For this reason, Elizabeth was immediately receptive to Kitty's invitation to visit Hunsford.
Dear sister, I should so like to introduce you to my home and my life in Kent, wrote Kitty.
Elizabeth realized she would enjoy that as well, and it would be a welcome change from the quiet. She was saddened at the idea of not seeing Mr. Wickham for some time, but the more she thought about the situation, the more she realized the distance would give her time to consider what she hoped for from their relationship, and she might also gain the clarity she longed for in deciding how to proceed.
"Meryton will be a sadder town without you," Wickham said when she told him of her planned trip. "With whom shall I converse? No one as amiable as Miss Elizabeth."
"I suspect you will survive the separation. Perhaps when I return, I will find you besotted with another girl, and I will be forgotten."
"It is more likely the moon will crash into the village square. It is not every day a man finds a friend such as you. It is not every lifetime."
Even though she was becoming more used to his compliments, this one was so effusive she felt her cheeks reddening. She had a fleeting thought that a trip to Hunsford would be a trip away from the danger of Mr. Wickham. If he kept speaking to her in such a way, she might lose her heart irredeemably.
"Promise me you will not forget me during your trip," Mr. Wickham said. "Even if Mr. Collins has an agreeable brother who is in search of a wife."
Elizabeth laughed. "There is no danger of that, sir. The man has no brothers."
Wickham smiled. "And hopefully no marriageable friends, either. I know it is selfish, but I will be imagining you seeing no one except your sister and her husband for the duration of your trip."
"Well," Elizabeth said with mock seriousness, "I might have the great honor of meeting the famous Lady Catherine de Bourgh during my time there. Do you think it possible I am worthy to look upon the face of such grace and glory?"
"You are aware I esteem you highly, madam, but no one could possibly be so worthy," said Wickham with a smile. "I suggest you shade your eyes so as not to be blinded by her brilliance."
"It shall be difficult, but I will persevere until I am good enough to exist in her presence. I hope you can live without me for an extended period, as I am certain such goodness will take some time to develop."
He stopped her and looked into her eyes. "I cannot, you know."
"Cannot what?"
"I cannot live without you. Hurry back, my dear Miss Elizabeth, before I die from a broken heart."
And with that, he gave her a low bow, turned, and began the return trip to Meryton, with a very conflicted Elizabeth watching his back.
* * *
Mr. Bennet insisted on accompanying Elizabeth on her trip to Kent. She was relieved for the company, as she did not relish the idea of going so far on her own. It surprised her that her father, who loved nothing more than being in his own library, would make such a trip.
"Well, I would like to see for myself that Kitty is settled in her new home," he said. "And who knows how much longer I have with you, Lizzy, before you are married and I cannot speak with you whenever the idea occurs to me."
"Papa, you act as if I am engaged."
"It could happen at any moment. Best not to squander any time,"
Elizabeth knew better than to say anything further, as her father would only use it as ammunition in a verbal game of which he was the master. Instead, she just smiled at him and thought to herself how much she appreciated his company.
Soon enough, bags were packed and the journey began. Elizabeth felt giddy at the prospect of the trip. She imagined how much she would enjoy seeing Kitty again, and how she would have a new area to explore on her walks. She imagined reading in the quiet of the sprawling garden that Kitty had spoken of in her letters. It would be a lovely change.
During the trip, Elizabeth and her father traded banter. There was no one in the world whom each preferred for a conversation partner more than the other. Mr. Bennet delighted in the fact Elizabeth had inherited his quick wit and his fondness for the absurd. Elizabeth was relieved to be able to voice her thoughts out loud without her mother censuring her for them. The trip seemed to fly by, so enjoyable was the company and the conversation.
"So, Lizzy, you have been spending quite a bit of time with Mr. Wickham," her father said, raising an eyebrow at her.
Elizabeth felt her cheeks redden. "We enjoy speaking to one another, Papa. That is all."
"Is it? Or ought I to be expecting a visit from him upon my return to Longbourn?"
