by Wood, Lauren
“Quinn,” Klaus greeted.
“Klaus.” And then she looked at me, but I didn’t say anything. We would talk about her discretion at a later time.
“You hit that!” Klaus exclaimed, his voice low so that the ladies wouldn’t be able to hear.
“Klaus,” I said, exaggeratedly.
But he wasn’t going to let it go. “You did,” he reiterated. “How did it feel? Was she any good?”
“Klaus.”
“Just answer my questions, and I’ll let it go.”
“Yes, we had sex,” I told him, evenly. “Is that what you wanted to hear?”
“I can’t believe it,” he told me. “My brother is sleeping with the help. A new chapter of his life.”
All of my life, I’d been forced to learn how to tune my brother out because of all of the nonsense that tended to spew from his lips. Usually, he was wrong, but this time he was right, and I just didn’t want to admit it. I didn’t have to tell him everything, after all.
10
Quinn
I couldn’t believe that it had been a month since our tryst. How did time fly by so fast? I could remember sleeping with Ezra as if it was yesterday. I felt the phantom of his touches on my neck, breasts, and other parts of my skin. I could still feel his lips wrapped around my nipple and on my clit. But it hadn’t been yesterday, far from it, even though I wished that it had been.
And the worst part was that Ezra had been wrong. Sleeping with him, not once, but twice, was supposed to make us stop longing for each other. It had only made me want him more, which was a fear that I’d had before we even slept together. And it turned out, I was right…unless it wasn’t mutual. Although I doubted that was the case.
I knew that Ezra wanted me again. I could tell it by the way he looked at me sometimes or stared after me with that obvious lust in his eyes. He had made good on his promise, though. It wasn’t going to happen again, even if there was nothing more I wanted than to feel his sweaty body against mine one more time.
Ezra was, by far, the best lover that I’d ever had. He wasn’t the only one. I’d had two lovers in the past, and before Ezra, had sex four times before that. And it wasn’t that they were terrible. In fact, at the time I’d thought that they were good, but that was because I hadn’t known what to expect. I hadn’t known what was good and what was bad. To me, it hadn’t been anything spectacular, just a chore that women did in their free time, for the benefit of the guy. I hadn’t even dared to think that there could be more to it.
But Ezra had taught me a lesson that I would never be able to forget. Sex and lovemaking were supposed to be equally as good for the woman as for the man. I was supposed to be pleasured, and I was supposed to feel good. It wasn’t just about the guy. And what Ezra had shown me had made me obsessed. The way that he’d sucked and kissed me had been the best thing that I’d ever felt, and everything in me wanted more.
Morgan told me that finding a man to give you good sex was a hard task. And if I had found that, then I needed to hang onto him…although that was far easier said than done in my case.
Our sex had been passionate and rough, definitely not what I had expected from him, and something I was unfamiliar with. But it had happened, and I needed to stop thinking about it now. It was over and done with, and I knew that. So, why couldn’t I get that through my thick head?
It had happened, and now it was over.
Sandwiches had seemed like an ideal lunch today, although working for Ezra meant that they weren’t just normal sandwiches. Ezra bought the most expensive pumpernickel bread, and I made sure to toast it ever slightly before adding the meats and cheeses that he and Paige liked. Then, I grabbed some white cheddar popcorn as a side and poured glasses of water before setting everything around the table.
While I waited for Paige and Ezra to come and take a seat, all I could think about was how much our relationship had changed in the previous month. No, we were no longer sexual towards each other, and he hadn’t touched me. That didn’t mean that he was cold-hearted as he used to be.
In fact, it was quite the opposite. We were much flirtier than we used to be. Our conversations were friendlier and more sensual. Everything was just better, as weird as that sounded. And I was happy with it, but even with that being said, I wanted more. I didn’t just want to be a nanny to Ezra even if that was all I was destined to be in his eyes.
“The food looks amazing, Quinn,” Ezra commented as he walked to the table, putting a hand on my shoulder and grinning before taking a seat. Just like usual, Paige was chatting away about anything and everything, with me and Ezra adding in little comments here and there wherever we felt that our input was needed.
In the past, our relationship had been strictly professional. I didn’t do anything without his say so, and he watched me like a hawk at all times. And it was refreshing to be able to say that was no longer the case.
Now, we were friends. Or, at least, I liked to think that we were. To be completely honest, I didn’t know what was going through his mind most of the time, but I liked to think that he, at least, agreed that we were closer than we had been, in the past. Having sex had opened us up to be different around each other, and maybe I should have been grateful for that, rather than wanting more.
What was better than being able to say that I was friends with him? Ezra didn’t have very many friends, although I was sure that had to do with the fact that he didn’t like very many people. I had a privilege that I was sure many people wanted but nobody was awarded. Ezra liked to be by himself, without distractions, so it was amazing that he was finally letting me into his life the way that I wanted.
Even if a part of me wanted more, I was happy with the newfound friendship we’d managed. It was better than when he had been snapping at me all of the time or was cold towards me for no reason.
