by Amy Davies
“You ready?” I ask Solar as Jasmine comes to stand next to him. Ana slides her hand into mine, making my breath hitch. He nods, and we follow the coffin into the final resting place of the woman who gave us life.
Listening to Zarah talking about the type of woman my mum was, makes me want to throw up. The thought of never seeing her again… My chest feels like a ten-ton lorry is sitting on it. My fists clench and unclench as I try to bring my emotions under control.
A tiny, soft hand slides over my rough, tanned ones. My skin erupts in goose bumps as Ana takes my hand in hers and gives me a little squeeze.
After Zarah settles back down in her seat, Ana steps up to the altar to say a few words about Mum, and I know I can’t follow up with my own. I’m drowning in emotion. I look at Aiden and see he’s taking in every word she’s saying, just like he did when Zarah spoke. I see regret pass over his face. Does he wish he looked for us sooner?
Once the funeral is over, everyone comes over to Aiden, Ana and me and gives us their condolences for Mum’s passing. I hate it. I just want to get absolutely fucking hammered. I just want today to be over with.
After we get back to the clubhouse, Aiden explains to me about the wanker of a man who is our father. He tells me he died a while ago. I feel fuck all for the man. We talk about staying in touch—for fucks sake, we are blood brothers. Then I watch as they drive off.
I stand there for fuck knows how long, watching the clouds move across the sky. Mum always used to say to enjoy the little things. Most of the time, when she said that, it was when Ana was in the room. It was her way of telling me to enjoy Ana and all the little things she does, and to make sure I don’t miss anything. Just like she missed to much of Aiden’s life; she never got to meet her grandson and future grandkids.
“How you doing, brother?” Court asks as he steps up beside me.
“Fuck knows, man. I feel numb and empty, as girly as that sounds. But it’s the fucking truth. I miss her, man.” I swallow hard.
“Life is fucking shit, Ace. Nothing we can do about it but live it to the max. Don’t regret anything, that’s what I always say. You know that.” I nod because he’s saying the truth; he doesn’t regret a fucking thing he does.
Court got his road name when he became the club’s lawyer. Yep, Court is a fully-qualified lawyer. Not that he can practice law anymore.
He was defending some prick his company made him defend.
The guy was a piece of work, and one day he said the wrong thing in the courtroom. Our Court decked him, laid the fucker out, so he got fired and then later disbarred. He served eighteen-months for assault. He joined the club as soon as he came out and hasn't looked back.
“Go inside and down a few shots, get fucking smashed, man. You deserve it. Nancy was a badarse lady, and she will be missed.” With them parting words, he walks back into the clubhouse.
His words sink in and I know he’s right. Now is the time to regret nothing. Now is the time to remember all the little things and always get what’s mine.
Ana
I pick up the dirty glasses and carry them into the kitchen for the girls to clean and get back out to the bar. The boys are drinking up a storm. Some of the club girls weren’t happy they had to help, but Suede put his foot down and made them do it.
Clover keeps glaring at me, but I try my best to ignore her. She’s the main girl here who wants to sink her claws into Ace. Bile threatens to rise with the thoughts of them being together, because I know Ace has slept with her before. He’s probably slept with all the club girls here. I force the gut-wrenching thoughts out of my head and carry on cleaning up.
I walk back out into the bar, carrying a tray of already clean glasses. I smile at Suede and Lola as I pass. They are amazing together. Lola once told me they had a difficult time getting together due to her strict parents, but her love for Suede won in the end. I hear a bark of laughter and turn to see some of the boys sitting around one of the tables, drinks in hand, laughing and talking about Lord knows what.
My gaze scans the room and I see Ace sitting with Batch and Dyson. He must sense me looking at him because his head lifts and his eyes meets mine. The smile that crosses his face makes my breath catch in my throat. A look of longing and wickedness fills his gaze.
I smile back at him and carry on my walk towards the bar. I place the full tray on top of the bar and go about putting them away. Once that’s done I walk back to the kitchen. I’m almost there when I’m pushed against the wall, but not forcefully. The scent of leather, smoke and oil surrounds me.
