A Rogue of My Own

by Johanna Lindsey

  Desperately, before she lost all will to stop him, she tore her mouth away from his. “You’ve got the wrong idea!” she gasped out.

  “Oh, no, there’s nothing wrong about this.” He grinned down at her. “This couldn’t be more right. Besides, disclaimers don’t work a’tall when said in such a sexy timbre. Should I warn you just how highly arousing your voice is, Becca? But I suppose you already know that.”

  She had meant to sound urgent, not breathless. That darn singing all afternoon, who would have thought it would be her undoing. Her back and legs had come up against—not a wall, his bed! She put up both arms to stop him from closing the distance between them again, but there wasn’t enough space to really make the effort, and her arms ended up around him instead of pushing him away.

  “Wait,” she cried before his lips slanted across hers again. She didn’t think she’d be saying any more. She didn’t think she’d want to. She just didn’t think…

  The wonder of a man’s body pressed down on hers for the first time was a unique pleasure all its own, yet it wasn’t just any male body. Perhaps that’s what it was, him, his body, his weight, his mouth making such a passionate claim on hers that made her relinquish the last traces of resistance and let the pleasure take over.

  Suddenly her senses seemed more alive. Or was it just her own desire that was guiding her? She was too innocent to be sure of anything regarding what was happening to her body, but there was no discounting how wonderful it all felt.

  “I knew you were going to be dangerous, I just didn’t realize to what extent,” Rupert said as he rolled them to the side so he could get at the fastening at the back of her gown. “But I’ve never been more delighted to surrender.”

  He was surrendering? What did that mean!? He probably didn’t know what he was saying. He ought to just shut up and she told him so.

  “Why don’t you shut up?”

  He contradicted his own statement about laughter. He let out a burst of it now. “Yes, why don’t I?”

  The constraints of her yellow off-the-shoulder gown were gone. It felt loosely out of place now, but not for long. He nudged her to her back again and suddenly the gown was whisked off her completely. Another hard kiss from him and the embarrassment she’d started to feel faded away.

  She still felt the chill in the room. It wasn’t cold enough for a fire yet, but it wasn’t warm enough to lie there in her underclothes, either. But even that became barely noticeable when his hand settled over one of her breasts. He was unlacing her chemise, but in such a slow manner. A touch here, the trace of his fingers along the upper edge of the thin chemise, a kiss on one shoulder to lower the strap there, a long caress to her waist to pull open the strings of her petticoat. All the while his mouth kept returning to hers. If she even thought about protesting this undressing, it was too fleeting to fully form in her mind.

  But she did think that she’d like to see some of his skin as well. Fair was fair. Enough light was coming in through the open door to offer a clear view of him, now that her eyes had adjusted. But she couldn’t mention this desire aloud.

  She picked at the shoulder of his jacket instead, until he noticed and removed it. She then picked at the shoulder of his shirt. He got that message, too. Much, much better. But he didn’t stop there, and she wasn’t prepared to see all of him.

  Her breath caught in her throat and stayed there. In no way could she think of him as an angel now, but the rogue was magnificent. No wonder his conquests were legion. Beautiful face and body, his black hair skimming his shoulders, he went so far beyond temptation in just looks alone, before he said a single sensual word, before he applied his skilled touch. It was incredible how enticing this man was. Was it even possible for a woman to resist this much visual stimulation?

  He moved back in range of her hands so she didn’t have to try. She couldn’t get enough of touching him. The silky steel of his long arms, the thick, corded neck, the powerful, hard muscles on his back, the sinewy ripples on his chest under her fingertips. She didn’t realize he was watching her in suspended wonder.

  She couldn’t imagine the myriad emotions that crossed her face as she touched him, or how her fascination aroused him. With a groan, he lowered his head and his mouth found hers again, his tongue thrusting inside for a long kiss before his tongue was suddenly laving at her breast, then surrounding it with his mouth, and she did some groaning of her own. He was like a furnace, his heat surrounding her.

