To Hold Forever

by Carrie Carr

  WITH A HEAVY thud, another bale of hay flew off the flatbed trailer. Lex placed her hands on her hips and stretched until several of her vertebrae popped. She groaned and took her hat off, wiping her forehead on the sleeve of her shirt. The trailer was still almost halfway full. She usually had Roy and a couple of the other men take care of it, but they were busy doing repairs to the bunkhouse after a particularly nasty ice storm had blown through. It was the second bout of bad weather they'd had since Christmas.

  She placed her hat on her head. The work wasn't going to get done while she stood around. She wanted to finish so she could clean up before Amanda and Lorrie got home. She picked up another bale and tossed it, singing along with the truck stereo that was blasting through the open windows.

  Amanda parked her Xterra beside the house and followed the loud music. She turned the corner of the barn and watched Lex work. Although she was wearing a long-sleeved denim shirt, Amanda could still see the muscles working along her back. The snug cut of Lex's jeans also caught her eye, and she stood quietly and enjoyed the scene.

  Lex could feel someone watching her. She stopped what she was doing and turned around. Amanda was standing next to the barn, watching her every move. "Hey, there." Lex jumped down and met Amanda halfway. "What's up?"

  "Hi." Amanda wiped a dab of straw from Lex's cheek. "How can you look so good, even when you're hot and sweaty?"

  "Must be your eyesight. Because I know I'm a mess." Lex removed her gloves and leaned carefully so she wouldn't get Amanda dirty and kissed her. "I'm not complaining, but why are you here? Not to see me unload hay, I'd imagine."

  "Unfortunately, no. Although it is a perk." Amanda took Lex by the hand, led her over to a bale, and sat. "There's something I need to tell you."

  Lex felt her heartbeat quicken. "What's wrong? Is Lorrie all right?" She glanced at Amanda's stomach. "Is it the baby?"

  "No, no." Amanda held Lex's hand close to her chest. "Everyone is fine. I'm sorry, I seem to be making a mess of this."

  "Please, tell me."

  Amanda exhaled heavily to settle herself. "I was doing our yearly credit checks, and found something that just didn't seem right."

  "Don't tell me your mother has been at it again. We haven't heard from her in a couple of years." Lex removed her hat and wiped her sweaty brow with her shirt sleeve.

  "No, nothing from her. But, for some reason, Kirk Trumbull has had a lien placed on the ranch."

  Lex jumped to her feet. "What? Why would Hubert's lawyer do something like that? And how is that possible?" She began to pace back and forth.

  "I don't know. Have you heard anything from him?"

  "No, of course not." Lex stopped and tossed her gloves to the ground. "I'm going to go kill that son of a bitch."

  Amanda stood and grabbed her by the belt. "No, you're not. We will drive into town and find out what's going on." She waited until Lex had calmed before releasing her. "Let's go on up to the house so you can get cleaned up."

  "But--"

  "Please don't argue with me. I'm tired, and I've got a headache that would fell a moose."

  The look on Amanda's face made Lex realize how rash she had been. She took Amanda's hand from her belt. "I'm sorry. Maybe you should stay home and get some rest."

  "No, I'd rather be with you." Amanda tugged her toward the house. "But I won't mind putting my feet up until you're ready to go." She knew Lex's temper could get her into trouble. Amanda hoped that if she were there, she'd be able to keep her calmer.

  THE DINGY OFFICE smelled like cheap cigars and old perspiration, and the lighting was dismal, at best. The greenish pall on Amanda's face wasn't a surprise. Lex considered asking her to wait in the truck, but she knew it wouldn't do any good. "Are you going to be all right?"

  "I think so." Amanda glanced at her lover. "If he gets too obnoxious, I'll throw up on him."

  Lex squeezed her hand before releasing it. "If you need to, we're out of here. He's not worth it."

  Heavy footsteps broke into their conversation. A corpulent man, panting and sweaty, stood less than ten feet from them. "What do you want?"

  "I think I should be asking you that, Trumbull." Lex closed the distance between them and he stepped away several steps. "Why did you put a lien on my ranch? I don't owe you anything."

