To Hold Forever

by Carrie Carr

Cleve got up and kicked his chair away from the table. "You're full of shit." He started toward to the door. "Besides, she got out of it all right. No big deal." He went outside for a smoke.

  Several of the men, including Ben and Chet, followed him. "I think that son of a bitch needs to be taught a few things," Ben muttered. He nodded to Roy, who raised his coffee cup in salute.

  "If I were twenty years younger, I'd join those boys," Lester commented. "What are you going to do about it?"

  "Not a damned thing." Roy grinned over his cup and took another sip.

  Chet was the first one through the door. He cleared his throat, causing Cleve to turn around.

  Cleve took a drag from his cigarette and turned when he heard footsteps behind him. "What the fuck do you guys want?"

  "You know, we don't much like you." Chet knocked the cigarette from Cleve's lips.

  "Hey! What the hell did you do that for?" Cleve turned his head. He realized he was surrounded by four men. "Uh, guys. What are-- ugh." He bent over when Chet punched him in the stomach.

  Ben grabbed one arm and Jack the other. "Lex isn't only our boss," Ben explained, "she's a damned good friend, too." They stood Cleve upright so Chet could hit him again.

  Raising his right fist, Chet slammed it into the side of Cleve's face. "We're tired of your damned attitude, asshole." He punched him again, this time in the nose, causing a crunching sound and blood to spray everywhere. Another blow to Cleve's cheek opened up a wide cut.

  "Stop," Cleve wheezed.

  "I don't think so." Chet slugged him in the gut several more times. He stopped and rubbed his reddened knuckles.

  Jack released his hold, which caused Cleve to drop to his knees. "Had enough, you prick?"

  "Fuck you." Cleve spat blood at his feet.

  "You're an idiot, boy." Ben held Cleve up by his shirt. "I think it's time you moved on." He shoved him into the wall of the bunk house. "Get your stuff and get out of here."

  The battered man knelt in the dirt with his arms wrapped around his middle. "I'm glad I left that bitch behind. She's as pathetic as the rest of you." He never saw Ben's boot coming toward his face. Cleve was unconscious before he toppled forward into the dirt.

  "THIS SUCKS!" LEX reached her fingers into the cervical collar in an attempt to loosen the constrictive piece. "Why won't they take this damned thing off me? There's nothing wrong with my neck."

  Amanda pulled her hand away. "Stop it. You're going to pull out your IV if you keep that up." She was on the verge of asking for a tranquilizer. Not for her partner, but for herself. Lex had been fidgeting for over an hour and it was about to drive Amanda insane.

  The door opened and a nurse stepped into the room. "I'm sorry to do this, but visiting hours are almost over." She held a needle and waved it in the air. "And it's time for someone's sedative."

  "I don't need it."

  "Oh, I think you do." The nurse gave a sympathetic look to Amanda as she inserted the needle into the intravenous drip. "You have about five more minutes, and then you'll have to leave, dear."

  Amanda waited until the nurse closed the door behind her. She leaned over the bed until she was close to Lex's face. "Guess that's my cue." Placing a soft kiss on her lover's lips, she pulled away and brushed the hair from Lex's eyes. "Hopefully we can take you home in the next day or two. Are you going to be all right here by yourself?"

  "Sure." Lex felt a lethargic wave wash over her. "Probably sleep all night, anyway." Her eyes closed. "Love you."

  "I love you, too." Amanda kissed her forehead. "Rest well, honey." She slowly backed out of the room and was startled when she almost ran into her grandmother.

  Anna Leigh caught Amanda around the shoulders so they wouldn't collide. "Careful. How's Lexington?"

  "She's doing pretty well. The doctor is optimistic that she can go home tomorrow or the next day if her tests come back all right."

  "Wonderful." Anna Leigh put her arm around Amanda's waist. "Come home with me. Jacob took Lorrie there earlier and I've been able to talk Martha and Charlie into staying the night."

  "I guess I'll have to since they won't let me stay here." Amanda followed her down the hallway. "Let me leave the number at the nurses' station in case they need me."

  They had walked through the outside doors when they met Michael and Lois. He was wearing a plain white tee shirt with his dress slacks, which was unusual for him. "How's Lex? I called the ranch to see how you were feeling and Roy told me what happened."

