Confused by Shadows

by Geonn Cannon

  She touched Jodie's hair and brushed it out of her face. Jodie moaned in her sleep and moved her head with Lance's hand, turning toward the caress. Lance rested her hand against Jodie's cheek, leaned in, and gently pressed her lips to Jodie's eyebrow. "Pleasant dreams," she whispered.

  She was about to straighten up and leave when she realized she couldn't just leave her like this. What if she caught a cold? Of course, the alternative—carrying her to bed— could cause all sorts of uncomfortable situations. It would be completely innocent, her inner voice assured her. You would just be making her comfortable. Of course, you could also take off those pants. Just to increase her comfort. And then if you stretched out next to her, who would say anything? Not her.

  Lance was still trying to silence the devil on her shoulder when Jodie's eyelids fluttered open. She lifted her hands, only to find them pinned by the blanket. She frowned, looked down at herself, and looked up to see Lance standing over her.

  "You fell asleep. I was—"

  "Thank you," Jodie said. "That's sweet. Thank you." She freed her arms and rubbed her eyes as Lance stepped back. "I can't believe I checked out like that."

  "It's fine."

  "Are you leaving?"

  "Yeah, I was just—"

  "I'll walk you to the door." She freed herself from the blanket and stumbled to the door in the manner of the half-unconscious. Lance opened the door and stepped into the hall. She turned and looked at Jodie, who still looked half-asleep. She stuffed her hands into her pockets and said, "Thank you for tonight. It was great. And, and the blanket. That really was so sweet."

  "I didn't want you to catch cold." Good one. Next time try to be a bigger idiot.

  "Carmen," Jodie said, "do you want to go out with me sometime?"

  Lance frowned.

  "I don't mean like tonight. Tonight was just friends. But I think I'd like to go out on a real date with you. Just to see what would happen."

  Lance was still debating what to say when her lips betrayed her. "Yeah, I'd like that."

  Jodie smiled. "Great. I guess I'll see you tomorrow. Lunch time. You're going to come pick me up?"

  "Yeah, around noon. I'll bring something." She tried to think of something else to say, but kept coming up empty. She finally smiled and said, "Well, it's late."

  "Yeah. Good night, Carmen."

  "Night, Jodie."

  Lance waited until the apartment door closed before she walked to the elevator. Her ears were burning and her heart pounded in her chest. She had a date. A real date. God help her.

  #

  Chapter Seven

  Lance left the garage on her lunch break, already kicking herself for letting the night before get out of hand; covering Jodie with a blanket, kissing her forehead. What had she been thinking? A real life was one thing, a relationship was a whole different animal. She stopped at a local fast food place and got a double-double special; two sandwiches, two fries, and two drinks. She got to Jodie's apartment a few minutes before noon and used Daphne's phone to call upstairs.

  "Daphne? Or Carmen?"

  "Carmen. I'm downstairs."

  "Oh. Great. Um...I'll...be right down."

  Lance frowned and looked at the phone. There was something odd in Jodie's tone, but nothing that she could place. When Jodie came outside a few minutes later, Lance decided the strange tone was just exhaustion. Jodie looked like she hadn't slept a wink. She climbed into the car and took the bag from Lance. "Thanks. God, this smells good. Hi."

  "Hi," Lance said. "Chicken sandwiches all around today. I figured we'd both gotten enough red meat last night."

  "Yeah," Jodie said with a slight coughing laugh. "Probably wise." She looked into the bag and then fastened her seat belt. She cleared her throat, rested her food on her lap, and looked out the window. Her hand was curled, her thumb under her fingers, and she kept working the nails against the pad of her thumb. She shifted her feet twice, then rearranged herself in the seat. Lance recognized the symptoms of someone who was ill at ease, eager to be anywhere other than where she was.

  "Is everything okay?"

  "Yeah," Jodie said, a little too quickly. "Yeah, everything's fine."

  Lance nodded. "I was just worried you may have regretted telling me what you did. That kind of thing—"

  "No, I'm glad I told you. I needed to get that out. But I did spend the entire morning worried that things will be uncomfortable between us today."

  Lance shook her head. "No reason why it should be."