“Do you know how much I want you?” Ace’s husky voice floats into my ear. His warm breath coats the bare skin on my neck.
“I do,” I whisper back. His hands trail up my sides, over my ribs, but stop before touching my breasts. One hand stays below my left breast while the other slides down to my hip. Ace grips the hem of my black dress and starts to pull it up. Panic rises inside me as anyone can walk down the hallway and catch us.
I reach down and stop his movements.
“What?” he asks.
“You need to stop. It’s not the place, honey.”
“Baby, it’s always the place when me and you are concerned.”
“Ace, stop. Later,” I reply.
“Promise.” I nod, no words forming as his left hand moves to cup my breast.
“Ace.”
“Promise me, baby. Promise me I get to finally touch you later. That I get to taste you like I know we both want.”
My heart rate spikes and my palms start to sweat—and I am pretty sure he can feel that as my hand is still resting on top of his. His beard scratches my neck as he leans in to kiss the bare skin. Goose bumps cover my body at the contact.
“I promise, Ace.” My voice isn’t quite sounding like me. He leans in more, scraping his teeth over the tendon in my neck. I moan, making Ace growl in reply. His erection is pressing into my backside, making my core throb in delight and want.
“Good, baby. Don’t make me come hunting for you.”
“I won’t. I’ll be here. Always.”
“Always, baby. Always. Now go and help the other old ladies. I’ll catch you later.” He walks away, leaving me to shiver and missing his contact. I rest my head on the cool wall, willing my body to calm down. I smile to myself, thinking about all the wicked things he will be doing to me later.
There’s no point in trying to stop this from happening anymore. Ace always gets what he wants, and it’s evident he wants me. Little Ana Dawkins.
“He’ll get bored you know.” The voice that grates on my nerves comes from my left. I straighten up and turn to face Clover.
“Leave me alone, Clover.” She laughs in my face, making my back go rod straight.
“You can never handle a man like Ace. He likes… well, let’s say certain things done to him during sex. Things I know a bratty little girl like you would never do. Ace don’t do vanilla, bitch. So I suggest you walk the fuck away.” Her voice gets louder as she baffles on.
“What happens with me and Ace is none of your concern, so I suggest you walk away.”
“Don’t you see that he only ever wanted you because you were a challenge for him? You were there at the cafe and he saw you as a challenge.” Her words are like a barb to the heart. It hurts like hell. Surely she can’t be correct?
“Now that Nancy is dead, he can sell the cafe and you will be a long forgotten memory of pussy that wouldn’t give it up to him.” I gasp at her vile words.
“SHUT UP! You don’t get to talk about Nancy or the cafe to me. Now back the fuck off.” My temper is rising, and I swear to God I will knock this chick out if she continues to mouth off. I hate confrontation, but sometimes my inner bitch comes out to play.
“Just leave, Ana, then Ace can go back to shagging me on a regular basis and I can suck his cock, just like he likes it. Just like I did the other night.” I gag and cover my mouth with my hand. Bile almost wins its race in leaving my stomach. Clover smirks at me because
she knows she’s hurt me.
“What the fuck is this?” Lola questions, while walking down the hallway.
“Nothing, Lola. Just telling Ana how things are around here.” I lock eyes with Lola and hers narrow on me. I drop my hand and step around them both. I walk through the main room and make a beeline for the front door. I need air.
“Ana.” I ignore the person calling my name and push through the door.
“Stop, now,” another voice comes.
“Smallie?” Zarah’s voice makes my steps falter. I finally stop over by the picnic bench and take a seat. I close my eyes and take a few deep breaths, hoping it will stop the need to vomit over the table.
I watch as Zarah’s shadow looms over me before she takes a seat opposite me. We sit in silence for a few moments, neither of us saying anything. The stillness is peaceful, yet it doesn’t calm my raging heart and the thoughts of him with her.
I knew he had been with other girls before, but I thought that since he was after me, he wouldn’t be with the club girls. Clearly, I was wrong about him.