  Amanda ran into her father's arms and leaned against his chest. "I'm so glad you're here." She turned her head to smile at Lois. "Thanks for coming."

  "We came as soon as we heard." Lois rubbed her back in a comforting motion. She had grown quite fond of Amanda over the past couple of years and thought of her as a daughter. "How is she?"

  Anna Leigh kissed Lois on the cheek in greeting. "She's resting. I was about to take Mandy home with me. Why don't you two join us?"

  Michael squeezed his daughter before releasing her. "That sounds like a great idea. We'll peek in on Lex, and then come over."

  "Thanks, Dad." Amanda released him and gave Lois a brief hug, which was gently returned.

  "Let's go, dearest. We can visit more when we get home." Anna Leigh took Amanda by the hand and directed her to the car.

  Once they were inside and buckled up, Amanda let her head drop against the seat. She closed her eyes and released a heavy breath. "My God, it's been a hell of a day."

  "It certainly has. How are you faring?" Anna Leigh drove the car out of the hospital lot and headed toward her home.

  "I'm a little queasy and I have the worst headache," Amanda admitted. "It took a lot of self-control to keep from climbing into that bed with Lex." She stifled a sob as the day's horrors caught up with her. Bending at the waist, Amanda covered her face with her hands and began to cry.

  Keeping her eyes on the road and one hand on the steering wheel, Anna Leigh put her other hand on Amanda's back. "That's it, honey. Let it all out." She slowed the car down and brought them into a nearby parking lot. Unbuckling her seat belt, she quickly took her granddaughter into her arms and held her close. "Sshh. Everything's going to be fine." Anna Leigh ran her fingers through Amanda's hair in an attempt to calm her.

  Amanda didn't know how long they sat there, but she was finally able to sit up. She accepted several tissues from Anna Leigh and gently blew her nose. "Thanks. I don't know where that all came from."

  "We all have to give in and have a good cry now and then. It cleanses the soul." She used her fingertips to wipe the tears from Amanda's face. "At least that's what I've always been told. Personally, I think it's the only way to stay sane."

  "I think you're right. Although I don't know how sane I am."

  Anna Leigh laughed. "I'm afraid that's the Cauble coming out in you, my dear. We've never been known for our sanity." She kissed Amanda's cheek. "Are you up to going home?"

  "Now, I am. Thanks, Gramma." Amanda sniffled and sat up straighter. "Let's go see what kind of trouble my daughter has gotten into."

  WHEN SHE HEARD the front door open, Lorrie dropped the crayon she had been using, climbed down from her seat at the kitchen table and raced into the entryway. Before her mother could even walk completely into the house, she attached herself to Amanda's leg. "Mommy! Me 'n Gamps clorled."

  "He did? What did you and Gamps color?" Amanda picked Lorrie up and hugged her. "I missed you, honey. Have you been a good girl?"

  Jacob came out of the kitchen. "She's been a little angel. We played with her building blocks, watched a video, and have been drawing and coloring for about half an hour. You'd have been proud of her."

  "I always am." Amanda carried her over and kissed her grandfather's cheek. "It sounds like you two have had a busy evening."

  "We have." He followed Amanda and Anna Leigh into the living room. Amanda and Lorrie sat on the sofa, while Anna Leigh and Jacob took their favorite place on the loveseat. "How's our big girl doing?" He refrained from calling
Lex by name, to keep from upsetting Lorrie.

  Amanda nuzzled Lorrie's soft hair and then kissed her head. "She's in quite a bit of pain, but already wants to leave. The nurse sedated her before I left." She looked around and realized who was missing. "Where's Martha and Charlie?"

  "They've gone to pick up dinner. Lorrie had hers already, but the rest of us are getting deli sandwiches."

  "That sounds good." Amanda shook her head at Lorrie's antics when the little girl slid off her lap and started dancing in front of her. "What are you doing?"

  Lorrie wiggled her rear end. "Me bubbet."

  "Bubbet?"

  Jacob laughed. "I think that it's my fault. We watched a video with dancing puppets. So now she wants to be one."

  "Ah." Amanda nodded and clapped as Lorrie danced. "That's wonderful, sweetie." Unable to control the yawn that escaped, she leaned against the back of the sofa.

  Anna Leigh stood and picked up Lorrie. "I think it's about someone's bath time. Would you like to go play in the tub for a while?"

