Arms of Grace

by Eleanor Chance

  I took a few deep breaths, letting what Paul said sink in. The idea of the media hounding Jay, wherever he was, made me smile. They wouldn’t give up until they found him. He’d had his chance to help them and come clean, but he’d blown it. He was going to pay for what he’d done.

  “I hope you’re right,” I said, “but that was a big risk to take. It’s going to get ugly once they start digging. I hope I can count on you to do a better job running interference than you did today.”

  “I will; trust me. This will be the best thing in the end. You’ll see.”

  I gave a slight nod and picked up my purse again. Alec and I left the men to talk strategy, and we headed back upstairs. Ryan was sitting on a chair in the hallway outside Johnny’s room when we got there and stood as we approached. I’d forgotten about him in the excitement.

  “I’m so sorry, Ryan. I hope you haven’t been waiting long. Things got out of hand at the press conference,” I said and shook his hand.

  “I’ve heard the buzz from here. What happened?” he asked, still grasping my hand.

  “Long story. Can we talk about it later? I want you to meet Johnny first,” I said, reluctantly pulling my hand free.

  “I’ve already been in to see him. He’s sleeping now, but he was all smiles when I went in. Hard to believe he’s the same child I saw yesterday. To be honest, I thought he’d be gone by now. Shows what I know. I’ve never been happier to be wrong,” he said.

  “Even with all our medical knowledge, it’s impossible to predict what will happen. I wonder how many people have had the plug pulled when they were a day, or even hours, away from waking up,” I said. The thought broke my heart. Even though I knew that removing life support was the right decision for the sake of some patients, I cringed to think of how often medicine may have gotten it wrong.

  Alec cleared her throat. “These questions are too big to tackle now. Grace, let’s go pick up your things now since Johnny’s asleep. Maybe he’ll be awake when we get back.”

  “Ryan, you remember my friend Alec from yesterday,” I said. “She’s my other guardian angel. I told her the truth about what happened at the river.”

  “We’re more than best friends,” Alec said, shaking Adam’s hand. “We’re sisters. I’ll always be in your debt for bringing her back to me.”

  Ryan shifted his feet. “I’m honored to have a small part in this. I’m glad Grace has someone like you in her life,” he said, glancing at me.

  “Do you mind if I talk to Ryan for a few minutes before we go?” I asked Alec.

  “No, that’s fine. I’ll check to see if Johnny needs anything else. See you in a few,” she said and went into Johnny’s room.

  Chapter Seventeen

  I led Ryan down the hall to a small chapel. I was relieved that it was empty. We sat on a pew near the back. He watched me from the corner of his eye. He started to fidget and was about to get up, but I put my hand on his arm to stop him.

  He relaxed and said, “Well? You told Alec you wanted to talk to me.”

  “I’m not sure how to start,” I said, moving my hand to my lap. “Do you grasp the magnitude of what’s happened in the last two days? I’m talking about all of it, not only Johnny waking up. I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t been part of it.”

  “Of course I understand. I knew it the minute I saw you perched on the edge of that rock,” he said and looked into my eyes.

  I clenched my hands together. “If you hadn’t been there, or if you’d come one minute later…” I wrapped my arms around myself and shivered. “I wouldn’t ever have seen Johnny awake. He would have been left alone and defenseless in the world. Who knows what could have happened to him?”

  Ryan put his hand on my arm. “That didn’t happen. Don’t torture yourself. You’re here, and Johnny’s awake. That’s what matters.”

  “Alec told me the same thing. You’re both right, and I know I should listen, but it’s hard. Good things rarely happen in my life. When they do, I have trouble accepting it. I’ve never known happiness like this was possible. I’m glad you’re here to share it with me. You were the first person I called with the news.”

  Ryan stood and walked to a small stained-glass window. He kept his back to me and pretended to study it. After a few minutes, he took a breath and turned back to face me. “I was elated when you called to ask me to come to the hospital. You’ve been on my mind since the river,” he said.

