Chlorophyll and Gasoline

by SJ Fleming

  “Yeah,” Willow said, scratching the back of her head. “But...I don’t know, maybe now that you’re a bit closer, you could see a bit more of it. I mean, it’s easier to bring stuff here than it is to bring stuff to the Undergrowth.”

  “Why not simply bring me to the Stamen?”

  Willow looked down at her feet. “It’s...it’s not that easy, unfortunately. I don’t know how most people would react to it. I’ve only talked to two people about it so far...I mean, they were important people, but...it’s kind of hard to say how the others will react.”

  “I assume at least one of those people has a rather negative outlook on the situation? You did say that opinions were mixed.”

  Willow cursed herself for not watching her language closer. She looked up at Suzy, watching her face and trying to discern any sort of response. Suzy just stared right on ahead, waiting for Willow to answer.

  “Uh...yeah…” Willow sighed. “Yeah, it’s...I’m trying, though.”

  “I appreciate it.” Suzy paused for a moment before asking a question. “Are you upset, Willow? You do not look particularly pleased.”

  “Oh, no, it’s just that...this has kind of put me in a tough situation, you know? I feel like I’m stuck between a dozen different things, between what I can do and what I want, and what I want is…” she trailed off.

  “Is what?”

  The words almost hurt for Willow to say. Nervousness built up in her, the strings of her heart ready to snap. But she forced them out.

  “For you to be happy, Suzy.”

  “Oh.”

  CHAPTER FIVE

  Beyond that single awkward, ‘oh,’ Suzy was completely silent and unmoving. Every time she went into that weird statuesque limbo, Willow felt uncomfortable. It didn’t seem natural for something alive to be able to sit as still as a stone.

  “I... I just feel a bit of...uh...responsibility, I guess.” Willow explained.

  “Why?”

  “Well, uh, I woke you up out of sleep mode, right?”

  “Yes, you did.” Suzy said with little in the way of emotion.

  “Well, I just feel like...I need to make sure you can adjust to this world. It’s...it sounds pretty different from what you’re used to, as far as I can tell. So, I want to help you to be happy here.”

  “I see. That is admirable. Thank you.”

  Willow nodded, inhaling deeply. It was hard to admit that to Suzy. Really hard. She didn’t know exactly why.

  “Now, Willow,” Suzy said, motioning to the area around her vaguely. “Is it possible to get a vine similar to the one that you use to descend near here? With this new information, I feel slight discomfort at the idea of constantly going back and forth near the Stamen when I need to gather things from the Undergrowth. I do not wish to be seen, if there is a chance it could compromise your efforts.”

  “It’ll be hard for me to get one of those, I think,” Willow mumbled. “I don’t know if Juniper is growing them right now. I’ll ask.”

  “Thank you, Willow. I appreciate it.” A moment passed before she spoke again. “Now, I did make some interesting discoveries during my latest sortie into the city. It might be of relevance to you!” She shuffled around a bit, trying to find whatever it was. Before long, she produced a large knife, thick, broad, and lightly pitted. One end of it was a blade, the other a series of teeth, like the jaw of some metal predator. The handle felt rubbery and looked smooth, but it gripped her hand well. She instinctively put the blade against her skin, and scraped away the fine hairs. It was a sharp knife, that much Willow knew. Heavy, too.

  Suzy looked on in concern as Willow rubbed the knife against her arm. Willow noticed how she struggled not to say anything.

  “Oh,” Willow said, handing the knife back. “I was just testing the sharpness.”

  “I see…” Suzy nodded, apparently not entirely convinced. “Well, if it ever dulls, you can come and see me. I don’t have a whetstone, but I might be able to do something.”

  “You’re…you’re giving this to me? Are you sure you don’t need it yourself?”

  Suzy handed over the knife again, and then the sheath. It was hard material, thick and rough-looking. It felt more like bark than anything, despite looking like it was covered in sand. Pure black, too. Yet another material Suzy was familiar with, but Willow understood nothing of. The knife slid into its sheath easy enough, though it seemed to lock itself in place when it had gone a little past its hilt.

