Confused by Shadows

by Geonn Cannon

  Lance turned and looked at her, small and isolated against the white leather seat. "What are you going?"

  "I don't have to be home until midnight. Mom extended my curfew because it's Homecoming and all."

  Lance climbed into the backseat. They kissed, and Lance eased Jodie's pants down. She kissed her way down Jodie's body, parted her legs, and knelt on the floor between them. She was twisted in the leg space, but she ignored the screaming of her muscles as she kissed Jodie's thigh. She went to work with her lips and tongue, occasionally adding a finger to Jodie's whispered delight.

  When Jodie came, Lance moved back up onto the seat and kissed her lips. Then she moved to the side and sat next to Jodie. "It's beautiful out here," she said, touching her wrist to her chin to make sure it wasn't wet.

  "Yeah," Jodie said. "I love it a lot. It's what I always think about when I fantasize about..."

  "Sorry you didn't have your letterman jacket."

  Jodie smiled. "Next time."

  "Next time?"

  Jodie reached over and took Lance's hand. "Next time."

  Halfway through the next song, Jodie's cell phone rang again. She pulled it out and sighed.

  "She's just going to keep calling until you answer," Lance said.

  Jodie nodded and opened the phone. "Hello. Yeah, she told me." She listened for a minute and then held the phone out to Lance.

  "Hello, Mrs. St. John."

  "I've spoken to Simon," Rebecca said. "He's agreed. Come by the restaurant tomorrow afternoon and we'll go over everything with you. Congratulations, Ms. Landry."

  Lance closed the phone without saying goodbye. She drew Jodie close, kissed her forehead, and said, "It's on. I'm in."

  They sat in silence and watched the moonlight on the water. "Claire," Jodie whispered. "Thank you. For trying to save me."

  "Thank you for trying to save me."

  "Best intentions," Jodie said.

  "Who the fuck needs 'em."

  Jodie chuckled and turned her face against Lance's chest. When the laughter became tears, Lance stroked Jodie's hair and held her until she was still again.

  #

  Chapter Sixteen

  They decided without speaking that they would share Jodie's bed that night, but just to sleep. Lance stripped down to her tank top and shorts, while Jodie changed into a long nightshirt. Lance spooned against Jodie's back and was about to ask why the bedroom door was open when Danica joined them on the bed. The cat climbed over Lance's legs as if she wasn't there, turned in a circle, sniffed the blankets and then collapsed in a pile of fur. Jodie scratched the cat's head and said, "Do you mind?"

  "As long as she doesn't steal the covers."

  Jodie rolled onto her back and looked up at Lance. "This is going to end, isn't it?"

  "What is?"

  "Us. Your attempt at a life. Once this bank robbery thing happens, you won't be able to stay here even if you do get away. It'll be far too dangerous for you. So no matter what happens, our days are numbered."

  The idea had been brewing in Lance's mind all night, but it took Jodie saying it aloud to make it real. She put her hand on Jodie's hip and looked away.

  "You can take me with you."

  "Jodie, I'm doing this so you won't have to give up your life."

  Jodie was crying, and her tears were shining in the darkness. "So, what? You do this and then drive off into the sunset? Next town, next woman—"

  Lance put her hand on Jodie's lips. "There won't be anyone else. I love you, Jodie."

  Jodie kissed Lance's fingertips.

  "You'd be giving up everything to come with me. Your job, your dreams, everything. You don't want that, Jodie. But the most important reason you can't go is because it would change us. Seeing you fall asleep with me is one of the most touching things I've ever seen, because of how much you trust me to keep you safe. But if you ran away with me, I could never promise that you'd be safe."

  "I don't need a promise. I don't need security."

  "Jodie. Please. I want you with me, but I want you safe above all."

  Jodie shook her head and pushed away. She rolled over to face the window, punching the pillow. "Aren't you just the saint? So self-sacrificing for little old me."

  Lance closed her eyes and settled back against her pillow. She laced her fingers behind her head and listened to the sound of Jodie's breathing. Every now and then, Danica would meow or rearrange herself with a heavy shift against the mattress. Jodie's arm kept moving as she petted the cat, so Lance knew she wasn't asleep either. She wanted to say something reassuring, something that would make everything okay again, but she was at a loss.

