To Hold Forever

by Carrie Carr

  She picked up the phone and dialed the number on the notice. "Hello? I need to speak to someone about a letter I received. Thanks." While she was on hold, Lex opened another envelope. It was a past-due notice from the electric company, warning that the power would be shut off at Hubert's. "Sorry bastard. He must have skipped town." A confused voice brought her back to the call. She apologized to the woman and gave her the account number.

  "Yes, Ms. Walters. We show here you co-signed the loan for Hubert Walters."

  "When was I supposed to have done this?" Lex opened two more letters, both disconnect notices for the house in town. Somehow, all of Hubert's mail had been forwarded to the ranch. "Dammit!" At the huff of indignation on the other end of the line, she quickly apologized again.

  "As I was saying, since we are unable to reach Mr. Walters, the loan has defaulted to you. Either pay the amount due, or we'll take custody of the property in question."

  Lex closed her eyes and silently counted to ten. "Fine. Take the damned house. Anything else?"

  "No, ma'am. We'll send you a letter, stating we've begun foreclosure proceedings. Have a nice day."

  "Yeah." Lex slammed down the receiver and glared at the phone. "If I ever see Hubert again, I'll castrate the son of a bitch with a rusty spoon." She checked the rest of the bills, satisfied that there would be no more surprises.

  A rustling from the doorway caught Lex's attention. She looked up and noticed a tousled head peep over the top of the desk. All of her anger quickly deflated when she saw the innocent face of her daughter. "Hey, lil' bit. Have a good nap?" She'd left Lorrie on the couch, where she had nodded off while watching a favorite video.

  "Yep." Still about halfway asleep, Lorrie stumbled around the desk and crawled onto Lex's lap. "I'm thirsty."

  "Well then," Lex stood and settled her daughter against one hip, "let's go see what we can get into." She headed toward the kitchen, reminding herself to call Lois and see how Amanda was faring.

  Since Dr. Vaughn only allowed Amanda out of the hospital with the stipulation she would stay close by, they accepted the offer to stay with Michael and Lois. They took over the spare room, and the house being only one story meant Amanda didn't have to worry about stairs.

  Lex volunteered to take Lorrie for the day, since she had to handle a few things out at the ranch. She was almost to the kitchen when the flap to the pet door swung open, and an excited Freckles raced into the house. The radio collar allowed the dog to go in and out, but kept the door locked to keep Lorrie inside. They'd found out the hard way how easy it was for her to slip through.

  "Fleckles!" Lorrie slid out of Lex's arms and hugged her pet. "Eew. Momma, Fleckles smell yucky."

  "Now what?" Lex sniffed the air, then noticed several new dark spots on the terrier's white coat. "Someone must have been rolling in the stables again." She sighed when Lorrie began to wrestle the dog. "Great. Now both of you get a bath." She wondered if she could get away with bathing them both at the same time. A smirk crossed her lips. It probably wouldn't be wise, because if Amanda found out Lex would be the one in the doghouse. "Okay, kiddo. Let's get you and your buddy cleaned up, then we'll have a snack before we go see your mommy."

  SHORT, LOUD RAPS on the front door woke Amanda. She opened her eyes and looked around the unfamiliar surroundings before realizing where she was. The clean living room was warm, and she was hunkered on the sofa, tucked in one corner while her feet were stretched across the cushions. There was also a soft afghan across her legs that hadn't been there before. The knocking continued, so she struggled to her feet to answer the door.

  Amanda opened the door, wishing she hadn't. "Aunt Paula. What are you doing here?"

  "I've come to take care of something my sister obviously couldn't," the matron huffed. Paula was dressed in a form-fitting navy dress, similar to the one she wore to the funeral. Her purse hung from her arm, and she peered at her niece through black-framed glasses. "Well? Am I to stand here all day?"

  With an aggrieved sigh, Amanda held the door open and escorted Paula into the living room. She sat on the sofa and gestured to a nearby chair. "Forgive me for not playing hostess, but I'm supposed to stay off my feet."

  Paula lowered her bulk into a floral print wingback chair. "I can see. You know, your mother talked to me at length at what a disappointment you'd been to her."

  "What else is new?"

