by Chris Zett
Emily stopped fiddling with the rest of the keys and looked up. “You’re welcome. Really.”
“And when you’re back and we have survived the next month, let’s meet for dinner or something. You could bring Lena too.” Diana took Emily’s hand while she talked in the casual way couples did without conscious thought.
Jess had never been a touchy-feely person, but she had to admit it looked kind of nice. “I can’t answer for Lena, but I’ll tell her. Dinner is a great idea, and it’ll be on me. As a thank you.” And the idea of sharing dinner with Lena and another couple sounded nice too. Wait, not another couple, just a couple and a pair of friends.
She’d better leave before they planted any more of these mushy thoughts in her head.
Chapter Fourteen
“What are you doing here?” Although lacking any malice, Jess’s gentle teasing still pushed the wrong button today.
Tears burned in Lena’s eyes before she could prevent them. She jumped up from the bench between the garage and the main house and pressed half of the mail into Jess’s hands. “For your mother.” Then she strode as fast as she could without running toward the garden house.
“Hey, Lena.” Jess was next to her in a few seconds. “What’s happened?”
Shaking her head, Lena looked down and walked on. “Nothing.”
“Okay,” Jess said doubtfully, keeping pace with her. “I wanted to thank you.”
“What for?”
“Your mental tai chi trick helped me find some calm when I sorely needed it.”
“I’m glad for you.” Lena attempted a smile but failed miserably. “I don’t think tai chi will pay my bills or… Never mind.”
“Bad news? Can I help?” Jess pointed to the crumpled letters Lena still clutched in her fist.
“I don’t want your money.” Borrowing money from someone to repay a loan was a vicious circle.
“Maybe I can help you find another solution. Or at least listen to you complain about it. God knows you’ve listened to too many of my problems already.” The care in Jess’s voice almost broke her will.
How long had it been since she’d shared her burden with someone? Even as a teenager, she’d often kept her own counsel; she hadn’t wanted to burden her grandma, and her mother hadn’t cared enough to ask.
“One letter is about a loan. I think I can handle that if I pick up some extra massage work in the evenings.”
“More work? Don’t you earn enough money with all the double shifts at the café?”
Lena held up the letters. Creases marred both, but her attempt to smooth them proved futile. “Obviously not. At minimum wage it takes ages to pay anything back.”
“Oh. I hadn’t thought of that.”
“I guess you haven’t had to work for minimum wage.”
“No, you’re right. I’m sorry.”
“Nothing to be sorry about. You had the brains and the opportunity and got the right education. I chose to support my fucked-up mother instead of going to college, and now she’s writing to me from prison, demanding even more money.” Oh shit. Had she just said that out loud? She swallowed. By the raw burning in her throat, she must have screamed it. Shit, shit, shit.
“Prison?” Jess whispered the word as if it was some dirty secret.
Yeah, she had said it. Lena squared her shoulders and met Jess’s gaze. If she had to face Jess’s disdain, she would do it head on. “Yes. My mother is in prison for theft and fraud.”
“I’m so sorry for you. That must be hard.” Jess lightly squeezed her arm. Her hand lingered, and Lena soaked up the warmth like a freezing person who had stumbled in from a snowstorm.
Disarmed, Lena didn’t know how to answer. She had been prepared for contempt, for rejection, for being shunned out of this new life she’d started. Not for the compassion softening Jess’s expression. She nodded, and tears welled up again. No one had ever acknowledged it was difficult for her too.
Before Lena could explain anything, Jess pulled her into an embrace.
Lena breathed in the faint scent of baby lotion clinging to Jess’s shirt as strong arms enveloped her like a comforting blanket.
She couldn’t hold back any longer. And she didn’t even know if she wanted to. Tears streamed from her eyes, and a sob broke from her depths.
“It’s okay.” Jess pressed her closer. “Let go.”