  It was almost three when Jodie, her voice small, said, "Are you still awake?"

  "Yeah."

  "I'm sorry it didn't work. You deserve a real life."

  Lance closed her eyes. "Yeah. Maybe it was a stupid idea to try."

  "Maybe," Jodie said. She still had her back to Lance, playing with Danica's tail. The cat swatted at her fingers and Jodie withdrew her hand. "I'm glad you tried. I'm glad I got to be a part of your life, even for a little bit."

  Lance rolled onto her side and pulled Jodie close. She laced her fingers together over Jodie's stomach and kissed the shell of her ear. "Whatever happens, this was worth it. Even if stopping here and trying to make a life turns out to be what gets me caught, it was worth it. I won't regret a minute of it."

  "I love you, Claire," Jodie said. She covered Lance's laced hands with her own. "No matter what happens."

  "I love you, too. Try to get some sleep."

  Jodie turned her head and said, "Kiss me."

  Lance kissed her and pressed her palms against Jodie's stomach. When they parted, Jodie said, "If you change your mind about taking me with you, let me know."

  Lance nodded. "Okay."

  "Good night." She settled against the mattress, pressed back against Lance, and soon fell to sleep. Lance held her for a long time, watching the black silhouette of Danica sharing the bed with them. In the darkness she couldn't tell if Danica was looking at her or out the window, but she could almost feel the bright green eyes burrowing into her. She wanted to assure the cat that she wouldn't hurt Jodie, that she would do everything in her power not to break her heart, but she couldn't even make the lies form in her head.

  She fell asleep trying to ignore the condemning gaze of the cat and the betraying thoughts of her own mind.

  #

  Jodie's cell phone woke Lance a week later. She watched as Jodie fumbled for the phone on the nightstand, flipped it open, and whispered a terse, "Hello. She's sleeping. No, I won't, just tell me and I'll let her know." She pushed her hair out of her face and nodded. "Okay. I'll let her know. Okay." She hung up, dropped the phone on the blanket and sat up. She swung her feet to the floor and reached to scratch the small of her back with her thumbnail.

  Lance reached up and scratched the itch for her. Jodie arched her back, and then turned to look over her shoulder. "Thanks. Good morning. Did I wake you?"

  "No," Lance said.

  Jodie lay back down and drew Lance's hand to her chest. "That was Rebecca. She wants you to be at the restaurant by one. She and Hatcher have fine-tuned the plan to include you, and they want to go over everything with you."

  "Okay." Lance didn't want to ask, but she couldn't stop herself. The question just sat between them on dates, when they watched TV and when they slipped into bed together. She finally needed an answer. "Jodie, how the hell did you get into all of this?"

  Jodie hesitated and then caved. "Rebecca, of course. She's the one who first brought it up, but I think it's Hatcher's baby. He seems to be the one in charge. Rebecca is just the financier."

  "Why?" Lance said. "Is it just a hobby for a woman with too much money? Bankroll a restaurant here, finance a bank robbery over there?"

  "I don't think it's anything that trite," Jodie said. "I get the feeling there's more at stake than money. Hatcher is...well, you'll see when you've spent some time with him.
It isn't just about getting more money; I get the feeling he's pretty well off."

  "That doesn't mean he doesn't want more."

  "Just watch him. You'll see what I mean. He and Rebecca put together some kind of bad-ass group to pull it off. Steer clear of Adrian Durant and Lucy Gerard. Those two are fucking insane."

  "Gerard is fucking Rebecca."

  Jodie frowned and lifted her head. "Rebecca isn't gay."

  "I walked in on them yesterday," Lance said.

  Jodie dropped her head back onto the pillow. "Huh. Wow."

  "Doesn't mean she's gay, I suppose," Lance said. "Could have just been another opportunity to branch out, experiment."

  Jodie chuckled. "Rebecca does like to test the waters."

  "And as attractive and seductive as Gerard seemed to be, I wouldn't be surprised if she convinced Rebecca to walk on the wild side."

  Jodie ran her finger up Lance's forearm. "You think Gerard is attractive? Seductive?"

  "No," Lance said. She kissed Jodie and slid closer to her.

  Jodie moaned when the kiss broke and said, "I've never had a relationship like this. I've never known a woman like you."

