Hard To Leave (The Hard Series Book 3)

by S. Jones

  His was also staring at my son like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming truck. He looked nervous and completely out of place.

  I walked over and placed my hands on Tanner’s shoulders.

  “Tanner.” I peered down at him. “This is my friend, Jack.”

  Tanner had to tip his head all the back to meet Jack’s gaze. “Hi.”

  Jack stepped closer. “Nice to meet you, Tanner,” he said gently. He lifted his head and glanced at me. His mouth stretched into an uneasy smile.

  I could tell he wasn’t sure how to act or what to say. This moment was a first for all of us. He knelt down and placed something round in Tanner’s hand. “Your mom told me that you’re a baseball fan.” Tanner’s eyes grew wide as saucers as he stared at the baseball in his hand. He rolled it around in his palm until he read the signature on the back of the ball.

  “Holy cow! This is so cool. Is that really Aaron Judge’s signature?” Tanner asked, pointing to black sharpie writing on the back side of the ball.

  “It sure is. Your mom told me how much you love the Yankees.” He lifted his head to mine and shot me a wink. I pressed a hand to my chest, feeling my heart melt a little.

  Tanner looked at Jack with wonder in his eyes. “He’s my favorite player. I have a bunch of binders filled with different baseball cards. I even have a jersey card for Derek Jeter. Want to see them?”

  Jack laughed. “I would love to.”

  Touching the top of Tanner’s hair, I smiled. “Why don’t you go grab your binders and find a safe place for the ball. But first, what do you say to Jack?”

  Cradling the ball in his hands as if it would disappear, Tanner looked up at Jack with two, small little dimples forming in his cheeks. “Thank you. This is one of the best gifts I’ve ever gotten.”

  Jack stood and smiled down at my little boy, and I was thankful that I had the doorjamb to hold onto for support because I felt weak in the knees watching such a tender moment.

  “Tanner, go put your ball away in a safe place and then you can come back out and show Jack your card collection.”

  “Cool, I’m going to call Tyler first. He’s not going to believe this!” And then he was off.

  I closed the door and took a deep breath. “That was very nice of you, but that must be worth a small fortune. Are you sure you don’t want to keep it?”

  Jack shrugged like it was no big deal. “I’ve got a couple more at home.” Of course, he did. “Besides, it looks like he appreciates it more than I ever did. So, it was worth it.” He reached out and grabbed my elbow, moving us both away from the door. “I want to kiss you so fucking bad right now.”

  I wanted that too. More than anything.

  I put my finger up and smiled. “Hold that thought.” I ran over to Tanner’s room and saw that he was talking to Tyler on the phone about his new autographed ball. I shut his bedroom door and wandered back over to Jack, pulling him out on the back patio.

  As soon as I closed the slider, his strong arms wrapped around me, and in one swift move, our lips were connected.

  It’s been two weeks. Two weeks since I’ve kissed him. Two weeks since I’ve felt his touch. His hands traveled up my back, stopping on the base of my neck. The same fingers that drove me crazy weeks ago were now gliding across my skin and doing it again.

  “I’m so glad you’re here,” I hummed as he licked his way along my throat. I never wanted this to stop. Every woman should know what this kind of passion felt like at least once in her lifetime. I felt sorry for the ones who didn’t. It made me want to hold on tighter and never let go.

  Jack slid his palms under my shirt and brought his hand up to cup my breast. He was hard and ready against me, and I was more than willing.

  “Mom!” Tanner’s voice called out from the house, causing us both to jump back as if we’d been caught doing something we shouldn’t.

  “Christ, I’m sorry.” He plowed his hands through hair, taking another step back. My body missed his warmth, and I wanted nothing more than to pick up where we just left off, but my son was in the house.

  I brought my hand to my lips that were swollen and still tingling from our intense make-out session. I quickly fixed my shirt and gave him a peck on the mouth. “Don’t be sorry. I needed that.”

