Summer Season on the Seafront

by Katie Ginger

  ‘I thought maybe we could have a drink together. I’ve been doing some window washing with a friend and I’ve got some money. Not much, but it’s a start. And I’ve found a decent houseshare to move to as well.’ The lost puppy look in his eyes pierced but she just wasn’t ready to sit down in a public place with him and have a heart-to-heart. Suddenly Ben’s eyes dropped to his pint as someone Sarah didn’t know approached.

  ‘Ben? Ben Powell? I haven’t seen you in years, mate. How’ve you been?’ The guy was tall and dressed casually in jeans and a bright white shirt. ‘It’s Dennis, I used to live down the street from you and your Mrs.’ He held out his hand for Ben to shake and he reluctantly took it.

  ‘Nice to see you again,’ Ben replied.

  ‘I was sorry to see your old lady go. Tragic.’ Sarah’s eyes shot to her dad’s face. His eyes had dipped in shame, but the idiot man kept talking. ‘I heard you was working away just before she went. That’s tough. Can I buy you a drink?’

  ‘Umm, no, thank you. I’m good.’ Ben showed his still half-full glass. ‘I’m just having a drink with my daughter. Do you remember Sarah?’

  ‘Yeah course.’ He turned to Sarah and gave her a smile that made her skin crawl. ‘I heard you singing earlier. Lovely. Lovely.’

  ‘Thanks,’ she replied curtly, wishing he’d leave.

  ‘So are you re-married now or something?’ he said to Ben.

  ‘No. No I’m not.’ The idea of it turned Sarah’s stomach and surprisingly, Ben’s bright blue eyes had hardened on Dennis.

  ‘What you up to then? You still an accountant?’ Dennis swigged his pint with his mouth wide open and Sarah could see the fillings in his top teeth. He eyed Ben’s worn clothes.

  ‘I’m umm …’ Ben faltered and Sarah wondered what he’d say. Would he admit he was reduced to window washing with a friend? Like a shaft of light piercing the darkness of her feelings Sarah felt her dad’s shame and wanted to stand up for him.

  Under Dennis’ smug gaze, Sarah heard herself say, ‘Dad’s still working away at the moment, aren’t you, Dad?’

  ‘Umm … yeah.’

  ‘Oh, great,’ Dennis replied and Sarah swore the dirty old perv brushed her back on purpose. She had to give Ben credit for what he was doing now. He hadn’t been out long, he’d never work as an accountant again, but he was still trying to earn money. Before Dennis could ask anything else, Sarah said, ‘Shall we sit down, Dad?’ It was going to be hard for her dad to get his life back on track, especially with people he used to know asking what he was up to and judging him.

  They found a table in the corner, Gregory and Mrs Andrews craning their necks as they went by. When they were alone, Sarah, still holding her card, said, ‘Dad, you can’t keep just turning up like this.’

  ‘But you’re my daughter. I just want to see you.’

  ‘How did you know where I’d be anyway?’

  He faltered and pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. ‘Your bookmark was the invitation. When I knocked your copy of The Tempest over, I saw it. I hoped I’d get to see you this morning, but you weren’t there.’ She’d been at Finn’s till the early afternoon.

  Sarah felt a sudden surge of anger. He’d been snooping and it felt like a complete invasion of her privacy. ‘I can’t believe you’d go nosing around my stuff.’

  Ben looked surprised. ‘I wasn’t nosing. I just saw it on the floor, that’s all. Then when I popped round today and didn’t see you, I thought—’

  ‘You thought you could just come here and pull me away from my friends, from my party, to make things up to me?’ Again a hot anger raged inside her. He couldn’t just keep showing up in her life when he wanted to. After all she’d been through, she deserved for things to be on her terms and when she was ready. She’d been hurt so much he had to respect that, but clearly he was still only thinking of himself. ‘There is no making things up to me, Dad. What’s done is done, you can’t undo it all and stop Mum from dying, or magic it so you didn’t disappear and leave us to deal with everything on our own, or the—’ She still couldn’t bring herself to mention the affair to him as bile rose in her throat. She didn’t want to hear his excuses or relive that pain. ‘If you want to see me, call me and ask. Actually, don’t bother calling me at all. If I want to see you, I’ll call you.’ She stood up, leaving the card on the table, and marched outside into the fresh air, letting the door bang behind her.