  Willow didn’t see a strap or a button or latch, it just seemed to hold itself perfectly in place. She held it upside down, shaking the sheath lightly. The knife inside didn’t budge. Taking it out was a little hard; it took a bit more effort than Willow was used to. It was leagues ahead of anything she had already. Whatever it was, it must have been from the height of the Polluted One’s civilization.

  “Do you like it?” Suzy asked.

  Willow nodded. “Yes, Suzy. It’s great. Thank you.”

  “There…there won’t be any problems, will there? With your Stamen? I don’t want to cause rifts, at least not any more than I already have.”

  “I’m sure it’ll be fine, Suzy. Don’t worry. If anyone asks me where I found it, I’ll say it was found in the Undergrowth. I mean, that’s technically correct, isn’t it?”

  “I-I suppose so.” Suzy shrugged. “So, Willow, why did you come here? I thought this place was out of the way enough that I would not be bothered–not that you bother me or anything! I just…oh…” she slumped.

  “I know what you meant, Suzy. Don’t worry.” Willow assured her, putting a hand on Suzy’s shoulder. “Look, I came here became of the same reason you did. It’s quiet, out of the way, and no one bothers you here. It’s a place I go to relax and calm down, gather my thoughts and all that.”

  “Oh. Oh, I see. I am so sorry, I was unaware this was your private location. I shall leave forthright,” Suzy’s voice grew panicked as she rushed around, trying to gather up everything she had brought, what scant little that was.

  Willow stepped in and pulled Suzy towards her. She didn’t try to resist or anything, simply let Willow pull her up and spin her around.

  “Suzy!” Willow said. “By the Spirits, Suzy! What’s gotten into you? I never said you had to leave, I never even mentioned something close to it! You can stay, ok? I don’t mind. You…you had to get out of the Undergrowth some time anyways. You’ve done nothing wrong, ok? Just…just advanced my plan a little faster than I thought it would happen.”

  “I am sorry, Willow. I am very sorry. It is my programming. I…I was a servant. My family treated me like one of their own, that is true. But I was always a servant. There are overrides programmed into me, I always have to keep my head down, get out of the way, and not disrupt anything. I am sorry, I shall make an effort to listen to you more closely now.”

  Suzy’s voice cracked as she explained herself. If tears could be shed, they would be streaming. A shaky exhalation punctuated the tension and stress around them. It permeated the air, like fog in the morning. The disconnect between them, Willow realized, was far vaster than either were truly ready to face.

  “That’s…that’s ok. Just…uh,” Willow pinched the bridge of her nose. “Don’t feel like you absolutely need to help, alright? I can handle myself, and I don’t want you to feel pressured into being, uh, servile, I guess?”

  “You do not understand, Willow. It is not something I will be able to turn off for some time, if at all. It requires complex emotisimulative reprogramming, it could take months with the current technology at my disposal,” she paused for a moment, considering what she had said for a moment before continuing. “That is not an insult or jab towards your way of life, it is simple fact that I do not have access to the resources I once had. Where once I could have core parts of my personality changed through a simple connection to a computer. Now, I must do it the natural way. That is, I must change through experiences, as a human would.”

  Willow blinked in confusion, trying yet again
to parse the complex words and extinct jargon that Suzy used with such ease. Again, the general meaning was communicated: it was Suzy’s nature.

  “Then I’ll help you through that,” Willow said, not entirely sure what she was actually agreeing to. But it was one of those things where she didn’t actually care. If Suzy could be helped, then Willow would help.

  “Are you certain you wish to do that?” Suzy cocked her head. “You have done more than enough for me already. I consider any debt you incurred towards me settled, if that is your concern.”

  “This isn’t about debts or gifts or exchanges, Suzy,” Willow frowned. “This is about being a good person and helping someone who needs it. I wouldn’t demand debt from a starving man if I gave him bread.”

  “I see. Thank you, Willow. I shall try to make it up to you regardless. If not as a part of your debt and gift system, then as a friend.”