And she did. As if a dam had broken, she couldn’t contain her pain any longer. She sobbed until everything washed away. The only reason she wasn’t carried away with the flood was Jess, whose calm presence anchored her. Even if Lena did get swept away, she knew Jess would come after her.
An eternity later, her tears had run dry, and she slowly regained awareness of her surroundings. She had soaked Jess’s shirt. And crumpled it. “I’m sorry.” She tried to remove the creases with her hand.
Jess stopped her futile movements, pressing Lena’s captured hand against the area she’d been rubbing. Beneath Jess’s right shoulder. At the swell of her breast.
Oh. Lena had been rubbing her breast.
Heat shot to her cheeks, and the embarrassment she’d felt after crying escalated to mortification. “I’m sorry,” Lena said again. It still wasn’t enough.
“Hey, don’t be. I’m glad I could be there for you, even if I only provided a shoulder.” Jess gently squeezed her hand before letting go. “Do you want to talk about any of it? The loan? Your mother?”
Lena shook her head, not trusting her voice. She pulled back her hand and reluctantly severed the connection to Jess.
“But please tell me if I can do anything for you.” Jess’s gaze searched Lena’s eyes. The brilliant blue held no hint of disdain or reluctance.
This time, Lena forced herself to speak. “Thank you. Really. But I need to do this on my own.”
“Okay. But whenever you want to talk, I’m here for you.” A grin broke through Jess’s concern like the first hints of color after a bleak night. “Do you want to hear some good news?”
“Oh, yes, your checkup! Is your heart doing better? And how’s Mrs. Jameson?” As if it was infectious, Lena couldn’t help grinning with her.
“Mrs. Jameson is fine. At least for now. And, yes, my heart’s much better, but that’s not what I meant. I ran into Diana at the hospital, and she told me the blackberries at her vacation house are overflowing and she needs someone to pick them all. We can go anytime.” Jess beamed proudly.
“Oh.” Not one but three pieces of good news. Great even. “Thank you.” Maybe the universe was still working on its balance and everything would even out eventually.
“May I sit with you for a bit?” Maggie carried a tray that held two glasses and a pitcher of tea with large ice cubes and mint leaves.
Lena hastily gathered the pencils and pens that had taken over most of the surface of the small wooden table. “Please. It’s your garden.”
“I didn’t want to interrupt your sketching, but you looked as if you could use some refreshment.” Maggie put down the tray with a sigh and poured them each a glass. Then she sat down, took off the giant straw hat she always wore in the garden, and fanned herself with it.
The slight movement of the air was welcome, even if it barely reached Lena’s side. When had the temperature risen? At least the walnut tree still provided enough shade for the table and both chairs.
“Thank you. That looks perfect.” The tall glass was cool, and Lena held it against her cheek before she took a sip. “Ah, this is delicious. And you didn’t interrupt anything important. I just had some unexpected time on my hands. The café rescheduled my shift.” She sighed. “They mixed up the schedule and don’t need me today.”
“Again?” Maggie’s brows wrinkled. “That doesn’t seem fair. Are they at least paying you? You kept the day free for them.”
“Pay? Why would they?” Lena snorted at the idea. “And e
ven if they wanted to, they couldn’t. They barely make ends meet as it is.” She suspected there hadn’t been a scheduling conflict but the owners had decided to either do some extra shifts themselves or had found someone willing to work for even less than she did. “I guess I have to look for another job soon.”
“Oh!” Maggie grinned and clapped her hands together. “That’s wonderful!”
“Wonderful?” Had Lena missed the sarcasm in her voice? She couldn’t see anything wonderful apart from the fact she had the morning off. And she’d rather be working on reducing her debt.
“Of course I’m sorry they treat you like that at the café, but I have to admit I had another reason for coming out here apart from the tea. I heard back from my publisher, and I have the go-ahead for the next book: History of Gardening in the Pacific Northwest.” A proud smile appeared on Maggie’s face. “They already paid me an advance.”
“Congratulations.” Lena smiled with her. She didn’t see how that related to her news, but she was happy for Maggie. “What do you want to do for a celebration? Should I bake a cake?”