  Jack groaned while looking down at his erection that was practically punching through his jeans. I couldn’t help but bite my lip. “You think this is funny?” he asked, sounding sexually frustrated. That only triggered a round of giggles between us.

  “I’ll give you a couple minutes to let the big fella calm down.” I started to walk away then paused and turned around. “But don’t let him completely disappear, because I plan on taking care of him later.”

  I heard Jack hiss out a breath as I sauntered back into the kitchen with a big smile stretched across my face.

  Chapter 14

  Jack

  I had zero experience with kids. Sure, I’ve been around a few in my day, and some of my friends have young families, but I have never had so much banking on one kid’s opinion of me. Ever.

  So far, Tanner was pretty cool.

  After showing me his impressive card collection, he challenged me to a game of MLB on his X-box. Apparently, Chloe only let him play for a couple of hours on the weekend. But seeing that she asked him to entertain me while she cleaned up really helped boost my popularity with the kid.

  “All right, you two, time to finish up your game,” Chloe announced, carrying a tray of cookies into the living room. Tanner’s fingers pounded away on the controller while I sat back and got my ass handed to me by a seven-year-old. Judging by how good he was, I suspected that he spent a lot more time gaming than Chloe even knew.

  I set the controller down on the coffee table. “He’s pretty good, for a kid who’s not allowed to play that much.”

  Chloe laughed. “Yeah, he’s pretty competitive.” She placed the tray of milk and cookies in front of me. “Now I know why he likes to sleep over at Tyler’s house every weekend.”

  Tanner finished the game with a big whoop, then plopped his body back against the couch with a smug grin on his face. “Nice game, kid.” I extended my hand for a fist bump.

  “Thanks. If you want, you can come to play with me again tomorrow before I go to my sleepover.”

  I could feel Chloe’s gaze on me out of the corner of my eye. I picked up a cookie and took a huge bite.

  “Honey, I’m sure Jack has some other things to do tomorrow. Remember when I told you that he lives in New York and only gets to spend a few days a month here?”

  Tanner frowned. “Oh, that’s right.” He sighed and slouched his shoulders forward.

  “You know what,” I said, sitting up. “I have to visit with my mom tomorrow, but maybe we could convince your mom to let us play again before I head back home.”

  Tanner’s lips curved into a smile. “Can we, Mom?”

  Chloe shot me an evil eye, while playfully scolding me with her tone. “You are a bad influence on the boy. You know that?”

  I put my arm around Tanner’s shoulders and pulled him in a fake headlock and tousled his hair. I glanced at Chloe and flashed her a devilish grin. “If you want, you can punish me later.”

  Tanner laughed, not having a clue what I meant. I couldn’t help but smile at her shocked expression.

  She placed her hands on her hips and tried to stare me down like a teacher who was sending her misbehaving student to the principal’s office. She was trying to act intimidating, but I could tell she liked that idea. “I’m not sure you would be able to handle my type of punishment.”

  She quirked an eyebrow and shot me a sweet smile that had X-rated visions flashing in my head. I suddenly pictured her dressed in a school uniform, holding a ruler and spreading her out along a big wooden desk.

  Well, that woke my dick right up again. I released Tanner and jumped off the couch so I could go adjust myself in private. “I’m going to get a glass of water. Anybody want anything while I’m
in the kitchen?”

  Chloe sat back and tucked her legs underneath her. The corners of her mouth lifted up. She knew she had me by the balls and she loved every minute of it. “We’re all good in here.”

  After dessert, we sat around and played a quick game of UNO, before it was time for Tanner to head to bed. After he changed into his pj’s and brushed his teeth, he surprised me by walking over and giving me a hug good night. My body stilled at first, but after the first few seconds, I started to relax.

  Being here with them made me realize how quiet my life was. I couldn’t remember the last I ever felt this comfortable. I don’t think ever.

  My hand was holding the remote, flipping through channels, trying to make sense of everything when Chloe came strolling back into the living room. I set the TV remote down and patted the space next to me. “Hey, beautiful. Have a seat.”

