Hard To Leave (The Hard Series Book 3)

by S. Jones

  “You guys are my guests, so I insist. Besides, sleeping with your mom would be inappropriate.”

  Tanner smirked. “I’m almost eight, not five. I know what adults do when they’re alone, Jack.”

  I brought my fist to my mouth and turned my head to stop myself from laughing. I wasn’t touching the comment with a ten-foot pole. Chloe’s face turned a bright shade of red. “Tanner!” she warned, while I silently wondered if he was closer to having the talk about the birds and the bees than she thought.

  “Whatever.” He just rolled his eyes and walked over to the bed. He bounced on the mattress as if he were testing it out.

  I clapped my hands together. “Okay, let’s get situated, and then I’ll show you both around the city. Sound like a plan?”

  Tanner went right to work unpacking his suitcase while Chloe followed me into the kitchen. I grabbed her face and gave her the most tender kiss I had ever given a woman in my life. My feelings for her were getting too strong for me to hide, but I had to respect that Tanner was close by. Not being able to touch her when I wanted to felt like a punishment. My hands moved up under her shirt, finding the underwire of her bra. I wanted inside her softness so bad that it was killing me. “I really wish I could give you a proper fucking greeting.”

  She laughed as I pushed her small frame against the kitchen sink. “I like how you threw the word fucking in there.”

  My fingers stilled, and I bent my head sideways so she could see the truth in my eyes. “It’s never just about the fucking with you. You know that, right?”

  Her hand reached up to cup the back of my neck. “I know that, but I love how you bring out the fun in me. And I also love your displays of affection—your little touches and shared glances. And I really like that no one else gets them but me.”

  This woman made me wish I could take an eraser to my past and wipe the slate clean. Forget about all the nameless faces and meaningless fucks that used to fill my time. This was as real as it gets.

  “After he goes to bed tonight, you’re all mine.”

  She ran her tongue along her bottom lip, causing my dick to jump in my pants. Damn her.

  “I like the sound of that.”

  The patter of footsteps along the hardwood floor told us that our time was up. Tanner rounded the corner with his eyebrow raised. “Jack and Chloe, sitting in a tree…K.I.S.S.I.N.G…first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in a baby carriage,” he sang out.

  Chloe buried her face in my chest and laughed. I felt the corner of my mouth tug into a grin.

  She pulled away to straighten out her shirt. “Are you guys ready?” I asked, looking at the time on my phone. We still had a few hours of daylight left.

  Tanner’s head popped up. “I’m so ready.” He sounded like he was ready to rock and roll.

  I cleared my throat and prayed like hell that he would crash and burn by the end of the night because I had plans for his mother later. “Okay, do you have your list ready?”

  When we spoke this week, I told him to make a list of all the places he wanted to see. As soon as he pulled it out of his pocket and handed it to me, I knew I was screwed.

  I scratched the top of my head as my eyes scanned the wrinkled piece of paper. “Uh…as fun as all this sounds, there is no way we would be able to fit it all in. How about this,” I offered. “We can do Rockefeller Plaza and Times Square tonight, and then tomorrow we can do Central Park and the Yankees game.”

  Tanner tilted his head to the side. “What about the statue of Liberty, the Empire State Building, Wall Street, the Bronx Zoo, and the museums?”

  I looked at Chloe sideways for help. There was no way we could cross everything off this list in two days. And there was no way in hell I wanted to disappoint this kid.

  She leaned in and kissed his forehead. “Tanner, that is way too much to do in one weekend. We’ll have to save some stuff for when we come back.”

  “You mean we can come back again?” he asked, looking right at me. He still seemed a little disappointed, but I think he knew crossing everything off his list in one weekend wasn’t going to happen.

  “You both are welcome here anytime.” Hell, I would move them both up here in a heartbeat if I thought Chloe would say yes. I was in deep with this woman. Unfortunately, not the deep I wanted to be. That would change come later tonight.

  Tanner was passed out in my room, and Chloe was tucked against my side on the couch. I couldn’t remember a time when I had done so much walking around in the city. I was so damn tired, that if my building caught fire and the alarms blared, I’d lie on my couch and let the place burn down around me.

  I could honestly say that if I never stepped foot in that damn M&M store in Times Square again, it would be fine with me. The wall was covered with dispensers filled with M&Ms in every conceivable color. We got caught up in the moment as Tanner picked color after color until there was no more room left in his bags. By the time we got to the register, we had accumulated almost three pounds of candy. If I had known that you could charge fifteen bucks for a pound of colored M&M’s, I would have invested in that stock ages ago.

  True to my word, we managed to visit both Times Square and Rockefeller Center, and warded off a few of those dirty generic superhero characters that were begging for pictures and asking for money.

  I adjusted my neck against the back of the pillow. As exhausted as I was, I’ve never felt so content in my life.

  Chloe’s fingers were drawing small little circles along my bicep. “Why are you so quiet?”

  I picked at a piece of hair that had fallen onto my chest and twirled it around my finger. “Just thinking about how good things have been going between us.”

  Her fingers stilled on my shoulder. “You sound surprised.”