  “I bet I have,” I said and winced. “It’s not every day you rescue a crazy lady at the river.”

  “That’s not what I mean. I haven’t so much as looked at another woman in the two years since my wife died, and you didn’t exactly make the best first impression by any stretch.” He shook his head.

  I shivered again. “I’m still mortified by the memory of it. It’s going to take time to work through it, but in my opinion, the world’s a magnificent place today.”

  He smiled. “I couldn’t agree more.”

  I patted the pew next to me and said, “You know my deepest, darkest secrets, but I hardly know anything about you. Sit down, and tell me about yourself.”

  “Isn’t Alec waiting for you?”

  “She’s with Johnny. She’s fine.”

  He hesitated before sitting down. “If you insist,” he said. “I have to warn you, though. My life is plain boring. What do you want to know?”

  “Start with your family. Tell me about your wife,” I said.

  Ryan looked down at his clasped hands before answering. “She died of cancer. It’s still hard to believe she’s gone sometimes.”

  “I’m so sorry. My mother died of cancer when I was a child. It’s a terrible way to lose someone.”

  “She had an aggressive form of cancer and went quickly, which was a blessing in the end. She was in a lot of pain. We have three grown children, a son and two fraternal twin daughters who barely act or look like sisters. Our son, Mark, is the eldest and got married six months ago. He and his wife Valerie live here in Richmond. The girls, Jennifer and Stephanie, are away at school. They come home on their breaks,” he said with pride showing in his eyes.

  “Have you lived in Richmond all your life? You don’t have an accent,” I said.

  “My wife would have laughed at that question. I was in the marines, and we moved a lot, including overseas. When I retired, we settled here because this is where my wife’s family is. That was when I started working for the park service.”

  “Where are you from originally?” I hoped he wouldn’t think I was nosy, but I found myself craving every detail of his life.

  “If I tell you, you have to tell me about yourself,” he said.

  “That’s fair,” I said, smiling.

  “I’m from Yakima, Washington. It’s a small town near Seattle. I bet you’ve never heard of it.”

  “I’ve heard of it, but I don’t know anything about it.”

  “It’s a beautiful place at the base of the Cascade Mountains. That’s where I got my love of the outdoors. I grew up canoeing, kayaking, camping, and mountain climbing.”

  “Sounds nice. You’ll have to talk to Adam. He’s from Colorado, and he goes on about that stuff all the time.” I laughed.

  “I hope I get the chance. Now it’s your turn.”

  “I was born in a little town south of Lincoln, Nebraska. My family lived on a farm when I was born, but later we sold it and moved to Lincoln. My mother’s parents were there. A few years after my mother died, I went to live with my aunt and uncle in Des Moines.” Describing my childhood that way made it sound normal when it had been anything but. I wondered what he’d think if he knew the truth.

  Ryan eyed me like he was waiting for more. When I didn’t go on, he said, “How did you end up here?”

  “That’s too long a story to go into now, but I’ve been in Richmond for over twenty years. I have two older brothers who were in the army. One died in Vietnam. The other lives in Atlanta with his family. We’re not that close. That’s all the family I have, an
d as you know, I don’t have children, or I didn’t until today,” I said.

  Without warning, Ryan reached out and took my hand.

  I looked at our intertwined fingers for a few seconds and said, “I was hoping you’d do that.”

  He smiled. “I know there couldn’t be a worse time for this, but I’d like to get to know you better. If my kids knew how we met, they’d think I was the one who’s crazy, but I feel drawn to you. I want to protect you and take care of you,” he said and shook his head. “Wow, could that have sounded more patronizing?”

  I smiled. “I happen to need someone to take care of me right now, but you might change your mind once you know more about me. My life is…complicated.”

  “I’ve noticed, but I’m pretty sure it won’t ever be worse than yesterday.”

