To Hold Forever

by Carrie Carr

  He moved away from the mirror and gathered his personal belongings. Cleve tucked his wallet into his back pocket. The ragged leather bifold had been a gift from his mother and he carried her picture inside. He couldn't wait for her to meet Amanda. Maybe when he took over the ranch, Marcy would come live with them. "That's right. Mom will be so proud of me. She's always wanted a daughter." Cleve took his keys from the dresser and picked up the duffle bag he used for his clothes.

  After checking out of the run down motel, Cleve decided he needed to find a place to board his horse, at least temporarily. He didn't want Lex to do anything to it out of spite. Once he was in control of the ranch, he'd bring his horse to the main barn, so it would be nearby.

  Cleve stopped for a newspaper and took it into the diner. Not seeing any empty tables, he found a stool at the counter.

  A smiling redhead stopped in front of him. "What can I get you to drink, hon?"

  "Coffee, black." He opened the paper and started reading the classified ads. He had to give the woman credit. She never looked twice at his puffy face. When a white ceramic mug was placed in front of him, Cleve raised his eyes. "Thanks."

  "You're welcome." Francine wiped the counter next to him. "Can I get you something to eat?"

  He folded his paper over and pushed it out of the way. "What do you suggest?"

  Francine leaned over and gave him a nice view of her considerable assets. "A nicer place." She winked and straightened. "But, if you're determined to eat here, the pot roast hasn't killed anyone. Yet."

  "Sounds good." Cleve waited until she left before he returned to reading the ads. Maybe he'd wait until the waitress got off work, and see if she'd show him around town. He could use a good distraction.

  AFTER TEN MINUTES of non-stop chattering, the silence in the kitchen came as a surprise to Amanda. She placed her fork next to her plate and touched Lex's hand to get her attention. "I think someone has finally lost the battle."

  Lex turned to see what she was talking about. A smile crossed her face at the sight. "Poor kid. Looks like she's out for the count."

  Sound asleep, Lorrie's head was bent at an almost impossible angle. Her chin rested on her chest, and she still held her spoon with one hand. Mashed potatoes covered both cheeks. What appeared to be bits of meatloaf clung to her chin.

  "She enjoys her food, that's for sure." Amanda stood and pried the utensil from the sleeping child's hand. She never saw Lex leave the table, but was thankful for the damp towel that was handed to her. Between the two of them it took no time at all to get Lorrie clean. Amanda tucked her against her chest. "I'll take her upstairs."

  "While you're doing that, I'll get things put away down here." Lex brushed her palm over Lorrie's hair and kissed her head.

  Putting Lorrie to bed was more of a chore than Amanda expected. Lorrie had partially awakened while Amanda put her pajamas on her and started to fuss. With the promise of having a book read to her, the little girl cooperated and was asleep in no time.

  A noise across the hall got Amanda's attention. She took one last look at her daughter's sleeping face before going into the master bedroom. The bathroom door opened, and Lex hobbled out. She was wearing a tee shirt and boxers, and the long knee brace she'd been forced to wear home from the hospital was missing. "What are you doing?"

  "Getting ready for bed." Heavily favoring her leg, she plopped onto the bed.

  "Sometimes I wonder how many children I'm raising. What am I going to do with you?" Amanda didn't expect an answer. She went about her own nightly rituals and soon joined Lex. Her partner reclined on the bed, leafing through a child development magazine. "Anything interesting?"

  Lex lowered the periodical. "It warns that toddlers tend to be argumentative." She placed it on her nightstand. A standoff between Amanda and Lorrie earlier in the day came to mind. "I think whoever wrote the article knew our daughter."

  "No kidding." Amanda waited until Lex was stretched out comfortably again. She edged closer and ran her hand softly across her lover's knee. "It's looking better."

  "Yep." Although still tender, her knee was able to bear more weight. Lex was confident that she could begin wearing a smaller brace, and was glad to be free of the cumbersome stabilizer for the evening.

  Amanda snuggled against Lex's side. "I didn't expect you to be here."

  "Where was I supposed to be?"

