The Upside of Love

by Sandi Lynn

  “Is Sam or Gretchen still home?” I asked with an attitude.

  “No. They went to breakfast.”

  I was fidgeting again and a nervous wreck, but I had to put Giselle and the baby first.

  “Lucky called and Giselle is in labor.”

  “I know. He just called me. I’m heading there now. The Explorer won’t start, will it?” he asked.

  “No.”

  “Get in my Jeep. I’ll drive you there.”

  I took in a deep breath. This was not supposed to happen. I had no choice but to go with him. I climbed in the Jeep, fastened my seat belt, and looked out the passenger window.

  “Lily—”

  I put up my hand to stop him. “No words. Just get me to the hospital.”

  He sighed and sped off out of the parking lot. The ride there was silent. I wouldn’t look at him. I couldn’t look at him because, if I did, I’d break down again. He dropped me off at the door and I ran up to Giselle’s room. When I walked in, she was yelling in pain. Lucky was putting a cool cloth on her head and holding one hand, while Gretchen was holding the other.

  “Lily,” Giselle cried. “It’s too early. I can’t have her yet. It’s too early.”

  “Shh. It’s going to be all right. I promise,” I said as I ran my hand across her hair.

  I looked at Gretchen. “Why did you and Sam have to go to breakfast so early? The Explorer wouldn’t start and I had to get a ride in with Luke. Do you know how uncomfortable that was?”

  “Sorry, but we were hungry,” she said. You really need to get a new car.”

  Giselle yelled with another contraction. The doctor walked back in the room and told her that it was time to start pushing. She was crying and telling the doctor that it was too early. Lucky was trying to soothe her and make her comfortable. Finally, after talking to her and helping her through it, she delivered her baby girl.

  “We need to take her to the neonatal unit right away,” the nurse said with sympathy as she held the baby to her.

  “Can I just touch her?” Giselle asked as she cried.

  The nurse brought the baby closer to her and Lucky. He kissed her lightly on the head and Giselle touched her tiny hand. The nurse took her out of the room immediately and Giselle began to sob uncontrollably. Lucky did his best to calm her down. We thought it would be best for the two of them, as parents, to be left alone. Gretchen and I walked out of the room and saw Sam and Luke sitting in the waiting room across the hall. Gretchen went over to them and I walked down to the coffee bar.

  I took my coffee outside to the courtyard and took a seat on a wrought-iron bench. I looked at my phone. I had a text message from my mom.

  “Just checking in and making sure you’re okay.”

  “I’m as good as I can be. Giselle had the baby about thirty minutes ago and we’re not sure what’s going to happen.”

  “I’m sorry, Lily. Girls are strong. That baby of hers is going to be just fine.”

  “Thanks, Mom. I’ll talk to you soon.”

  I took a sip of my coffee and then looked down at the ground.

  “Hey,” Luke said.

  I closed my eyes and was ready to lash out at him and tell him to get the fuck away from me, but I didn’t have the strength. So I just looked up at him with sad eyes.

  “The baby is going to be okay,” he said.

  “You don’t know that for sure. There are so many complications for a baby born prematurely.”

  “Do you mind if I sit down?”

  I put my hand out, signaling that I really had no choice because there were other people in the courtyard and I didn’t want to cause a scene. He sat there with his elbows on his knees and his face cupped in his hands.

  18

  Lily

  “I can take a look at your car and see what’s wrong,” Luke said.

  “Nah. I’ll have it towed again. I don’t need your help,” I snapped quietly.

  “I know you don’t, but I want to help.”

  I turned my head and looked at him. “You really want to help me? You can do that by leaving me alone,” I said as I shook my head and tears stung my eyes.

  I got up from the bench and walked back into the hospital. I couldn’t escape the pain that constantly flowed throughout my body, the gut-wrenching pain that was such a huge part of my life. I walked into Giselle’s room and sat down next to her, grabbing her hand.

