by Katie Ginger
Robin’s voice burst into his head shouting, ‘What about America?’ He’d be there for months. Maybe longer. And it was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that could sky-rocket his career to a new level. The career he’d worked so hard to build, had nearly lost and only just recovered. Thanks to Sarah, a voice murmured. Nate scratched the back of his head, lifting his eyes to the ceiling and hoping for an answer. When none came he slumped down on the edge of the bed. Why did his life have to be so bloody complicated? The thought of him and Sarah together filled his heart with a love so intense he couldn’t believe it was real. Surely love was the only thing that mattered. Real, true love didn’t come along very often. Of all the opportunities he’d had in his life this was the one he couldn’t miss.
Sod it all. Sod America. Nate raised his eyes again and laughed to himself as a weight lifted from his mind. He had to tell her how he felt. Even if Sarah was seeing someone else and rejected him, at least he would have tried. But if she said yes, well … he’d do whatever it took. He’d move to Greenley and become an acting teacher, a dustman – anything, anything at all to be with Sarah. Nate took his phone from the bedside cabinet to call Sarah, but paused. This wasn’t something he could say over the phone. He wanted to tell her face to face. To look into her eyes and see her smile. And afterwards, he’d cup her face and kiss her, feeling her soft smooth skin again.
But he couldn’t leave now. Too many whiskies meant he couldn’t drive and the trains wouldn’t get there till the early hours. He couldn’t rock up in the middle of the night at Sarah’s, it would ruin the moment, and he didn’t actually know where she lived. And he’d inconvenienced Gregory and Cecil enough. Plus he owed it to Robin, after everything he’d done, to speak to him face to face and explain. Robin and Anna had been married for forty years, he’d understand. Tomorrow morning he’d put everything on hold and head down to Greenley.
The night was long and restless, bereft of sleep. Nate tossed and turned in bed, the sheets wrapping around his legs so he had to fight to get out. He climbed out of bed just as dawn broke and a pale lemon sky lit the world. Once dressed, Nate drew back the curtains. It was too early to call Robin, barely five o’clock in fact, so Nate headed to the kitchen for a coffee. He should have felt tired and cranky but a strange elation had taken over his body, like a kid on Christmas morning. Too excited to remain in the house he went for a run to burn off some energy. At nine, Nate couldn’t hold back any longer and called.
Unfortunately, Robin didn’t understand as well as Nate had hoped he would and went absolutely mental, insisting on coming round there straight away to talk some sense into him. Nate knew it didn’t make sense as far as his career was concerned. It didn’t make sense at all. But it was the right decision for his heart and soul. Nothing had ever felt so right to him before.
Half an hour later, the doorbell rang and through the spy hole Nate saw Robin’s frowning face. As he opened the door, Robin, with unusual stealth, flew in, waving his arms around as he spoke. ‘What the bloody hell do you think you’re doing? Have you gone absolutely fucking mental?’ Nate had expected a level of shock and surprise, but was taken aback by just how furious Robin was. ‘After everything I’ve done for you, clearing up the mess you got yourself into, you’re going to turn down the best opportunity of your life for some bit of stuff you’ve known for a month?’
Having grown used to Robin’s flashes of bad temper over the years Nate knew he’d calm down after he’d said, or rather shouted, all the things he’d thought of on the way over. Remaining calm, Nate replied, ‘I’m not turning it down, Robin, I just want to have a couple more days to sort something out.’
‘What? What do you need to sort out? What the fuck could be so important? She’ll still be here when you get back.’ Sweat dropped from his forehead as he spun around to face Nate. It was warm today but this early in the morning it wasn’t so warm Robin should be that red, hot and sweaty.
‘Robin, calm down. Just chill out for a second, okay? Like I said on the phone, I need to head down to Greenley to speak to Sarah and tell her—’ Robin scoffed. ‘Robin, just calm down. I think you’re over-reacting a bit.’
‘Over-reacting? Over-fucking-reacting? You want me to ask some of the US’s top producers to postpone a meeting so you can nip down to Greenley-On-Sea and chat up a girl?’