  “It won’t, not even close,” I said, and my lip trembled. “We have nowhere to go but up. Having you show up in my life is an added gift, and I’m grateful. All I ask is that you give me time to figure things out with Johnny. I’ll be spending most of my time here until we have a timeline on his recovery. I need to be with him, but you’ll know where to find me. After that, we’ll see where our path leads.”

  “I’ll try not to be a pest. Promise you’ll tell me if I’m getting on your nerves,” he said.

  “I have a feeling that won’t happen,” I said. “For now, I’d better get back to Alec. She’s probably given up on me by now.”

  Ryan nodded, but neither of us moved, reluctant to let go of the moment. I was afraid it would never come again.

  He raised my hand and brushed it with his lips. “I’d better go,” he said and cleared his throat.

  I gently pulled my hand away and said, “Give me a few days. I’ll call you.”

  Ryan gave a quick nod and left without looking back.

  “What took you so long?” Alec asked when I walked into Johnny’s room after talking to Ryan.

  Johnny was still sleeping, so I motioned for her to follow me into the hallway. It felt strange to worry about waking Johnny up after not having to worry about it for so long.

  “I’m not ready to talk about that. I’m not sure I could explain it. When I’m ready to talk, you’ll be the first,” I told her.

  “Fair enough,” she said. “Let’s get going.”

  I checked with the nurses to make sure that Johnny wouldn’t be alone while I was gone. When I was satisfied they had it covered, I followed Alec to her car. On the way, we talked about everything that had happened in the previous weeks. I told Alec that I felt like I’d lived multiple lifetimes since Jay had proposed to me. Some of it was worse than anything I’d ever known, but that was all forgotten in the joy of having Johnny alive and awake.

  When I told Alec that, she said, “Then maybe this is the best time to tell you something I’ve been keeping from you. If Johnny hadn’t survived, it wouldn’t have mattered. Now that he’s going to live, you need to know.”

  “What now, Alec? I’ve been to heaven and hell and back in the last few weeks. I’m on top of the mountain. Will telling me ruin that?” I asked.

  “Not sure,” she said. “I’ve debated all day whether or not to tell you, but I realized that if it came out that I knew and didn’t tell you, you’d be furious. So, here goes. A few weeks after that couple dumped Johnny in the ER, an FBI agent came to see him. I happened to be in the PICU visiting Johnny at the time. I told him I was on duty the night Johnny came in, and he shared a suspicion he had about who Johnny was. He asked me not to tell anyone. I’m not sure why he told me.”

  “Was it Grant Erikson?” I asked, recalling my conversation with him in Johnny’s room months earlier.

  “Maybe. I don’t remember his name,” she said.

  “What did he tell you?” I asked, ignoring the growing dread in the pit of my stomach.

  “He told me that six months earlier, he’d been working in New Mexico before transferring to Richmond. Before he left, a couple kidnapped a newborn boy from a hospital. He didn’t give me any of the details but said they never found any leads, and the three of them disappeared. When Johnny showed up here, he had a strong hunch that he was the kidnapped baby. All he had was the hospital photo taken about an hour after the kidnapped baby was born. You know how fast their looks change. It was impossible to tell if Johnny was the same child.”

  “Stop, Alec. Please, just stop talking,” I said and gripped the armrest.

  “No, you need to hear the rest,” she said. “He came back to see Johnny a few weeks later and came to look for me. He said he tried to talk his superiors into letting him contact the boy’s parents, but they refused. They didn’t want to get the parents’ hopes up based on a random hunch. Johnny has the same common blood type as the parents, but the agent’s boss didn’t want to go to the trouble and expense to run the DNA. They told him to get back to his other cases, so he had to let the matter drop. I could tell it bothered him.”

  “How could you have kept this from me?” I asked her. I was shaking uncontrollably and felt light-headed.

  “I shouldn’t have kept it from you, and I regret waiting so long. I never saw the point when Johnny’s future was so uncertain. I should have told you, even though we thought Johnny wouldn’t survive.” Alec glanced at me. “Your face is white as a sheet. Say something.”