“Oh, no. It’s much too hot to bake. But I have a proposition for you.”
Lena smiled at the phrasing. Maggie probably needed help carrying a big bag of mulch or some decorative stones. She took another large gulp of the tea, then packed her sketching equipment into the soft leather roll her grandma had given her. “What can I do for you?”
“To include everything I want in the book, I need help. I can’t do it all on my own: gardening, research, typing, sorting my notes.”
Lena thought about it. Not if she would help—that was a given—but when. She had time today, and she was sure she could squeeze in a couple of hours here and there. As much as she liked their evening walks, maybe she would have to let Jess go alone for a few weeks. “Of course I’ll help you garden so you have time for the rest. But I might have to do some work in the evenings after I’ve finished my shifts. Or I could start now.” She looked at her watch. “I have until six, when I have my next massage appointment.”
“No, I don’t need your help gardening.” Maggie grinned. “Well, I sometimes do, but I thought you could work with me on all of it. As my assistant. I can pay you with my advance, and you would have steady income and a reliable job for at least a year, maybe longer. I have no idea what the café pays, but I’d offer you the same rate I paid my assistants when I was teaching at the university.”
Lena stared at her. Assistant? With regular work hours? “But I don’t have any experience.” Her mouth was parched as if she hadn’t had a drink a moment ago. With shaking hands, she refilled her glass. A drop of tea splashed on her sketch of the flower bed, blurring the lines. She was too confused to care. “And I would help you anyway. You don’t need to pay me.” The moment she said it, Lena wanted to take it back. She could use the extra money. But what she’d said was true, and she’d help in any way she could.
“Well, I know I don’t have to…but I’d love to. My main requirements for an assistant are that we get along well, that they love to learn, and that they have a good work ethic. You are more than qualified on all points. I love your enthusiasm when you learn something new about a plant and how much you concentrate to get every detail of each drawing just right, even if it takes you several attempts. You don’t cut corners to get the work done, and that’s what I need most. We’ll figure out the rest together. Okay?”
“Okay.” Half a dozen questions about the details popped up in her mind, but none were a deal breaker. And she’d rather work with Maggie on whatever project she needed than run around the café all day. But following her heart and not her brain had led her to where she was today: no education to speak of, working three jobs, and struggling with debt. So this time she’d proceed a little cautiously. “I’d love to work with you. Would it be okay if I kept on selling my preserves at the farmers market? I would make the hours up to you in the afternoon and evening.”
Maggie sipped her tea and smiled. “Certainly. It pains me to see you stretching yourself thin in every direction, but I won’t keep you from it. But you don’t need to work in the evening to make up for anything. We’ll plan around your schedule.”
Lena blinked. Was there a catch? Or worse, was this some kind of charity project? Had Jess told Maggie about Lena’s financial problems? She studied Maggie’s expression. Open, relaxed, friendly. Not at all judgmental, condescending, or pitying. Even if Maggie knew about her financial problems, this offer was too good not to accept. She smiled reluctantly. “Thank you. I’m really looking forward to working with you. When do we start?”
“Tomorrow? Wait, no, tomorrow is a market day. See how easy this is?” Maggie winked. “Friday morning? You take today off to relax and sketch or do whatever you want to do.” Maggie finished the last of her tea and started to get up.
That Maggie remembered her schedule filled Lena with gratitude. “Friday it is. But I think I’ve sketched enough for today. Can I help you with the garden? What are you working on today?”
That wasn’t strictly true; she’d never get tired of sketching. But she needed time to think, and planting or watering the garden was the perfect task to let her mind wander.
The sight of Lena sitting on the wall behind the garage brought a smile to Jess’s face. She pushed the stroller faster. “Hey, what are you doing here?”
Laughing, Lena hopped down to join her. “Waiting for a cute girl to come and pick me up.”
Whoa. Had Lena called her cute? Grateful for the twilight that hid her confusion, Jess searched for a comeback.