Nate frowned but not at Robin’s words, though his flippancy was beginning to grate. His eyes were wide and white, and sweat gathered in the deep wrinkles of his forehead. ‘Robin, are you okay? I think you should sit down, I’ll get you a glass of water.’
‘I don’t need to sit down. I need you tell me why the hell you’re doing this?’ Robin rammed his hand into his pocket trying to find a handkerchief. Nate led the way into the kitchen. He was getting that glass of water whether Robin wanted it or not.
‘Here, drink this first.’ Nate handed Robin the glass of water and he begrudgingly took it, drinking half in one go. He was still very red and a little unsteady on his feet, swaying as he tipped his head back to drink. Finally he sat down. ‘Listen, Robin, you know how grateful I am for everything you’ve done but I’m only asking for a couple of days. I need to find Sarah. And I need to tell her that I love her.’
Robin gazed up but didn’t speak. Then, unexpectedly, an amused squeak escaped from his mouth before a full-on belly laugh came out. It faded as his face grew stern and angry once more. ‘You’re putting your entire career on hold – a career that has only just crawled out of the toilet – for some silly tart from Greenley-On-Fucking-Sea?’
Okay, that was a step too far. ‘Robin, hang on. I know you might be a bit … disappointed that I’m not doing this after I’ve been to America, but you have to understand that this is spec—’
‘I don’t have to understand anything. After everything I’ve done for you, you’re not throwing it away now. Do you realise how lucky you are?’
‘Yes I do!’ Nate shouted. ‘Just not in the way you think. I know I’m lucky that things are picking up again work-wise, but I’m even luckier because I think I might have found someone special. Someone who loves me – the real me. Surely, after all your years with Anna you can understand that? I don’t see why we can’t just say I’ve sprained an ankle or something.’ His tone was imploring, but Robin’s face remained fierce.
‘Because then you’d be the next box office action hero with weak ankles! The flights are booked, the time and date’s been set for the meeting. They’ve even asked me what sort of cookies you like!’
‘I’m sorry Robin, but my mind’s made up. This has to come first.’
Robin’s shoulders stiffened. ‘If you go, I can’t guarantee that I’ll be your agent when you get back.’
‘What? Seriously?’ A heaviness fell on Nate’s chest. How could Robin force him to make such a choice.
Robin didn’t answer, just nodded. Exasperated, and feeling like he’d been blindsided, Nate couldn’t think what to say. Robin’s breathing had calmed and his face was slowly returning to a normal colour, but his mouth was set in a grim line and the skin around his eyes was pinched. For a millisecond Nate questioned himself, but all it did was reinforce that he was making the right decision.
‘I’m sorry, Robin, but I have to do this first.’
Robin stood up, sending his chair flying backwards. Without speaking he went to the hall and slammed the front door shut behind him. Nate bent and picked up the chair then flopped down on one of the stools himself and pushed the heel of his hand into his forehead. A sharp pain stabbed just above his right eye and a stress headache pounded his skull. So that was it. He’d made his choice. And yet, though he was sad it had to end this way, he was still sure he was doing the right thing.
Once he’d calmed and his legs had stopped shaking Nate went to pack. This time he could pack properly. Gregory and Cecil had let him use the washing machine, but living in the same three pairs of jeans, pants and T-shirts had involved a lot of laundry. Almost an hour and a half later he was just grab
bing the things he needed from the bathroom when the doorbell rang. Nate hoped it was Robin. Maybe now he’d had a chance to take his blood pressure tablets and chill out he’d see it wasn’t really that big a deal, and if the Americans weren’t happy with a few days’ delay then so be it.
Stepping off the final stair he went to the spy hole and looked through. Pulling back in confusion, he unlatched the door. ‘Anna, is everything all right? Is Robin okay?’
The petite woman smiled and pushed a strand of silky-grey hair that had escaped from its bun out of her face. ‘Robin’s fine. I wanted to talk to you about him, actually.’ Her voice had always reminded Nate of a yoga instructor, soft and gentle, and she emanated an endless patience and serenity. Nate closed the door behind her and gestured towards the kitchen.
