said he’d clean up the mess I left because the Fae in that area were powerful, but sensitive and I didn’t want them on my case, or Gideon, the Crimson Wizard who is their guardian. Got the feeling Tristan wanted me to get back on the road. Doesn’t matter. I’d do it again, if it meant keeping to my oath to protect those who can’t defend themselves.”

  She looked at him with admiration flaring in her eyes. Troy wanted that admiration, it warmed him inside, but not for being a feral wolf. He wanted her to feel the same way about him he felt about her.

  They were two lone souls in a world that found them strange and dangerous, Lupines to fear. Not Lupines who would never hurt innocents and used their skills to keep them safe.

  “It’s a harsh world out there, Jenny.” Troy stared at the fire, remembering all the times when he felt he was alone. “When you figure it out, it zigs and zags again. I thought the only life for me was to keep wandering. Lupines weren’t meant to be nomads. We were meant for pack and socializing with our kind. But when you’re like me, it’s hard to find a pack who will accept you for what you are.”

  Her gaze dropped to his hands. “Why did your family really leave, Troy? Being feral isn’t always a bad thing.”

  His guts knotted the way they always did when he thought back to that time. “Not usually. Not unless you do something your family can’t forgive you for, Jenny.”

  “Oh Troy,” she whispered. “You don’t have to tell me. Not if it drags up too much pain.”

  “You deserve the truth. Deserve to know the kind of guy you’ve been running with for all these months.” Troy slid his hand away from hers.

  This would hurt, especially if she looked at him the way his family had after that day… but he wanted no secrets between them.

  “My family was wealthy, hell, that’s putting it mildly. My father had inherited a bundle when his dad died and he doubled it the Skin way – in investing. Our pack was small, only about thirty members, but everyone got along.”

  His expression hardened. “My father was the alpha and made sure of it. He ruled with a hard hand, except with my oldest brother. Then he turned a blind eye.”

  Dredging this up sent a knife into his heart, but he needed to tell her. Jenny needed to know his dark past.

  “I was seventeen and got into a fight with my oldest brother. Winston always was a jerk to me. Six years older and he called me a baby. Always teasing me and doing things when my folks weren’t looking. Kid stuff that I had to put up with, like salting my iced tea. Got worse as I grew older. Once he slit the tires on my bike. The final straw came when he thought it would be funny to toss a firecracker into the metal garbage can just as I lifted the can to take it to the curb.”

  She gasped, but he ignored it. Had to push on telling it, or he’d never get up the courage again.

  “Winston didn’t care that he could have put my eye out. I jumped back but not before I got sparks in my hair, had to roll around to keep my damn hair from catching on fire.”

  He raked a hand through his short hair. “One reason I’ve kept it short since that day.”

  “That was a cruel thing to do!” she cried out.

  “Reckon so, but Lupines revere their eldest sons and heirs. Winston could do no wrong in the eyes of mama and daddy. He was just a little high spirited, my mama always said. Me, I was the one who was wrong.”

  Troy’s guts knotted again and his jaw clenched. “Knew Winston would keep tormenting me, so I showed him a little justice of my own. Took my folks a good half hour to stop the bleeding on his face and throat. They ended up rushing him to a Skin ER. He spent the night in the hospital. They told the attending doc he was in a knife fight.”

  She shook her head. Damn. He hoped she would understand. Maybe not. Maybe his kind were not the kind of Lupines anyone could understand or accept.

  Then to his amazement, she reached over and kissed his cheek. Oh, so soft and warm her lips felt against his chilled skin. Almost like a redemption.

  Acceptance.

  “You did what you had to. Your older brother sounds like a bully, Troy. Bullies need to be put into place. Your parents didn’t do it, so you had no choice!”

  Hellfire, it felt so good to hear those words from her. For years he felt as if he were always the one in the wrong. No one ever took his side before.

  Not until this little spitfire of a Lupine had.

  But she needed to know all of it.

  “I’m violent, Jenny. I can control it now, but not when I was seventeen. My entire family started to fear me. Know what that’s like? To walk into the kitchen for a cold drink and have everyone run away from you? They went to Europe and didn’t leave a forwarding address. The pack followed them. My folks left me a bank account filled with more than two million dollars. I guess that was their way of assuaging their guilt. Especially after my father pointed a shotgun in my face and said if I followed them, he’d shoot me to protect his pack.”