“Hi, Ella, how is my cutest girl?” Lena stepped closer and leaned over Jess’s shoulder to peer inside the stroller even though it was too dark to make out Ella’s features.
Ella cooed and gurgled. Lena seemed satisfied with the response and looked up at Jess. “And hi to you too.”
A faint floral scent drifted over, and Jess smiled. She had missed this. For two evenings in a row, Lena hadn’t been able to accompany Jess on her walks. She’d kept to her usual route and tried to soak up the peace and quiet of the neighborhood and the park. As always, the birds had sung, and the flowers had scented the evening air, but Jess hadn’t enjoyed it quite as much without company. Maybe because she wasn’t too happy alone with her thoughts and the doubts that snuck in from time to time.
“You’re so quiet. Is it okay for me to join you on your walk?”
“Oh, sorry. Of course it is. I was just thinking about that actually. It’s been kind of boring the last two nights without you.”
“I would have preferred to be with you too. But I had already scheduled massage clients. At least they were both couples so I didn’t have to work as much myself.”
A warm tingling ran down Jess’s spine as she remembered Lena’s hands on her. Don’t go there. Think about something unsexy. Like work. “Um…Mom said she offered you a job?”
Lena elbowed her in the side. “As if you didn’t know. I’m still undecided if I should be mad at you or grateful.”
“What?” Jess stopped. “Why would you be mad at me?”
“I’m not mad. I’m just…” Lena frowned and looked down. Her fingers played with one of the long strings that hung down from the open neck of her blouse. The neckline revealed skin that glowed golden in the evening light. Just a hint of collarbone peeked out.
Jess directed her eyes back to Lena’s face. That was safer.
Lena hadn’t noticed. She was still regarding her feet with a thoughtful expression.
“It’s okay. If I did something stupid or aggravating or whatever, please tell me. I’m past the point where I want to intentionally annoy you, and I’m sorry if I did.” Jess continued walking, keeping her eyes to the front. Sometimes talking about something emotional was easier if you didn’t have to face the other person. Jess had never felt the need to hide; she usually didn’t care what the other person thought. Bu
t Lena seemed to care, sometimes too much.
“No, it’s my fault. I didn’t ask you not to tell Maggie. And you’re under no obligation to keep secrets for me.” Lena was still talking in riddles, but at least she was talking.
“I’m sorry, but what secret did I reveal?” She couldn’t think of any, and when she talked to her mom about Lena, she was careful to let her do most of the talking so she didn’t get a hint about Jess’s feelings. The last thing she needed was her mom noticing she found Lena attractive. She would only start to meddle in her well-intentioned mom way.
“About my financial problems. Maggie knew some already, but she didn’t offer me a job before. I guess it’s her way of helping me. And I am grateful, but still…I would have liked to remain her friend and not her charity case.”
“Whoa. Stop right here.” Jess engaged the brake so the stroller wouldn’t move on its own. She reached for Lena’s hands with both of hers. “I didn’t talk to my mom about what happened on Monday. Apart from a conversation weeks ago when I first started living here, we haven’t talked about your financial situation or any jobs. And I can’t believe she offered you the job as a charity situation. That’s not like her at all. She takes her books seriously. Didn’t she say why she offered it to you?”
Lena squirmed but didn’t pull her hands away. Tears glittered in her eyes. “She said she trusted my work ethic and likes to spend time with me. That’s why she wants to have me as her assistant. But I don’t have a degree or any experience and—”
“No. If my mom says she hired you because she trusts you, that’s the main reason. Are you taking the job because of the money?”
“No!” Lena’s curls flew from side to side. “I even offered to help her for free. I love helping Maggie with her work. She’s taught me so much already, and I enjoy spending time with her.”
“See, that’s the reason she offered it to you.” Jess squeezed the hands that still rested in hers. The contact was meant to soothe and reassure Lena, but somehow it did the same for her, and Jess didn’t even know why she should be anxious.