  "After our talk this afternoon on the porch, I thought that you'd go to the barn after dinner." Amanda traced her finger across Lex's stomach. "Not that I'm complaining or anything. You seemed so antsy today."

  "I guess I was." Lex ran her fingers through Amanda's hair.

  Lifting her head slightly, Amanda turned to face her. "Why didn't you?"

  "Because I promised Lorrie she could go with me. But since she fell asleep at dinner, I changed my mind."

  "You could have still gone. She would have never known." Caught up in the light in Lex's eyes, Amanda almost forgot what they were talking about.

  A small grin appeared on her face when she saw the far off look in Amanda's face. "She might not have, but I would. I'm not going to break my promises to her, if I can help it."

  "You're a good mom, Lex. She's a lucky little girl."

  Lex pulled Amanda's face to her for a kiss. "I think I'm the lucky one. Many times over." She started to tug on Amanda's shirt. "You're over-dressed again." She easily divested Amanda of her top, the years of practice making it almost second nature. With a half roll of her body, Lex playfully pinned her lover to the bed. "Let's see if I can finish what we started on the swing today."

  Amanda worked her hands beneath Lex's shorts to pull her closer to her. She lifted her chin as soft lips claimed her throat. The exhaustion she felt from the long day slowly receded as Lex lovingly worshipped her body.

  HUBERT HATED SHOPPING. He would rather order things off the Internet. But some things, like groceries, were a necessity. It still rankled him. He wondered if Somerville would ever join the twenty-first century and have grocery deliveries. Still grumbling to himself, he wandered the aisles, pushing a cart that seemed to have a mind of its own. Turning a corner, he slammed into another cart. "Why don't you pay attention to where you're going, asshole?"

  "Hubert?" Ellie leaned on her cart with an amused smile on her face. "Looks like someone finally got tired of your mouth."

  "Fuck you."

  A firm hand grasped his shoulder. "You should watch your language, young man."

  Hubert spun around. His grandfather held a bag of coffee beans in one hand. "Leave me the hell alone, old man." A sudden thought flickered through his mind. "Actually, I was thinking about you, grandfather."

  "Oh?" Travis didn't like the sound of that. "What are you up to, now?"

  "It's nothing like that. I feel bad for how we left things the other day." Hearing a snicker from his cousin, Hubert glared at her. "It's true."

  Ellie had her elbow propped on the handle of the cart, and placed her chin in her open palm. "This ought to be good."

  Biting his tongue to hold a sharp retort, Hubert tried to smile. "Janine explained to me how things might have sounded. I apologize if I was out of line."

  "Oh?" Travis didn't believe him for a moment, but was curious as to how Hubert's little ploy would pan out. "Where is your lovely wife?"

  "That stupid bi-- I mean, she went to Huntsville. To visit," he added quickly.

  "She do that to you face?" Ellie questioned, innocently.

  His face reddened. "Yes! No, it was an accident."

  Travis had heard enough. He was tired of Hubert's games. "What is it that you want, son?"

  "I'm not your--" Hubert caught himself. "Actually, I wanted to talk to you about a business deal."

  "Oh?" Travis held up his hand to forestall Ellie's objections. "Ellie, would you mind getting the fresh vegetables? I'll be along shortly."

  She sighed, but took the coffee from him and placed it in the basket. "Sure." Glaring at Hubert, she added, "I'll be back in a few minutes."
>
  Once she left, Travis put his hands in his front pockets to appear less threatening. "Go on, tell me what you have to say."

  "It's like this. While I was away, the lease expired on my office. Those jackasses didn't give me a chance to do anything about it, and when I got home, all my shit, I mean, furniture and stuff, was gone. I wanted to ask if you'd loan me the money to get started again. I could make you a silent partner."

  "You can't be serious."

  He didn't know why his grandfather looked at him that way. Hubert thought it sounded like a perfect solution, and he wouldn't have to pay him back. "Of course I am. It's a good opportunity for someone your age. You'd have a steady income. I know how hard it is for you elderly guys. You don't think she'll take care of you in your old age, do you? Elsie is sponging off you. God knows at her age she'll never find a guy to take care of her."

