Mindfulness Made Easy

by Ed Halliwell

  With mindfulness, we become more attuned to the good in our lives, and inspired towards circumstances that bring more joy. Working with the difficult and appreciating the good – these are foundations of resilience. With such qualities, we’re orienting ourselves to attitudes that support and perpetuate skilful living.

  Beyond stress reduction

  People often find that mindfulness brings a life they hadn’t expected. Perhaps they wanted to take a mindfulness course to reduce stress, and then discover that the journey goes beyond mere calming or relaxation. They find themselves engaged in an ongoing and open communion with life, recognizing the destination as unknown, and realizing contentment in the mystery, magic and delight of the journey, with all its inevitable peaks and troughs.

  In mindfulness training, we put our energy into the present moment, and let this be our guide for next steps. The more we can attune in a sensory way, the more we develop an eye, ear, nose, mind, taste and feel for the most appropriate action to take. Mindfulness is associated with greater autonomy and choicefulness, as well as engagement with valued behaviours.10

  Transformation themes – care and compassion

  Because our minds, bodies and circumstances are all unique, there is no one mindful route for us all. Nevertheless, when we enter mindfulness training, a few common themes tend to emerge. Firstly, as we train in good self-care, we’re usually drawn to changes that support this. This may mean looking after our bodies, such as by eating more healthily, or taking more exercise, both of which are linked to greater mindfulness.11 Or it may mean shifting the habits of daily life: stopping smoking or watching less TV, say, or going out to meet friends more often, or taking a class to learn new skills.

  We might begin a search or training for a more satisfying job, or find ourselves giving more time, money or energy to causes that inspire us. We might choose to walk when we can, rather than drive the car, perhaps taking a route that enables us to enjoy being out in nature.

  We might make mental shifts in attitude, such as reminding ourselves to appreciate the large and small wonders of being alive. We might find ourselves noticing the pleasant events or interactions that occur each day. Or perhaps we might focus less on money and possessions as a way to seek happiness – it’s been shown that more mindful people are less materialistic and less image and status-focused, an outlook that’s associated with wellbeing.12

  Mindfulness also trains us in compassion. As we practise being gentle to ourselves, so that attitude of mind seems naturally to expand to others. As we incline the mind to be kind (such as by acknowledging wandering and gently returning to attention), so it tends to begin offering kindness to whatever and whoever its attention falls upon.

  With insight into patterns of mind and body, we can better understand the struggles of others. Deeply, we realize the shared hardships of being human, and this understanding itself can be healing, and not just for ourselves. This may be why, in a study of trainee therapists, the clients of meditators experienced a greater reduction in symptoms.13 Similarly, employees of more mindful leaders experience greater wellbeing, as well as performing better in their jobs.14

  Appreciating how perceptions get skewed, we understand more how conflicts arise. With the skills of clear seeing growing within us, we may become more artful in our communication and behaviour. We may realize that one of the best ways to happiness is to offer compassion to others.

  This doesn’t mean rolling over to unreasonable demands – indeed, sometimes the most compassionate thing we can do is to stand our ground – but can we do so with a tender heart? As our attitude of care affects those around us, aren’t they more likely to trust and exhibit care for us too? Research seems to suggest that co-operative behaviours are contagious.15 This is the road to collective wellbeing.

  Experiencing the fixed, isolated self as illusion, we naturally find ourselves setting on a course to benefit the whole, rather than being out just for me and mine. We don’t even need a return of generosity to experience benefits from kindness – studies have found that the act of giving money to others makes people happier than spending it on themselves.16 An attitude of altruism is enough to bring benefits to happiness and health.17

  We may decide more actively and explicitly to cultivate a range of mindful approaches. We might choose to practise cheerfulness, perhaps making an intention to smile more often. Smiling, it turns out, leads to quicker recovery from stressful situations, a lower heart rate and better mood, as well as heightened feelings of pleasure.18 We may prefer not to join in with gossip, cynicism, hot-headedness or judgementalism.

  We might decide to keep a gratitude diary, writing down each day the things we appreciate. This practice has been shown to improve mood, happiness and life satisfaction, and decrease symptoms of depression.19 Or we might decide to spend more time walking in green spaces, enjoying the benefits of physical exercise and connecting with awe at the amazing world we live in – another habit that’s correlated with wellbeing.20

  We could choose to expose ourselves less to gloomy or harsh perspectives. We may decide to read or watch the news a bit less, knowing that repeated exposure to the selective, and predominantly negative, drama of the headlines will feed both unpleasant emotions and the cognitive distortions that can perpetuate them. At the same time, we may find ourselves inclined to work for change to unjust situations and systems that cause suffering. By consciously fostering practices and attitudes that lead to collective wellbeing, we’re training ourselves in a wise and loving perspective, and offering it out to others.