  “The doctor said that her lungs aren’t fully mature yet and they have her on a breathing machine. He said the next twenty-four hours are critical, but he’s optimistic that she’ll pull through.”

  “Of course she’ll pull through. She’s a girl. A strong girl who comes from a line of strong women like her mom.” I smiled.

  “She is strong, isn’t she?”

  “She sure is,” I said. “Have you picked a name for her yet?”

  “Yeah, we did.” She smiled as she looked at Lucky.

  “Isabella Grace Chambers,” Lucky replied.

  “That’s a beautiful name. You look tired, Giselle. You better get some rest. I’m going to head out unless you want me to stay.”

  “No. You go do what you have to do. I’ll see you later.”

  I kissed her and Lucky on the cheek and walked over to the neonatal unit. Luke was standing there, looking through the window. I took in a deep breath as I walked up and stood next to him.

  “She’s so tiny,” he said.

  “Yeah, she is. She’ll be okay. I know she will.”

  Luke looked over at me and then back at Isabella.

  “Look, I’m sorry for snapping at you today. Last night, no. Today, yes.”

  “I don’t blame you. How are you getting home or wherever you have to go?”

  “I was going to catch a ride with Sam or Gretchen, but I can’t find them.”

  “They left already. Sam said he had to go to work and Gretchen had something to do.”

  “That’s great. I’ll call a cab then.”

  “I can drive you home, Lily,” he replied as he still stared straight ahead.

  “Don’t you have to get to the bar?” I asked.

  “The bar can wait.”

  “Thanks,” I softly said.

  “Are you ready now?” he asked.

  “Yeah. I guess I’ll go home and call a tow truck.”

  I followed behind him out of the hospital and into the Jeep. A part of me wanted to reach over and hold his hand, but the bigger part of me wanted to hit him.

  ****

  Luke

  As soon as we pulled into the parking lot of the apartment building, Lily got out and climbed into her Explorer to try and start it one last time before she called the tow truck. She looked at me when it suddenly started.

  “What the hell!” she exclaimed.

  I shrugged my shoulders. That was weird that it just started after it wouldn’t turn over this morning. I climbed back in my Jeep and drove to the bar. I decided that I had no choice but to respect Lily’s wishes and leave her alone. I could see the pain that resided in her eyes because it was same pain as mine.

  “Hey,” Maddie said as I walked in the bar.

  “Hey. Giselle had the baby.”

  “Is she okay?” she asked.

  “The next twenty-four hours are critical, but I think she’ll pull through. How’s Charley? I sent her a couple of text messages and she won’t respond.”

  “She really wants nothing to do with you.”

  I rolled my eyes and sighed. “She’s not the only one.”

  “Have you talked to Lily yet?”

  “You mean have I been screamed at and been told that she hates me and that I broke her? Yes.”

  “Aw, Luke. I’m sorry.”

  “I don’t want to talk about it anymore,” I said as I walked to my office.

  Cody was sitting at my desk again and it looked like she was going over the books.

  “Hey, Luke. I’ll be done in a second.”

  “Hey. I really need to have another office built,�
�� I said as I turned and walked out.

  I pulled my phone from my pocket and sent Lily a text message.

  “Hey, I’m really sorry to bother you, but do you still have the phone number for that contractor you used for your studio?”

  A few minutes later, her reply came through with only his name and phone number. What the hell did I expect? I dialed the number and waited for him to answer.

  “Hello, Cameron Cole here.”

  “Cameron, my name is Luke Matthews. I got your number from Lily Gilmore. You did some work on her photography studio.”

  “Hi, Luke. What can I do for you?”

  “I own a bar and was looking to have a small office built for my assistant.”

  “Sure. I can come by later this afternoon, take a look, and give you an estimate if you’re going to be around.”

  “Sounds great, Cameron. I’ll be here.”

  I gave him the address and he knew exactly where it was. I walked behind the bar and started drying off the rack of glasses that were sitting there.

  “Cameron, a contractor, will be stopping by later to look at building an office for Cody,” I said to Maddie.