“Daddy, are you still going to take me to the park?” Paige asked once she had finished eating, her eyes bright with happiness and excitement. She was a very cute little girl who found joy in all of the smallest things. “You told me yesterday that you were going to take me. You promised.”
“Well, you know if Daddy makes a promise, then he’s going to follow through.” He picked her up, and she started giggling.
Ezra looked at me. “Do you want to come?” he asked.
“Sounds fun,” I told him with a grin on my lips. “Just let me clean up real quick.”
I picked up all of the plates and washed them before putting them into the dishwasher and starting it, considering that I hadn’t done so the night before. Then, I grabbed the spray from underneath the sink, and sprayed it on the counters before wiping it all down. Afterwards, I grabbed a broom to begin sweeping up everything.
My phone began ringing just as I finished, and I put the broom down before answering. “Hello?”
Ezra was staring at me, and I could see him out of the corner of my eye. I wanted to tell him to stop because he was distracting me, but I knew better than to do that. Instead, I gently bit my bottom lip and turned my back to him so that I wasn’t looking at him.
“Is this Quinn Sharpe?” The voice on the phone asked.
“Uh, yes it is.” I pulled the phone away from my ear to look at the caller ID. It said my mother. That was weird. Why would someone have her phone? “Can I ask who I’m speaking with?”
“It’s her doctor, Dr. Richards,” he introduced himself. I could feel my entire body freeze when I realized who I was talking to. “I’m calling about your mother. Unfortunately, she has been admitted to our hospital because of heart failure. Her health is continuing to deteriorate although we’re currently doing everything that we can for her. Her odds don’t look wonderful, and we think it would be best if you came here to be with her in case these are her last days. From our records, you are her only living relative, correct?”
My heart is pounding against my chest, and trying to settle it was harder than I would have thought. This couldn’t be happening. My head was beginning to spin.
“Yes, I’m…” my breath wasn’t coming out the way that I wanted. “I’m her daughter.”
“Then we do ask that you come here, immediately.” The phone went dead, leaving me to attempt to gauge this news on my own. She was my only living blood relative, and now she was dying. What was I supposed to do with the news that my mother was dying? All I could feel was panic rising inside of me.
There was no way that this was happening right now. I had to put my life on hold at once. I needed to be with her because if these were her last days, she deserved to have her daughter holding her hand on her deathbed.
To let the news digest, all I wanted was to fall to the floor, wrap my arms around my legs and cry. Of course I had known that my mother’s health wasn’t the best, but that didn’t mean I’d ever pictured that she would die, not really. She was my mom, and I didn’t want to lose her. Just because I didn’t see her every day didn’t mean that I didn’t love her, that I didn’t wish that I could be with her.
I took deep breaths in an attempt to calm myself down, as the tears began to flow from my eyes. I leaned against the counter, the small sobs leaving my throat even as I tried to quiet them. I had never fought for control of my body so much just to lose the battle.
My entire body jolted when I felt someone behind me, tapping my shoulder. My immediate thoughts were that it was Paige. And I wanted to stop crying, stop being sad, because seeing me would make her sad, as well. I just wasn’t able to stop the waterfall of tears pouring down my cheeks.
“Quinn.” It wasn’t Paige. I recognized the voice as Ezra, and I stood up and turned around, slowly to look at him before wiping my nose. There was concern written all over his face, and he looked beyond worried. I never let my emotions dictate me or my personality on the job. This was different.
“What’s the matter?”
“I need to go,” I told him, sniffing. “I have to go. I really need to leave. Is that okay?” I was hyperventilating from all of the crying and the amount of fear that was wrecking throughout my body. “I’ve never taken a leave, and I know this isn’t the most conventional job, but I’ve got to go. Is that going to be okay? Please tell me that it is.”
Ezra seemed completely overwhelmed with my answer as he pulled me against his chest, letting me cry against his shirt and soak it with my tears.
“Of course,” he told me, his voice low, as he did his best to console me. “What’s going on?”
“My mother’s dying,” I told him, honestly. “She’s dying, and I need to be there for her. So, please let me go.”
“You’re free, Quinn,” he told me. “Take as much time as you need.”
“Thank you,” I said. “I have to leave.”
“I know.”
I nodded my head and went upstairs without saying anything else, fighting hard to keep my emotions under check. I didn’t know how long I was going to be gone, so I found myself packing outfits for every season also because I hadn’t been back home in a long time, so I didn’t know what to expect out of the weather.
I threw sweaters, dresses, tank tops, and anything else I could grab into my suitcase, preparing to go back home. Once, I finished packing up the suitcases, I went to the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. My jaw dropped when I realized how much of a mess I looked. My face was already red and puffy, and my nose was still running.
In an attempt to calm myself down, I ran a hot shower and got into it. Steam, for some reason, always made me feel better, and it gave my sinuses some much needed heat and air. When I got out, I wrapped a towel around my body and decided against makeup, considering I would probably cry again. I didn’t feel like dealing with my hair, so it went up in a loose ponytail.