  Ethical living

  This means leaning in to ethical living. Mindfulness doesn’t happen in a value-free vacuum. In some traditions, meditation practice only begins after a student has spent time working on the conduct that will make it most effective. This might include making commitments to protect life, cultivate generosity, practise good conduct in family, friend and work relationships, engage in truthful, inspiring, non-violent speech, and only partaking of non-toxic food, drink and media.21

  Mindful ethics come not from an ideological or moral standpoint, but from the understanding that how we live affects our state of mind and body, and so the capacity for happiness and rich relationships. It’s difficult, if not impossible, to develop mindfulness if we’re continuing to put our energy into harmful activities. A bit of mindfulness isn’t going to make much difference when our general motivation and practice is mindlessness – by continuing to train in unskilful thought and behaviour, we’ll be reinforcing unhelpful habits.

  We’ll also likely be caught in the consequences of our actions, further heightening stress. Chances are, we won’t feel so good, and neither will those around us. With an unbalanced mind and an unbalanced life, we’ll be prone to poor decisions that swamp us further in difficulty.

  If we can employ awareness in the service of ethical behaviour, our training can help us move mindfully in each domain of life. By tuning in to the nature and effects of our thinking, feeling and acting, and cultivating the steadfastness and space to refrain from unskilful deeds and open to and encourage wiser choices, we’re freed up to notice what leads to a happy life, and given the tools to create it for ourselves and those around us.

  Science seems to be showing that happiness is nurtured by actions such as taking physical exercise, committing to ongoing learning, fostering strong social connections, and practising generosity.22 By experimenting with these approaches mindfully, and noticing what happens, we can test them in the laboratory of life.

  Does how we look after our bodies and minds affect wellbeing? Do we and others feel and respond better when we’re kind? When we’re living, working and communicating from a compassionate perspective, does this lead to better circumstances? Does it help in our relationships?

  By approaching suggestions for ethical living as invitations to be explored, rather than rules to be obeyed, we allow ourselves to tune in to and respond from a deep sense of purpose, rather than the internal slave-drive
r who tries to govern with ‘shoulds’ and ‘shouldn’ts’. As well as freeing us from the tyranny of self-judgement, in which we’re blamed and shamed into an imposed view of right and wrong, this gentler approach offers a greater chance of fulfilling our aspirations, because it comes from and is tested in our own experience.

  * * *

  Practice: The three-step breathing space, with action step

  We’ve been practising the breathing space as a way of tuning in to the present moment and working with difficult thoughts, sensations and circumstances. It can also be explored as a first step to skilful action.

  First, let’s remember the three steps of the breathing space as we’ve been practising it so far.

  Step one: Acknowledging

  Adopt a confident, gentle, dignified posture, and tune in to your experience – thoughts and sensations as they’re happening now. Let them be known, without having to do anything about them.

  Step two: Gathering

  Let go of thoughts and sensations, and bring your attention to the breath. Follow the in- and out-breath for a while.

  Step three: Expanding

  Opening up to a wider field, let internal and external phenomena be known in choiceless awareness. Practise just being with whatever’s here, letting go of judgement and coming back to spaciousness when the attention narrows in to a smaller focus.

  The action step

  At this point, there are a number of choices we might explore.

  Step four (a)

  Having dropped into mindfulness, notice shifts in your perspective. It may be enough – or all that’s possible for now – to experience from a space of awareness, with mindfulness of breathing as a way of grounding. Or you can practise a more open awareness, noticing thoughts as just thoughts, sensations as just sensations, and circumstances as part of the ever-changing flow of life events.

  You could remind yourself that ‘this too shall pass’. Perhaps no further action is required? If stress or difficulty has arisen, you could practise moving towards it, connecting courageously and compassionately with sensations and thoughts as they appear in the moment, reminding yourself that it’s okay to let them arise, be known, and pass through in kindly awareness.

  Step four (b)

  As we tune in to our situation with the breathing space, it may seem that mindful action is required. Checking that the choice to ‘do’ comes from the space of discerning awareness, rather than a reactive habit, you could heartfully inquire: ‘How can I best take care of things right now? What would be a wise and compassionate response to this situation?’ Allow yourself to see the whole picture of the situation – your own perspective and also that of any others involved.

  Listen to answers that arise from within. If any seem practical and sensible to follow through, explore them from a place of conscious presence. Be willing to change or stay the course, taking into account the ongoing internal and external feedback you receive. If no clear answers come, respect the space of ‘no answers yet’, waiting with patience for a more auspicious time.

  Step four (c)

  Without denying the difficult, trying to force positivity, or pushing for pleasure that isn’t available, allow yourself to open to and drink in enjoyable sights, sounds, feelings, tastes and smells. Evidence suggests that holding emotionally stimulating experiences in awareness leads to increases in neural activity and stronger memory traces of the event.1

  By more consciously appreciating pleasant events as they appear, and turning our attention towards what we find nurturing, we may be flavouring our implicit memories – tilting our perspective towards contentment – and calibrating away from negativity bias.