‘Would you like a coffee?’
‘Yes, please. That’d be nice.’ She was wearing jeans and a large, baggy striped shirt that could have been one of Robin’s. It swamped her tiny frame, but she wore it well, making it look stylish, and her tiny feet were encased in flat ballet pumps.
Nate put the kettle on and found the cafetière, measuring in the ground coffee. The rich, deep smell filled the kitchen making him feel instantly calmer, as Anna hopped onto the stool with an easy, pleasant smile that Nate found slightly unnerving. He’d never seen her on her own. It was always with Robin at some event or other and occasionally at their house when he’d been over for dinner. Finding some milk and the sugar bowl, he put two mugs in front of them and sat opposite her at the island unit in the middle of the vast kitchen. Trying to keep his voice level he said, ‘So what’s up?’
‘Robin told me what had happened between you.’
‘Right.’
‘Robin’s a good agent, but he’s a complete idiot sometimes.’ Nate paused, pouring the hot water onto the coffee. Steam rose in the air between them but through it he could see Anna’s gentle smile. ‘I’m not sure we’d have ever got married if I hadn’t asked him.’
‘You asked him?’ asked Nate in surprise. He pushed the plunger on the coffee and poured some into Anna’s cup, then his own. ‘Robin’s always had it the other way round. A romantic dinner for two—’
‘Which I booked.’
‘A ring you’d hinted at?’
‘Which I bought.’ She added a splash of milk and a sugar cube as the gentle smile became a wide grin and a distant look glazed her eye. But then she looked at Nate and the mist cleared. ‘You have to understand, Robin’s brain can only focus on one thing at a time, either work or play. Not both. But he cares about you, Nate. He cares very deeply.’
Nate felt a heat rise up from his chest. ‘Then why did he threaten to quit working with me?’
‘Because he’s a stubborn old fool who needs to take his blood pressure tablets and calm down a bit.’ At this Nate smiled. ‘After he left you, he really was feeling quite unwell so he came home.’ She must have seen the concern on Nate’s face as she waved her hand dismissively. ‘Don’t worry, he’s okay. I called our doctor and he’s going for a check-up tomorrow. He’ll get a telling-off for drinking too much and not losing any weight yet, but he’s fine.’ Her features tightened a little and Nate could see she’d been worried, more worried than her voice implied. ‘But the reason I’m here is to say that Robin won’t be dropping you.’ Nate stared wide-eyed and she reached out gently resting her small hand on his larger one. ‘I want you to go to Greenley and see this lady of yours, see how it works out. Robin will call the States and let them know there’s been an unexpected delay. We can say I’m ill, I don’t mind.’
Coffee almost spilled from his cup where he was tipping it in surprise. ‘Anna …’ He shook his head, speechless.
‘When Robin’s calmed down he’ll realise that there’s more to life. His doctor will remind him of that tomorrow too. Sometimes he just gets so caught up with work he forgets it’s not the most important thing in the world. Love is. And if you think you’ve found someone special, just like I did with Robin, then you have to do everything you can to make it happen.’
‘Anna, I don’t know what to say.’ Nate’s throat tightened and he pushed down the lump of emotion. ‘You know how much I respect Robin. He’s been like a second father to me for a long time.’
Her kindly smile was as warm as an embrace. ‘I know. And he’ll remember that too. Go to Greenley. Be happy.’ She finished her coffee and stood to leave, carefully tucking in her chair. Nate did the same and as he accompanied her to the door, he couldn’t help but hug her.
‘Thank you.’
Once she’d gone, a grin tugged at his face and Nate ran upstairs to finish packing. Checking his watch he saw that it was almost lunchtime. How could it be lunchtime already? Only two minutes ago it had been barely dawn. Time to get down to Greenley.
Should he take flowers? he wondered. No, that would be cheesy and they’d probably wilt on the train. Tomorrow he and Sarah could go to the florist and he’d buy her some flowers. The biggest bunch imaginable. He smiled at the thought as he closed the front door behind him and made his way to the tube station.