  “Oh. So you plan on keeping her around?”

  “Don’t start with me, Maddie. She’s a good employee.”

  “I have a feeling that we’re going to see how good she really is,” she said as she walked away.

  I rolled my eyes as I placed the dry glasses on the shelf. I looked up and saw Cody walking across the bar in her short skirt and tight shirt. She perched herself on the barstool and showed me some figures on a report.

  “See these numbers? This is your profit and this is your loss. They almost equal out. So technically, you really didn’t make any money last month.”

  “That’s nice to know,” I sighed.

  “Don’t sweat it. We’ll get you up there so you’re rolling in the dough. I remembered that you mentioned bringing in other bands to play on the weekends. I think you should do Friday, Saturday, and Sundays.”

  “I know. I’ve already thought of that and I’m going to do it. I just haven’t had the time to contact any bands or listen to them.”

  “I have an idea.” She smiled as she placed her hand on my arm. “I’m going to place an ad online. I know of a few sites that a lot of bands visit and the ad will grab their attention.”

  “Thanks, Cody. I’m sorry that I haven’t been here much for you since you started. It’s just with Lily and all the shit going on—”

  “Luke, I understand. Don’t worry about it.” She smiled. “Remember, I’m here if you ever want to talk.”

  I gave her a smile and looked up when the bar door opened.

  “Luke Matthews?” the guy asked as he walked towards me.

  “Yep, that’s me,” I answered as I held out my hand.

  “I’m Cameron Cole.”

  “Great to meet you, Cameron. Follow me and I’ll show you where I was thinking about putting the office.”

  He followed me to the back and I showed him the space. He looked around, stood back, took out his measuring tape, and nodded his head.

  “Okay. This will work.” He smiled.

  We stood and talked for quite a while. Lily had told me how nice he was and she was right. He was a great guy and he knew his stuff.

  “I have a job that’ll be finished up in a couple of days. I can start then.”

  “Sounds good, man,” I said as I held out my hand. “Thank you for coming out.”

  “No problem. Tell Lily I said hi. She’s a great photographer.”

  I gave a small smile. “Yeah, she is.”

  As he left the bar, Cody walked over to me with a smile on her face.

  “What’s the verdict?”

  “You’ll have your own office soon.”

  She looped her arm around mine and laid her head on my shoulder.

  “Thanks, but I really don’t mind sharing with you. You can tuck me in a corner and I’ll be just as happy.”

  I looked up and noticed Sam walking towards me. Cody immediately let go of my arm and walked away.

  “What the fuck was that, Luke? Are you already giving up on Lily and moving on?”

  “Hell no. She was just thanking me for the new office I’m having built so she doesn’t have to share mine. Jesus Christ, man. You can fuck off for even thinking that.”

  “Really, bro, because what if it was Lily who walked back here instead of me?”

  “Well, I don’t have to worry about that, do I? She won’t even speak to me, let alone walk into my bar,” I said as I walked away and punched the wall.

  “Are you going to the hospital later?” he asked.

  “Yeah. I want to bring Giselle some flowers.”

  “Good idea. I’ll talk to you later,” he said as he started to walk away.

  “Sam,” I called. “Why did you come by the bar?”

  “Oh, I was going to talk to you about something, but it can wait.”

  “Are you sure? You’re already here.”

  “I’m sure. We’ll talk later.” He smiled.

  19

  Lily

  I stepped inside my apartment and threw my keys on the counter. I’d been at the studio, doing the final clean up because I decided that I was going to open within the next couple of days. Now that I was back, I needed to focus on something other than Luke. I jumped into the shower, cleaned up, and put on fresh clothes before I headed to the hospital. As I locked up my apartment, Luke walked out of his. My heart felt like it going to jump out of my throat.

  “Hey,” he said without looking at me.

  “Hey,” I replied and then walked to the Explorer.

  I climbed in and tried not to watch Luke get in his Jeep, but my eyes couldn’t help it. I put the key in the ignition and nothing. Luke drove off and I was about ready have a breakdown. I turned the key again. Nothing. My phone rang and it was Luke.