"If he is to visit you, I have no idea of the reason," she responded.
"The fact you are being so very vague with me leads me to wonder if there is something you are not telling me. Your mother is convinced he will make you an offer any day, and now we speak of it, I am quite nearly convinced myself. From what I know of him, he will make an acceptable son-in-law. He must be a far cry less foolish than the one I already have."
Elizabeth stared at her lap. What would an acceptable response be to her father's line of questioning? She, herself, did not know exactly what Mr. Wickham's intentions were. He had made her no promises. All she had was her own suspicions about what would happen when she returned from Kent.
Chapter 13
Kitty was out the door of the parsonage and running towards the carriage as it arrived at Hunsford.
"Lizzy! Papa!" she called. "You are very welcome. I am so happy to see both of you!"
Elizabeth allowed herself to be caught up in her sister's embrace for a moment, and took a step back to survey Kitty. She appeared much different from the young girl who had left Longbourn only months earlier. Her hair was pinned up sedately in a way more befitting a pastor's wife, and the cut of her dress was more conservative. Elizabeth thought how good these changes looked on Kitty.
"We are so happy to be here, my dear sister," Lizzy said, holding Kitty's hands. "What a lovely home!"
"Oh, pardon my manners. Please do come in."
Elizabeth and Mr. Bennet obliged and followed Kitty into the house. The entryway was humble but nonetheless inviting, and it was clear that much attention had been given to its decoration. Kitty led them down the hall and into a sitting room.
"Please do sit, and I will have tea brought for you," Kitty said. "You must be exhausted after your trip!"
"The trip was extremely draining," said Mr. Bennet gravely. "And I could not get Lizzy to stop talking about Mr. Wickham."
"Papa, you are wicked," said Elizabeth with a smile. "I suspect you speak so in hopes I will react. I shall not give you the satisfaction."
He sighed. "'Tis the problem with having a daughter who knows one so well," he lamented. "I am never able to use my tricks on her."
Kitty laughed. "I see you two have changed not a single bit. Please do make yourselves comfortable. I will return in a moment."
Elizabeth sat on a settee and took the opportunity to inspect the room. It was decorated in the same understated but tasteful style as what she had seen on their way inside.
Kitty returned and announced tea would be served soon.
"Are you responsible for the beautiful decoration of the house?" Elizabeth asked her. "I wonder where you found the time to do such a lovely and thorough job!"
"I wish I could take the credit for having such exemplary taste. No, this is how it was decorated when I arrived."
"Really! So it was decorated under Mr. Collins' orders?"
"Yes, although Lady Catherine oversaw things. I believe it is her refined and constant good taste which is responsible for the loveliness of the decoration."
Elizabeth privately wondered if this was true, but smiled at Kitty nonetheless.
"And where is Mr. Collins?" Elizabeth inquired.
"He had an errand to run in town, but he should be back soon."
The tea had arrived, and Kitty served with a practiced grace that surprised her sister.
"You seem well," Elizabeth sai
d.
"I truly believe this is the role in life for which I was born: to be the helpmate of a man such as Mr. Collins."
Elizabeth gave her father a sharp look, concerned he would say something both amusing and improper. However, he wore a small smile on his face, as if he too saw Kitty in a new light.
"Papa, will you stay with us long?" Kitty inquired.
"No, my dear. I will trouble you only overnight. I suspect you have much you would like to share with Lizzy, and I do not want to impede upon that time."
"Truly, you are welcome to stay for as long as you would like."
Mr. Bennet raised an eyebrow at her. "And leave Longbourn in the hands of your mother, Mary, and Lydia? I think not. If I were to loiter for too long, the entire estate might be swallowed up whole simply due to mismanagement. I will leave tomorrow, but I thank you for your kind invitation. What do you plan to show Lizzy first?" he said, in an attempt to change the topic of conversation.