A few people took surreptitious snaps of him on the tube, but he pretended not to notice. It didn’t matter anyway, his heart and his mind were so full of thoughts of Sarah, of what he’d say to her, of how he’d hold her and kiss her the way they’d kissed on the beach that night, that nothing could bother him. Racing up the escalator steps he hurried through St Pancras to the ticket booth. How could there be a queue at this time of day? Impatiently he tapped his foot, slowly edging forwards until he’d bought his ticket. Then he sped past the cafés and bars and through the barriers just as the train pulled away.
Inwardly cursing and embarrassed under the watchful eye of the staff, he made his way to a bench and checked the departures board. Half an hour till the next train. Half an hour of hell. Giving himself a mental shake, he determined to not be so dramatic. It was only half an hour then he’d be on his way to Greenley. Just the thought of going back to that wonderful little place calmed him down. He looked forward to seeing Gregory and Cecil again. He hoped to see Sarah before tonight’s performance started but now he’d be cutting it fine. It was just gone three-thirty so it would be around five by the time he got the next train there.
Finally the train arrived. It was busy but by walking to the furthest carriage he was able to grab a table. After stowing his bag and collapsing back into his chair he realised he was thirsty. The day had been so fraught he hadn’t thought to eat or drink much and his appetite had been swallowed by adrenaline. The train rattled down the tracks for almost half an hour when a text message appeared on his phone. It was Robin with two small words that meant the absolute world. ‘Good luck.’ A smile spread across Nate’s face and he relaxed, closing his eyes and savouring the moment of relief. A few seconds later another text popped up from Robin.
Emma’s lost the presenting job. Some wife contacted Daddy accusing Emma of sleeping with her husband. Emma’s in the dog house and been told to stay out of the limelight! Karma.
Maybe the wife had followed Hannah’s example, maybe Marcus had something to do with it. He could guess whose wife it was. Those odd emails and questions from Marcus suddenly made sense. Marcus could never stand an injustice. All the time Nate had thought it was just a bad attempt to make him feel better. Now he smiled at the thought of his friend’s loyalty. With Gregory and Cecil, and the Greenley Players, perhaps he wasn’t as alone as he’d thought. The unhappy ex would get paid off, of course, but if Emma had lost the job then rumours couldn’t be far behind. It goes to show that what goes around comes around. Nate went back to enjoying the journey, watching fields and grazing animals shoot by.
Then the worst happened. Halfway through the journey, the train stopped and a signal failure had him stuck in the middle of nowhere for almost an hour. He thought about getting out at the next station and taking a cab the rest of the way, but he really had no idea which would be quicker and the small village they’d stopped at didn’t
seem to be busy enough to have a taxi rank outside it. All he could do was sit and wait.
When the train finally pulled into Greenley at six o’clock, Nate ran from the platform, out of the station and grabbed a taxi. ‘Greenley theatre, please.’ This time he was able to see the streets of Greenley in the evening sunshine. Watching the strange mix of modern and period houses, tree-lined streets, and beautiful seafront, he relaxed his shoulders. The sun was dipping behind the pier and a golden glow spread out into the surrounding cloud backlighting them, casting shadows on the water. The tide was high, gently soaking the bottom deck of the pier and all the fishermen had made their way to the top. The taxi stopped outside the majestic theatre and Nate handed over a ten-pound note, wishing the driver a good evening.
For a moment, he paused outside the beautiful Victorian building. The poster cases had been filled with large posters of the players dressed in costume. Sarah’s pretty face stared out at him, as did Gregory, and he smiled. Nate felt like he’d come home. It was almost six-thirty. The theatre doors weren’t open to the public yet and Nate began to panic. He hadn’t thought much beyond getting here or what he’d say in the pivotal moment he saw her again. He didn’t want Sarah to see him now for only half an hour, and for them then to have to part while she went on stage. No, call it melodramatic, but when he saw Sarah he wanted them to have time to talk and just be together. He still had to find somewhere to stay tonight, so picking up his bag he strolled along the seafront taking big deep breaths, stopping at the bed and breakfast he’d spied on the taxi ride over. Once he’d settled in he’d come back for the performance.