  How was I supposed to explain how I was feeling when I could barely make sense of it myself? Over the past couple of months, she had me wanting all the things I used to avoid. She had me questioning my past and made me feel things I swore I never would.

  “I guess I am in a way because this is all new to me,” I explained, giving her leg a squeeze.

  She sat up and stretched her arm out so she could lay her head on it. “You’ve really never been in relationships before?”

  I looked down at the small dusting of freckles that you could barely see across her nose. She was so naturally beautiful that sometimes I wondered what the hell she was doing with a guy like me.

  “I dated a girl in high school. We were together for four months. Does that count?”

  She lifted her head to look at me. “If you cared about her, and she mattered to you, then I guess it counts.”

  I wasn’t going to tell her that I really didn’t care about Victoria. There was no need to make myself look like an asshole. In my defense, I was just a typical seventeen-year-old boy looking to get laid. Once I learned that attracting and catching women was easy for me, it became the first and last relationship I ever had. Quite honestly, I enjoyed the chase much more than the catch. And as they say, variety is the spice of life.

  My hands went to her hips, and I pulled her over the top of me until she was completely straddling my lap. “How about you? What’s the longest you’ve ever been with somebody?”

  Her eyes closed, but I kept mine open so I could stare at her. “Three years.”

  “That’s a long time,” I said, forcing myself to swallow. She looked sad, and I mentally kicked myself for asking the question to begin with. “I’m assuming it’s the guy you told me about, the one you dated in college?”

  “Yes.” Everything around us went quiet as she stared across the room, doing everything she could to avoid meeting my eyes.

  She leaned her head down on my shoulder as my arms wrapped around her. It hit me at that moment that I was in love with her. So in love with her, that the thought of having to fight for space in her heart was painful to even think about.

  I rubbed her back trying to calm my racing thoughts. “Do you still keep in t
ouch with him?” I’ve never felt jealousy before, and I must admit it wasn’t a good feeling. I knew she had a past, but the difference was, I’ve never loved anyone before, and it bugged me to think of her having feelings for someone other than me.

  She kissed my shoulder and whispered, “It was a long time ago, Jack. I’m not going to lie, he was someone very important to me.” She sighed and sat up a little bit so she could look in my eyes. “He was my first love. We were both so young and naïve. But at the end of the day, we both wanted different things out of life, and neither one of us was willing to compromise enough to make it work. It took me a long time to realize that what we had wasn’t strong enough; it was easier to walk away than to fight for what we had. That’s not the type of foundation you build a future with.”

  “You know, I have to ask out of curiosity because we real estate guys love to use building analogies.” I quirked an eyebrow. “How does our foundation look so far?”

  She looked at me—really looked at me—as if she could see just how vulnerable I was with her despite my attempt at humor. Whoever the hell this guy was, he was her first love. Isn’t that the love all women compare everything that follows to? Not to mention, he had years with her while I only had months.

  “Jack. Every relationship has peaks and valleys. I know from experience that our foundation will get shaky at times, but we’ll keep working on it.” She brushed away a piece of hair that had fallen on my forehead and paused “I love you, Jack.”

  Fuck. I loved hearing those words from her. It took me a moment to recover, to let them sink in.

  I brought my hands to her face, pulling her mouth to mine. “I love you too. You know that, right?”

  She smiled. “I do now.”

  Being with Chloe and Tanner gave me a sense of belonging I’ve never felt before. My entire life had always felt like one big jigsaw puzzle with a missing piece, and now it felt like the full picture was finally coming together.

  Chapter 18

  Chloe

  We had spent the last fifteen minutes standing in line at one of the souvenir tents at Yankees stadium. By the time we finally made it up to the counter, Tanner still hadn’t figured out what he wanted. The poor lady kept pointing to the different T-shirts and sweatshirts, but Tanner was too overwhelmed to decide. Seeing that the line behind us was growing by the second, and the grumbling fans were getting impatient and just wanted to return to their seats before the game started, it was time to make a move. Jack jumped in and took charge.

  Tanner’s head looked like it might spin off his shoulders when she handed him his bag of swag, which included one of everything.

  After Jack paid for the souvenirs, we moved over to the food stand, and Tanner was no better at making a decision. Everything in New York just moved at a much quicker pace, and people were less patient than what he was used to.

  Jack took charge again and ordered our hot dogs, nachos, popcorn, cotton candy, and sodas. He pulled out his wallet to pay, but I beat him to it. This caused him to sulk in his seat and continually try to stuff rolled-up dollar bills in the pockets of my jean shorts. By the third inning, he finally gave up. I refused to let him pay for everything.

  My son was all smiles, chirping about the last hit from his favorite player, while I sat back as they both continued to talk about the stats for the game.

  Tanner was enjoying the booing of the crowd, cursing at the umps, and he got really excited when it was time to root for the Yankees. There was no doubt he would remember this day for a long time.

  Jack reached over and tugged on my hair. “Are you having fun?”

  “Are you kidding me?” I yelled in his ear over the noisy crowd as one of our players passed home plate. “This is awesome. I’m having a great time.”

  “I like having you both here,” he said, causing my heart to flutter. “Thank you for this.”

