Perfect Worlds Omnibus
Page 6
Shesatstifflyonthechair,waitingforhimtodeliverthebadnewsthatshe wasbeingfired.Mr.Lecaugotupfromhischairandthenwentaroundtostand behindherchair.Heputonehandonhershoulder.“You’vebeendoingan excellentjob,Kari.Reallyexcellent.I’mveryproudofyou.”
“Thankyou,sir.”
“I’dliketogiveyoualittlereward,”hewhisperedintoherear.Beforeshe couldaskwhathemeant,hewaskissingheronthelips,hiscigar-tastingtongue almostmakinghergag.Aftertheinitialshockworeaway,shepushedhimback andthenshottoherfeet.
“Mr.Lecau!Whatareyoudoing?”
“Don’tplaydumb,Kari.We’vebothwantedthisforoveramonthnow.”
“Idon’tknowwhatyou’retalkingabout,sir.”
Heranahandthroughherhair.Sheflinchedatthiswhilehereyessearched forarouteofescape.Hewasblockingthedoorandevenifshecouldmakeit, hecouldeasilycatchuptoher.Andwhoouttherewouldcometoheraid?
Jeri?Teri?Theyhatedher.They’dprobablywatchMr.Lecauhavehisway withherrightonthefloor.
Hisarmwentlower,cuppingherbreast.Tearscametohereyes.“Please don’tdothis,Mr.Lecau.”
“Now,Kari,I’vehadjustenoughofthislittlegameofhard-to-get.Iwant you,Kari.Iwantyourightnow.”Hetossedhiscigarontothefloorandthen tookherintohisarms.Heplantedanotherkissonhermouth.Shesteppedon hisleftfootashardasshecouldwithherspikeheel.Hegroanedandfora momenthisgrasploosened,justenoughforhertowigglefree.
Shebackedawaytothedoor.Hertremblinghandsfumbledwiththeknob, butitwaslocked.Mr.Lecauchuckledandthenproducedakey,danglingitin frontofhisface.“Lookingforthis?”
“Please,Mr.Lecau,don’t.Thisisn’tright.It’sunprofessional.”
Hesnortedatthat.“Unprofessional?Howdoyouthinkyougotthisjobin thefirstplace,Kari?”Whensheonlystaredbackathim,heshookhishead.
“Areyoureallythatdumborareyoujusthorriblynaïve?”
“Idon’tknowwhatyoumean.”
“Well,IguessIansweredthatquestion.”Heshookhisheadagain.“Kari, there’snoofficeintheworldthatwouldhireyouasasecretary,letalonean ExecutiveSecretaryforacompanylikethis.Youcan’ttakedictation,youcan’t type,youcanbarelyfile.Evenyourcoffeetasteslikeshit.”
“But—”
“Butt.That’sallyouare,Kari:agreatasswithevenbettertits.That’s whatgotyouthejob.Thesameforthoseotherthreeoutthere.Thefourofyou probablyhaveacombinedIQof20.Brain-deadpeopleinthehospitalcoulddo abetterjob.”
“That’snottrue.”
“Really?”Hetooktheletteroffofhisdesk.“Let’ssee.‘Everything’
doesn’thavetwo‘R’s.‘Important’isn’tspelledwithan‘E’ora‘U.’‘Meeting’
isn’tspelledwithan‘A.’Andthat’sonlythefirstsentence.Canyouspell
‘sentence’forme,Kari?”
“S-E-N-T-A—”
“Wrong!”Hetossedtheletterinthewastebasketandthencrossedthe distancebetweenthem.Heranhishandthroughherhairagain.Sheflinched, buttherewasnothingshecoulddo.“You’reabimbo,Kari.Youandthoseother moronsoutthere.YouthinkIletyoudoanyactualwork?Alloftherealwork getsshippeddowntotheeighthfloor,toabunchofmole-facedhags.You’re justherefordecoration.”
“You’relying!”
“Really?Icouldhireabunchofnine-year-oldstodothesamejobasyou fouranditwouldbejustasgood,too.”Heranhishandalonghercheek.“Let’s giveitatry.Thenyou’llseeyourselfforwhatyoureallyare.”
Theblackstoneonhisringwinkedather.Amomentlater,KarifoundMr.
