The Planet Dweller

by Jane Palmer

  ***

  Had Eva realised where Diana was, it might have dented even her equilibrium. Having stood by the fairy ring long enough to make Moosevan understand that their contact should be much closer than from opposite sides of infinity, Diana had been allowed to enter that misty tunnel that had swallowed Yuri. No perfumed blanket of ardour for her, just an efficient snatch into emptiness and sudden jolt as she landed.

  Oddly, Diana couldn’t remember anything in between, and fortunately knew nothing of the forces involved in making the trip possible. She did know that the moving porridge of prickly particles she had landed in had laddered her tights in three different places.

  Drawing in a lungful of air with surprise and annoyance, she bellowed, ‘Not funny, Moosevan!’

  Moosevan immediately sensed her anger, even if she found her words incomprehensible. With a less passionate sigh than she might have used for Yuri, the larger of the females unrolled a thick mattress of gossamer seed heads and deposited that under her visitor instead. From being pricked all over, Diana was now coated with enough fluff to make her resemble a snow woman. She sneezed uncontrollably as it was drawn up her nose.

  ‘Cut it out, will you!’ she spluttered in rage. ‘Get me out of here, you lump of astral debris.’

  Thoroughly disorientated, sneezing, and looking as though she had just escaped from an exploded mattress, Diana thankfully found solid ground under her feet. A light breeze picked the seeds from her one by one, while her thoughts churned in annoyance.

  As the mental ferment subsided, the mellow, appealing tones of Moosevan could be recognised, ‘Are you well?’

  Although her tongue was not going to make the reply, Diana had to spit out a mouthful of seeds before being able to think, ‘That wasn’t funny.’

  ‘Funny?’ queried Moosevan. ‘What is funny?’

  ‘Forget it. I don’t suppose you do get to hear many good jokes out here.’ Diana gave up and looked about her. It was difficult to believe Moosevan when she had described herself as just an ordinary planet. She was a planet all right, but certainly not ordinary. The glowing reds and purple of the vegetation engulfing her could only belong to a very passionate planet.

  ‘You will not run away as well?’ Moosevan inquired tentatively.

  ‘In these shoes?’ laughed Diana. ‘Didn’t I go through that mangle and fluff bath just to see you ... or a bit of you anyway - As well as who?’ Moosevan sighed heavily. ‘Oh come on, who else have you snatched?’ Before Moosevan was persuaded to reply she realised. ‘Yuri! I should have known. What did you want him for?’

  ‘He is pleasant to sense. His touch pleases me.’

  ‘Oh, Jesus,’ whispered Diana. ‘A passionate planet.’ Then to Moosevan, ‘You can’t have him, you know. Humans don’t keep as long as planets.’

  ‘When I have been driven out, I will cease to exist. I will replace him long before that happens. I will not let him come to harm.’

  ‘Cease to exist?’

  ‘You have told me what would happen to your world if the parts of my new body were to reassemble.’

  ‘I couldn’t remember. I didn’t realise I was aware of it,’ apologised Diana.

  ‘You slept heavily. I took the message from deep in your mind,’ said Moosevan.

  ‘Thank God. I don’t think I could have explained it while conscious.’

  ‘I do not want to destroy your world. I no longer have the right to claim any part of it.’

  ‘There must be some way out of this without blowing up the Earth?’

  ‘No, though there is another way you can help me.’

  ‘What’s that?’ asked Diana, wondering what she could do to help a planet.

  ‘The small creature I took will not speak to me. I do not know why. I tried to reassure him, yet he runs and runs...’

  ‘Then leave him alone,’ Diana told her.

  ‘Leave him?’ Moosevan sounded reluctant.

  ‘You sprang quite a surprise on him. As he accepted your invitation into the ring, it meant the fascination is mutual. He just didn’t know his galactic girlfriend was going to turn out to be a planet. Give him time to get used to the idea. Keep quiet and see what he does.’

  ‘What will he do?’ asked Moosevan.

  ‘Human nature is a strange and complex thing. There isn’t time to explain it. Just believe me.’

  ‘If you are right, I will do all I can to prevent those creatures from repairing the accretion machine which will destroy your world.’

  That gave Diana a jolt worse than her arrival. ‘What creatures?’

  ‘I do not know,’ Moosevan replied carelessly, ‘I just felt one. It seems to be tunnelling into my crust...’ Then she lost interest. ‘Tell me about this planet you live on. Has it a being like me?’

  ‘There isn’t time. This is urgent. Tell me about these creatures?’

  ‘They are probably the Old Ones. They made the machine that can help me pass from one body to another. Do not worry. I will not let them reach its control.’

  ‘You don’t sound sure.’

  ‘Sure?’ murmured Moosevan. ‘So few things have bothered me for so long. Sure? Urgent? What do these things mean?’

  ‘They mean I am going to stay here until the last second to make sure these creatures are aware how urgent this situation is.’

  ‘That would be dangerous,’ Moosevan warned. ‘You are so delicate.’

  ‘Don’t remind me of that!’ snapped Diana.

  ‘What is wrong?’

  ‘Didn’t you feel my hot flushes?’

  ‘I don’t think there is anything wrong with you now.’

  Diana felt relieved. Even if she was going to be killed at any moment, the combat she had been having with her hormones could well be over. Whether this was something to be elated about under the circumstances, she wasn’t quite sure.