  Jodie scoffed. "Yeah, sure, just forget about the kiss." Lance's hands tightened on the steering wheel. So she had been awake for the kiss. "Look, Carmen, if you'd rather skip lunch, I'd understand."

  "Skip? Jodie, the kiss was nothing. There's no reason to turn it into a big deal."

  "Nothing? You call that nothing?" She laughed and said, "I practically rape you on the balcony and you say it's nothing. That was the hottest kiss I've had in a long, long time."

  They reached a red light and Lance turned to look at Jodie. "What are you talking about?"

  Jodie looked at Lance like she was an idiot. "The kiss! I climbed onto your lap and we made out. I practically tore your clothes off. We stood up, started for the bedroom, I had you..." She stopped, swallowed hard and said, "I-I had you up against the wall? My hand was down your damn pants, Carmen." She cleared her throat and ran her fingers through her hair. "If you can go back to normal after that, well—"

  "Jodie, you didn't kiss me."

  "What?"

  "I think..." Lance shifted in her seat. Here was the uncomfortable part. "I-I think you're remembering a dream you had." A very nice dream, from the sounds of it.

  Jodie stared at her for a long moment and then covered her eyes with both hands. A deep red blush began to creep over her cheeks. "Oh, my God. Oh, fuck. Well, if it wasn't uncomfortable before..."

  Lance managed a smile. "It's no problem. Really."

  "Speed up a little. I want to jump out of the car on the next straightaway."

  "Seriously. It's no problem. We've all had dreams like that before."

  Jodie exhaled and shook her head. "Yeah, but very few people are dim enough to tell the person in the dream."

  "I can play stupid with the best of them. It's forgotten."

  "Yeah?"

  "Consider it erased."

  Jodie sighed as they pulled into the parking lot. "Thanks. You saved me a lot of self-flagellation."

  They parked in their usual spot and Lance said, "My sandwich is still in the bag."

  Jodie reached in to get it. She held it out to Lance, but snatched it back before Lance could take it. "Hold on a second. You said the kiss was nothing."

  Lance tensed, but decided to play dumb. "I said what?"

  "When I suggested we skip lunch because the kiss would make things awkward, you said 'the kiss was nothing.' What kiss are you talking about?"

  It was Lance's turn to blush. "Oh." Jodie raised an eyebrow. "It really wasn't anything. I...kissed your forehead." She pointed at Jodie's eyebrow.

  "When?"

  "When I covered you with the blanket. I thought maybe it woke you up."

  "You kissed my forehead?" Jodie said. Her lips curled in a sly smile. "Oh, my God. Underneath this gruff, grease monkey, muscle car physique, you're a closet romantic."

  "Shut up or I'll run you over." She grabbed her sandwich from Jodie and ripped open the wrapper.

  Jodie laughed. "Don't worry. Your secret is safe with me. Just so I know, there aren't any Jane Austen books in your glove compartment, right? Chick flicks in the trunk? I know you have a pair of elbow-length white gloves and a cocktail dress under your coveralls."

  Lance threw a French fry at Jodie's head.

  #

  After a few weeks of working at the garage, Lance was beginning to get complacent. It was kind of nice to be anchored to one place for a while. Lance would take the morning shift, pick Jodie up for lunch, and then stay on until closing time. Jodie had been working full days non-st
op for weeks before Lance arrived, so Daphne was willing to give her a bit of a breather now that she had backup. When a newer model car came in, Jodie showed Lance how to use the computers to diagnose and repair problems. When they got off work, Lance would drive Jodie home with occasional stops at a nearby bar.

  A week after their dinner together, Lance passed through the office on her way to lunch. "I'm going to go pick up Jodie. I'll be back in a few minutes."

  "About that," Daphne said. "You said you were good with the older models, and you are. But I noticed Calico isn't helping you near as much with the newer ones as she was at the beginning. So I think it's time to be a little more even with your days. Why don't you go pick her up, then take the rest of the day off."

  Lance leaned against the door. "I suppose I could do that."

  "You've been doing phenomenal so far." She moved her glasses from the top of her head to her nose and bent over her papers again. "If you need help, let me know and I'll lend you a hand."

  "All right. Thanks for the vote of confidence."