"If I know Lizzy at all, she will be anxious to explore the countryside, and there is much I am happy to show her. I'm sure you noticed the fine lawn of Rosings Park, just across the lane. We would not want to disturb Lady Catherine, but it is acceptable with her if we walk along the edge and admire the park from there. And in two days, it will be Sunday, and you will get to hear one of Mr. Collins' sermons, Lizzy! I know you have heard him speak before, but that is nothing to hearing him in front of the entire congregation. I daresay you will be proud to have him as a member of your family after that service!"
Elizabeth agreed she was already proud of her cousin, and proud of her sister as well. Kitty blushed at the compliment and gave Elizabeth a wide smile.
"I cannot believe you both are here, in my own house, and we are awaiting the return of my husband! If you had foretold this even half a year ago, I never should have believed you. Everything changed so very quickly, and so very wonderfully!"
Mr. Bennet, although pleased with his daughter's happiness, could only take so much unadorned optimism, and he had quite reached his limit. He excused himself to rest after the long journey.
"Oh, Lizzy, thank you so much for visiting me," said Kitty, taking Elizabeth's hands. "It is funny. I feel as if I am closer to you now than when we lived together."
Elizabeth smiled. "I feel the same. We have begun to understand one another better through letters than we have in the past."
"Thank you for accepting my invitation. I was not certain you would. Did this trip not take you away from a certain militia officer?"
"I am unaware of Mr. Wickham's intentions," said Elizabeth, glad for someone to talk to about her conflicted feelings. "Sometimes, he sounds as if he is about to propose to me, but then nothing happens. I do not know whether this is merely a flirtation, or if he means to ask me to marry him."
"It all sounds so very romantic!" sighed Kitty. "If he proposed, you would accept, would you not?"
"I am also unsure about that. I do so enjoy spending time with him. But how do you know when you love someone?"
Kitty glanced around furtively to make sure no one else was nearby.
"I did not love Mr. Collins when we wed," she whispered.
Elizabeth was startled. Kitty had seemed so certain in her engagement.
"I knew he was handsome, and I knew I was in a competition with Lydia that I was desperate to win. But I did not think too far into the future beyond my wedding. I was fortunate, because it was not soon after I arrived here I began to feel the stirrings of stronger feelings for Mr. Collins. I can now say, without a doubt, that I fall more deeply in love with him each day."
"But what if those feelings had never arrived?"
"I would still esteem him highly; that much was true when we married. So we would have mutual respect, and the shared desire for a family. Even without love, do you not think being married is preferable to not being married, Lizzy?"
Elizabeth shook her head. "I do not know. I cannot imagine marrying without love. Perhaps I would prefer to be a spinster."
"And live with Mama and Papa forever?" Kitty asked.
Elizabeth sighed. "That does not seem like an ideal solution either, does it?"
"It does not. Lizzy, if Mr. Wickham asks for you, I think you ought to tell him yes. You get a certain light in your eyes when you speak of him. If you do not already love him, I believe you could learn to very easily."
"Perhaps you are right and I am just cautious. However, I am glad to be here, where I can spend time with you and postpone any such decision for a bit longer."
"Then our happiness is in concert," said Kitty, smiling at her sister. "Come, let me show you the rest of the house. You must see the closets. Mr. Collins is exceedingly proud of their shelves."
Elizabeth resisted the urge to laugh, as she did not want to hurt Kitty's feelings. Instead, she allowed herself to be led on a tour and was suitably impressed when presented with the myriad storage options at Hunsford.
* * *
The next day, Mr. Bennet arose, had a quick breakfast, and insisted on beginning the journey home.
"I will return for you, Lizzy," he said. "That is, unless you decide to stay forever."
"I would not think to impose upon my hosts in such a way," Elizabeth said with a smile. "I am sure when you come to retrieve me in several weeks, they will be more than prepared to bid me farewell."
Kitty and Mr. Collins attempted to convince Elizabeth nothing could be further from the truth, and Mr. Bennet took the opportunity to take his leave. By the time Kitty and Collins realized what had happened, the carriage was so far down the lane that all they could do was wave.