  "You've got a sharp tongue on you, girl. No wonder poor Elizabeth was at her wits end." Paula leaned forward to make her point. "Now listen to me. It's about time you quit behaving inappropriately and find yourself a nice man and settle down."

  "Aunt Paula--"

  "I realize it will be harder since you're in that condition. But you're young and reasonably attractive. Once you lose that weight, I'm sure you'll catch some young man's eye."

  Amanda balled her hands into fists and fought the urge to throw something into her aunt's smug face. "That's enough."

  But Paula was only getting started. "You can't possibly be happy, taking up with her. She murdered your own mother! You've betrayed the family and tarnished your mother's memory."

  "Excuse me?" As hard as it was, Amanda stayed seated. "You have no right to talk to me that way! I love Lex and she loves me. Nothing in my life concerns you, or your precious family."

  The front door opened and Lois stepped inside, her arms full of grocery bags. "Amanda? Is everything all right? I heard--" she stopped when she saw who else was sitting in her living room.

  A small blur raced by her. "Mommy!"

  Amanda opened her arms and greeted Lorrie. "Hello, honey."

  "I think this is all of them, Lois." Lex came inside, also loaded down with several bags. She almost ran into Lois, who was frozen in place.

  Paula turned in her seat to take in the newcomers. "Good afternoon, Lois." She pointedly ignored Lex.

  "What the hell is going on here?" Lex placed her bags on the floor and stepped farther into the room. "Amanda, are you okay?" She went to take her partner's outstretched hand.

  Tension weighed heavily in the room. Lois was torn between calling Michael at work or standing close by in case a referee was needed. She looked on helplessly until a subtle nod from Lex calmed her. "I think I'll get these groceries put away."

  Amanda kissed Lorrie on the head. "Why don't you go with Mimi? Maybe she'll give you milk and cookies."

  "Yep. Me help Mimi." Lorrie gave her mommy one last hug and hurried after Lois.

  Lex waited until Lorrie and Lois had left before she turned to Paula. "Is there some reason you're here?"

  "You're a nasty one, aren't you?" Paula sat taller in her seat. "Before you so rudely interrupted, I was having a private conversation with my niece. Now if you'll excuse us--"

  "Lady, there's no excuse for the likes of you."

  Paula pursed her lips, looking frighteningly like her sister. "You're as uncouth as Elizabeth described. But if you insist on butting in, fine. Amanda and I were discussing how it was time for her to straighten up and behave in a proper manner."

  "No, you were trying to tell me how to live my life," Amanda sputtered. She gasped as a sharp pain lanced through her stomach.

  Lex dropped to her knees beside her. "Sweetheart?" She began to panic when Amanda moaned and wrapped her arms around her belly. "The baby?"

  "Oh, God." Amanda bit her lip and leaned as far forward as she could. "I think we'd better call the doctor."

  "It's going to be okay." Lex got to her feet and yelled for Lois, who rushed into the room. "I'm going to take Amanda to the hospital. Could you--"

  Lois kept Lorrie by her side. "Don't you worry about about a thing." She put her hand on Lorrie's head. "Would you like to stay with me and make some more cookies?"

  Torn between her parents and the thought of fresh goodies, Lorrie stuck her finger in her mouth. "Momma?"

  "Oh for heaven's sake." Paula stood and fussed with her purse.

  "Not one word," Lex warned her. She squatted next to Lorrie. "I have to tak
e your Mommy to the doctor, lil' bit. Can you stay here with Mimi and be a good girl?"

  Lorrie gave her a bashful grin. "Yep. We makes cookies."

  "Great." Lex kissed her forehead and straightened up. She went to help Amanda to her feet. "Can you walk?"

  Amanda put her arm around Lex and leaned into her. "As long as you're here with me."

  Paula grabbed Amanda's arm. "You can't be seriously thinking of going with her?"

  "Let go of me."

  Lex wrapped her fingers around Paula's wrist and squeezed until she let go of Amanda. "Touch her again and I'll wring your damned neck."

  "You shouldn't be allowed behind the wheel. For all we know, you'll kill Amanda and the baby, too." Paula rubbed her sore wrist.

  Amanda turned on her. "Aunt Paula, go home. You're not wanted, or needed here." She allowed Lex to help her out of the house.