  The sea air filled her lungs as she stomped down to the beach, hiding under the tall legs of the pier. The tide was out and Sarah backed onto the sea-worn pillar, gazing out over the calm water, the tide gently retreating leaving a wiggly line of froth on the pebbles. Behind her back, her hands traced the rough surface of barnacle shells. It was dark now and eerily quiet when the sound of shingle scrunched underfoot reached her. She turned to see Nate striding down the beach. A bright full moon lit his way. The breeze had picked up, gently lifting his hair, his brow furrowed in concern. He didn’t approach straight away but once he had spied her, he paused at the water’s edge, picked up a stone and skimmed it over the sea. It bounced a couple of times before plopping into the depths. Taking a few steps towards her, his deep voice echoed in the night as he asked, ‘Are you okay?’

  Sarah wanted to answer that she was fine, but it would have been a lie and she didn’t want to lie to Nate. The rush of anger was fading, leaving guilt and regret in its wake. She’d pushed her dad away again. How much longer would he continue to make the effort if that was all he got in return? He shouldn’t have just turned up, but what else could he do when she refused to let him break down her walls? If he hadn’t bothered at all she’d have hated him even more. Realising she couldn’t open her mouth without crying, she shook her head and sucked in a big breath. Suddenly Nate was at her side and turning her body to face him.

  ‘It’ll be okay,’ he said gently. ‘Just give it time. You said it to me and it’s true. Just let things calm down.’

  She lifted her head to see his angular features. He was studying her, memorising her face and she couldn’t have felt more exposed if she’d been standing there naked. He gently brushed her chin, cupping it lightly in his fingertips and Sarah’s heart beat with such a strange intensity she thought she might be dying. The moment didn’t seem real and at his touch it was like a part of her soul melted onto his skin. He tilted her head up, his lips found hers and she kissed him back.

  A tremor that began in her lips crept through every nerve ending in her body, lifting her arms so they were around his neck. Her hand was in his hair and her soul was illuminated like a bright shining star. A flash of light drew their attention and they looked up to see someone running away. It was probably just a teenager being stupid, but the moment was over and they separated. Where her hand rested gently on his chest she could feel the quick beat of his heart.

  ‘Sorry,’ Nate mumbled. ‘I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry.’ Sarah wanted to say it was fine. More than fine. It had been the most amazing kiss she’d ever had, something more than just physical, but remembering Finn, shame-faced she cast her eyes down. Not only that, Nate was married. Even if that marriage was a sham, she should have left well alone.

  Sarah’s voice quivered as she pushed the words out, her heart hurting that she already regretted it. ‘We’d better get back to the party.’

  Nate’s eyes were imploring and the way his heart had beat beneath her hand told her he felt something too. Sarah turned away and led the way back up the beach, walking quickly back to the party while Nate followed behind. Neither of them spoke. Though neither she nor Finn had officially called the other girlfriend or boyfriend, this wasn’t school. You didn’t send a note with a tick box. You had to wait for things to develop on their own and they were developing. But she’d just cheated on him. And now she was risking everything, making a mess of her life.

  Gregory and Cecil were outside the pub waiting for them when they returned, sly smiles on their faces. But when Sarah glanced over her shoulder, she saw
that Nate hadn’t followed her back inside. He faintly asked Gregory and Cecil for the keys and strode away, back to their cottage. And with his return to London, out of her life forever.

  Chapter 18

  The next morning Sarah brought supplies for Sid and Lottie to the regular Sunday morning rehearsal. Only this was special, the first dress rehearsal. Dress rehearsals normally filled her with excitement but today she felt drained and grey. She had a feeling there would be a few sore heads after last night’s fun. Her own was absolutely fine. Seeing her dad, then the kiss with Nate, had ensured it. Shortly after Nate left, she made her own apologies, claiming a migraine, and headed home. Lottie, she was sure, wouldn’t have noticed, she was too busy singing ‘Dancing Queen’ at a volume that could be heard several towns away. The entire pub could have upped and left and she wouldn’t have noticed, she was enjoying herself so much.