  "No, but your brother does. He hasn't paid me a cent of his court costs." Kirk turned and went to his desk, not caring whether she followed or not. Stacks of old magazines and newspapers littered the desktop, along with file folders.

  Lex tipped the only visitor's chair and dumped the trash that covered it. She took off her coat and placed it over the seat for Amanda. "Here, sweetheart. I don't want you to catch anything." She gave Kirk a nasty look as she stood close to the desk with her arms crossed over her chest. "Drop the lien."

  He sat in an old, cloth covered desk chair. Threadbare in most places, darkly stained stuffing peeked out from multiple holes. The furniture creaked in complaint at his heavy body, but amazingly didn't collapse. "Hell, no. It's the only way I can get my money." Trumbull seemed to have noticed Amanda's appearance. "Well, well. Ain't you something." He smirked at Lex. "How'd you manage that one?"

  "None of your damned business." Lex placed her hands on his desk. "Hubert has nothing to do with the ranch. If you want money from him, that's your problem."

  "I'd say it's your problem, too." He opened the top right desk drawer, brought out a file, and tossed it on the desk by her hands. "I've got signed affidavits from him that show he's part owner. I am well within my rights."

  Lex took the file and checked the papers. "Who's this judge? I've never heard of him."

  "He's a younger guy who took over when Judge Packer retired. Hubert signed those affidavits years ago, and the judge thought they were more than enough proof to issue the lien."

  "You know this is total bullshit." Lex threw the folder onto the desk, narrowly missing him. "Hell, you were there when Judge Packer threw out Hubert's claim to the ranch. It's got to be a matter of record."

  Kirk settled in his chair. "Maybe. But it could take months to get this taken care of in court." He nodded in Amanda's direction. "It's not good for a broad in her condition to be under stress, you know. And something like this can be pretty stressful."

  "Bastard!" Lex lunged across the desk at him.

  He scooted out of her reach and laughed. "Watch it. You don't want to add assault charges, do you?"

  Amanda wasn't in the mood to bail her partner out of jail. She stood and took Lex by the arm. "Lex, this isn't getting us anywhere. Let's go." Her head was pounding and she was feeling sick to her stomach. "Please?"

  "You'd better listen to her, Walters." He stood, but kept the desk between them. "Take me to court if you want. But I'll file enough motions to keep you busy for years, if I have to. I have nothing better to do."

  Lex started around the desk, but Amanda's hold on her arm tightened. She thought about jerking free, but one look at her lover's face changed her mind. "What's wrong?"

  "It's nothing. I've got a little headache."

  The argument with the sleazy lawyer was quickly forgotten. Lex grabbed her coat and put her arm around Amanda's shoulders. "Come on. Let's get you out of here." She solicitously led her lover away. "The bastard isn't worth it." She looked at him before she opened the front door. "This isn't over, Trumbull. I'll take care of you, later."

  "Looking forward to it." His words followed them from the office.

  Amanda was pale and perspiring. Her head was pounding, her hands shook and, for a moment, she felt as if she would faint right there on the sidewalk. She was glad for Lex's supporting arm around her shoulders. Black spots dotted her vision. "I-I don't--" Her knees buckled and only Lex's strong hold kept her up.

  "Amanda?" Lex half-carried her lover to a nearby bench. She knelt at her feet. "I'm calling an ambulance." She dug in her coat pocket for her cell, but Amanda stopped her. "What?"

  "I'll be okay in a minute. Let me catch my breath." She dr
opped her head onto Lex's shoulder and closed her eyes. The headache didn't fade, but at least her nausea was better.

  Lex put her arms around Amanda and stroked her hair. She didn't know if the action was for Amanda's sake or her own. Her own hands were trembling, and the fear of something happening to Amanda or the baby weighed heavily on her mind. As much as she hated to bow to anyone, her wife and child were more important than anything. She'd check with her lawyer later to see what her options were about handling the lien.

  Amanda raised her head and looked into her lover's worried eyes. "I'm okay."

  "Are you sure? Because I can take you to the hospital." Lex put one arm underneath Amanda's legs and the other around her shoulders. She started to rise, but was stopped by a hand on her arm.

  "Don't you dare pick me up. You'll hurt yourself."