  Her petticoat was lifted out of the way, her drawers tossed aside, and suddenly she had more heat than she bargained for as his body covered hers and he thrust inside her. Her cry was caught by his mouth. She knew what it was, she had just forgotten to expect it, which was probably a good thing.

  Without any anticipation to make her tense, the discomfort was minimal and too brief to interfere with all the other sensations inside her clamoring for notice. He might have gone dead still at her moment of pain, but he was still deep inside her and touching the most sensitive spot he could have found. He didn’t have to move at all for her orgasm to suddenly burst around him, and yet another soft cry escaped her, this one of immense pleasure, which sent him over the edge as well.

  It was the most sublime moment. Oh, how she wished it could have remained so.

  Chapter Twenty-two

  YOU SAVED ME FROM embarrassment my first day here,” Rebecca said shyly. “When you told me that there was no costume ball that night, after Elizabeth had convinced me there was. I never did thank you for that warning.”

  She was lying in Rupert’s arms, a thin sheet draped over their entwined legs. He’d pulled her there and was holding her rather tightly, which was all right, since he was also caressing her most tenderly. She was loath to end the embrace, though she knew she would have to return to her room soon.

  “That was you?” he replied. “Yes, of course it was. I should have remembered the hat.”

  That easily, the tenderness was gone. It was the hat. It must have reminded him of the second time he’d seen her wearing it—in Nigel’s room. She’d thought they had moved beyond that, but apparently not.

  He stopped caressing her. He didn’t push her away, but she had a feeling he’d like to. She sighed to herself. She’d behaved outrageously. She’d let herself get completely carried away by a rogue’s seduction. She should have known better than to put herself in a position where it could happen, but she didn’t regret it. However, she would now leave, before he spoiled what had been for her the most wonderful experience of her life.

  She sat up, started to move her legs off the bed, but couldn’t. The bed was situated oddly in a corner of the room. She hadn’t really noticed it before because she’d been facing Rupert. But now she encountered a solid wall blocking her exit, leaving her with the options of scooting slowly to the foot of the bed—or climbing over him. Had he purposely positioned his bed this way to make it more difficult for his conquests to leave him until he was ready to let them go?

  Of course not. She was being silly. The bed had no doubt been in that position when he’d moved into the suite and he hadn’t bothered to move it.

  Having lost the warmth of his body, a sudden chill reminded her that she was half-naked. Her chemise was bunched about her waist. Feeling some belated embarrassment, she pulled up her chemise. Her petticoat was in the same position, and with the strings untied would slide off her hips the moment she stood up, so she corrected that, too, before she started to slide toward the foot of the bed. At least her coiffure was still mostly in place, thanks to Flora’s skill. She only needed to adjust a few hairpins so that nothing would look amiss.

  “Giving up such a prime advantage?” she heard him say behind her. “I’m disappointed, ’deed I am.”

  He didn’t sound disappointed, he simply sounded sarcastic. Why was he being so unpleasant after what they had just shared? She should be the one outraged that he’d made love to her instead of listening to her. But how could she be angry over something so beautiful that she
still felt the bubbly glow of it?

  She said nothing until she was on her feet and had snatched up her dress from the floor and tossed it over her head. “I don’t know what you mean, but then you say a lot of things that make no sense to me.”

  “You’re mumbling.”

  She sighed and pulled the dress down off her face, then condensed her remark to “What advantage?” as she slipped her arms into the quarter-length sleeves.

  “Your bare breasts of course, as if you don’t know. A very pretty distraction.”

  He was just being his usual naughty self, she supposed. A little more tact would have been appreciated considering her highly emotional state. All positive emotions, but still, it wasn’t every day one lost her virginity to a rogue…good God, this was what John Keets had tried to warn her about! If anyone found out, it wouldn’t just result in her losing her post at court, it would be her ruination! But she quickly tamped down the fear that started to rise. No one was going to learn of this, and it could instead lead to something even more wonderful….

