Arms of Grace

by Eleanor Chance

  With my eyes glistening, I said, “I couldn’t have imagined being dressed like this a year ago or having a man like Ryan to love me or being a mother. I saw the course of my life stretching out as sterile, lonely, and safe. I didn’t believe I was worthy of life like the one I have now. Andrew tried to tell me. I wish I’d listened sooner.”

  Alec wiped a tear off her cheek with the back of her hand. “Stop that, or we’ll have to redo your makeup, and Ryan’s going to be here any minute.”

  I laughed at her and went to say goodnight to Johnny. We’d carried his high chair into my room and put Johnny in it with some fruit chews to keep him occupied while I got ready. I lifted him out and gave him a tight squeeze and peck on the cheek.

  “You be good for Auntie Alec.” I handed him to her before he got me all sticky.

  “He’s always an angel for me, aren’t you?” she said.

  He gurgled incoherently and jammed his sticky hand in his mouth.

  The doorbell rang, and I ran as fast as I could in my heels to answer it.

  I opened the door and said, “Why didn’t you just come in?”

  “And miss the chance to admire you in the doorway?” Ryan put his arms around my waist. “It was worth it. You’re stunning.”

  I kissed him. “You’re not so bad yourself. Let me get a better look.” I stepped back and eyed him up and down. He was wearing a black tailored suit that I’d never seen. He looked amazing. “Where have you been hiding that?” I asked.

  “I didn’t want to let you see it because I was afraid you’d keep making me wear it,” he said and turned in a circle. “Like it?”

  In answer, I pulled him close and kissed him. “Maybe we should skip dinner.”

  Alec walked into the living room carrying Johnny and cleared her throat. “Oh no, you don’t. There will be time for that later,” she said and opened the door. Johnny reached for Ryan and started crying when Alec pulled him away. “None of that. You’re too sticky for Ryan to hold you tonight.”

  Ryan ducked out the door, and I said, “Have fun,” and gave her a little wave on my way out.

  Ryan took me to the highest-rated Italian restaurant near the canal walk in the city. I’d only been there once with Alec and had nearly choked on the prices. When I protested, Ryan shushed me and opened my menu. We decided on a five-course meal for two that culminated in cannoli. We ate slowly and laughed and talked about everything. I couldn’t remember a date where I’d been more content.

  It was a nice night, so we walked along the canal after dinner. When we reached a secluded spot, Ryan stopped and turned me to face him. He took my hands, and said, “You are stunning, and not only your looks. I thought my life was over after Marie died, but then you fell into my path.”

  “Literally,” I said and smiled.

  Ryan laughed. “We have the most unique ‘How did you two meet?’ story out there. But don’t change the subject. You brought me back from an edge of sorts too, Grace. Life is vibrant with you. I’d never felt this way, and I want to capture this feeling forever, which is why I brought you here.” He let go of my hands and reached into his chest pocket. When he pulled his hand out, it held a small black box. He took my left hand and said, “I can’t let you get away, Grace Ward. How would you like to marry me?”

  “Yes, yes, more than you’ll ever know,” I said.

  He opened the box and held up the ring. It was beautiful but had faint scratches and nicks on the band and had an antique style.

  “It’s lovely. Where did you get it?” I asked.

  “It was my grandmother’s ring. Dad gave it to me when she died. It was after Marie and I were married, so we just put it in the safe. I’ve been planning to give it to you since I decided to propose. Nanna was very dear to me. You remind me of her.”

  He slipped the ring on my finger, but I could hardly see it through my tears.

  “That’s wonderful. I’m honored,” I said. “Just when I think you can’t surprise me. I’m not the only one who’s stunning, Ryan Walker.”

  “Well, there is more,” he said. “I told Serena and Paul I wanted to marry you and adopt Johnny. Since your adoption was just final, I didn’t know how that would work. They said it was no problem. They’ve been doing the background work. I swore them to secrecy. You know I would have adopted Johnny if it hadn’t worked out for you. Since it did, I want to ask your permission to adopt him too and give him our name. If you want Johnny to keep your name, I’ll understand and be his stepfather, but, if you’re willing, I’d love to become his full-fledged father.”