  "Why, the nerve!" Paula blinked in shock at her niece's words. She turned to Lois. "Can you believe that?"

  Lois gave her a smug look. "She's right. Why don't you slither under your rock, wherever it is? Our family is doing very well without you." She held the door open wide. "Goodbye."

  Paula puffed up and sniffed. "Fine. I have a plane to catch this evening anyway." She raised her head high as she crossed the threshold.

  Lois watched from the door as Lex and Amanda drove away. She felt a tiny hand tangle in her slacks. "Why don't we call your Gampi and see if he'd like some cookies, sweetie?"

  "Yum. Gampi likes cookies." Lorrie wrapped her hand around Lois' finger and tugged her in the direction of the kitchen.

  LEX SLAMMED THE heel of her hand on the middle of the steering wheel, blowing the horn. The old man on the tractor ignored her and continued to drive slowly in the middle of the street. "Would you get off the damned road? What the hell is he doing on a residential street, anyway?"

  "Honey, calm down. I'm fine." Amanda's own panic had lessened when she realized it was only labor pains she felt. She braced one hand on the roof of the Explorer as Lex whipped around the tractor.

  "Dumbass." Lex barely slowed at the stop sign before taking off again. She spared a glance at Amanda. "You okay?"

  Amanda nodded. "You don't have to hurry. We have plenty of time." She felt another strong contraction and then a warm wetness. "Oops. Um, Lex?"

  "Huh?" Lex stopped at a red light and turned her head toward Amanda. "What's the matter?"

  "I think my water broke."

  "Shit!" After a quick look both ways, Lex raced through the intersection. "Should we call the doctor again? Maybe I should have called an ambulance. Damn. I knew I should have--"

  "Honey, please. It's all right." Amanda inhaled sharply. "Ooh. That was a good one." She kept one hand on her stomach, as if to sooth her unborn child.

  "What?" Lex kept looking from the road, to Amanda, and back again. "Please don't have the baby yet. I haven't finished reading the book on delivery." She hit the horn again as she came upon another traffic light. "Come on, idiot! Move!"

  Amanda tried to keep from laughing. "Lex, it's a red light. People are supposed to stop."

  "Not today." Lex growled and stuck her head out the window. "Would you go already? The damned light's green!" she yelled, hitting the horn again. When the car ahead started to move, Lex swerved around it and sped through the intersection. "Ha!" She drove several blocks without any interference, and was feeling quite proud of herself.

  "Lex."

  No answer.

  "Honey?" Amanda still couldn't get her lover's attention. She was sure it would be something funny to tell their grandchildren, but right now, she was beginning to get a little irritated. "Lex!"

  "Hm?"

  "You missed the street." Amanda pointed to their right. "It was a block earlier."

  "Damn." Lex checked her mirrors, and seeing the coast clear, executed a perfect U-turn. "Why didn't you say something?"

  "I tried. You weren't listening." Amanda breathed a sigh of relief when the hospital came into view. She wasn't surprised when they ended up in the emergency entrance.

  Lex parked the Explorer and jumped out. With the engine still running, she hurried around to the passenger side and opened Amanda's door. "Oh, wait." She held up her hands and started walking backward. "Don't go anywhere. I'll be right back." Before Amanda could speak, she raced into the hospital. Seconds later, Lex came running out, pushing a wheelchair. "Here." She helped Amanda into the chair and started toward the hospital doors.

  A stern looking nurse met them at the door. "I told you I would have an orderly assist you," she chastised Lex. "You're not authorized to bring in a patient."

  "I didn't have time to wait. Can't you see that my wife is in labor?" Lex jumped away when she was slapped away from the chair by the nurse. "Hey."

  "Young lady, I'll take it from here. You have to move your car."

  Lex almost ran into the automatic door before it hissed completely open. "I'm not leaving her."

  Dr. Vaughn stood at the admitting desk, trying to keep from laughing. She'd already been at the hospital, checking on another patient, when Lex's frantic phone call had come in. "Lex, calm down. Amanda, how are you doing?"

  Amanda shook her head. "Better than she is, I think. My water broke about five minutes ago."

