NOT SO Beautiful: a bay falls high novel

by Kidman, Jaxson

  Ash winked and walked away.

  Of the three, he was the only one who didn’t kiss me.

  And yet he was the one I worried about the most.

  With Them gone, Sarah, Taylor, and Grace came back to the pool.

  “They’re hot but I don’t like the way they act,” Grace said. “I’m sorry for how I reacted when I saw them the first time.”

  “Them,” I whispered.

  “What?” Sarah asked.

  “Them,” I said. “That’s what everyone calls… Them. Them is Them. With a capital T.”

  “There’s much better things I would call them,” Taylor said. “Fuck, I wish I could stay here.”

  “You pissed off the doctor,” Sarah said.

  “Oh yeah,” Grace said. “Wasn’t Belle supposed to…”

  I looked at Taylor and swung the back of my right hand to her mouth.

  She turned and grabbed her face.

  That felt good to do for more than one reason.

  I stepped to the edge of the pool and stared down at the water.

  “Say something, Belle,” Sarah said.

  “I’m wondering if it’s actually possible to drown myself…”

  She and Grace laughed.

  Taylor whispered that I was a fucking bitch.

  But I just stared at the water.

  One way or another I knew I was destined to drown.

  three

  I secretly thumbed the pages of my notebook as I probably looked like I was trying to climb into my locker. Miss Whitaker had given me another assignment. I was her favorite project at the moment it seemed. Only because I was the only one who cared about her class. But I couldn’t be pissed about it. She was cool as anything. I loved talking to her. I loved being near her. She was like Jo… in a sense… just someone I could talk to.

  But not about everything.

  So many times I wanted to talk to her about Uly.

  But I just couldn’t…

  “Are you crying because your friends are gone?”

  I laughed and grabbed my bag.

  I spun around, shutting my locker, and was faced with Lizzy and Danica.

  “Go ahead, get it out of your system,” I said. “Surprised it took you this long to say something.”

  “No, it’s fine,” Lizzy said.

  “Yeah, of course,” Danica said. “I mean you decide to stay but you bring your old friends here with you. Makes sense.”

  “And why would we have wanted to meet your old friends? Right? That would have been dumb.”

  “Oh, totally,” Danica said. She looked at Lizzy. “You’d get jealous.”

  “And you’d make a comment,” Lizzy said to Danica.

  “And then you’d hit someone.”

  “And then you’d jump in too.”

  “And then I-”

  “I get the point,” I said. “Wow. Did you two practice that?”

  “Yeah,” Danica said. “We had nothing to do, remember?”

  I laughed again. “If I’m your only source of entertainment around here then you’re in big trouble. I’m pretty boring.”

  “Boring?” Lizzy asked. “Uh… wait a second. You live in one of the biggest houses around here. If not the biggest. You get to spend time with the crazy and mysterious Dr. Thornburn. You were famous in BFH before stepping through the door because of what Uly did to Ryan. And then you have Hil finishing what Uly started. And then you have Ash doing what he did with Miss Whitaker…”

  “And then,” Danica said with a grin, “you have Miss Whitaker trying to make you famous or some shit. And then you’re in the middle of East vs. West for no good reason at all.”

  “And then you find a way to make Them somehow work their shit out,” Lizzy said. “Boring? How the hell is that boring, Belle?”

  I swallowed hard.

  That was a lot to take in.

  That was a lot to have happen at once.

  I shrugged my shoulders. “I still think I’m boring.”

  “So are the poor bitches gone now for good?” Danica asked.

  I looked at her and curled my lip. “Want to say that again?”

  “Wow, look at who’s jealous here,” Lizzy said.

  “Not jealous,” Danica said. “I’m sorry… I’ll rephrase that. So are your old friends, the poor bitches, gone now for good?”

  I moved toward Danica and she lifted her right fist.

  “Really?” I asked.

  “I’m not afraid to hit back,” Danica said.

  “I’m not afraid to hit first and last,” I said.

  We both smiled at the same time.

  “My friends have gone home,” I said. “I didn’t want to lose… well, Sarah. She’s my best friend. The other two I don’t care about. Grace was weird and horny and then judging. And then Taylor and Hil…”

  “Excuse me?” Lizzy asked. “Hil was there?”

  “Oh shit,” I said. “They showed up. Them. Out of nowhere. To just see me. It was…”

  “Fuck,” Danica said. “This is getting more and more intense.”

  “Shut up,” I said. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

  “Because you like it,” Lizzy said. “You can admit it. You like the attention.”

  I turned my head to Lizzy. “I will hit you.”

  “We warned you,” she whispered. “But we’re your friends.”

  “I don’t need you to do anything,” I said. “I don’t even understand what’s happening. They insist I need to be looked after because of East vs. West.”

  “They want to do more than look after you,” Danica said.

  “Ew,” I said.

  Both Lizzy and Danica laughed.

  “Nobody says ew when it comes to Them,” Lizzy said. “Ever. I can’t stand those guys, but they are fucking beyond ridiculously hot. I’m talking… they make your brain forget anything that feels like reason. It’s like they can make you forget to think with your brain and heart and go straight down between your legs and…”

  I slowly smiled and moved my eyes.