  He held his breath, waiting for my answer.

  I hesitated for a second to make him squirm. “Of course, you crazy goose. I assumed that’s what would happen if I married you. You’re Johnny’s favorite person in the world.”

  He threw his arms around me and held me tight. After a few seconds, he pulled away. “So you’ve thought about marrying me? For how long?”

  “Since our breakfast at Juliana’s. It took you long enough to ask,” I said and kissed the tip of his nose.

  “I was giving you time to settle in with Johnny and recover from everything you’d been through. It was hard keeping it a secret from you.”

  “How many people know about this?” I asked.

  “Just about everyone. I even told Johnny, but he’s good at keeping secrets.”

  Ryan placed my hand in the crook of his elbow and led me to the car. When he opened my door, I turned to him and said, “I’d given up dreaming that life held any of this in store for me. Now, I have a beautiful child and soon, the perfect husband, and a new family. Thank you for this. Truly, thank you.”

  Ryan didn’t speak, but his eyes glistened as he gazed at me. No words were needed as he put his hands on my cheeks and touched his forehead to mine.

  Alec jumped up when we got home and said, “Do you have something to show me?”

  I held up the ring for her.

  “It’s gorgeous. Congratulations, both of you,” she said and kissed each of us on the cheek. She looked at Ryan and said, “Did she agree about Johnny?” When he nodded, she said, “I told you she would.” She picked up her purse and walked to the door. “I’m going to get out of here and give you two some alone time. Call me first thing in the morning,” she said to me. “I want every detail.”

  “You got it,” I said and closed the door behind her.

  Ryan took me to the sofa and pulled me onto his lap. He loosened my hair and drew me close with his hand still in my hair. He brushed his lips on mine and moved down to my neck.

  I closed my eyes and shivered. “I like alone time,” I said.

  I lowered my face to Ryan but jumped when Johnny’s cry sounded through the baby monitor. I leaned back and groaned. “We’re never going to get alone time,” I said.

  Ryan kissed me once more and slid me off his lap onto the sofa. “I’ll go,” he said. “And don’t worry, we have the rest of our lives to enjoy alone time.”

  I admired the view as my handsome fiancé walked away to take care of my son and marveled at the joy that had come into my life. I remembered what I’d told Alec in front of the mirror earlier and felt Andrew smiling down on me. “Thank you for sending the love my way, old friend,” I said and blew a kiss to heaven.

  The months after our engagement passed in a busy blur. We set a date for three months later and decided on a small church wedding with just friends and family. We also decided that Ryan should move into my house to avoid disruption to Johnny’s routine. He started moving his things over a little at a time. I woke one morning thinking about how strange it was to see a man’s things in my bedroom. It was a strange I could get used to.

  Ryan’s house was paid for, and it held too many memories to sell it, so he offered it to Mark and Valerie. They were thrilled to accept. With the baby coming, they’d been looking for something bigger than their two-bedroom apartment, and Mark loved the idea of raising his family in the neighborhood he’d grown up in. The only condition was th
at he and Valerie had to allow the girls to stay whenever they came home from school. They gladly agreed.

  I woke on the day of the wedding to the sounds of a shrieking child dragging me from my blissful dream world back to reality. It was still dark out, and I wondered why Johnny was awake at five thirty. He usually slept until at least seven. A clap of thunder rattled the house as I climbed out of bed, and I had my answer. Johnny was terrified of thunder, and I couldn’t blame him.

  I threw on my robe and went to his room. I untangled him from his blankets and carried him around the room, gently bouncing him and singing softly into his ear. When the storm quieted, I dressed him and snuggled with him on the window seat. He sat on my lap and watched the wet birds flit through the trees with rapt attention. A ray of sunlight split the clouds and streamed through the window, reflecting off Johnny’s corn-silk hair. I sighed in contentment.