  All Sarah needed this morning was coffee. She’d been awake until the small hours when the sun began to rise and the birds started their short, tentative chirps, thinking about Nate. He was heading back to London today and she’d never see him again. Occasionally her mind had strayed to her dad and she’d pick up her phone, thinking of texting him. But what could she say? Coming up blank she hid it under her pillow, rolled over and tried once more to sleep. Among all of this, Finn’s sweet, kind face filled her with a disgrace that pounded her head and battered her heart.

  She’d fallen asleep as the sun began to stream through the window, waking with just enough time to dress and gather supplies for the players. The only good thing with falling asleep when she did was that she could put off speaking to Finn for a little bit longer. It was cowardly, but until she’d figured out what to say, she just wanted to hide. Deep down she knew what she had to do but was reluctant to admit it. Not until she had Lottie’s second opinion.

  On the drive in this morning, the glorious sunshine and light breeze refreshed her skin, blowing the fog from her mind, but her eyes continued to burn with a hot grittiness. Using the spare set of theatre keys, she unlocked the revolving doors and went inside, turning on the lights as she went. A few minutes later, Lottie and Sid arrived looking the worst she had ever seen them. Lottie’s voice had gone completely and from the way she was screwing up her face, daylight was proving painful. Sid’s voice was barely audible, just a strained gravelly whisper punctuated by his occasional squeaks. Sarah put on her best smile and teasingly asked, ‘Bit hungover, are we?’

  ‘I don’t think I’ve ever felt so rough,’ replied Sid. Lottie nodded her agreement then immediately regretted it as her hand flew to her head.

  Sarah laughed. ‘Then you’d better drink this and take these.’ She showed them the coffees and chocolate chip muffins she had brought, then pulled three bottles of water and some painkillers from her bag. Sid and Lottie grunted their thanks.

  As the other players arrived including a rather subdued Debbie, a green-looking Conner and a strangely okay Mrs Andrews, the theatre came to life. Every time the door squeaked Sarah’s head would lift involuntarily as she checked to see if it was Nate, or at the very least, Gregory and Cecil with news of him.

  ‘How is Mrs Andrews okay?’ asked Sid, taking a huge bite of his muffin. ‘Even those hips were loosening up towards the end, and she actually smiled once or twice. She must have been off her face.’ Mrs Andrews was shouting now into her phone, chastising someone, her face perfectly made up, without a hint of a dark circle in sight.

  ‘I think she has a picture in an attic somewhere, like Dorian Gray,’ said Sarah. Lottie managed a pathetic smile and Sarah gave her a cuddle, pushing down her disappointment that she wouldn’t be able to speak to her about Finn. She needed her best friend’s advice but right now all Lottie seemed capable of was vowing to never drink again. ‘If I were you, I’d find a quiet corner and try and have a nap.’ Lottie nodded and, hugging her coffee, shuffled off to find a quiet spot.

  Before she’d made it very far down the aisle, Sean and Leonard came onto the stage and began hammering some bits of scenery into place. Lottie covered her ears and made a dash for the furthest, darkest corner while Debbie tried to stop them. ‘Och, for the love of all things holy, will you please stop that. There must be something else you can be doing today?’

  Smiling, Sarah turned to them. ‘Guys, could you do some painting rather than the hammering? And how are you two not hungover as well? I saw you doing tequila slammers and Jaeger bombs with a bunch of 20-year-olds. Naughty boys.’

  They gave wolfish grins. ‘Always drink a pint of water before you go out and one before you go to bed,’ said Sean.

  ‘And have a big pasta dinner,’ added Leonard before they disappeared into the wings, taking their hammers and nails with them.

  The revolving door spun again and Gregory and Cecil came in, virtually running down to Sarah. They were waving something in the air and their eyes were wide with what Sarah could only describe as panic. ‘Sarah, darling, have you seen?’ shouted Gregory.

  ‘You must have seen,’ Cecil said, wiggling his hips like a speed walker. ‘She must have seen, Gregory. How could she not have seen?’

  ‘Because she doesn’t read the papers, remember? And look at her, cool as a cucumber, she can’t possibly have seen.’

  Unable to get a word in, Sarah folded her arms over her chest, just as they reached the bottom of the aisle. ‘What on earth are you two going on about?’

  Cecil gasped and grabbed Gregory’s arm. ‘She hasn’t seen. Gregory, she hasn’t seen.’