  "You are ready, aren't you?" The doctor patted Amanda's hand before looking at Lex again. "Lex, we're going to get Amanda settled first. Take care of what you need to, then Nurse Harvey will bring you in."

  "But--" Lex was loathe to leave Amanda's side.

  Amanda winced as another contraction hit. "I'll be fine." She held out her hand and brought Lex close, pulling her down for a quick kiss. "But I think our daughter is getting impatient. So hurry."

  "Okay." Lex kissed her again. "I love you."

  "Love you, too." Amanda waved to her as she was wheeled away.

  LEX HAD RETURNED from parking the SUV when she saw Dr. Vaughn hurrying toward her. "What's wrong? Is Amanda okay?"

  "We've got a slight change in plans. Amanda's fine, but she's being prepped for surgery." Dr. Vaughn had to grab one of Lex's arms to keep her steady. "We've already given her the epidural, but I don't trust her blood pressure, so we're going to do a cesarean. I thought you might want to come with me and get scrubbed up."

  "Uh, yeah. Right." The thought of being present while they cut into Amanda made Lex feel lightheaded. But she refused to give in to her fear. "Lead on, doc."

  After changing and being briefed on what to expect, Lex followed Dr. Vaughn into the operating room. She swallowed heavily and took her place next to Amanda's head. "Hi, sweetheart."

  Amanda rolled her eyes upward. "I'm glad to see you."

  "I wouldn't miss this for the world." Lex brushed her fingers across Amanda's forehead. "Looks like you're all set."

  "Yeah. The epidural they gave me has done wonders. You know, even though I didn't want to go this route, once those labor pains set in, I changed my mind."

  Lex was relieved as well. She hadn't been looking forward to seeing her lover in pain, no matter what the circumstances were. A quick glance down Amanda's body shifted her nerves into high gear. Sterile cloths were draped across her entire form, except for her stomach, which was now a lovely orange color. It was then that Lex realized she'd have a perfect view, and the thought caused black spots to float across her vision.

  Dr. Vaughn noticed her discomfort. "Lex? Are you going to be okay in here?"

  "Yep. Fine. No problem." Lex nodded nervously, much to the amusement of her wife.

  "Honey? Hey, it's not much different from seeing a calf born."

  Lex shook her head. "It's very different. You're no cow."

  The entire room broke into chuckles over that statement, and even Amanda giggled. "Well, thanks for that vote of confidence."

  Once everyone had settled down, the doctor made the initial incision. Lex kept her eyes on Amanda's face, gratified to see she was in no pain. "Doing okay?"

  "Yeah." She wrinkled her nose. "That's weird
."

  "What?"

  "I can feel it, sort of."

  The doctor overheard their conversation. "It's not painful, is it?"

  Amanda tilted her head slightly as she considered her answer. "No. More like it's disconnected. Like how it feels when someone touches the outside of your shoe. You know it's there, but you can't feel it."

  "Perfect." The doctor continued, speaking in low tones to her staff.

  Lex concentrated on her wife, whose eyes never left hers. "I love you, Amanda." She had no idea how much time had passed, but looked up in surprise when the doctor spoke out loud again.

  "Here she is, ladies." Dr. Vaughn brought their daughter out into the world. Small and red, her tiny face was scrunched in displeasure at her new surroundings. She kicked and opened her mouth, showing off her lungs with a loud squall.

  With her own head raised slightly by Lex, Amanda was able to see. "She's beautiful."

  Tears of joy spilled from Lex's eyes. She'd never seen such an amazing sight in her life. She watched as the nurse took their baby across the room to the warmer, then turned her attention to her wife. "You did good, Mommy."

  While the doctor began closing the incision, the nurse completed her tasks and brought the baby to the new parents. She offered her to Lex, who accepted the precious bundle with awe.

  Lex held their daughter close to Amanda's head, the baby still crying loudly. "I don't think she's very pleased with us right now."

  The nurse watched the new family bond. No matter how many births she witnessed, it never ceased to put a smile on her face. "Have you decided on a name?"

  Amanda looked at her daughter, then met her wife's eyes. "Melanie." She didn't miss the joyful look that crossed Lex's face, even with the mask she wore. Naming the baby after Lex's grandmother was something she had hoped to do. "Right?"