  Johnny looked up at me. “Mama,” he said and gave me a crooked grin.

  “That’s right, sweetie. I’m Mama,” I said and kissed the top of his head. Johnny had started calling me Mama months earlier, but I still got a thrill each time he said it.

  He began to wiggle to get down, so I put him on the floor. He dragged himself arm over arm in his military crawl to the toy truck that Ryan had given him the week before. He held it up with his good hand to show me and said, “Kuck.” When I nodded, he said, “Pop Pop.”

  “That’s right, Johnny. Papa gave you the truck,” I said and chuckled at his nickname for Ryan. He’d tried to teach Johnny to call him Papa, but it came out Pop Pop.

  Johnny sat up and ran the truck back and forth across the carpet, making engine noises. I let him play while I dozed in the rocking chair. At seven, I carried him to the kitchen for breakfast. The phone rang as I was strapping him into the highchair.

  “Good morning, Miss Grace. How are you this fine morning?” Ryan said.

  “Just perfect, but how did you know I’d be up this early?” I asked.

  “Thunderstorm. I figured Johnny would be awake, so you’d be up too,” he said.

  I turned on the speaker phone and said, “You must be psychic. I’m about to feed him breakfast.”

  “You shouldn’t be doing that today. It’s your wedding day,” he said cheerfully.

  “What a coincidence. It’s your wedding day too.” I laughed.

  Johnny laughed along even though he had no idea what was so funny.

  Ryan said, “I thought Alec was taking Johnny this morning so that you could get ready for your big day.”

  I handed Johnny a spoon to eat his cereal. He scooped some of it into his mouth and spit half of it back out, which he thought was hilarious. I grabbed a towel to wipe his face. “It’s still early. She’ll be here around ten. Did the girls get in all right last night?”

  “Yes, and they’re already up making plans for nails and hair. They’re acting like kids on Christmas morning,” he said.

  “Tell them they can come over as soon as they want. I’m excited to see them, and it’s going to take a lot of work to get me looking like a beautiful bride.” Johnny spit the next bite of cereal at me. I took the bowl away and put some apple pieces on his tray. He gleefully stuffed them into his mouth.

  “I doubt that,” Ryan said. “I bet you look beautiful right now.”

  “I should take that bet,” I said and wiped the cereal off my robe.

  “Maybe I should come over and find out,” Ryan said, lowering his voice. Jen and Stephanie protested in the background. “I’ve been informed that I’m not allowed to see you until the wedding, so I guess I’ll never know.”

  “You’ll have a pretty good idea when you see me in the morning.” I looked at my reflection in the toaster. My hair was a tangled knot sticking out in all directions.

  Ryan’s voice grew soft. “I can’t wait to wake up next to my beautiful bride.”

  “I love you, Mr. Walker,” I said.

  “I love you more, the future Mrs. Walker.”

  “I love you most,” I said and laughed.

  “I loved you first.”

  The girls groaned in the background, and I laughed again. “I’ll see you in a few hours. You’ll have to survive until then.”

  “I hope so. Love you,” he said and hung up.

  Later that day, I rested my hand in Ryan’s as we knelt at the altar. I’d expected to be nervous, but I was calm in the knowledge that I was doing the right thing. All that was missing was Andrew, but I felt his presence there.

  It seemed a lifetime had passed since Ryan rescued me from the precipice. I’d been so certain my life was ending, but as I looked into Ryan’s eyes, I prayed in gratitude that because of him, it was only the beginning.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Four months after our wedding, Ryan and Adam talked Alec and me into letting them go away for a rock-climbing weekend. Alec said she’d only agree on the condition that she could come to stay with me for a girl’s weekend, and I happily agreed.

  When I opened the door for Alec, she bounced in and waved her left hand in front of my face. “Notice anything new?”

  I took her hand to examine the engagement ring. The diamond was huge and sparkled in the living-room light. I hugged her and said, “Finally! I never thought he’d get up the courage to do it.” I pulled her toward the sofa. “Tell me all about it.”