  "Her name is Ellie. And for the record, I'm not about to give you one red cent." Travis stepped closer to Hubert. "You leave her, and your sister, out of your petty schemes. If I hear one word about you bothering anyone in my family, I'll have the law on you so fast it will make your head spin."

  "For what?"

  Travis smiled, but it wasn't friendly. "For whatever you're up to. Trust me. I have enough friends to help put you back in prison, where you belong."

  Rattled, Hubert swallowed nervously and straightened his jacket. "Fine. But don't come crying to me when that broad bleeds you dry." He brushed by Travis and hurried to the next aisle.

  Ellie returned in time to see Hubert's retreat. "Is everything all right?"

  "Yes." Travis put his arm around his granddaughter. "I don't think we'll have to worry about Hubert anymore."

  "I sure hope not. He's even more of a jerk than Lex says." Although she still had her problems with Lex, Ellie could tell that Hubert was nothing like her. "Do you think he was adopted?" She sincerely wished she'd never see him again, but didn't think she'd be that lucky.

  Chapter Twenty

  AMANDA WOKE TO a light breath on her exposed stomach. She was charmed by the look on her wife's face. "Good morning. How long have you been up?"

  "A while." Lex kissed her tummy. "I've been visiting with Junior."

  "Oh? And what does Junior say?"

  Lex grinned and kissed the same spot again. "She told me that you're an awesome mommy, and she can't wait to meet you."

  Amanda grabbed Lex's face and pulled. "Get up here, you nut." She kissed her, purring when the contact was deepened. "Now that's how to say good morning."

  "Yep." Lex rolled over onto her side and brought Amanda with her. "Have I told you lately how much I love you?"

  Amanda kissed her again. "You may have mentioned it a time or two dozen last night." She ran her hands under Lex's shirt and up her back. "And showed me, too. But I'll never get tired of hearing it."

  "Good. Because I don't ever plan on stopping." Wandering hands caused her to squirm. "You keep doing that, I'll show you all over again."

  "And that would be a bad thing?"

  "Mommy!" A loud voice called from across the hall. "Momma!"

  Lex chuckled at their daughter's timing. She forced herself away from Amanda and went next door to fetch their demanding offspring. Without the brace for her leg, she limped heavily. But she loved being the one who helped their child in the mornings. "Hold your horses, Lorrie."

  In a few minutes, Amanda heard the pounding of tiny feet. She barely had time to prepare herself before Lorrie climbed on the bed and launched herself at her. "Good morning, sweetie."

  "Mommy, I pottied."

  "You did?" Amanda looked at Lex, who nodded and joined them on the bed.

  "Yep," Lorrie answered. "Big girl."

  Amanda tickled her. "That's wonderful. You are getting to be a big girl."

  Lex braced herself on her left arm and put her chin on her hand. "No accidents, either. I think someone is ready for her big girl panties." They had bought her underwear in several designs. Lorrie's favorites were decorated with cartoon princesses. She knew that once she was able to go to the "big girl potty" she'd get to wear them all the time, not just during the day.

  Lorrie clapped her hands. "Yay! Big girl panties." She bounced on the bed. "Now?"

  "Yep." Lex started to get up, then remembered something. "How do we ask, Lorrie?"

  She batted her gray eyes at Lex. "Pease? Big girl panties?"

  "Good girl." Lex scooped her up and carried her off to her room to change into her new underwear. A new obstacle faced, and conquered.

  AFTER BREAKFAST, AMANDA caught Lex in the bedroom, placing a smaller brace on her injured knee. "Isn't it a little soon for that?"

  "Nope. The doctor told me I could put as much weight on it as was comfortable. It's not going to get better if I don't walk on it. I've had similar problems before, and it worked out okay."

  "If you say so." Amanda handed Lex her cane. "Stick with this for a while, please? I don't think I could carry you very far."

  Lex stood and embraced her. "I don't know. After lugging Lorrie around so much you've developed quite a set of muscles there."

  Amanda felt hands grab her butt. "That's not where my muscles are, Slim."

  "Feels pretty muscular to me." Lex kissed her on the nose and started for the door. "Let's relieve Martha of the kiddo, and head over to the barn. I promised her."