"Be safe, Papa!" called Kitty. "Send my love to my mother!"
Mr. Bennet's hand appeared and waved a final goodbye, and within moments, the only thing left visible was the dust cloud the carriage had stirred up.
"So!" said Mr. Collins, turning to Elizabeth. "What are we to do with you, Cousin Elizabeth?"
"I am easy to please, sir. It is not my intention to take you from the normal routine of your life. What would you be doing now, were I not here?"
"Mr. Collins often spends some time working on his sermon during the mornings," answered Kitty.
"Then I propose that is what you ought to do, Mr. Collins. I would hate to be the reason this week's sermon was not up to its usual high standards."
"That is very kind of you, but what shall you do?" asked Mr. Collins.
"Perhaps I can prevail upon my sister to take a walk with me. She spoke of a lovely walk along the lane when I arrived yesterday."
"That is a capital idea. Dearest, you can show your sister Rosings Park! I daresay, Cousin Elizabeth, you might well be overwhelmed with its grandeur. I was the first time I beheld it."
"Then it is something I am very happy to see. I should retrieve a shawl. Kitty, shall you be cold? Ought I to fetch one for you as well?"
Kitty maintained she was of a pleasant temperature, so Elizabeth went inside and found her shawl. Then, properly warm and with her sister at her side, the exploration of the area around Hunsford began.
* * *
From the parsonage, all that could be seen was the park around Rosings. Elizabeth and Kitty walked slowly along the lane. Elizabeth craned her neck for a view of Rosings Park; she was curious to see what sort of house would be grand enough for the famous Lady Catherine de Bourgh. It did not take long until the house came into sight. Although the park was just across the lane from Hunsford, the house was set quite a ways back. Nonetheless, Elizabeth had a good view of it as they proceeded down the lane.
Rosings Park was made of stone so white it was clear this was no ancient construction. Large windows reflected the sun, making it appear as if the house itself was glowing. The park was well-maintained, from the sparkling fountain to the perfectly manicured trees. In short, Rosings was quite as impressive as Elizabeth had been led to expect. However, there was something essential that felt as if it was missing. Some houses have a liveliness about them, even when all the inhabit
ants are at rest. Rosings felt rather the opposite: languid and stifled, as if it had been waiting for something to happen for a very long time and was beginning to give up hope.
"Is it not lovely?" said Kitty, looking up at the large house. "We have dined there twice, you know."
"You had mentioned in your letters. How did you find Lady Catherine?"
"She is quite as regal as you would expect. To tell you true, she makes me a bit nervous. She always looks at me as if she is disappointed with Mr. Collins' choice."
"Then she is foolish," said Elizabeth, taking her sister's hand. "Mr. Collins could not have chosen more wisely, and I do not care to meet anyone who believes otherwise."
"Oh, Lizzy, do not speak in such a way as we walk by the park! What if someone overheard you?"
"I care not for Lady Catherine's opinion of me, although I would not like my actions to make your life more difficult. I shall hold my tongue."
"Perhaps I am just being silly," said Kitty with a weak laugh. "I have not been in her presence often enough to ascribe meaning to her expressions."
"What is most important is your husband loves you, and you are happy."
"I am ever so happy, Lizzy, I assure you! When I think back to what a foolish young girl I was only a few months ago, I am ashamed."
"There is no need to be ashamed. In my experience, most girls of seventeen are at least a little foolish, but look how quickly you overcame that to become a wife."
"I feel this is where I am meant to be. Come, let us turn back. It looks as if it might rain."
Elizabeth and Kitty hurried back to Hunsford, and barely make it inside before the rain began to fall. They were met in the entry hallway by a very excited Mr. Collins.
"We have received an invitation to dine at Rosings Park tonight!" he said.
Kitty glanced at Elizabeth, hoping Elizabeth would not mention her feelings about Lady Catherine.
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