  Willow wasn’t exactly sure how the two were different. Offering to ‘make it up to someone’ was doing something to repay a debt, real or imagined. But a different time, a different culture, she reminded herself. Any strangeness could be forgiven through remembering the centuries between them.

  In the time the two of them had spent together, bit by bit, Willow had forgotten the centuries. Everything about Suzy seemed so real, so close to being human, that the difference between them was aesthetic and chronological. But it wasn’t irreconcilable. She was not Gaian, but she was a person. Kael was right about that.

  Willow left Suzy after a short time, with additional assurance that there was no issue between them if Suzy decided to stay where she was. It wasn’t like there was some great emotional significance to the location that made any change to it unacceptable. She was, perhaps, a bit disappointed that it had happened without her knowing. But she couldn’t be angry at Suzy. She was confused, scared, alone, and acting without much knowledge of the world around her. A mistake or two was understandable.

  Besides, it’s not like the Yggdrasil was lacking in private, quiet places to hide away in.

  She walked down the narrow branch-path back to the Stamen. A person was in the distance, too far away to make out much except the dark green skin and light brown skirt. She stopped and squinted, trying to make out the specifics. Gaian, for sure. Only in recent times would that need to be clarified.

  She called out to the person, asking them who they were and what they were doing. There was hesitation in the reply, a sort of stuttering. It was Tulip’s voice, shaking as if he was completely unsure about what he was actually saying.

  “Willow, is that you? I think we need to talk for a bit.”

  Oh, no, Willow thought. No matter what happened, that particular string of words always struck fear into her. The best and worst news of her life had come when someone–often with a stuttering hesitation–told her they needed to talk. More often the worst. After all, very few people would solemnly tell someone they must speak in order to give a compliment. No one ever pulled another aside to privately compliment their cooking. Willow hoped this was one of the few exceptions.

  “So, uh, I was speaking with the Woundmender…”

  Willow’s heart sunk. Of course. Of course it would be that. What sort of…she hesitated and then refused to finish that thought. It would have been a mark on her to simply associate that thought with someone as venerable as the Woundmender. She steeled herself for whatever conversation was coming.

  “I’m concerned, Willow. He’s saying you’re consorting with bad things. Old things.”

  “Does he?” Willow cocked her head in a pitifully weak attempt at playing dumb. Anything to avoid this conversation, particularly with an apprentice to the Woundmender. It wasn’t like changing his mind was possible. The best option was to simply avoid the topic, no matter what.

  “Yes. Some old being from the Polluted Times. Now, as I come looking for you, I hear you speaking to someone with a name I do not know. Another Stamen? Unlikely, I think, given I have never heard the name in my life. In fact, it sounds quite unlike a name, and more like a collection of sounds. Perhaps the Woundmender’s fears were justified, then?”

  “It’s…wait, why are you always looking for me? Is it not possible for you to simply wait in the Stamen until I return? What is it with you and—”

  “Do not deflect, Willow.” His tone changed, anger underlying everything he said. An anger born from many things, brewed over many years. The two of them had never fully healed the rifts between them after the…unfortunate happenings of teenage years. It seemed now he had a conduit to let them out. Willow hoped he would keep calm, though. It was bad enough that he always seemed to shirk work to follow her around, but if the Woundmender had been telling him things, then there was probably nothing she could do.

  “I’m not deflecting! There’s really nothing, I promise,” she stepped back. The tip of her heel hung off of the edge of the branch. If either of them noticed, neither of them cared enough to correct it.

  “Really? So, you go down to the Undergrowth, and tell the Woundmender about this silver person you saw, and now I hear you speaking to someone hidden and away, and now,” he lunged forwards. Willow curled herself up defensively, trying to protect herself from expected blows.

  He pulled the knife from Willow’s pouch, holding the black scabbard up.

  “And now this! How deep into the Undergrowth are you going, Willow? Who are you consorting with? Some mechanical being that brought ruin to the world? Some sort of damned replica?!”

  “Give that back! I found that in the Undergrowth, Tulip! Are you going to get mad at me next time I bring up a mushroom?! You’re gonna start interrogating me next time I bring up a metal pot? You and I both damn well know a knife isn’t that hard to find down there!”