  She had changed into yoga pants and a cropped T-shirt that showed off her tanned stomach. I loved the fact that she felt so comfortable around me. She didn’t need all the makeup and primping that a lot of women did. She was gorgeous just the way she was.

  “Hi.” She smiled, looking up at me.

  My arm curled around her small frame, pulling it to mine. “Did he go down okay?”

  “It usually takes him about half an hour to fall asleep.” Ah, so he was still awake then. Good to know. “I tucked him in, and he was clutching that baseball to his chest. I’m not sure he’ll ever part with it.”

  My fingers brushed along the top of her shoulder, playing with her cotton T-shirt. “I’m glad he liked it. I’ve got a ball or two that you’re welcome to clutch if you’d like.”

  She threw her head back and laughed. “I’ll keep that in mind.” Her eyes turned serious as she played with the ends of my hair. “Seriously, though. I think he liked you more than the ball.”

  “The feeling is mutual. He’s a great kid. He’s easygoing and funny, reminds me a lot of myself when I was younger.”

  That earned me a very un-lady-like snort. “That is not how I pictured you at all as a child.”

  My hands stilled on her shoulder. “Oh, really, and how exactly do you picture me?”

  She sat up, working her tongue around in her cheek, seeming to think it over. “I pictured you like a little rebel. Always on the go, always looking for an adventure. Pushing your boundaries, but charming the pants or skirts off any female who came into contact with you.”

  A laugh rumbled from my chest. “If we were talking teenage years, you would be spot on. However, when I was younger, I was quiet and reserved.”

  She seemed surprised by that. “Really?”

  “When kids were doing summer camps and sleepovers, I was spending my time traveling back and forth between here and New York. As I got older, my dad sensed that I needed a little bit more freedom, so we had an agreement. I had to work my ass off for the first six weeks of summer, helping him with the business, but the rest of the time was mine. I had a rotation of buddies that I used to hang out with, and when your parents are loaded, and you’ve got nothing but time on your hands, there isn’t much to do other than to go find trouble.”

  She studied me long and hard. “Were you ever resentful toward your parents because you had to split your time between places? I’m sure that wasn’t easy growing up.”

  That was a tough question because I lived a very privileged life. I knew I had it better than most. So, in some regards, I allowed myself to believe that I had no right to complain. But there were many times when it got lonely. “I guess when I was younger it felt like I was missing out on the little things that families did together, but as I got older, I started to appreciate all the things that I had.”

  She took a slow sip of her wine and looked away from me, clearly conflicted. “Sometimes I wonder if Tanner will grow up to resent me.” She shifted nervously on the couch, and I sat up straighter so I could focus on her. She averted her eyes away again. “He used to ask about his dad all the time when he was younger, but he hasn’t asked in a while. I just worry that not having a father figure in his life will hurt him in the long run.”

  I cleared my throat. I didn’t know anything about being a parent. There was no advice I could give her. Nothing I could say to make her feel better. I thought about my own father and the impact he had on my life. Even though I worshipped him, I wasn’t sure if he would be the perfect example of what Tanner needed in his life.

  Ever since she told me that Tanner was the result of a one-night stand, I’ve been curious to know more. She never told me the full story of what went down, although I got the impression that it was more than she has let on.

  I cupped her cheek, feeling discomfort sweep up my spine. “Have you ever thought more about trying to find his father?”

  She looked back at me, while absently rubbing her thumb over her hand. The room went quiet. I wanted to reach out and soothe her and find out what was going on in her head.

  “No. I haven’t.”

  Something was off in her voice, but I didn’t want to push the subject. Frankly, given that all the parenting experience I had couldn’t fill the first page of a matchbook, I didn’t think it was my place to do so.

  She stood and wandered into the kitchen. I didn’t like the distance she was putting between us, so I stood and followed her. She seemed uncomfortable as I stared at her back and searched for the right words.