  Lance stroked Jodie's arm, kissed her again. "I never thought I'd want another woman the way I want you. I never thought I could be with someone else without it feeling like a betrayal. I'm so lucky I found you."

  "Claire?"

  "Yeah."

  "Go shower and go to work before we end up in bed all morning."

  Lance smiled and kissed Jodie hard. She managed to get herself out from under the blankets and walked into the bathroom. As she undressed, Jodie appeared in the doorway. "I forgot to mention. Rebecca wants you to bring the, um, the bag. From the closet. When you meet her this afternoon. I'll bring it when I come in to work."

  "Okay," Lance said. Jodie's eyes were locked on Lance's chest. "Jodie."

  "Yeah."

  "Do you want to take a shower with me?"

  "Yeah."

  Jodie shed her nightshirt as she stepped into the bathroom and kicked the door shut.

  #

  A Honda Accord came in at ten before twelve with the "check engine" light on, so Lance was busy with it when Jodie's Torino pulled into the parking lot. Lance looked up and saw Jodie transfer the duffel bag from her car to the Mustang. Lance finished up with the car, washed her hands, and clocked out. Daphne was reading a magazine when Lance came out of the bathroom, wiping her hands with a paper towel.

  "You two have been spending a lot of time together."

  Lance looked out at Jodie, sitting in her car. "You mean our lunches?"

  "I mean your nights. Neither of you look like you've gotten a good night's sleep in the past couple of days." She sighed and shook her head. "I have a grand total of two employees and I still have to deal with an office romance."

  "I can never tell if you're for us or against us."

  "Little of both, dear," Daphne said. "None of my business unless it affects my business. Or if you break her heart."

  Lance nodded. "I can handle that. And we'll try to start going to bed earlier."

  "Don't need the details."

  Lance went out to the car and slipped into the passenger seat. Jodie had already gotten a good start on the fat crinkle-cut fries, and held a few out to Lance. Lance took a bite, her lips brushing Jodie's fingers before she pulled back. "They're good."

  "Favorite in town," Jodie said. "That's why I got us each a large order rather than sharing. It's not a passive-aggressive thing."

  Lance smiled. "Thanks for clarifying." She pulled a burger from the sack and folded the wrapper down enough that she could take a bite. She slid down, lifted one leg against the dashboard, and looked into the backseat. "It's a great car."

  "It is, isn't it?" Jodie said.

  Lance faced forward again. "I haven't regularly sat down and shared a meal with someone since I was with Elaine. Doing this with you every day, it reminds me of having a home. It reminds me of a time that I didn't hurt every minute of every day and I didn't have to look over my shoulder. It's the closest I've gotten to feeling safe for a really long time. If you did absolutely nothing else for me, I would love you for that feeling alone."

  Jodie was staring at the steering wheel, a handful of fries frozen halfway to her mouth as Lance gave her speech. Finally, she looked up and met Lance's eyes.

  "I'm sorry, I drifted off. Did you say something?"

  Lance frowned, and then smiled. "Bitch."

  Jodie cupped the back of Lance's head and leaned across the car to kiss her. She brushed her lips over Lance's and said, "Sorry. I don't do well with big romantic pronouncements. But thank you."

  "You do all right," Lance assured her, and kissed her.

  When they parted, Jodie looked down at Lance's hands. "I hate that you have to run. I hate that I can't run with you. If no one was chasing you, if you were...free and clear to be in a relationship with me, then you would be back in Chicago and Elaine would still be alive. Maybe we just weren't meant to be."

  "No," Lance said. "It just wasn't meant to be easy."

  "Maybe."

  They kissed again and Jodie pushed Lance back. "We should stop acting like you're leaving tomorrow. We'll have a couple of weeks before the plan even goes into action. The group Rebecca hired wants everything to be absolutely perfect before they start anything. Who knows how long that'll be? So until then, we'll just have to live like we're on borrowed time. Make the most out of what time we do have together."

  "Yeah," Lance said. "I say we march in there, hand in our resignations, get a couple weeks worth of TV dinners, and then never leave the apartment until Rebecca calls to tell me it's time."

  "I know you're joking, but I'm ready to go if you are."

  Lance smiled.