  "Yep." Lorrie gladly wrapped her arms around her grandmother's neck. She looked around the room. "Where's momma?" Lex was her favorite bath buddy.

  Amanda felt tears sting her eyes. "Momma's got an owie and she's at the hospital."

  "Hopil?"

  "That's right, darling girl. Your Momma's at the hospital, but she misses you very much." Anna Leigh turned her head when Michael and Lois stepped into the room. "Hello, you two."

  Lorrie struggled to get out of her grandmother's arms. "Gampi!" She held out her hands to Michael, who immediately took her.

  "How's my sweet girl?" He kissed her cheek. "I swear, I think you've grown overnight."

  "Good." Lorrie leaned to get her kiss from Lois, as well. "Mimi, tub?"

  Lois gave Anna Leigh a questioning glance. "I'm assuming it's bath time?"

  "Yep." Lorrie wriggled to a tune in her head while she was in Michael's arms. "Tub!"

  He handed her off to Anna Leigh. "I think I'll let you handle that bit of fun, Mom."

  "Yay!" Lorrie clapped her hands. "Gramma, me go!"

  "The princess has spoken," Anna Leigh announced. "Lois, would you care to join us?"

  "I'd be delighted." Lois took Amanda's hand and squeezed it. "How are you holding up?"

  Amanda wiped a tear from her face and tried to smile. "I'm doing all right, thanks." She gestured to the doorway, where her grandmother held Lorrie. "You'd better go. Lorrie gets impatient when it's time for her bath."

  Nodding, Lois squeezed her hand before releasing it. "If you need anything, let me know."

  "I will." After they left the room, Amanda exhaled heavily. "That child's energy is exhausting."

  Michael sat next to her and put his arm around her shoulders. "Don't take this the wrong way, but you look completely worn out. Why don't you go on to bed and we'll tuck Lorrie in?"

  "You're right, I'm beat. But she usually sleeps with me."

  "Let your grandmother and me take her," Jacob offered. "I can move the crib into our room."

  The thought was tempting, but Amanda didn't want to be alone for the night. "No, that's fine. I'd like her with me, if that's okay with you."

  Jacob understood. He knew that without Lex, Amanda could feel lost. He felt the same way about Anna Leigh. "Of course. At least let us get her ready for bed, so after you eat, you can join her."

  "All right." She leaned into her father's embrace. "I'm glad this day is almost over. I've had about all I can stand." She knew the next few days would be trying and hoped she'd get through them without losing her mind.

  THE ROOM WAS dark and quiet. Although it was after visiting hours, Travis had charmed one of the evening nurses into allowing him access. He moved hesitantly to the bed and looked down at his granddaughter's face. The nurse had explained her injuries, but it was still a shock when he saw her for himself. Lex's eyes were closed, but he could still make out the faint lines in her face that showed her discomfort. Travis brushed the hair away from her eyes and was surprised when they opened.

  "Gran'pa?" Lex squinted at his shadowy figure. "What time izzit?"

  "I'm sorry, Lexie. I didn't mean to wake you." He continued to stroke her hair. Her eyes were glassy from the medication she was on. "It's pretty late. I wanted to see how you were doing." He silently cursed himself for not being home when Amanda called to tell him of Lex's accident. He and Ellie had traveled to Austin to settle some old business of his and he couldn't get to the hospital quick enough after finding the unsettling message on his answering machine.

  "S'okay. M'glad you're here." She blinked several times in an attempt to clear her vision. "Didja see 'Manda?"

  He couldn't help but smile at her speech. Every word sounded like a great effort. "No, honey. It's well past visiting hours and she's probably home in bed by now."

  A goofy look covered Lex's face. "I mish her. Hey, we're gonna have a baby, ya know."

  Travis' eyes widened. "You are?"

  "Yep. Well, 'Manda is. I'm jus' gonna help." Her eyes closed, although Lex struggled to stay awake. "She's such a good mom." One lid partially opened, but only for a moment. "I love her."

  Travis bit his lip to keep from laughing at her. "I know you do. She loves you too, you know."

  "Uh huh." Lex opened her mouth again, but only a soft snore came out.

  He chuckled and shook his head. "Rest well, Lexie." After placing a kiss on her forehead, Travis left the room.