Lecaugrowinglargerinfrontofher.Itwasn’tuntilthesleevesofhersweater hadenvelopedherhandsandherchesthadshrunktopubescentbumpsthatshe realizeditwasbecauseshewasgettingsmaller.Shecontinuedtoshrink,her chestflatteningcompletelywhileherwaistbroadenedandherhipsshrunkto giveherachild’sframe.Theskirtthathadbeensoshortbeforecamedownto themiddleofhercalvesnowwhilehersweatersaggedgrotesquely.Herhair shortenedtojustabouthershoulders,bangsflaringouttocoverherforehead.
Sheputahandtoherheadandfeltaplasticheadband,thekindshehadn’tworn sinceshewasalittlegirl.Theskirtshe’dbeenwearingturnedtoblueplaid whilehersweatertightenedandlightenedintoawhiteblouse—aschoolgirl’s uniform.Asthefinaltouchshelostafewmorecentimetersasherspikeheels turnedtobluecanvassneakerswithwhitekneesocks.
Mr.Lecaupattedheronthehead.“Thereyougo,sweetheart.Nowyou’ve
gotthebodytogowiththebrain.Onceyouunderstandthatandapologize, maybethenI’llmakeyouanadultagain.”
“WhatifIproveyouwrong?”
“InthatunlikelycasethenIsupposeyou’llbeanadultagaintoo.”
Hepushedherasidesohecouldunlockthedoor.Thenhepressed somethinginherhand.“You’llneedthese,sweetie,”hesaid.Shelookeddown toseetheywerethickglasses.Theglassesandeverythingelseturnedblurrya momentlater.
ThemomentKaristeppedoutoftheoffice,sheheardagirlishsqueal.“Oh no!”alittlegirlwailed.“Thiscan’tbehappening.IgotadatewithRaunfrom AccountsReceivabletonight!”
Karifumbledtogettheglassesonandthensawthatshewasn’ttheonly onewhohadchanged.SittingatJeri’sdeskwasalittlegirlwithlonggolden hair.Shestaredintoacompact,fussingwithherthicktresses,herbuttonnose wrinkling.“Thisisn’tfair!”Jerishouted.“Howcouldthishappen?”
AtSheri’sdesksatachubbylittlegirlwithathickmaneofbrownhair.She toowaslookingintoamirror,dimplesonherfreckledcheeksexposedwhenshe smiled.“Ilookcute,”shesaid.“Don’tIlookcute?’
SheaddressedthistoTeri,whowasnowascrawnyraven-hairedgirl.Teri pushedthethickbangsbackfromherforeheadandgrimaced.“I’msoplain,”
shegrumbled.Sheturnedtohertwinsister.“Atleastnotasplainasyou.”
Sherionlystuckouthertongueinresponsetothis.Thensheturnedto whereKaristoodandsmiledagain.“Lookatyou!You’resoadorable.”When Sheristoodup,Karisawshewaswearingthesamewhiteblouseandplaidskirt.
WhileShericrushedherinahug,KarirememberedwhatMr.Lecauhad said.Hehadsaidabunchofnine-year-oldscoulddoasgoodofajob.Sothat’s whattheywerenow:abunchofnine-year-oldgirls.SheletSheriguideher backtoherdesk,whereliketheothersshelookedinthemirror.
Ofthefourofthem,Mr.LecauhadmadeKaritheleastattractive.Withher frecklesandtheglasses,shelookedlikeageek.Thisthoughtdredged somethingfromthedepthsofhermemory.Shesawateenagerwithahelmetof blackhair,afacefulloffreckles,andhugewhiteglasses.Val.
Everythingcamebacktoherthen.Sheputherheadonherdesktocry.It wasallhappeningagain.Shehadtriedtostartanewlifeandnowhereshewas, anerdylittlekidagain.Atleastshewasn’tfatthistime.Yetevenasshe thoughtthis,herstomachpushedherbackfromthedeskuntilthebuttonsofher blousethreatenedtoburst.Nowitreallywasthesameasbefore,exceptshe didn’thaveValtohelpher,onlythreebimbos,twoofwhomhatedherguts.
“Someonebettercallhermommytopickherup,”Jerisaid,withasneer
beyondheryears.
“Kari,what’swrong?”Sheriasked.
“Youmeanotherthanwe’reallbabies?”Terigrowled.