  "But--"

  "No." Amanda brushed her fingertips across Lex's cheek. "But I wouldn't mind if you brought the truck around. I'm still a little shaky."

  Lex kissed her lightly on the lips. "You got it." She quickly stood. "Don't go anywhere. I'll be right back." She took off around the corner at a jog.

  Amanda opened her mouth to tell her not to hurry, but Lex was out of sight before she could say anything. She was going to have to have a little talk with her wife. If Lex was this panicky now, she didn't think she'd be able to handle her when she finally went into labor.

  "I TOLD YOU this wasn't necessary." Amanda sat on the examining room table, glad she was finally able to change from the dreaded gown. She gave Lex, who was wisely on the other side of the room, a disgusted look. Earlier, when Amanda had gotten into the truck, Lex informed her that she had an emergency appointment with her obstetrician. Two hours later, here she was. If looks could kill, there would only be a charred spot where Lex stood. "I'm feeling better."

  Lex turned away from the window. She'd take Amanda's anger at her anytime, as long as she knew she was all right. But it was probably going to be a very chilly ride home, no matter what. "You're still pale, sweetheart. How's your headache?"

  Amanda lied. "Not as bad."

  The door opened and Dr. Vaughn stepped into the room. She noticed the distance between the couple and pursed her lips to keep from laughing. Over-protective spouses were not new to her. "Lex, why don't you join us over here?" She considered offering her protection, but didn't think Amanda was in the mood for levity.

  Lex bravely took her place next to her wife, and was pleasantly surprised when her hand was grasped and held tightly. "Is Amanda okay?"

  "That's what we're going to try and find out." The doctor sat on a rolling stool and moved closer to them. "Amanda, how long have you been getting these headaches?"

  "A couple of weeks, I guess." Amanda did her best to ignore the look she knew she was getting from Lex. "But today was the first time it's been that bad."

  Dr. Vaughn wrote something on the chart. "Your blood pressure is elevated, which I believe is the leading cause of the headaches. The blood sample we took is to check your total serum protein and I'd also like to schedule you for a glucose tolerance test next week, to be safe." She stood and gave Amanda a no-nonsense look. "I'll know more after the tests, but it's imperative you lower your stress." She turned to Lex. "That means you, too."

  "Whatever it takes." Lex willed her heart rate to slow. The last thing she needed was to pass out in the doctor's office. "Is there anything else I can do?"

  The doctor patted her on the arm. "Calm down. As far as I can tell, everything is going to be fine. Amanda, get more rest and drink plenty of fluids. You're slightly dehydrated."

  "More fluids? I pee constantly, as it is."

  "Sorry, doctor's orders." Dr. Vaughn scribbled something on a note pad and handed it to Lex. "Give this to Charlotte up front and she can schedule the test." She started to leave the room. "Amanda? Don't be too hard on her. Lex was right in having you come in."

  Amanda waited until the doctor left, before she allowed Lex to help her down from the table. "Don't let it go to your head."

  "What?"

  "What she said. Just because you were right this time, doesn't mean you can hover more than you already are." She put her arm around Lex and leaned into her. "But if you want to take me home and give me another long massage, I'm all yours."

  Lex did her best not to gloat. It would only make things harder on her later. "I like the sound of that." She escorted Amanda from the office, relieved that she wasn't in as much trouble as she had feared.

  AFTER RETURNING FROM the doctor's office for the second time in as many weeks, Amanda was beside herself. The news hadn't been good. She was inconsolable, although Lex tried her best to bring her out of her funk.

  The drive home had been tense, and now that they were in the house, Lex tried again. "But, it's not as bad as it could have been." She followed behind Amanda until they were in the kitchen.

  "Not as bad?" Amanda opened a cabinet and brought out a glass, slamming the door shut. "How can you say that?" She opened the refrigerator, took out the carton of low-acid orange juice, and poured it into the glass. Replacing the carton, she slammed the appliance's door. She turned her angry eyes to Lex. "It practically amounts to house arrest."

  Lex considered taking Amanda into her arms in an attempt to calm her. When she took a step forward, the glare she received caused her to rethink the notion. "I know it feels like that now, but the doctor is concerned for you. And so am I."