  "Vote of confidence nothing. I'm tired of paying two people to do one job."

  Lance smirked and left the office. By the time she got to the car, her mind was racing. She wasn't sure being separated from Jodie was an altogether good thing. She had no idea what she was going to do with her afternoons for one thing. For another, it meant that she would have no reason to socialize with Jodie outside of lunches together. The date she had agreed to go on suddenly had overwhelming weight to it. The fate of their companionship rested solely on whether they had a good time together outside of work.

  She got their lunch from a place they hadn't tried yet, then drove to Jodie's apartment and, instead of calling, went upstairs. Jodie looked surprised and rushed when she opened the door. She wore a pair of boxer shorts, a white T-shirt, and had a toothbrush sticking out of the corner of her mouth. She smiled and said, "Uh, hey. You caught me a little...off guard. I'm going to be out in just a second, okay?"

  "Yeah, take your time."

  Jodie hurried back into the bathroom and Lance tried desperately not to look at her ass or her legs. She wandered into the living room where Danica was stretched out on top of a laundry basket that happened to be warmed by the sun. Lance reached down and petted the cat's head, scratching behind her ears as she listened to water run in the bathroom. Danica rolled onto her stomach, looked around, and then slithered out from beneath Lance's hand. The sudden escape caused Lance's hand to drop into the laundry, and she closed her fingers around something silk and flimsy. She lifted it and realized she was holding a pair of Jodie's panties.

  "Shit, Jesus." She shoved the underwear under an innocent blouse, patted the top of the pile, and stepped away as the bedroom door opened. Jodie was still shrugging into her coveralls, her hair up and the toothbrush gone. "I, uh, think, uh, Danica was sitting on your laundry."

  "I'm used to cat hair on my clothes. No biggie." She said, "Okay. I'm ready to go."

  Lance nodded and followed Jodie to the door. "You brush your teeth before lunch?"

  "Only when I won't get a chance to do it after," Jodie said as she locked the apartment door. "It causes some unique flavor combinations depending on what you've bought, believe me." They started downstairs with Jodie in the lead. "So what's the special occasion? Why are you escorting me downstairs rather than just beckoning like you usually do?"

  "Well, it looks like I'm off probation. Daphne told me to take the rest of the day off. For now, it's me in the mornings and you in the afternoons."

  Jodie turned and smiled. "Hey, that's great. Congratulations. We've had some real losers come through who were just told to take the rest of the day off and not come back. I'm proud of you, kid." She continued down the stairs. "Although, I have to say, it does kind of suck. I've gotten used to having you around. Lending me a hand. Taking up some slack. Getting in my way. Stealing my tools. You know what, good riddance to you. I'm glad to be rid of ya."

  Lance slugged Jodie's shoulder.

  "Seriously, it'll be good. It'll keep us from getting sick of each other."

  "Yeah," Lance said. "I can still pick you up and have lunch, if you want. I'm going to need lunch anyway."

  "Sure," Jodie said. "Maybe I'll win the next race and have enough cash to actually get a car of my own."

  "There's that much money at stake?"

  "Well, maybe a used car."

  Lance smiled. She could compare her apartment to Jodie's, and factor in how much their paycheck from the garage was, and it was easy to get an idea of just how lucrative Jodie's racing really was. Not to mention how good she must be at it. They got into the car and Lance said, "I look forward to seeing you race."

  "Two weeks from Saturday. Be there or be square."

  Lance smiled. "I just hope I don't jinx you." A thought occurred to her then. All it would take was one camera shot, one person watching the wrong thing on a Saturday afternoon, and she would be busted. Her house of cards would come crashing down all around her. "Oh. These things aren't televised, are they?"

  "No," Jodie said. "A couple of public access shows sometimes come down and film the races, but nothing too impressive." She reached over and pinched Lance's chin. "You'll just have to get that pretty mug shot out there some other way."

  The words 'mug shot' caused a chill to run down Lance's spine. "Yeah, I guess I'll just have to rob a bank or something."

  Jodie coughed, shook her head and looked out the window. "Yeah. Or something. So I guess it's the end of an era, you and me being separated. We'll have to celebrate tonight."