  “Hello,” I answered softly.

  “The Explorer won’t start again, will it?”

  “Nope,” I said quietly because I was going to lose it any second.

  “I’m back,” he said as he hung up and pulled up next to me.

  I rolled down my window and looked at him.

  “Are you going to the hospital?” he asked.

  “Yeah.”

  “Me too. Hop in,” he said with a small smile.

  For fuck’s sake. You have got to be kidding me. I grabbed my purse and climbed into the Jeep.

  “We have to stop at the florist first. I want to pick up some flowers for Giselle,” he said.

  I nodded my head. “Okay.”

  I kept my head turned and looked out the passenger window. Luke pulled into the parking lot of the florist and we both went inside. I wanted to get some balloons for Giselle and Lucky. Luke stood in front of the cooler, looking at the pink roses. He told the sales lady that he’d take a dozen while I had another sales lady blow up a few balloons. This was awkward and, first thing tomorrow morning, I was having the Explorer towed and looking for a new vehicle. As soon as we got back in the Jeep, Luke asked me if I would mind holding the roses. I took them from him and continued to look out the window.

  “I met Cameron Cole today,” he said out of the clear blue.

  “Really?” I asked.

  “Yeah. He’s going to build a small office for Cody.”

  “That’s nice.”

  “He’s a really nice guy. I can see why you liked him so much.”

  “Yep. He’s great.”

  I heard him sigh and then there was silence until he asked me about Charley.

  “Have you seen Charley yet?”

  “No. I was planning on seeing her tomorrow.”

  “She told me she hated me.”

  “Why would she say that?” I asked as I looked at him.

  “Because you left.”

  “I’m sure she didn’t mean it. You know how kids are.”

  That little girl meant everything to him and it must have killed him
to hear her say that. I didn’t stop to think how she would be affected by what happened between me and Luke and now I felt like total shit. Worse than I already did. He pulled into a parking space at the hospital and we went up to Giselle’s room. Luke walked over, gave her a kiss, and handed her the beautiful pink roses. I looked over at Gretchen and Sam, who were staring at each other when Luke and I walked in. I handed Lucky the balloons and took a seat on the edge of the bed.

  “How’s she doing?” I asked.

  “So far, she’s doing well. The doctor is really optimistic. We got to sit with her earlier. It’s so hard to see her hooked up to all those monitors and that breathing machine.” She began to cry.

  I leaned over and hugged her. “I know, but it’s helping her. Just remember that. Pretty soon, you’ll be holding her in your arms and this will all be behind you.”

  Lucky, Luke, and Sam stepped out of the room and Gretchen walked over and sat down in the chair by us.

  “Did you come here with Luke? What’s going on?”

  “The damn Explorer was dead again and Luke was leaving to come here, so he offered me a ride.”

  “That’s the second time today, Lily,” Gretchen said.

  “No shit, and I can’t believe it.”

  “Have the two of you talked?” Giselle asked.

  “You mean besides Lily screaming at him last night in the middle of the parking lot?”

  I shot Gretchen a look. “Very little and nothing but small talk. I told him this morning to leave me alone.”

  Giselle took hold of my hand. “Sweetie, don’t you think that maybe you should listen to him? Hear what he has to say.”

  “He said all I needed to hear that night he accused me of killing Callie and left. It’s obvious he isn’t over her and I don’t think he’ll ever be.”

  “That’s not true,” Sam said as he walked back in the room.

  “Sam, I’m not talking about this anymore.”

  “Where’s Lucky?” Giselle asked.

  “He and Luke are looking at Isabella. She’s a beauty, Giselle. Thank God she looks like you.” He laughed.

  We all laughed and it felt good. It felt good to be in the company of my best friends at a time I needed them most. When Luke and Lucky walked back in the room, I walked out and headed for the coffee machine. I pulled my phone from my pocket and sent Maddie a text message.