“Smallie, talk to me.” Z’s voice breaks through the visions in my head.
“I thought he was different. Don’t get me wrong, I know what goes on in the club, but the way Ace is with me… I just thought he was different. I guess not.”
“Talk to him, hun. You know what these skanks are like. They like stirring shit.” Her hand covers mine, offering me a gentle squeeze.
“I don’t know,” I whisper.
“I know you like him—if not more.” I go to speak but she lifts her hand to stop me. “Stop hiding it. You feel for him; you know you do. Now pull your big girl knickers up and go in there and claim your man.” She wiggles her eyebrows at me, making me giggle. She looks at me with such love and adoration in her eyes that I can’t find it in me to let her down. She’s right: I do deserve happiness, and if that happiness is in the form of Ace McGowan, the Unforgiven Riders’ Sergeant-at-Arms, then so be it.
“He can hurt me, Z,” I mutter.
“And he may not. You can’t keep thinking every man will hurt you. We’ve been over this before. Give it a try.”
I think over her words, letting them sink in good and proper.
“He likes the attention he gets from the club girls, and I can’t compete with them, Zarah. He’s been free to sleep with anyone and everyone for years. He isn’t going to change overnight, and that scares the hell out of me.” I pull the black hair tie from my wrist and haphazardly tie my hair back. I know little tendrils of hair will come loose, but for now it will have to do.
“You are bloody beautiful, and no one will tell you any different. Ace likes you for you, Ana, not because he thinks you’ll give a good blowjob and are a firecracker in bed. He sees beyond that with you.”
“And thank you for the mental image of Ace in bed with many other women.” Zarah sighs and looks away. My chest tightens at the disappointment on her face. I have always suffered with images issues—thanks to the wanker who no longer shall be named.
I need to do this for me, and for Zarah. I need to show her I’m ready to move on, that I’m ready to take back my life and be Ana Dawkins. The girl who once used to be quick-witted and feisty, just like her big sister.
“I’m gonna do it.” I stand up with my determination, but forget that I’m sitting on a picnic bench. My legs jam against the seat, and I lose my balance and go flying backwards onto the grass.
“Small—” But her laughter cuts off her words. I lay there staring up at the clear blue sky, laughing my arse off. Zarah’s laughter fills the air above me. Bitch.
Once we stop laughing, I lean up on my elbows and look at my sister. She’s wiping tears from her eyes, and her smile’s filling her once again unmarked face.
“A little help here, big sis.” She takes a deep breath before coming around to my side and lifting me to my feet.
“Classy, Miss Dawkins. Classy as fuck.” We laugh again, and I link arms with her as we walk back into the clubhouse.
Zarah pushes through the door, and I follow. Music is still playing loudly through the speakers. The brothers are all mulling around, if in different parts of the room. I see Lola sitting next to Suede in the corner. His face buried in her neck, making her giggle and slap his chest. Her eyes connect with mine, and she offers me a small nod. She knows what I’m about to do.
I look around the room and see Ace standing by the bar with Dyson and Court. Double D is standing way too close for my liking, but she’s about to be put in her place. Hopefully.
“You got this,” Zarah whispers in my ear before walking off to sit with EC and some of the other boys. They all take care of Zarah. I think Ace has threatened them a few times to keep their hands off her.
I take slow steps towards the bar. Court watches me from the corner of his eye but doesn’t say anything. As I get closer, Dyson spots me and offers me a short nod, but he never stops talking. Double D sees the action and looks over her shoulder at me, before stepping closer to Ace. He pulls away, but it’s not enough and she runs her hand up his chest. My fists curl into balls, ready to punch her if needed. I am not a violent person, but these club girls bring the nasty side out in me.
“Ana,” Dyson says in greeting. Ace’s head snaps in my direction, but he doesn’t say anything. I raise an eyebrow at him and my gaze moves from his to Double D’s hand, and then back to his eyes, showing him I’m not happy. She got her name when she joined the club—as you can guess, she loves two dicks in her at once.