  Amanda's glucose tolerance test came back as borderline. Dr. Vaughn explained to them how the baby was large for its gestational age and it was too soon for the intensity of the false labor pains she was already beginning to feel. Amanda would have to stop working until after the baby was born. Because of her family history, or, at least, her sister's first delivery nightmare, the doctor ordered Amanda on limited bed rest. It hadn't been a complete surprise to Amanda, but she still felt like she was being imprisoned. "It's too soon for this. I don't want to be stuck out here with nothing to do. I'll go nuts."

  The comment stung. Lex thought Amanda liked having the ranch as their home. "Do you want us to get a house in town? Or maybe stay with your grandparents?" She waited until Amanda sat at the table. "What do you want?"

  "No, that's not what I meant." Amanda looked into the glass of juice as if hoping to find the answer there. "I want to be able to enjoy this."

  Lex knelt next to her chair and cautiously put her hand on Amanda's stomach. "You can. We will. Don't think of this as a bad thing, sweetheart. We can spend this time together, learning how the baby grows."

  Amanda raised her head and gazed into her lover's eyes. "Together, huh?"

  "Yep. You don't think I'm going to let you have all the fun, do you?" Lex took Amanda's hand and held it to her chest. "This is a magical time, and I plan on sharing every single minute with you."

  "Keep reminding me of that, will you? And please don't let my bitchiness run you off." Amanda used her free hand to cup Lex's face. The stories she had heard from other women about their spouse's lack of support had worried her. But she should have known better than to think Lex would fall into that category. She was truly blessed to have such an understanding partner.

  "Never. You're stuck with me. Besides, bed rest can be a good thing, you know. I'll be there to keep you company." Her lascivious grin had the desired effect. Amanda's laughter was music to her ears.

  "I think the operative word there is rest, Slim. And if you're in bed with me, the last thing on my mind will be rest." She felt the burden lift from her shoulders, and now the thought of spending the next three months at home didn't seem so bad.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  LEX STOMPED ALONG the sidewalk, her hands itching to throttle someone. They were shoved in the pockets of her duster and her hat was low over her eyes. The meeting with her lawyer didn't go as she had hoped, but she knew it would be in bad form to strangle the bearer of the bad news.

  Melvin Taft contacted her after an unsuccessful meeting with the judge. The n
ew magistrate was not impressed with the particulars of the case. He refused to rule on the validity of Kirk Trumbull's claim, saying the two parties would have to come to an understanding on their own. Mel related his feelings that Judge Stewart was homophobic, and that Trumbull had used that to his advantage. The only way to remove the lien was for Kirk to voluntarily remove it, which wasn't going to happen, or to pay him. That option didn't sit well with Lex, either. But a drawn-out court battle would have too many adverse effects on her family, and it was something she was determined to avoid.

  "Damned jackass." Lex was on her way to the sleazy lawyer's office. The itemized bill Trumbull had presented Melvin with was outrageous. "Five dollars for a freakin' pen. Where the hell did he buy it? A government auction?" She was so angry over the news, she didn't see the body she slammed into until it was too late. Lex suddenly found herself sitting on the sidewalk.

  "Watch it!" Hubert rubbed his shoulder. He considered kicking his sister for the fun of it. But she got to her feet before he could move. "What the hell's your problem?"

  Lex dusted off her backside and readjusted her hat. "Besides you?" She looked around and saw several people watching them. "I'm almost glad I ran into you. We need to talk."

  Her words sounded foreboding, but he'd be damned if he let her know it rattled him. "Make an appointment. I don't have time to mess with you."

  "You'll make the time, brother." Lex leaned closer and lowered her voice. "Because you don't want to cross me right now."

  "I'm so scared." But he backed up a step. He was bigger than she was, but the glint in her eyes made him uncomfortable. "Is that a threat?"

  Lex's smile didn't reach her eyes. "Maybe. Where's your new office?" She knew as well as everyone else that his other place had been closed down shortly after he left for prison.

  He gestured behind her. "About a block that way." Hubert grabbed her arm. "Come on. We might as well get this over with. I have things to do, you know."