  I tipped my head to his shoulder and looked up into his eyes that matched the crystal blue sky. “I should be thanking you.”

  “Mom, look!” Tanner shouted, pointing at the Jumbotron, panning the crowd with the Kiss Cam. Square in the middle of the lens were the three of us.

  Slowly, the chants and whistles started to build, calling for a kiss in front of 52,000 screaming fans.

  “Well, what do you know? The old Kiss Cam.” Jack grinned as he reached over my seat and pulled me up, completing a dramatic, crowd-pleasing kiss.

  Tanner went nuts as the camera stayed focused on us the whole time. Jack decided to give the crowd a show and leaned me back for an old-time movie dip. He laughed against my mouth when the stadium announcer suggested we might want to get a room. This was a kiss and a day that I would never forget.

  The guy behind us clapped Jack on the shoulder and asked if we wanted him to take our picture. Jack stood up and surprised me when he pulled Tanner up from his seat and pulled us each against his side for a group pose with the infield diamond as our background.

  “All right folks, on the count of three say, ‘Boston Sucks. One…Two…Three…’” His comment made us laugh as he snapped a few photos.

  Once he was finished, he handed Jack back his phone, and they shook hands. “Thanks, man. I appreciate it.”

  “You’ve got a beautiful family. I would totally be showing off those pictures if I were you.”

  The guy sat back down in his seat, and for a brief moment, I wished that we were an actual family. I took a sip of my soda and tried not to think too much about his comment.

  Jack smiled and thanked the man again. He handed Tanner the phone, so he could look at the pictures and take a few of his own as the players ran back out to the field. He must have noticed my blush because he poked me in the nose with his finger. “You’re cute when you get embarrassed, you know that?”

  “If you say so.” I laughed through my shaky voice. All the attention and the excitement of this weekend was finally catching up to me. Jack deserved a family of his own and a woman who didn’t lie to him.

  He finally opened up to me last night about his mom. We talked about her drinking and the infidelity. He confessed that living in the shadows of his parents’ relationship did more damage than he realized. He was convinced that I was nothing like her and that’s what attracted him to me in the beginning. He put me up on this pedestal and believed that I was this strong, amazing warrior of a woman. He was wrong because I was selfish and he deserved better.

  He wasn’t just falling for me, but he was falling for my son too. A little boy who would never be his, no matter how much he wanted him to be. I knew that I had to tell him the truth about Tanner’s father. It was stupid of me to think that I could just forget my past and start over. As much as I wanted this life with him, I wasn’t sure I would ever have it.

  “Are you going to be okay?” Jack asked, resting his hand on my knee from under the table. We were seated at a rooftop terrace restaurant overlooking the Empire State Building. It was warm and clear, the perfect summer night.

  Despite the great view and perfect weather, I was a bit anxious about leaving Tanner behind with Jack’s assistant. He assured me that Jonathan was also a close friend and great with kids and that Tanner was in good hands.

  “I’ll survive,” I told him and reminded myself that it was only going to be a couple of hours. I looked down at my dark green dress and tried to calm my nerves.

  “So, Chloe. How did the sightseeing go today?” his friend Nick asked from across the table as the waiter poured water into our glasses.

  I smiled, thinking about the perfect afternoon we spent and our carriage ride through the park. Our driver told us funny stories and even did a sleight-of-hand trick where he pulled a quarter out of Tanner’s ear.

  “It was great. Tanner loved the Yankees game, and he really enjoyed the carriage ride through Central Park.”

  Nick smirked. “Carriage ride, huh? Aren’t you just Lance Romance?”

  Jack picked up his drink and brought it to his lips. “Don’t knock it till you try it, as
shole. Seemed to go over pretty well with my fan club.”

  Our server came back and asked if we were ready to order.

  Cassie rubbed her belly as she debated over her menu options. “I’m going to have the bacon double cheeseburger, french fries, a chocolate milkshake, and please bring a side of broccoli. Oh, and can you make sure there are sweet pickles on the burger and bring a bowl of gravy for the fries if you have it.”

  “Like you’re really going to eat that side of broccoli,” Nick teased with a chuckle.

  She swatted his shoulder. “Hey, be nice. It’s a well-balanced meal.” She started to tick all the major food groups off with her fingers. “It has dairy, protein, carbs, and vegetables.” She smiled proudly and stuck out her tongue at him.

  “Yeah, well you might want to start looking into a Pediatric Cardiologist. Something tells me you might want to get the kids’ cholesterol checked after you pop those little suckers out.”

  Everyone at the table busted out laughing.

  “Shush your mouth.” She signaled for the waiter and held up the breadbasket. “Can you bring more rolls with extra butter, please?”

  The server took the breadbasket from her hands while we all continued laughing. He took down the rest of our orders. I decided on grilled lemon chicken and rice pilaf while Jack chose the lobster ravioli.

  “Okay,” Cassie impatiently said, once our server was gone. “Tell us, Chloe, what do you think of New York so far?” She blinked those big blue eyes at me. She was absolutely beautiful, even at seven months pregnant. “Can you picture yourself living here one day?”

  Her gaze landed on Jack. The love for her friend was evident on her face. He just shook his head and tightened his hold on my shoulder.