Ms. Bitch: Finding happiness is the best revenge.

by Tricia O'Malley

  Tess wished she could be so black and white, like men seemed to be, she mused later that day as they floated in the pool, soaking off the last of their hangovers before they had to get ready for the concert later that night.

  “It must be nice to shrug things off,” Tess said, and Owen looked at her from behind his shaded glasses.

  “How so?”

  “Like, as a dude. You can compartmentalize things much more than women can.”

  “Guys are like that,” Cate said from her lounge chair next to the pool. “It’s like if they are playing video games, that’s all they think about. Having sex – they are only focused on that. Cooking dinner, it’s cooking time. While I’m cooking dinner while thinking about sex and also wondering how to level up in the next video game.”

  “It’s true. We do have a remarkable ability to compartmentalize,” Owen agreed. “Keeps our lives easy. Until women come in and complicate them.”

  “You’ve kept yourself pretty free of complications,” Tess teased.

  “And for good reason. I’m not meant for long-term relationships. I don’t believe in them and I’ve rarely seen them work out. Almost everyone I’ve ever known has broken up or divorced. Honestly, the odds aren’t in your favor.” He’d obviously come to terms with his views on relationships a long time ago.

  “Don’t you think that’s a bit sad, though? To think you’ll never have a life partner?” Tess asked.

  “How’s that life partner thing working out for you?” Owen asked, but stroked a hand down her arm to let her know he was teasing.

  “Touché.”

  “It keeps my life easier. Granted, I get women who think they’ll change my views, and then things get complicated because inevitably I hurt their feelings even when I’ve been expressly clear from the beginning about what I want and who I am. It never fails though – women always think they’ll change me.”

  “You’re safe with me.” Tess smiled, reaching out to pinch Owen’s cheek. “While I find you delightful, you’re not my future. You’re much too cynical.”

  “Careful, Tess, I might actually fall for you with those sweet words.” Owen chuckled, but Tess felt a knot inside her ease. This really could be the perfect hookup weekend for her. They would walk away friends, go back to their lives, and move forward – no harm, no foul. As rebound flings went, Tess mentally gave herself a round of applause.

  “Guys, I hate to break up this sweet moment where you both agree you’re only each other’s booty calls,” Cate said, “but we have a concert to get to. Let’s roll.”

  The concert was exactly what it needed to be. Guns N’ Roses made no apologies for embracing what they were – a loud eighties rock band with one of the best guitar players around.

  “Slash,” Tess sighed, as they laughed their way down the street, arguing over which song had been their favorite. The band had pulled out all the stops, from crazy video graphics to fireworks, and… Slash.

  “His leather pants,” Cate sighed, fanning herself.

  “You girls are ridiculous,” Owen grumbled.

  “Shut up, my teenage hormones have come alive once again,” Tess declared, laughing. “Just imagine how well he’d play a woman’s body.”

  “Yum,” Cate said.

  They found a hole-in-the-wall bar, deciding to hang out there and avoid the worst of the crowds that pulsed from the stadium, gleefully singing along to Guns N’ Roses songs with others who had just seen the show of their lifetime. Trays of shots were passed, new best friends were made, and everyone agreed that Slash had been the star of the show. By the time they made their way back to the hotel, it was dangerously close to dawn.

  “Let’s finish that bottle of wine in the room,” Owen said. “Come on, Cate. We can sit on the balcony for a while and watch the sun come up.”

  “Don’t you have a flight to catch?” Cate asked. Owen was leaving a day earlier than they were, due to work.

  “I can sleep when I’m dead. But what I’ve never done is sit on a balcony and watch the sun rise over New Orleans.”

  And so they found themselves content on the balcony, lounging in silence as they watched the city of New Orleans sleep in the hour before dawn.

  “I don’t think I’ve heard this city be this quiet yet,” Owen commented as they sipped their wine, each lost in their own thoughts.