  Can you appreciate having food to eat, air to breathe, a body and mind to experience with? Can you appreciate this moment of being alive? The act of appreciating itself may generate feelings of wellbeing.

  Step four (d)

  Experiment with actions that are known to be helpful – taking exercise, meeting friends, connecting with nature, or writing a gratitude list. Ask yourself: what might be the most ethical response to this situation?

  Remember to consider care for yourself and others in your contemplation. What action, if any, best expresses your deepest values? Listen to your wise mind and body, remembering that sometimes the most skilful response is to do nothing, or stay present and wait for inspiration to occur.

  * * *

  Training in kindness

  Compassion is implicit in every moment of mindfulness. By returning to awareness gently when we notice the mind has wandered, bringing a warm-hearted acceptance to thoughts and sensations, we’re strengthening our capacity for kindness.

  Just like attention itself, the attitude with which we attend is trainable. By explicitly cultivating compassion, we’re opening the gift of benevolence, which lets us live life with loving eyes. Our interpretations of events may become softer and more generous. Further opening to a sense of connection, we’re perhaps more able to feel and appreciate our own and others’ difficulties (without being overwhelmed by them), relating with empathy and understanding.

  By experiencing situations with kindness, we feel less resistant to or irritated by them. By offering compassion to others, we’re reducing the likelihood of interpersonal conflict, allowing a warm space in which people can heal and thrive. It’s more likely in this space that others will find it in themselves to be kind, although we can’t rely on this to happen. If we need to take decisions that others won’t like, we can allow these to come from a place of deep mutual interest.

  Practising kindness is strongly linked to wellbeing. Programmes that train compassion through meditation are associated with increases in emotions such as awe and gratitude,23 reduced depressive symptoms and greater life satisfaction,24 as well as greater connectedness with others.

  In tests of generosity, participants trained in compassion are more likely to help those in need.25 They become less upset when exposed to stressful situations and have reduced levels of interleukin-6, a chemical implicated in both stress and a range of major health conditions such as heart disease, diabetes and some cancers.26

  * * *

  Practice: Loving-kindness meditation

  Here are some guidelines for cultivating compassion through a practice called loving-kindness meditation, which is often taught alongside mindfulness. Loving-kindness practice explicitly cultivates the compassion that’s implied in all mindfulness training.

  Take a dignified posture as previously described, and practise mindfulness of breathing for a while. Allow some time and space for dropping into ‘being’.

  Bring to mind someone who has been kind to you, and for whom you feel gratitude. Visualizing them in front of you, recall the ways they’ve helped you. Let any feelings be experienced in your body (without trying to force them). Seeing the goodness in this person, say to them mentally: May you be safe, may you be free from suffering, may you experience peace. Use other phrases if they feel more true for you – the words aren’t as important as the sentiment you offer. (Other possibilities include: May you enjoy wellbeing, may you be free from harm, may you be happy, may you be healthy, or may you be released from stress.)

  Let the words come, as best you can, from your whole being, rather than just from the thinking mind. Feel their energy within you. If you like, imagine giving the person a hug as you send them good wishes. It doesn’t matter if what you’re doing feels awkward or inauthentic – treat this as an experiment and remember, whatever comes up is okay.

  When you feel ready, let the image of the benefactor fade, and bring to mind a friend or family member for whom you feel love. It’s a good idea to choose someone for whom your love is uncomplicated and heartfelt, rather than tinged with desire or resentment. Offer this person your good wishes too, gently repeating the same or similar phrases as before. You might like to imagine embracing the loved one. Let whatever feelings come up be experienced. If at any point during the practice you feel overwhelmed, it’s okay to drop
the visualization and return to mindfulness of breathing or stop. Explore the practice gently.

  Now imagine that it’s you appearing in your mind’s eye. Experiment with offering yourself the same sense of loving-kindness, as a person worthy of compassion and care. Open to this sense of warm-heartedness towards your own being. Repeat the same or similar phrases silently to yourself: May I be happy, may I be healthy, may I be at peace. If you experience resistance, notice and be interested in this, as best you can without buying into opinions about it. You might like to recall kind or generous things that you’ve done in the past, or qualities about yourself that you like. If none come up, or you feel guilt or disappointment or another difficult emotion, know this is not a failure or a problem – experiment with observing without attachment, returning perhaps to mindfulness of body for a time. When the mind wanders away, acknowledge this gently and return to the visualization, or the phrases, or the feeling of what’s happening.

  Now call to mind someone for whom your feelings are generally neutral. Perhaps someone who you don’t know so well – such as an acquaintance you see occasionally, but for whom there’s no strong liking or disliking. See that this person too is a human being, vulnerable to the stresses of life. Like everyone, they want to be happy, and like everyone, they sometimes make mistakes. Practise wishing them happiness, health and safety as they journey through existence.