  “We’ve been talking about it for ages, but I think seeing you and Ryan get married was the push he needed. I had no idea it was coming. He invited me over for dinner last night. I thought it was because he was going away for the weekend. I tried to talk to him into coming to my apartment because we all know about Adam’s cooking,” she said.

  “No wonder he’s marrying you. It all makes sense now,” I said and laughed.

  She gave me a little slap on the arm. “Stop that and listen. He answered the door wearing a tux. He catered an amazing dinner and even hired a string quartet. Of course, I figured out what was going on by then and couldn’t eat fast enough. When we finished, he sent them all away and got on one knee.”

  “He did not,” I said. “I thought you two were too modern for things like that.”

  She scowled at me. “Quit interrupting. You know, he even called Dad to ask for my hand. Can you believe that? What’s even more amazing is that Dad gave his approval. Anyway, Adam said he loved me before he met me. I’m not sure what that means, but I’ll have our whole lives to find out.”

  I squeezed her hand and said, “Congratulations, Alec. I’ve never seen two people more suited for each other.”

  Alec was about to say something but stopped when my phone buzzed. We looked at it, and she said, “I thought we said no phones tonight.”

  “I just kept it on for emergencies,” I said. “I don’t recognize the number though. I should answer it.”

  Alec pushed my arm down to stop me. “If it’s important, they’ll leave a message.”

  After the phone stopped buzzing, I waited for the voice-mail alert. Whoever called didn’t leave a message. “Must not be important. So, back to you. Have you set a date?”

  The phone buzzed again before she answered.

  “I’m going to answer it, or they’ll keep bugging me,” I said. I slid my finger across the screen and said, “Hello?”

  “Is this Grace Ward?” a woman’s voice asked.

  “Who is this?” I asked instead.

  “Who I am doesn’t matter. If this is Grace Ward, I’m calling to tell you that today is your son’s second birthday.”

  I hung up and threw the phone on the floor.

  “Why’d you do that?” Alec asked and picked up the phone. She looked at the number. “Who was it?” When I shook my head, she said, “We can look up the number online.”

  The phone rang again. I was terrified to answer, but I had to know how the woman knew about Johnny. I swiped my finger again and waited.

  “Look, are you Grace Ward or not?” the woman asked. She sounded agitated.

  Not wanting to make her ang
ry, I said, “It’s Walker now. What do you want?”

  “Oh, right,” she said. “Congratulations on your marriage. I hope yours goes better than mine. But I’m not calling about that. I called to tell you that I know who your son really is and how he got here. His parents are still alive.”

  The words hit me like a punch in the gut. I couldn’t catch my breath, and the room started to go black. My medical training kicked in, and I forced myself to take a deep breath.

  “What’s wrong, Grace? Put it on speaker,” Alec said and took the phone from me. She turned on the speaker and set it on the coffee table.

  “How do you know that?” I croaked into the phone.

  “Know what?” Alec whispered, but I waved her off.

  “I was with your son on the day he was born, two years ago today. I was with him for the first six months of his life. I know who his parents are and where they live. I’m willing to tell you,” she said.

  “What, for a price, you mean?” I asked.

  “Don’t say anything else,” Alec told me. “This is some wacko trying to extort you. I’m hanging up.”

  Alec grabbed for the phone, but the woman said, “Who is that? Alec Covington? I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

  Alec looked at me with wide eyes. That woman knew everything about me. My terror rose at the thought that she’d been watching me.

  I pushed Alec’s hand away. “It’s okay. We’re listening,” I said into the phone and squeezed Alec’s hands to keep mine from trembling.

  “I don’t want anything from you. I’ve followed Johnny’s life since the day my husband dragged me away from your ER. I watched you fight for him. I’ve watched you care for him. I want to make amends for the terrible things I’ve done. The doctors told me I couldn’t have children. My ex-husband and I had been trying for years, but nothing happened. We wanted to adopt a baby, but we couldn’t afford it, and my husband had a criminal record.”