  “Sunday night – well, technically Monday morning. I suppose it’s the quietest it will get,” Tess said, tilting forward to lean her arms against the balcony rail. Six months ago, she’d sat in this same spot. She glanced back through the window to the bedroom. For a moment, she could see Gabe lying there, silhouetted in the glow of his phone, leaving her alone on the balcony, a robe wrapped over her sexy lingerie, to look out at the city and wonder why her husband didn’t see her anymore.

  “Hey, pretty lady!” Tess shook herself from her memories to see a man below carrying a white bucket, a jaunty bounce to his step. “Good morning to you, darling!”

  “And to you, good sir,” Tess waved down to him, and Cate and Owen leaned over to wave as well.

  “Ah, a crowd. My favorite,” the man declared, hugging his arms to his chest before turning the pail over on the middle of the sidewalk and settling onto it. He cleared his throat for a moment, and then held his hands up to Tess. “I’ve got just the song for you.”

  The city seemed to settle into itself, taking a giant inhale, and Tess froze as the man began to sing.

  “I know your pain…darling…”

  A surprisingly beautiful tenor voice boomed from the depths of his soul, floating across the silence of the street up to their balcony. The words hung, crystalized in the air. Tess’s eyes filled as the song punched her, his voice prophetic. Her dreams of an idyllic future with Gabe shattered at her feet, the promise of a new destiny as sure as the sun rising on the man who sang his heart out below.

  “Let your worries drift…running with the river…change is coming…oh yes, my darling…change is coming.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  The weekend away had only begun to whet her taste for traveling. Coming home to a house that was staged for showings, a shell of what it was, made Tess even more anxious to get out, get away, and get after life. She craved the carefree attitude of the weekend she’d had in New Orleans, where she could laugh with friends and forget about all that troubled her for a while.

  “At least I am still writing,” Tess said to Red, who had settled himself at her feet, her little shadow. She’d spent the last couple of weeks feverishly writing, getting absorbed into the murder mystery she was working on. Red cocked his head at her while Ringo ran to get a toy, always assuming she’d be up for some playtime.

  Writing a book was hard enough, Tess mused, absentmindedly tossing the ball for Ringo as he scampered across the room after it. Writing a romance novel while going through a divorce? It had been like sticking a knife in her gut. Repeatedly. She’d finally broken down and politely announced to her readers that she’d found herself going through an unexpected divorce and to anticipate delays in the romance series they loved. While most had been sympathetic, many had dug deeper for the specifics of what had happened. Tess couldn’t blame them – she wrote drama for a living, after all, and everyone loved juicy stories. But, knowing he was checking her public page, she’d refused to comment and had stayed strictly professional.

  Once again, she found herself adrift, struggling to write her book and feeling listless and sad that she couldn’t really take charge of her future.

  “Do what makes you happy,” Cate had advised on the way home from their trip.

  “I wonder…” Tess murmured, remembering that Kathy, her new friend she’d met in Cozumel, had invited her to come diving with them again in the fall. Before she could think more about it, she messaged her friend to see if they were going with a group and if there’d be any spots open on the dive boat. “Who knows, Red? Maybe I can get back in the water again. Wouldn’t that be nice? A whole week underwater with nobody talk
ing to me?”

  Red licked her ankle in response.

  Her phone beeped with an email – like it did constantly these days. Tess had been handling everything for this divorce – as in everything. Gabe hadn’t bothered with getting a lawyer or helping with the packing and staging of the house, or anything really. She’d repainted the living room, something she’d asked him to do repeatedly when they were together, and had spent hours decluttering. It had taken every ounce of her willpower not to toss Gabe’s old records in the garbage when she tripped hauling them up from the basement and skinned her knees. Even more infuriating? When this was all said and done, he’d prance away into the sunset with a good chunk of money in his pocket, half the household goods, no student loan debts, and a young mistress on his arm. Resentment burned in her stomach at the thought – it seemed like he was getting rewarded for being the unscrupulous one – but she shoved it down.

  Play the long game, Tess reminded herself. Be nice. Be nice. Be nice. Get out with as little struggle as possible, and just move on. Your prize is that you’ll be free from ever having to deal with someone who treats you like shit again, Tess thought, and picked up her phone to scan her new messages.