  "You should probably get going if you're going to be at Sinjin's by one. Rebecca prizes punctuality above all else."

  "Okay." Lance gathered her trash and took the remaining half of her sandwich to eat on the road. "You can have the rest of my fries."

  "I knew I loved you for a reason."

  "I'll see you tonight. Your place?"

  "Yeah. But I feel bad about your place," Jodie said. "Sitting there all abandoned. Maybe..." She looked out the windshield. "If you're only going to be around a few more weeks, then it would make sense for you to move your stuff into my place. Don't you think? It's not a, a commitment or a huge step. It's just the wisest—"

  "I'll do it," Lance said.

  Jodie's shoulders sagged with relief. "You will?"

  Lance lifted Jodie's hand and kissed the knuckles. "I'll pack my stuff tonight and tell the manager I'm leaving."

  "I was thinking of asking you before all this stuff popped up. But it's early. It's really damn early, isn't it? To talk about stuff like that. We've only known each other, what, two months? Good Lord, two months?"

  "A lot can happen in two months," Lance said. "Worlds can change. Thank you, Jodie. Whatever else happens, you got me closer to a real life than I ever thought possible. I owe you so much for that."

  "You don't owe me anything," Jodie said. "Now go. Rebecca will blame me if you're late."

  Lance nodded. "Wish me luck." When she was out of the car and Jodie couldn't hear her, she added, "I'm definitely going to need it."

  #

  Sinjin's didn't open until early afternoon, so Lance assumed the cars in the parking lot belonged to her new partners in crime. She parked at the end of the row, slung Jodie's duffel bag over her shoulder, and walked up to the service entrance at the back of the restaurant. The weight of the bag seemed symbolic to her. She'd seen it in Jodie's apartment, recognized the danger it posed, and was now taking steps to get it as far away from Jodie as possible. Whatever happened, she would take comfort in that.

  She knocked on the door and stepped back. A few seconds later, the door swung inward to reveal the thin black man she had first seen at the racetrack. He frowned, looked her up and down, and took the bag from her. "You the new
Demeter?"

  Lance frowned. "I don't know what that means."

  "Get in."

  The door led into the vacant kitchen, and Lance followed the man to Rebecca's office. The door was open and Lance could see the space was now filled with a large group of people. The man who had let her in said, "The new Demeter is here." He dropped the bag on Rebecca's desk and turned to face her.

  "She can't be Demeter, Durant," a woman said. Lance turned to see a slender brunette sitting on the couch. She wore a black suit, the legs of which were so flat that they might as well be empty. Her arms were crossed over her chest, hands clasped on her upper arms, and she was staring at Lance with searing green eyes. She was smiling slightly, like she had heard a joke and was waiting for everyone else in the room to catch on.

  "What the fuck do you mean?" the black man said. Lance identified him as Adrian Durant, one of the two Jodie told her to look out for. "Curran is out, she's in. She's Demeter."

  "Jodie was Demeter," the jade-eyed woman said. "I don't know who this one is yet."

  "You be sure to let us know when you've figured that out," Durant said. He rolled his eyes and focused on Lance. "I'm Adrian Durant. You can call me Ares. You already know Mrs. St. John, Athena, and Ms. Gerard, Aphrodite. She of the deep green eyes, that's Angie Cutler, Nemesis."

  "Charmed," Nemesis said with a drowsy smile.

  Ares put his hand on the shoulder of a beefy guy with short brown hair and a square jaw. He wore a track suit and had small, gunmetal eyes that hadn't left Lance since she came into the room. "Oliver Lyle. Morpheus."

  Morpheus nodded once, eyes still locked on her.

  "And Simon Hatcher?" Lance asked.

  "He's Zeus," Ares said proudly. "King of the hill, runner of the show. You listen to what he says and everything will be all right."

  Nemesis stood up and her suit draped over her lithe frame like a sheet blown by the wind. She stepped closer to Lance and narrowed her eyes. "I can't get a handle on you. What did Rebecca say her name was?"

  "Carmen Landry," Lance said.

  Nemesis tilted her head. "No, it's not."

  Lance tensed, but Nemesis just pressed her lips together and shook her head.

  "You're going to need a call sign," Ares said. "Greek goddess. Know of any?"