“When will you ever learn, Ana? You can’t handle the men in this club.”
I don’t back down or cower from her words. I need to stand up to these so-called women.
“I’m not after any other man in the club…” Now it’s Ace’s turn to raise an eyebrow at me. “Except for the man you’re touching. So do us all a favour and live up to your name and piss off.” I rest my hands on my hips. Dyson and Court fail to stop their laughter breaking free. Ace looks smugly at me. He likes the idea of me fighting with other girls over him. I wink at him and he tries to move away from the skank, but she steps with him.
“Any time now would be good for me,” I add. She scowls at me and takes a step closer.
Ace
I can’t take my eyes off my girl as she faces-off with Double D. It’s sexy as fuck to see how she’s standing up to a club girl over me. Me; the man she said she could never be with.
“Any time now would be good for me,” Ana tells Double D.
“What are you going to do, Ana Banana?” I see the fire ignite in my girl’s eyes. She fucking hates being called that. Ana has a weird hatred for bananas. The word, the smell, the actual fruit.
I step closer to Ana and wrap my arm around her waist. Her heat soaks into my side.
“I suggest you find another man to keep you company from now on, Margret.” Ana uses Double D’s birth name, and it sends her into a fit of rage. She hates her birth name as much as Ana hates the nickname.
“Shut the fuck up, you little cunt.”
“Double D, watch your mouth,” I tell her with a growl. She smirks at me and my stomach drops with dread about what will come out of her mouth next.
“You didn’t mind my mouth the other day. Or the time before that. Or—"
“SHUT UP,” I yell, making the room go silent, and both women jump. Ana steps away from me, looking like she’s ready to cry. My heart cracks at that single look.
“Ana, baby—”
“Don’t.” She puts her hand up, motioning me to stop talking. “God, how stupid was I to think you were different.”
“She’s lying.”
“Really, Ace, that’s what you’re going with?”
“It was before things got heated between us.”
“But you’ve been actively pursuing me for over a year, Ace. So while I was thinking with my head and my heart, you were thinking with your dick. Nice to know I mean that much to you.”
“You mean everything to me, babe. You know
that.” I step closer to her, hooking my hand around her neck, keeping her from moving away from me. “Every-fucking-thing.” I lean in and lay a kiss on her lips. It’s not a claiming kiss, but it’s a kiss full of promise.
“Ace, I—” I cut her off and spin her around so her back is to my front. I whistle loudly, getting everyone’s attention.
“Listen up, fuckers. See this woman here?” I tighten my grip on Ana’s waist. “You will show her the respect you show me and the club. Ana is my old lady, officially as of today. Anyone, and I mean any fucker, who disrespects her, is showing a direct insult to me. You will be kicked out of the club—unless you wear a patch, and then you get a fucking beating from me.”
“And me,” Dyson adds.
“Me too,” Suede shouts from his seat in the corner. I look around the room and see the boys nod at me.
“Are you fucking serious? Her—when you can have any woman you want?” DD says, disgust dripping from her voice.
I spin around so fast Ana almost trips over. I right her body and push her in Dyson’s direction slightly.
“Know your fucking place, bitch,” I growl, and step closer. “You are here to be fucked by the brothers who want to get their dicks wet, and that’s all. Your opinion is not needed, nor fucking wanted. You get me?”
“But her...” Double D points at Ana. “Come on, Ace. Really? You can do so much better.”
Fuck me, she never listens.
“Clearly he can do better, because he came to me after being with all you club girls. If the other boys want to sleep with you, they can, but from now on, stay the hell away from Ace.” Fuck me, my girl just claimed me back. In a split second, Double D flies at Ana. Her war cry could be heard miles away from how high-pitched it goes.
“YOU CUNT!” I watch in disbelief as Double D slams into Ana. They both go flying to the floor. Double D is on top of Ana, throwing slap after slap, but my girl is defending her face. I move to separate them, but Ana rolls and pins Double D to the floor. Now it’s Ana’s turn to take the lead.