  "And that's all she's talked about this morning, other than her new underwear." Amanda linked her arm with Lex's spare one and walked down the stairs with her. "You've created another horse fanatic."

  Lex was quite pleased with herself. "Yep. That's my girl."

  They found Lorrie "helping" Martha with a pie. The little girl had a small amount of dough and was beating it with a miniature rolling pin. She had a few smudges of flour on her face and arms, but was otherwise neat.

  She looked up as they came into the kitchen. "I cookded," she related proudly.

  "I bet you did." Lex limped to the table and sat next to her. "What are you making?"

  "Pie," Lorrie answered, as if it were obvious. She put the rolling pin on the table and began to slap at the dough. "Gots to go flat," she explained. "Make yum."

  Lex gave her full attention to the little cook. She dutifully ate the small bite Lorrie offered of the dough. "You're right, lil' bit. That is yummy."

  Amanda stood next to Martha while they both watched Lorrie give Lex a cooking lesson. She marveled at her partner's patience. She seemed perfectly content to sit and listen to their daughter chatter about the pie dough, even though Amanda knew she was itching to get out of the house and to the barn. She had no doubts that their next child would receive the same caring attention, and was looking forward to seeing how their lives would unfold.

  "Done!" Lorrie turned to Martha. "Mada? We cookded?"

  Martha gathered the dough and placed it in a three and a half inch tart pan. She ladled on a spoonful of apple mixture, and covered it with the dough she had put aside for the occasion. When she was through, she showed the finished product to Lorrie. "How's that?"

  Lorrie clapped. "Good!" Her eyes never left the "pie" as Martha placed it in the oven.

  "Did you ever do that with Lex?" Amanda asked, quietly. "You're so good with Lorrie."

  "Thank you, but it's a labor of love." Martha handed Lex a damp dishtowel to clean the flour and dough from Lorrie's face and hands. "I wish I could have done the same with Lexie, but her father wouldn't hear of it. He said she didn't have time for such nonsense." She scrubbed the counter. "It was a pure shame, too. She was forever sneaking into the kitchen. I know she wanted to learn more than how to feed horses, poor thing."

  "You still did a wonderful job. I can see a lot of you in Lex. She was lucky you were here for her." Amanda saw Lex help Lorrie from the table. "It looks like you'll be getting the kitchen to yourself again."

  "Mommy, go!" Lorrie wrapped her arms around Amanda's legs. "See ossie's."

  Lex started to use the dishtowel to wipe the table. Martha took it away
from her and swatted her on the rear. "Hey."

  "I'll finish this, honey. You have more important things to take care of." She shooed them out of the kitchen. After they left, Martha leaned against the counter and wiped her forehead with her hand. "Now maybe I can get some things done."

  Lorrie raced ahead, while Lex and Amanda took a more leisurely pace to the barn. Lex limped slightly, and tried to only use her cane for balance. Her knee ached, but it wasn't anything she couldn't handle. She'd had numerous injuries growing up on the ranch, and refused to let any of them take her down for long. Lorrie stretched as far as she could to reach the handle on the barn door but could only touch it with her fingers. "Take it easy, kiddo. We'll be there soon enough."

  Amanda picked Lorrie up as Lex opened the door. They had a rule. Because there were so many things she could hurt herself with, she wasn't allowed to have free rein in the barn. "Now remember, Lorrie, let's use our inside voice, so we don't scare the horses," she reminded her.

  "Yep." Lorrie's favorite was Amanda's paint pony, Stormy. She rubbed the animal's nose gently. "Good ossie."

  Lex stopped at the new filly's stall. She did a cursory check and could see that someone had taken very good care of her. "How are you doing, girl?" She patted the horse's neck. "You look none the worse for wear. Wish I could say the same."

  "She's the horse you were on when you got hurt?" Amanda asked, bringing Lorrie with her to stand by Lex. "New, isn't she?"

  "Yep." Lex scratched behind the filly's ears, much to the horse's delight. "Even as new as she is, she did me proud out there."

  Amanda rubbed under the animal's jaw. "Does she have a name?"

  "Mine."