When I was back in my room, I pulled on a pair of sweatpants and a casual shirt and stepped into some tennis shoes. I tried to find an airplane ticket but failed because the earliest flight wasn’t for another two days. I was going to be forced to make that ten-hour drive.
But anything was worth it for my mother. I would just have to remember to fill up fairly often so that I didn’t run out of gas. Once finished, I took everything and went downstairs to find that Ezra and Paige still were at the house. I thought that they would be at the park by now.
“Why can’t Quinn come with us?” I stopped on the staircase, as I heard Paige’s voice. “I really wanted her to come to the park with us.”
“She has things to do, baby,” Ezra attempted to explain to her, but she was full of so many questions, ones that he was trying hard not to explain, in an effort not to make her sad.
I continued walking down the stairs and only stopped when Ezra put a hand on my shoulder before I could walk out of the front door. He managed to keep Paige in the kitchen, which I knew was a harder task than that met the eye.
“Is there anything that I can get you before you leave?” he asked me, and I could tell that he was being genuine. He really did want to help if he could.
All I could do was stare at him, as I thought about how our relationship had changed this last month. And the more I looked into those big blue eyes, the more that I knew that there was only one thing that I wanted from him, only one thing that he could do for me.
I leaned up and kissed him.
I didn’t know what I was looking for or trying to accomplish. All I had known was that somehow, someway, kissing him was going to make me feel better. I proved myself right when he kissed me back.
11
Ezra
Why was I missing Quinn so much? She had only been gone for two weeks. I shouldn’t have cared enough about her to mind her absence, yet I did. It was driving me insane, not just my worry about her, but the fact that I cared. A good majority of my day was spent wondering if she was okay and how her mother was doing.
And the worst part was the fact that I wished that she was here with me or that I could be with her to support her because I knew that she didn’t have anyone else. I wondered how lonely she felt and what thoughts were going through her mind. I hadn’t cared this much about a woman since my late wife.
How weird was all of this? Quinn was the woman that I wanted so badly to forget about, yet she had imprinted my mind so strongly that I couldn’t get her out of it, regardless of how hard I tried. What was it about her that made me lose my mind, that made me push away all of my inhibitions?
Not to mention that kiss that we had shared before she left. She had surprised me. Her lips against mine were quick, and she knew exactly what she wanted. Even though I knew I should not have kissed her back, I couldn’t stop myself.
I was kissing her back and holding her against my body before she pulled away and left. When she left, I knew that it shouldn’t have happened, that it complicated our relationship even more than it already was.
Why was this happening to me? I was so attracted to her that it was ridiculous, that it could easily occupy my mind for hours, on end. And they weren’t just sexual thoughts. I wanted her more than I’d ever wanted anything in my life. Yes, I wanted to fuck her, but I also wanted to make love to her. I wanted to kiss her every day, several times a day. I wanted to please her and hug her and wake up to her beautiful face every morning.
Was there something wrong with me? Was I finally losing my mind?
Briefly, I remembered how I used to be, what I used to feel when I was in love with my late wife. And some of those feelings were being mirrored to me. I was beginning to experience them again with Quinn. I knew that I shouldn’t, that I couldn’t be in love with her. And to be fair, I didn’t think I knew her well enough for me to be in love.
But I definitely cared about her way more than I should. Way more than an employer should care about their employee. And that wasn’t something that I was okay with. I didn’t want to care for anyone other than my daughter.
After I finished dressing, I went downstairs and saw Ginny, our substitute nanny, setting the table. She wasn’t really like Quinn, and one way was because she preferred not to eat with us, for whatever reason. I n
ever asked her exactly why it was a problem to her.
“Good morning, sir,” she greeted me with a very kind smile. She was older than Quinn. She was in her forties, and her brown hair was showing signs of white. Her skin was beginning to wrinkle, and she wore far more makeup than she needed. She did her job well and was incredibly professional, which was exactly what we needed.
“You don’t have to call me sir,” I reminded her for the umpteenth time, and she simply nodded me off.
“That’s my preference.”
Ginny reminded me what this relationship was supposed to be like. Quinn and I were so unprofessional that I hadn’t even noticed until I had hired someone else. And I was just now realizing how much of a potential problem that was.
To say that Quinn and I were getting too close was an understatement. We needed some serious distance between the two of us. Lately, all I had wanted was her, to be with her, and even I had to admit that I’d noticed the changes in our relationship, that I’d noticed our budding friendship.
As much as I should have hated to say it, I had been enjoying this little thing that we had going on between the two of us. There was something so carefree and relaxing about it. There was nothing forced between us. When we laughed, it was genuine. When we flirted, it was genuine, even if I knew it shouldn’t be.
Our relationship was unconventional, yet, for some reason, it worked for us. However, we didn’t need to flirt. We didn’t need to be friends. All we needed to be was work colleagues. And we were acting like so much more than that.
As much as I enjoyed the time that I spent with Quinn, I didn’t want to be with her for two reasons. She worked for me, and Paige liked her too much for me to just go and fire her. But that was the only way that I could date her, and more than that, I didn’t even want to have a girlfriend.