  ‘I know, dear.’ He turned to Sarah. ‘Sarah, darling, come here.’ Gregory led them to one of the front-row seats and settled down to regain his breath. Sarah did as she was told and the rest of the players gathered too for good measure. It had been his phone he was waving in the air and Gregory showed them the front page of one of the tabloids. Sarah’s heart somersaulted before shooting up into her throat and then settling at the bottom of her stomach. A large headline read, ‘Lothario Nate Hardy at it again with mystery brunette’, and underneath was a grainy picture of her and Nate kissing under the pier.

  ‘Oh no.’ Sarah pressed her hands against her forehead. The flash must have been someone snapping a picture of them and whoever had done it hadn’t wasted any time selling it on. ‘Oh, God. Does Nate know?’ Gregory gave a slow shake of the head.

  ‘I don’t think so. He left early this morning. We saw him off from the station at half past seven. We only saw this after. I didn’t have the heart to ring him yet.’

  ‘Oh fuck.’ Dropping her head into her hands she muttered, ‘Oh, fuck,’ again.

  ‘You’ve already said that,’ said Sid, helpfully. Sarah gave him a sharp stare. Lottie, who had come back when Gregory and Cecil arrived, slowly read the headline, her brain clearly trudging through the words. Then she turned to Sarah and squeaked.

  ‘You kissed Nate Hardy last night?’

  A rush of heat filled Sarah’s cheeks running up from her neck as the players stared at her, some amused, some impressed, and Mrs Andrews scowling like it should have been her. Which was preposterous because she was evil. ‘Only once,’ Sarah clarified. ‘And it was over very quickly.’ But boy, what a kiss it had been. Just the thought of it sent a bolt of lightning through her body, making her head spin, and there again was that strange sensation that her reaction hadn’t been purely physical but something deeper. As her eyes settled on Gregory’s phone, the screen black now, her reflection stared back at her. What was going to happen now? And what about Finn?

  ‘You kissed Nate Hardy last night?’ repeated Kathryn, jiggling on the spot. She’d missed the party as her teenage daughter had a stomach bug.

  Gregory sighed dramatically. ‘This might just be the end of his career, at the very least for the next few years.’

  ‘Really?’ asked Sid, surprised. ‘Loads of celebs do this sort of thing though.’

  ‘Yes, but it’s his reputation isn’t it? No one’s going to want to watch a love rat playing a hero. And it doesn’t matt
er how good he is, people don’t watch things with actors they don’t like. And the papers are saying he cheated on his wife with this model, then skulked off to another mistress during the media frenzy. They’ll eat him alive when they find him.’

  ‘What can we do?’ asked Sarah.

  ‘Nothing, my love.’ Gregory placed a hand gently on her shoulder. ‘It’s unfortunate, but he’s just going to have to ride it out and try to rebuild his career afterwards.’

  ‘And his life,’ added Cecil.

  ‘But that’s so unfair. Okay so he made a mistake with the model but—’

  ‘He cheated on his wife, Sarah,’ said Sid, gently.

  ‘But …’ Sarah fell silent. She couldn’t break Nate’s confidence, but she didn’t want everyone to think he was such a shit. He was a good man. ‘Like he said, it’s complicated.’

  After a pause Gregory said, ‘Ah, I see you know the truth too.’ Sarah nodded.

  ‘What truth?’ asked Sid. Cecil, Gregory, and Sarah all looked at each other. ‘Oh, come on, you can’t keep us out. Haven’t we kept his being here a secret like you asked? None of us gave him away, surely you can trust us with whatever this secret is.’ Again, all three stared at the others before Sarah spoke.

  ‘His marriage was already over way before he slept with that model. He said it had been for months and months. She even cheated on him first.’

  ‘Och, I’ve heard men say that before,’ answered Debbie, folding her arms over her chest.

  ‘You?’ asked Mrs Andrews, attempting to frown.

  ‘Aye. I’ve had my fair share of romance afore.’ The idea of mad Debbie having any sort of love life was both intriguing and frightening but Sarah decided not to press for details.

  ‘Honestly, Debbie,’ Sarah said.

  ‘It is true,’ said Cecil. Debbie harrumphed.

  ‘He said they were planning on announcing their divorce, they were just waiting a few more weeks.’