  “You knew what I’ve been through the last few days. You couldn’t have picked a worse time to tell me,” I said.

  “I put it out of mind until last night. That’s the truth. I was thinking that if Johnny was that same baby, he would die without his parents ever knowing what happened to him. Then at the press conference, I wondered if his parents might be watching. I almost told you then but chickened out. This is the first chance I’ve had since then. Look, Grace, nothing’s happened after all this time. Maybe they found that boy, and he’s back with his parents. Your knowing changes nothing.”

  I pressed my forehead against the cool window glass. “Let me out. Let me out of this car.”

  “Don’t do this,” Alec said and started to cry.

  I swung around to face her. “What did you expect? If there’s any chance that Johnny is that couple’s son, I’m obligated to find out. Can’t you see that? What if you had a baby and someone kidnapped it? You’d move heaven and earth to find him. You know you would. Have you ever even thought about what those people have gone through?”

  “Of course I have, but what are the odds of Johnny being their child? That agent could’ve contacted you at any time with his suspicions. Johnny’s story’s been all over the news. That has to mean something,” she said.

  “I’ve got to tell Paul. He has to do something about this. How can I adopt Johnny if he’s someone else’s son?”

  “Paul knows,” she said and sniffed.

  “What? So you thought it was all right to tell him and not me? What’s wrong with you?” I said, getting angrier by the second.

  “I told him before the interview. I know it was only local, but there was a chance it could have been picked up nationally.”

  I went back to my deep breathing. “What did Paul say?”

  “He went to the FBI, but that agent wasn’t there. The person he talked to told him to forget it. They never believed Johnny was the same child, and they stopped investigating both cases months ago. They never had enough evidence for either. Paul let it drop.”

  “You two did this behind my back?” I asked, shocked that had they both betrayed me.

  “You were going through enough trauma. What difference would it have made, Grace? There’s nothing you can do.”

  “Then why tell me? Why not take it to your grave? If Johnny isn’t that kidnapped child, then why tell me?”

  “I did it to protect you! There’s still a microscopic kernel of doubt. With the media crawling all over Johnny’s story, I was afraid someone else might make the connection. I wanted you to hear this from me in case someone came forward.”

  I turned back to the window and stared into the darkness bey
ond. Without facing Alec, I said, “I knew it was too perfect. That should have been a red flag. Why couldn’t you have left me in blissful ignorance, even if for just a day? Now Johnny isn’t mine. He’ll never be mine.”

  Alec pulled into my driveway and turned off the ignition. She got out, walked to my car door and yanked it open. “Get out!” she said.

  I obeyed and faced her. She put her hands on my shoulders and said, “Stop this now! We’ve never known where Johnny came from, but we knew someone out there gave birth to him. None of that has changed. I’m not going to apologize for telling you. Maybe I could have timed it better.”

  “Oh, you think?” I said, trying to break free.

  “Quiet!” she said, not letting me get away. “Johnny is your son. A day ago, we were sitting a deathwatch over him. Now you get to adopt him. This changes nothing! Take that boy home when the time comes, and love him the way that only you can. Give him the life he, and you, deserve. Put this from your mind and be his mother. If I ever hear you say again that he’s not yours, I may have to smack you.”

  She dropped her hands, and I backed away from the force of her words. As we glared at each other, the truth of her words sank in. I threw my arms around her and sobbed on her shoulder.

  When I finally pulled myself together, I backed away and said, “I need some major therapy or maybe just some new friends.”

  A smile broke on Alec’s face, and we burst out laughing.

  I leaned against the car and took another deep breath. “You have terrible timing. I can’t say I’m glad you told me, but I needed to know. For now, I’ll park this in the back of my mind with the rest of the mess and focus on Johnny. That’s as much as I can handle.”

  “I’m glad to hear that. I hope you won’t let this be a wedge between us.”

  “It won’t. I’m going to be mad at you for a while, but as you told Ryan, we’re sisters. Nothing will ever change that.”