  He stared at his hands again, remembering the last touch of his mama, her soft hand stroking his hair, tears in her eyes as she whispered for him to take good care of himself.

  “I spent some of that money hiring a private detective to find them. I couldn’t believe my own mother would abandon me. Maybe she would change her mind if I promised to, I don’t know, remove my claws or something. Anything. Got an address, sent a letter to my mama. She mailed me a postcard with four words.

  This was harder than he thought. Hadn’t dare think about this in years.

  “What did she say?”

  So soft. Jenny’s voice was so soft and gentle, filled with understanding. Maybe that was why they found each other. Two lost souls who had both lost everything.

  Troy took in a deep breath. “Don’t write me again.”

  Her mouth dropped open. Moisture filled her eyes. Jenny knew, damnit, he hated that she knew exactly how much those four words hurt.

  He rubbed his nape, gave her a rueful smile. “Guess I got my answer. I miss them. But they never missed me. Not living like that. Not afraid of their own flesh and blood turning on them in a savage burst of temper if they said or did the wrong thing.”

  Jenny drew back a little. “The wrong thing? Troy, did you ever attack anyone for no good reason? What about your other brothers and sisters? You told me you had four brothers and two sisters. Tell me, did you ever attack anyone ever than the precious heir Winston?”

  He shook his head.

  “You never had reason to defend yourself, and you did against that … meanie. It’s not your fault for standing up for yourself!”

  A slow grin lifted his mouth. “Meanie?”

  “Well, he was. You deserved better.” Her voice dropped. “You deserved a family who loved you as much as they did everyone else, no matter how different you are.”

  Something inside him eased. She got it. It felt good to have a friend who did and did not criticize or look at him sideways as if she also feared him.

  “You’re not afraid of me,” he murmured, reaching over and putting his hand over hers.

  Jenny blinked hard and wiped her eyes. “How could I be afraid of you? You’re the best friend I ever had, the only guy who ever cared what happens to me.”

  His chest tightened. He felt so damn emotional after spilling his sorry life story, couldn’t fall to pieces now. So he joked instea
d.

  “Not only that, but you could easily kick my ass with your powers if you wanted to.”

  “Damn right I could.” Jenny grinned.

  They laughed.

  Troy glanced outside. Full dark now. He hated leaving her alone here. “I’ll go get our stuff. Stay here and make sure to lock that door and don’t open it until I get back.”

  He reached into his pocket and pulled out the burner phone the ranch kept as spares. “Here. Call me on this if you feel scared or anything threatens you and I’ll be here in a flash. My number’s on speed dial. Number 1.”

  She palmed the phone. “So you sense it as well. Someone or something on this ranch is evil.”

  “We’re not the only ones who do, Jenny. Dale, Aiden, Darius. No one can define it, but it’s out there. They say they’ve never felt anything like it before. There’s an odd undercurrent. Aiden believes it drifted in on the Skins who’ve been trail riding. I don’t know.”

  His jaw tensed. He hated leaving her alone here. In the forest Jenny could run off and shift, defend herself. She seemed more vulnerable here than in the open.

  Troy flipped on the front porch lights. When he opened the door and stepped onto the porch, he stared at the steps. Two packs, his and Jenny’s, rested there.

  A note was attached to his duffel. Troy unfolded it to read the elegant script.

  “Saved you a trip in the dark. Tristan.”

  Tristan. Why would the wizard do them this kind of favor?

  Hell if he knew, but for now, he felt thankful Tristan had. As he went to crumble the note, it vanished.

  “Thanks,” he muttered, picking up the packs.

  Powerful magick, but at least Tristan seemed on their side. For now.

  They spent a peaceful night, well, she did. Jenny slept deeper than she’d had while alone. When she woke, daylight streamed through the bedroom window and Troy was gone.

  Once during the night she’d gotten up to get a drink of water from the kitchen, and saw him on the sofa fast asleep.

  He’d stayed there all night, keeping watch. She’d covered him with a blanket, her heart moved at how innocent he appeared while sleeping, wiry body relaxed, dark hair tousled, rough bristle covering his lean jaw and cheeks.