  She gave him a shy smile, but it was a mistake to look at him again. He was lying there facing her in sublime repose, raised up, leaning on one elbow, his wide, bare chest in full view, the thin sheet barely covering the hip his other arm rested on. The long, lean hardness of his body, the perfection of his face, his silky black hair in sexy disarray—my God, did he even know what a feast he was for her eyes?

  “Stop it!” he snapped. “Ah, a better advantage after all, I see.”

  She blinked. Another ambiguous remark was just too much for her. “Why would I need an advantage?” she asked in genuine confusion.

  “Don’t you? Hmm, I suppose you could reason that such an extreme sacrifice for the cause was enough. I’m impressed at your sense of dedication. Tell me, is she getting desperate now that Nigel is out of the country? Can’t figure out what he’s up to?”

  “She?”

  “Don’t play ignorant now, Becca. It doesn’t become you. You know very well we’re speaking of Sarah.”

  She drew in her breath sharply, beginning to understand. “We are doing nothing of the sort. You’ve made some ridiculous assumptions tonight. Is this yet another test? Or are you looking for a means to assuage your guilt?”

  He snorted. “What guilt? I took what you offered. I gave you ample time to bolt, but you didn’t. You don’t think I would have tried to stop you, do you?”

  “I had information for you,” she said, her voice rising in indignation. “I couldn’t leave before I gave it to you, and you didn’t let me do that!”

  “Did I tie a gag over your mouth?”

  “You know very well you kept interrupting me!”

  “Rubbish. You were sent to pry information out of me—by any means. Did you really think I’m so stupid that I wouldn’t figure that out?”

  His derisive tone hurt her the most and prompted her to reply, “No, you’re just stupid! Nigel told me you could be trusted to pass information to. That’s why—”

  He cut in, “Nigel wouldn’t have said anything of the sort. He knows very well I can’t be trusted with any woman.”

  She could believe that! But his doubt made her so angry she just wanted to get out of there. Furiously, she glanced around the floor for her last article of clothing, which she refused to leave behind.

  “Looking for these?” he smirked.

  He was twirling her drawers about on his finger. She snatched them out of his hand with a gasp and turned around to put them on. Hearing his tsk behind her because she was denying him a view of her bare legs just infuriated her all the more. She was halfway to the door when she realized her dress wasn’t fastened and she couldn’t do it herself.

  Gritting her teeth, she marched back and sat on the bed next to him.

  “Fix it!” she said angrily.

  He didn’t play dumb. How could he when she was presenting him with her gaping dress?

  He did sigh though as he sat up and said, “I suppose I must.”

  He ended up taking ten times as long to fasten the gown as he took to undo it. Deliberately, she didn’t doubt. But when he finished, he planted a soft kiss on her bare shoulder. It was the last straw.

  She shot to her feet and turned around. “How could you turn this into a battlefield? You know very well I’ve agreed to help Nigel. I gave you his note, didn’t I?”

  “What note?”

  “After you kissed me in the hall.” When he still looked confused, she shouted, “The one I threw at you!”

  He didn’t look confused now, in fact, he looked angry. “Nice try, luv, but that was nothing that Nigel would have sent to me.”

  “It wasn’t? Well, whatever it was, he asked me to give it to you.”

  “That’s about as far-fetched as it can get. I’m sure you can think of something more believable.”

  “Do you realize you’re calling me a liar?”

  “Was I not obvious enough for you to be sure? A liar, a thief, oh, and now I suppose I must add—tempting seductress. How the hell did you develop that trait and remain a virgin this long?”

  Rebecca was incredulous. He thought all of that and still he’d made love to her? What a despicable rogue.