  There were a lot of unread emails that had piled up while she was focused on finishing her novel. Another house showing this afternoon. Tess sighed, annoyed with how often she had to gather the dogs and leave the house. Another message from her attorney.

  Nothing from Vicki, Tess noted as she skimmed through, and tried not to let that particular resentment curdle up inside of her. A lot of emotions bubbling around inside today. She’d tried a few times with Vicki since their big argument, but her phone calls went unreturned, and her text messages ignored. Frankly, at this point, if Vicki didn’t want Tess in her life, that was on her. Much like with Gabe, Tess kept trying to take the high road and somehow was left feeling like she was on the losing end of the stick.

  A new e-mail popped onto her screen, and she clicked on it immediately.

  Hey Tess! Great to hear from you – yes, we’d love to have you come dive with us! That would be so much fun. You should totally come down, get away from all the life crap that you’re dealing with. Nothing better than blowing some bubbles to take the stress away. Here’s our dates. Let me know! – Kathy

  Tess fist-bumped the air. “Yes!” Until she took a second look at the date and her heart fell. They were traveling the week of her divorce date. She had to be in court to go before the judge to dissolve her marriage. Crestfallen, she thanked Kathy and explained the situation.

  Let us know if anything changes. You can always book last minute. It’s low season there and flights are a steal.

  Tess would have stomped her feet on the floor and had a bit of tantrum if Red wasn’t currently sitting on them. She really wanted to go on this trip – no, she needed to go. Why? Tess had no idea, but for some reason, once the thought took hold, it consumed her. It was as if her last trips had awakened her passion for travel, and now she craved the freedom and new experiences it brought.

  Tess sighed, working her way through her messages, starting with the most recent. Her attorney had asked her to call. She might as well check in now.

  “Hey, Sandra,” Tess said, “How are you?”

  “I’m good, and you? Hanging in there?”

  “Yup. Taking the high road like we discussed.” Tess glanced at the clock, knowing they were on very expensive billable hours. “What did you want to talk about?”

  “Have you had a chance to go over the settlement agreement with Gabe?”

  Tess thought back to his tirade of messages when she’d been in New Orleans.

  “No, he hasn’t been in the best frame of mind.”

  “I understand. But I know you want to get this over with, and it would make the proceedings go much more quickly. The sooner I get the papers signed, the sooner I can submit them to the court and get this wrapped up.”

  Tess froze.

  “Sooner? As in…can you get the divorce date moved up?”

  “Yes, if we have a signed settlement agreement, we can probably get the date moved up.” Tess almost dropped the phone. “I can’t promise by how much, but courts like to see agreements and will typically try to move them earlier in the schedule when they can.”

  “I didn’t know that.”

  “Have you been checking your emails?”

  “I’m a bit backlogged at the moment,” Tess admitted.

  “Check them. You’ve got an updated agreement that has been delivered to both you and Gabe. All we have to do is get signatures and you’re rounding the corner toward home plate.”

  “Wow. Okay, thanks, Sandra. I really appreciate it.”

  “No problem. Good luck, and let me know how it goes with Gabe.”

  “I will.”

  Hanging up, Tess glanced back to her computer where the message from Kathy was still open. If the divorce date got moved up, she might be able to go on the scuba diving trip. Sun, sand, and a week of nothing but the peace of floating underwater and smiling at turtles and pretty fish. Tess craved it so much, she actually gasped out loud. It could be a way to establish the beginning of a new way of life where she put herself first. Perhaps she could take more dive trips and that would become her thing, Tess thought, picturing herself diving around the world. It was a hobby that she could do as a single person; all she had to do was join a dive boat to make friends and she’d have built-in dive buddies.

  “That’s it. I’m going on this trip,” Tess said and Red leaned over to lick her ankle once more. “Don’t worry, buddy, your favorite dog sitter will come stay with you guys, I promise.”

  Picking up the phone, she pressed Gabe’s name.

  “Gabe, it’s me.”