  I leaned up against the wall and folded my arms across my chest. “Chloe, what’s going on?”

  Her hands stilled on the faucet as she rinsed out her wineglass. She grabbed a towel off the counter and wiped her hands. “I’m sorry. I just don’t like talking about Tanner’s dad. I shouldn’t have brought it up.”

  I was so confused, and I had a million questions on the tip of my tongue. Instead, I stayed silent and decided not press her any further.

  When she turned to face me, she kept her eyes on the ground.

  “C’mere.” I reached out my arm and pulled her toward me. I ran a comforting hand through her hair, hoping to ease whatever worries she had. I wanted her to feel safe in my arms.

  She tipped her head back and flashed me that beautiful smile. The one that made me forget about everything else. “I don’t deserve you.”

  My head dipped into the crook of her neck. “Yes, you do.” I pulled her mouth to mine and kissed her tenderly, without urgency. “And for the record,” I stared into her eyes, “I’m the one who doesn’t deserve you.”

  She chuckled and roamed her hands up and down my arms. “Okay. Whatever you say.”

  I bit down on her bottom lip and watched the heat spread up into her face. “Is Tanner asleep yet?”

  She steadied her hands on my chest and gave me a knowing grin. “Let me check.”

  I plowed my hands through my hair like a goddamned bulldozer. My dick was straining against the fabric of my pants to the point where I thought it might bust loose. I needed a release—a real one. I was sick of using my hand. Tonight, I was craving the real thing.

  Chloe appeared in the doorway with a smile. I took that as a good sign. My legs closed the distance between us in seconds. As soon as I reached her, I picked her up and carried her into her bedroom. She was about to find out exactly how much I missed her.

  Chapter 15

  Jack

  I pulled into the driveway of the brick mansion that held most of my childhood memories. It looked cold, big, and empty, and it was way too much space for one person. Sometimes I wondered why my mother insisted on hanging onto it considering it wasn’t chock-full of pleasant family memories.

  You’d think it would be easier for her to sell, move on, and start over. My father’s presence still lingered everywhere, even though I knew he was gone. I still watched and waited for the garage door to open, expecting to see his black Audi to come rolling down the drive.

  These visits with my mother were getting harder and harder to take. I had to remind myself that she was still a work in progress and that things would get bette
r with time.

  I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but there has been something off lately with her. One minute she would be breaking down in tears, telling me how overwhelmed she was, and the next, she was insisting that she wanted to handle everything on her own. Which made no sense at all because she knew nothing about 401k loans and stock options or real estate investments. I was the one with the business degree, and my rates were affordable. Free of charge, actually. The only thing “financial” she was familiar with was swiping her black Amex card through the card reader at Neiman Marcus.

  I stepped out of my Jeep Wrangler and fixed my windblown hair, it looked like the head of a troll doll. I really needed a haircut.

  I adjusted the Oakley’s on top of my head and made my way up to the garage door. The sooner I got this visit out of the way, the sooner I could get back to Chloe. Just as I was about to punch in the code, the door lifted open.

  The Styrofoam coffee cup in my hand froze. The investment banker who handled my family’s investments strolled over to an older model BMW which was parked on my father’s side of the garage. He dangled his cheap, gray suit coat over his shoulder, which was probably purchased on a two for one deal at JC Penny. His clothes looked wrinkled, his hair looked a mess, and he wore a grin that matched mine when I woke up next to Chloe this morning.

  His feet stalled when he caught sight of me. My fingers practically crushed the coffee cup in my hand. I never trusted that son of a bitch, and now I knew why.

  He took a step back, holding his hands out defensively. “Jack.” His face contorted into panic. “This isn’t what it looks like.”

  My nostrils flared. “First, it’s not Jack. It’s fucking Mr. Jenson to you, asshole. And second, what do you think this looks like?” I tilted my head to the side and pinned him with my icy stare. “To me, it looks like you were just banging my mother.”

  He swallowed nervously, glancing over his shoulder. “I care about your mother very much.”