  Chapter Eighteen

  UPON WAKING, CLEVE tried to take a mental inventory of his aching body. First and foremost, the pain was close to unbearable. There wasn't a muscle or body part that wasn't in agony. He slowly rolled onto his back from the fetal position he had fallen asleep in. He stared at the ceiling, which was the roof of the hay barn.

  The previous day, after he regained consciousness, he left the yard of the bunk house and pulled himself up into his truck. Unable to drive very far, Cleve ended up parking behind the barn and crawling behind a tall stack of hay, only to pass out again.

  It was all her fault. He was certain of that. The more he thought about his situation, the more Cleve hated his half-sister. She had everything he always coveted--a home, the respect of her peers and a woman to share her life. He closed his eyes and smiled. Amanda. Her gentle smile, her soft hair and the way she carried herself, were what attracted him to her. He considered the last time he saw Amanda. Those once-friendly eyes blazed with anger and she never looked more beautiful. He believed that if he could spend more time alone with her, he could get her to forget all about his controlling sibling. Cleve knew in his heart he could have her with very little effort on his part. She was beautiful and he fancied himself as quite the ladies' man. It would be a piece of cake.

  With a pained grunt, he sat up. Once again, he cursed Lex. She probably paid the men in her employ to knock him around. It would be just like her. Maybe Amanda mentioned an interest in him, which made his sister so jealous that she wanted Cleve out of the picture. Yes, that was probably it.

  He cautiously prodded his side. It didn't feel like anything was broken, only bruised. His nose was a different matter entirely. It was bent to one side and impossible to breathe through.

  "Damn bitch. I hope she hurts like hell." He thought about the look on her face right before he rode away. The pain and the anger she showed brought another smile to his face. It would have made him happier if Lex had never been found. Maybe then he could have taken his rightful place as head of the ranch and in Amanda's bed. Cleve was determined to make her his, and not even his sister's interference would stop him.

  LEX BLINKED HEAVILY at the bright light above. It had been a rude awakening, being hauled to radiology so early in the morning. She was hoping they'd get the answers they wanted so she could get out of the cervical collar. At the sound of footsteps she tried to see who approached, but her head was immobilized.

  "Well, hello there." The x-ray technician leaned over Lex to make eye contact. "There are a few questions
I have to ask, then we'll get right to it."

  "Ugh." Lex cleared her throat and tried again. "Like what?"

  The woman waved a clipboard. "The usual things we ask everyone before giving them an x-ray. If possible, of course."

  "Okay." Lex swallowed several times.

  "Good." The tech patted Lex lightly on the arm. She checked her questionnaire and shook her head. "Some of these questions are silly, but bear with me."

  Lex closed her eyes. "Go ahead."

  "All righty. Your name?"

  "Lexington Walters."

  The woman made a notation. "Good. Date of birth?" After Lex answered several more of the questions, she turned the page. "Only a few more and we're through. "Are you pregnant?"

  "No!"

  "Now, now. Don't get upset. Like I said, these are all routine. Are you taking birth control?"

  Lex sighed. "Of course not."

  "Oh? Are you trying to become pregnant?"

  "Not me, but--"

  "All right. Fine." The tech checked off several more boxes on her paper. "I assume you use condoms?"

  To Lex, the questions kept getting more ridiculous. "No. We don't use anything."

  "Well, you know it's not a good idea to have unprotected sex. Even if you're careful, you can have an unplanned pregnancy. Not to mention all the sexually transmitted diseases."

  That comment caused Lex to laugh, then moan. "We're safe. Don't make me laugh, it hurts."

  "Honey, it's not a laughing matter."

  "Lady, I'm gay. My wife is good, but she's not that good." Lex closed her eyes as the ache in her head became a constant pounding. "Can we get this over with?"

  "Um, sure." Her horizons suddenly expanded, the technician quieted and got to work.

  RELIEVED TO HAVE finally gotten rid of the cervical collar, Lex scratched determinedly at her throat. The constant itching drove her nuts. She could already feel the places where her skin was raw and there didn't seem to be any relief coming in the near future. She shifted slightly in the bed and bit back a moan. Even though she wanted to leave the hospital, her body had other ideas. Shooting pains down her back made Lex consider hitting the call button for another dose of pain killing medication. The only drawback to being on the medication was not being coherent and she was looking forward to visiting hours.