  Lizzy looked back and let out a gasp as Ash stood right behind her.

  Danica’s face turned red just as Lizzy’s did.

  “I… I… I… I…”

  Danica grabbed Lizzy’s arm and pulled her away from Ash.

  As though just the look of Ash was deadly.

  Which it kind of was.

  “I… I…” Lizzy started to say again.

  Danica put her hand over Lizzy’s mouth. “That’s good enough, Lizzy. You did good. You almost said something to Them.”

  “My notebook is in my locker,” I said to Ash. “If you want to steal another page.”

  “I’m not here to steal a page from your notebook, angel,” Ash said.

  “Then what are you here to steal?” I asked.

  Flirting? Like it’s nothing?

  Ash moved closer to me. The look in his eyes… that burning look.

  He was still thinking about what happened with Hil and Uly. And I was still thinking about the way he touched my lip. The way he did not kiss me. Like I had been tainted or ruined. Which shouldn’t have meant anything to me. But secretly it meant everything. I could hide it on the outside that it didn’t bug me if Ash judged me. On the inside it was a different story.

  And speaking of on the inside… Ash standing so close to me in front of anyone who bothered to look (hint - everyone looked at Ash)… the way he looked and smelled. The color of his eyes and the way they matched the tattoos on his arms. But then his clothes were just solid colors. Which worked great for him. It worked so fucking great for him.

  “Came to take you to see the fight,” Ash said.

  “What?”

  “There’s something going down,” Ash said. “Wanted to take you to see it.”

  “She goes, we go,” Danica called out.

  Ash looked at Danica. “Only if your friend can say something besides I…”

  Ash slowly grinned.

  He was so sexy and myster
ious… and maybe with a sense of humor?

  “I… I…” Lizzy shut her eyes and shook her head. When she opened her eyes, she blurted out a different word. “Pussy…”

  She gasped and covered her mouth.

  “Whoa, what is on your mind?” Ash asked her, turning to face her.

  I swallowed down some jealousy of my own.

  The mention of boobs, other parts, or sex, and any one of Them lost their focus.

  “What the hell is wrong with you?” Danica asked Lizzy.

  Lizzy shook her head. “I… that… wait…”

  “See, Ash?” I said. “She can speak other words. And why would I care about some fight?”

  Ash set his eyes back to mine.

  That’s right, motherfucker, don’t look away from me ever again…

  Ash turned and offered me his hand. He grinned.

  “What?” I asked.

  When Ash moved his hand, he only did so to slide it behind my back. To pull me close to him. My body touching his. His body touching mine.

  “Just thought you’d want to see my stupid stepbrother fight someone.”

  * * *

  “Who is Hil fighting? And where? And why?”

  “You’ll see, angel,” Ash said.

  His fingers were interlocked tight with mine.

  I kept looking to make sure it was real.

  That a guy as sexy as Ash was holding my hand the way he was.

  Then again, how many other girls did he do this with? Hold hands… say sweet things… say dirty things… sneak kisses… drive that girl to the edge of the cliff until… you know.

  Which made me think of Gray.

  He was just like that too.

  Only I could see through Gray’s thin veil of bullshit.

  But with Ash… with Them… it felt real.

  That was the worst part of it.

  That it felt real and I liked it.

  “We had a deal,” I said to Ash. “What we give each other?”

  Ash looked down at me. “And what have you given me lately?”

  “You’re the one who walked away like a pissed off little boy.”

  Ash put on the brakes.

  I had hit a nerve.

  I instantly looked back and saw Lizzy and Danica trailing.

  They were too far away though.

  I couldn’t really break away and run to them.

  Not that they would do anything.

  I still couldn’t stop thinking about Lizzy blurting out the word pussy.

  Something touched my face.

  Not something.

  Someone.

  Not someone.

  Ash touched my face.

  Pulling my gaze back to his eyes.

  His right hand covering the left side of my face. His fingers in my hair.

  As his lips touched mine, I let out a sighing whimper.

  That made me grin a second before he kissed me for real.

  And for real was for real…

  I heard both Lizzy and Danica make sounds. A mix of excitement, fear, and jealousy.

  They had no idea what this was like.

  The way Ash’s cologne engulfed me, my hands grabbing at his shirt, then moving to his arms, like I could feel the colors of the tattoos on his arms.

  I tried to pull his hand from my face but there was no use in that.

  So my hand sort of just hung there, grabbing his arm.

  His other hand touched my waist and inched forward and down, flirting with the bottom of my shirt.

  My toes literally started to shiver as I lifted up on them, kissing Ash back as hard as I could. This was not the kind of kiss meant to be had and seen in the middle of the BFH parking lot.

  This was the kind of kiss meant for private. Alone. Quiet. Dark. Near a bed. On a bed… so that what would happen next…

  Ash stopped kissing me and sucked in a deep breath.

  I felt my heart pulsing in my lips.

  But I managed to say, “Better?”

  Ash touched my bottom lip like he did before. He ran his thumb across and slowly nodded.

  “You still owe me a lot of stories, Ash,” I said.