  “Yeah?” Tulip stepped forwards again, pushing Willow further back. Willow hoped Suzy wasn’t overhearing. The last thing she needed was some man yelling about how she shouldn’t be around, or was something wrong and evil.

  She stepped back again, only to feel air beneath her foot. She stumbled and fell, slipping down the branch.

  Slipping farther and farther, until only her arms clung to the branches and stray vines, Willow screamed for help. Every part of her was burning, every muscle and tendon screaming as loud as she was. Tulip seemed to break out of the rage, and bolted down to help Willow, pulling her up with every bit of his strength.

  It wasn’t enough. She could feel herself slipping, inch by inch. Every time she struggled, every moment she tried to get herself back onto the safe earth, she slipped deeper and deeper down. Tulip couldn’t pull her up, and she couldn’t pull herself up. The burning, the pain, it was too much. Willow felt herself almost let go.

  Another pair of hands grabbed her by the shoulders. They cupped her underarms, and hoisted her up. She felt herself rise through the air, until she was on solid ground once again. She looked around, confused and just as scared as when she was dangling. After she was dragged to a relatively safe position, she was let go and allowed to catch her breath.

  She threw up, leaning over the edge and letting loose. Everything she had eaten was disposed of with heaving, painful retches. A flurry of apologies from two different voices entered her ears, and it was impossible to make sense of either voice. When she finally stood up, she was guided back to Suzy’s camp. Only then did she realize that the person who had helped her up was, in fact, Suzy.

  Tulip followed close behind them, cautious and watching. Willow felt, somehow, even less comfortable with Tulip around then she would if she was simply alone. Having one’s ex-boyfriend hang around after a near-death experience was hardly comforting. Particularly since he caused it. Maybe it was intentional? Maybe he meant for that to happen? Of course, that could just as easily be Willow’s mind taking a lone idea and running with it as fast as it could, as she was often wont to do.

  Suzy helped Willow down, resting her against a wall in the little alcove. Tulip stood just outside, observing the silver person he had spoken of before. Far
from some corrupting influence, Suzy simply offered to make tea for the two of them. Something about finding pine needles.

  “So…” Tulip said, gesturing to the Iron One. “That is…Sissy?”

  “Suzy. Soo-zee.” Willow said, heavily accenting the last syllable, just to make sure that Tulip absolutely, one-hundred percent, understood. He nodded.

  “Suzy, then. It…uh…”

  “She.”

  “Sorry, uh, she…saved your life.”

  “Yes, she did.” Willow said. Her tone was shaky, still recovering from the shock. Tulip was absolutely the last person she wanted to talk to right now, and his persistent presence proved to be rather disconcerting. “And you were the one who kept pushing me back.”

  “Now that’s not true, Willow,” Tulip protested. “I just stepped forwards and you slipped!”

  “Yeah, stepped forwards while you look about ready to slap me upside the damn face!” Willow barked. “And if you had just left well enough alone and waited for me to get back to the Stamen, instead of wandering all the way out here to interrogate me, then maybe this wouldn’t have bloody happened! The hell are you doing here, anyways?! Does the Woundmender send you out to get me, or do you just follow me perpetually, waiting for a chance to get me into some situation so you can save the day?!” Willow’s voice strained, cracking as she choked back tears.

  “Spirits dammit, Willow, don’t start crying,” Tulip pleaded.

  “And why not?! Should I just let you dictate the terms by which I act? Spirits know you’ve tried that before! Go back to the Stamen, Tulip, and leave me the he—”

  “I have tea!” Suzy declared, holding up a large bough of pine. “Well, not tea per se,” she shrugged. “But some water and heat and it will be tea enough, I am sure!”

  Willow let out a shaky breath, barely able to collect herself. If for no one’s sake but Suzy’s, she would not embroil herself in internal conflicts right now. It was something to be solved with a trusted, external party. Of course, the likelihood of finding an unbiased party was low enough without Suzy being thrown into the mix.