  With a fulsome glare, she told him, “I’m going to say this only because I feel I must. Nigel assured me the prince would vouch for him. I had hoped that would happen tonight, but it didn’t. And while I have already come across the sort of information Nigel asked for, I don’t feel I can give it to him without hearing from the prince first. But you, for some stupid reason I can no longer fathom, I trusted you to at least not be a detriment to our country. And Nigel did say that you could be given whatever oddities I found out about. So I came here to let you decide if the information I have warrants immediate attention, or if it can merely be passed along to Nigel at your leisure.”

  “What information?”

  “Lady Constance was sent to the city this morning to deliver a note for Sarah. The girl was so upset about having to venture into London alone again that she ignored Sarah’s warning to keep the task secret and told me about it. If secrecy hadn’t been stressed, I might not have thought it was anything out of the ordinary. But in either case, I couldn’t let her go alone when she was so clearly upset about it, so I offered to accompany her. And that is what I was doing here tonight. I came to tell you about Lord Alberton and Sarah’s interest in him.”

  Rupert didn’t appear the least bit surprised or concerned, and the reason became clear when he said, “I’d think an intelligent young woman like you would surmise that I already knew this, since I saw your coach at his house. I must congratulate you, though. That really would have been a splendid excuse, all quite plausible, except for one thing. I’d already asked you what you were doing on Wigmore Street and you gave me quite a different answer. Or are you admitting that you lied to me this morning, when you told me that your maid was visiting a friend?”

  “I merely said she had friends in town, not that she had any on that particular street.”

  “You implied it.”

  “You were interrogating me again!” Rebecca shot back. “I took offense.”

  “So let me get this straight. Not only did you lie instead of taking that perfect opportunity this morning to deliver your information, but you’re also saying that you let a little indignation take precedence over something you now deem important enough to warrant your breaking into my room? Does that about sum it up, m’dear?”

  “No, but this does. After the horrible treatment I’ve had at your hands, I’m done with this whole affair. I won’t be helping anyone anymore, least of all someone who calls you a friend. You can tell Nigel that and lay the reason for it at your own door. Good night, Sir Rogue,” she ended scathingly. “You’ve earned your title well.”

  She marched to his door, but at least she had the presence of mind to recall her earlier concern about a scandal and look both ways down the corridor to make sure it was empty before she hurried away. Rupert did
n’t try to stop her. In a daze of angry thoughts, she got lost after all and ended up running up a grand staircase and down the queen’s corridor! Two royal attendants turned her back around right quickly, and she took better note of her directions after that until she was safely in her room. Elizabeth’s snoring didn’t even bother her. She was mired so deep in hurt and angry thoughts over what had happened tonight that the palace could have fallen down around her without her noticing.

  Chapter Twenty-three

  REBECCA NEVER RECOVERED FROM her last encounter with Rupert St. John. Weeks went by, but the hurt and anger she had experienced that night remained with her. Nothing would distract her from it for long.

  A trip to the theater with the duchess and her full entourage had been the most successful of the distractions. Rebecca had actually enjoyed that. Finally meeting the young queen had been exciting as well, but too brief. Few palace entertainments took place now as Victoria got closer to her term. The few words Prince Albert had spared for her offering his reassurance that Nigel Jennings was a devoted servant of the crown had come too late.

  She no longer cared that Nigel’s devotion to his queen and his country was so long and so superlative that it was above reproach. She was never again putting herself in a position to be called a liar or labeled a thief. So she closed her eyes and her ears to whatever Lady Sarah was up to. She simply didn’t care anymore.

  The boredom of her days left her too much time to think about, and revile, him. Rebecca had walked away from Rupert a number of times at evening entertainments. Why couldn’t she have done so that night, before it became so fateful?

  She’d kept tears to herself, but her snappy temper she wasn’t as successful at hiding had embarrassed her more than once. She no longer had any tolerance for Elizabeth’s vile disposition, which had culminated in a veritable screaming match that Rebecca wasn’t the least bit proud to have been a part of. But it did have one positive outcome. Elizabeth, in high dudgeon, had packed up her things and vacated the room. Too bad she hadn’t left the palace as well.