  “And you still owe me a lot more of what you just did… and then some.”

  “I’m not that kind of girl.”

  Ash laughed. “Yes you are, angel. You’ve always been. You just never met the right guy to prove it to you.”

  “And you’re the right guy?” I asked. “What would Hil and Uly think about that?”

  “They already know,” Ash said. “So just be careful where you end up, Belle.”

  I wanted to say something back but me stuttering to find a word gave Ash the chance to take my hand again and lead the way.

  He took us to the baseball field, which left me uneasy.

  I thought it was another bullshit baseball jock thing.

  When I saw the field, I couldn’t help but smile at the sight.

  Hil standing on the pitcher’s mound, talking to Owen.

  Owen was all prim and proper, wearing his athletic clothing, his baseball glove tucked under his arm, rolling a baseball in his left hand. And fucking Hil… in a leather jacket with a white t-shirt under it, a lit cigarette dancing between his lips.

  “He’s going to beat up Owen?” I asked.

  “No,” Ash said.

  I looked around and spotted Uly.

  Sitting on the railing at the bottom of the stands. His left hand gripped tight around the railing, his forearm muscles flexed so tight and hard. Wearing another long sleeve shirt, the sleeves pushed up like always. There was so much left to see…

  Uly looked at me and kissed the air.

  I brought my right hand to my lips, kissed them and tossed it to Uly.

  He put his cigarette between his lips and held his right hand out.

  A few seconds later he closed his hand.

  He smirked as he leaned back and lifted up his shirt.

  I saw a quick flicker of skin but not enough to satisfy my mind.

  Uly stuffed his hand down the front of his jeans.

  I groaned under my breath.

  I wanted to be disgusted with what he wanted to do with my kiss.

  But I wasn’t.

  Not even close.

  “Hey, beauty, there you are!” Hil yelled to me.

  He opened his arms and waved his hands for me to come to him.

  I waved my middle fingers back at him.

  “You love it, angel,” Ash said to me. “And that’s going to end with someone getting hurt.”

  “Worried it’ll be you?” I asked.

  “I don’t get hurt.”

  I looked to the scar on his head. “Doubt that, Ash. You’re so tough… but you’re visible.”

  “Is that right?”

  “The scar,” I said. “You could have your hair anyway you want it. But you want everyone to see the mark on your head. Because you can’t tell if it’s a scar or your hairline. It’s that perfect. Just like your tattoos. They all have meaning. I bet I can read them off one at a time and call it out.”

  Ash hooked one of his fingers through one of the empty belt loops on my jeans and pulled me aggressively toward him.

  He curled his lip.

  I jumped to my toes and kissed his cheek.

  Then I grabbed his wrist and I sank my nails into his skin as hard as I could.

  I wasn’t afraid to push back.

  But I wasn’t trapped here like everyone else.

  I chose to be here. Which meant I could choose to leave.

  I walked away from Ash and crossed over the perfectly green grass of the baseball field. It was sort of cool. I had never been on a baseball field before. Not that I cared about baseball or any sports at all.

  Hil took a drag from his cigarette and then handed Owen the cigarette.

  Owen took it and held it out, carefully pinched between his thumb and pointer fingers, his head tilted away like it was going to explode.

  Fucking pussy jock.

&nb
sp; Hil threw his arms around me like we were old friends (or more) and hadn’t seen each other in months. He picked me up and spun me around.

  When he put me down, I looked back for Uly and Ash.

  Uly just stared. Deadly. Vicious. Pissed.

  Ash looked away.

  I knew the whole thing was going to have no choice but to blow up.

  With me in the middle.

  “Hil, it’s time,” Owen said.

  “Shit,” Hil said. He quickly wiggled out of his leather jacket. He handed it to me. “Keep that safe, beauty.”

  Hil winked and I blushed.

  He took his cigarette back from Owen.

  Owen slowly walked from the pitcher’s mound, head down.

  Aaron and Max appeared, with some other guy sandwiched between them.

  “Hil…”

  He stuck his hand behind him and waved at me. “No worries, Belle. It’s all part of the job.”

  I slowly started to step back.

  When the guy in the middle saw who was waiting for him, he tried to move but Aaron and Max quickly grabbed his arms and picked him up.

  The guy kicked and called for help.

  Hil broke out into a run and caught up to the guy in a couple seconds.

  Without hesitation he made a fist and hit the guy in the face.

  “Now shut the fuck up!” Hil ordered in a voice so deep I thought the ground was going to shake.

  I froze in place, clutching Hil’s leather jacket tight with both hands in front of me.

  Hil backed off and the guy’s nose dripped blood.

  I caught myself breathing heavily.

  Again, it wasn’t the first time I saw someone get their ass kicked.

  But with Them it was different. Everything was all so different.

  “Bring him over here,” Hil said.

  Aaron and Max listened to what they were told to do.

  They brought the guy right to the pitcher’s mound.

  “Let him go,” Hil said.

  Aaron and Max listened again.

  “Now, this is our good friend… Oscar.”

  Hil looked back at me and nodded.

  “You fuckers told me you were letting me pitch today,” Oscar said as he wiped blood off his face.