  “Hey,” Gabe’s voice sounded uncertain over the phone.

  “There’s another house showing today.” Tess plucked at a crease in her shorts. “And we’ve got two tomorrow.”

  “That’s cool.”

  Tess rolled her eyes. No mention of asking if she needed help cleaning the house or to watch the dogs, she noted. “We need to go over the settlement agreement,” Tess said, keeping her tone even.

  “I know, I know.”

  “So? When can we do it? I know you don’t have an attorney, and I want to make sure that you’re comfortable with what you’re going to be signing. It’s only fair that you understand everything.”

  “Yeah, I get that.”

  “So? When can we do it?” she pressed.

  “Why does this need to be done again? Can’t we go over it in court?”

  “If we sign it now, the divorce date can be moved up.” Tess wondered if he would even care.

  “Really? I didn’t know that. Sure, let’s go over it after my trip,” Gabe said, an edge of gloating creeping into his voice.

  “What trip is that?”

  “I’m road-tripping to Portland. On my own. I’ve never done something like this and I just really feel like it will be good for me.”

  Tess bit back the gazillion questions that immediately popped into her head. How was he going to pay for that if all he did was complain about money to her? Shouldn’t he be looking for a job instead of trekking across the country? Wait – did he say alone? She almost laughed. Gabe could barely spend the afternoon by himself, let alone travel cross-country on his own. Tess had a good idea who this road trip was going to be with.

  “When do you leave?”

  “In two days.”

  Tess tamped down the frustration that boiled up inside of her. So he’d go galivanting off across the country with his mistress while she handled all the house showings and negotiations? Typical of Gabe to do exactly what he wanted, when he wanted.

  “I’d like to sign this before you go,” Tess insisted.

  “I don’t know that I’ll have time.” She could hear the stubborn note in his voice.

  “Gabe, please just do this. I’m not asking you to stay in town and handle the showings or help at all with the selli
ng of this house, which you’re getting a healthy amount of proceeds from. My lawyer did suggest that if you’re going to be absent from helping to sell, perhaps we need to take the agreement back and readjust the percentage of proceeds,” Tess said, her tone sweet as sugar.

  “No, no, no. I think it’s fair where it’s at. I’ll be by tomorrow night,” Gabe said. Tess thanked him before hanging up.

  Kathy… I may just be lucky enough to swing this trip after all.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Gabe, we’re going to have so much fun on our trip. I can’t believe I’m moving out there – it’ll be better than this town. I’ll find us a great spot.

  I know, I can’t believe you are either. I dig it though. I’ve always wanted to live out that way.

  I know, babers. We’ll leave all this behind.

  Yup.

  What time are you meeting Ryan tonight? Do you think you’ll be out late? I’ll wait up for you.

  Don’t wait up, Babers. We’re having a boys’ night. I’ll just Uber home so I’m not annoying you when you have to get up for work early.

  You sure, babers? You know I like it when you wake me up.

  I like waking you up, with my tongue…

  Tess rolled her eyes and clicked out of the messages, promising herself that she would, indeed, one day soon – very soon, she swore to herself – stop reading these messages. They had become like a daily soap opera – as her grandmother had called it, her stories – and Tess tuned in each day to read about how awful she was, how poor Gabe had no direction, and what Gabe and Babers were arguing about in the moment. And, boy, did they argue, Tess mused, wondering for the hundredth time if they could sense the disdain and distrust in the way they spoke to each other. She knew he lied, even to his new love.

  Glancing in the mirror in the front hallway, Tess studied herself. Had she spent a little extra time getting ready? Damn straight, she had. Leaning forward, she wiped a smudge of mascara away from under her green eyes and sighed. At thirty-six, she certainly couldn’t compete with the skin of a twenty-two-year-old, Tess admitted to herself, studying the few lines around her eyes and one in her forehead. Gabe’s cheating had caused a serious blow to her ego, and she was working every day to remind herself that she wasn’t in competition with the college kids of the world. Someday, maybe – if she found the right man – she wouldn’t feel the need to compete at all.