  "Drinks at Castaneda's?"

  "Look at you, talkin' like a native. But no, I had something bigger in mind. Maybe we could make it that date I promised you after dinner last week. We haven't talked much about that. You still want to go out?"

  "Yeah," Lance said. Now that she'd had a week to think about it, she decided her spur of the moment acceptance was definitely the right answer. "You have any idea where you want to go?"

  "When I first made the offer, I was considering some chain. Red Lobster or Outback or something like that. But I've since decided to make it a continuation of your tour of local color. There's a place called Sinjin's."

  "I think I've seen that place," Lance said. "It's out in the development area at the edge of town."

  "Yep. The 'lynchpin of the new Shepherd,'" she said, quoting from the billboard that stood in the middle of an undeveloped field. So far, the restaurant was the only finished, operating business in the area, but the skeletal outlines of a hotel, a movie theater and a new apartment complex. "The owner of the restaurant is also helping finance the hotel. And, it just so happens, she's the owner of my car."

  "Oh," Lance said. "Rebecca St. John. Right?"

  "Good memory. What are these, mozzarella sticks?"

  Lance looked over and saw Jodie was investigating the bag of food she had picked up. "Yeah. There's dipping sauce in the bag."

  Jodie bent down to retrieve it. "I thought I could drop by for dinner, help support her and, in turn, help support myself. The more money she has, the more money she can pay me."

  "Nice logic," Lance said.

  "Plus I can show her my new squeeze." She nudged Lance's arm with her elbow. "How does eight sound?"

  "Tonight?" Jodie shrugged and Lance nodded. "Sure. Eight sounds good."

  "Good. I can't wait for you to meet Rebecca. You'll like her."

  "I hope so. It kind of feels like I'm meeting your par...parents." She recalled the story Jodie had told on the balcony and shook her head. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have—"

  "It's fine. I'm used to slips like that."

  They pulled into the garage parking lot right behind a lurching Honda Civic. "Whoops," Jodie said, "looks like lunch might be a little delayed today. I'll take the burger with me." She smiled sadly. "Our last lunch together, and it gets cut short. Sad."

  "It's not our last lunch," Lance said. "It's just the last lunch we'll have when I go into work afterwar
d."

  "Well, when you put it like that. I'll see you later." She opened the car door, started to get out, and then dropped back into her seat. "I'm really going to miss having you around today. Surprisingly a lot."

  "Gee, thanks."

  "No, I didn't mean it like that," Jodie said. She laughed. "I like to work alone. I like to be alone. But these past couple of weeks with you underfoot, they've been very, very nice. I'll miss them."

  "We'll still have lunch together."

  "Yeah," Jodie said. "I'm glad we'll have that. Thanks for the ride, Carmen."

  "Any time."

  Jodie got out of the car and Lance watched her walk across the gravel. She thought about Jodie's parting words—I like to work alone. I like to be alone. "Me too," she whispered. She shook her head and turned the key. Jodie turned at the sound of the engine and lifted her hand. Lance waved back and pulled out of the spot. You're definitely on unsteady ground, darling, she told herself. She was going to have to be damned careful on this date.

  #

  Interlude

  Sheraton Hotel, DFW Airport, Texas

  Mallory sat on the edge of the bed and stepped into her jeans. She stood up and tugged them over her hips. On the bed behind her, Toni shifted against the sheets. She hadn't wanted to go all the way into the city proper, and thankfully Toni agreed to meet her here. Mallory turned and looked at her for a long moment before she continued the search for her bra. There was a time she would've been able to look at Toni and seen only those beautiful golden eyes, the arched eyebrows, high cheekbones.

  But those days were brief and long ago, and now every time Mallory looked at Toni, all she saw was the jagged scar on the right side of her neck. The scar was a product of Mallory's obsessed quest to bring down Claire Lance. Toni got caught up in the whirlpool and now carried a permanent mark of her involvement. Of Mallory's failure.

  "You don't have to leave so soon."

  Mallory caught a glimpse of Toni's bare legs, separated by a wrinkled sheet. A handful of minutes ago, those sheets were gathered under Mallory's stomach. She looked away and plucked her bra off the dresser. "I'm sorry if I hurt you."