“Wecan’tlethimgetawaywiththis,”Kariannounced.Shewipedthetears awaydefiantly.“Wegottoallpitchinanddothebestjobwecantoshowhim thatwe’renotjustdumbgirlswithniceboobsandgreatasses.Wegottosho
w himthatwedeserverespect.”
“Righton!”Sherisaid.“Let’sshowhim.”
“Showwho?”Teriasked.
“Tai—Mr.Lecau,”Karisaid.“Hehasaringwithastoneonit.Itcan changestuffintowhateverhewants.That’showhemadeuslittle.”
“Whydidhedothat?”
“Toprovehowdumbweare.That’swhywegottashowhimwereallycan dothejob,whetherwe’relittleornot.Thenhe’llmakeusbigagain.”
“Allright!”Sherisaid.“Let’sdoit.”
Theothertwostaredatherforamomentandthenreluctantlynodded.
Thentheysettowork.
Chapter8
Whenshegothome,Karifoundherapartmenthadchangedtobettersuit hernewbody.Anadorablepinkrainslickerhungbythefrontdoorwith matchingbootsbelowit.Theartworkonthewallshadchangedtopostersof unicornsandprancinghorses.Inthekitchenshefoundcrudedrawingsonthe dooroftherefrigeratorandinsidewasonlyjunkfoodandsoda.Shehadto climbonachairsoshecouldreachthetopcupboardsandseethemtoofilled withnothingbutjunk.
Thebedroomwasthebiggestchange.Thewallsoftheroomhadturned pinkwithposterslikeintherestoftheapartmenttackedup.Herbedhadshrunk intoatwin-sizedcanopybedwithapinkbedspreadcoveredwithmoreunicorns.
Sherifledthroughthedrawersandclosettofindmoreschooluniformsaswellas flannelnightgowns,T-shirts,andskirts,allofthempink.SheheldupapinkTshirtwithaunicornonit.“Igetthepointalready,”shegrumbled.
Yetshehadtoadmitthisroomwasexactlytheoneshe’ddreamedofwhen shewasnineyearsold.Withasquealsheleapedontothebed,whereshe snatchedastuffedunicornfromoffthepillow.Sheexaminedtheunicornwith itswhitemane,yellowhorn,andlifelessbrowneyes.“Snowmane,”shesaid withanothersqueal.“Itisyou!”
Likeanynine-year-oldlefthomealone,herdinnerconsistedoficecream, cookies,andsoda.Shegorgedonthesewhileshewatchedtelevision,ashow consistingmostlyofmarionettesdancingaround.Shegiggledatthesillinessof theprogramwhileshovingjunkfoodinhermouth.
Onlyonceshedraggedherselftobedatseveno’clockdidhermindturnto moreseriousmatters.ShethoughtofthoselastmonthswithVal,whentheyhad beenstuckastoddlers.TheyhadletTaidriveawedgebetweenthemandfinally Karihadbetrayedherbestfriend,herfiancee.Shepressedherfaceagainst Snowmanetowipehertearsaway.
Thistimewouldbedifferent.ShewouldfindawaytooutlastTaiandget theStoneofChangefromhim.Shedidn’tknowhowyet,buttherehadtobea way.StillthinkingofValandTai,shefinallyfellasleep.
***
Thenextmorningthealarmwentoffatseveno’clock.Karihadhopedit wouldbeanightmare—again—butthenshefeltSnowmaneinherarms.She tossedthestuffedanimalasidetofindherglassesandstarttheday.
Aftersheshowered,Karilookedinthemirroratherpale,freckledface.
Shewassoweaknow,justarotundchildwholovedunicornsanddreamedof
somedaybeinganarchaeologist.Butthathadbeeninherworld.InTai’s
“perfect”worldthebestshecouldeverhopetobewasasecretary,untilshegot marriedandstartedhavingbabies.It’snotfair,shegrumbledtoherself.
ShethoughtofTai’swageranddecidedtotryandmakeherselflookas grown-upaspossible.Shepulledherhairbackintoatightbun,forsakingthe bangsandheadbandtoday.Thensheappliedasubtlecoatoflipstickandrouge.
Asshepuckeredintothemirror,shedecidedshelookedatleastten,maybeeven eleven.
Herwardrobedidn’thaveanythingmoregrown-upthantheschoolgirl outfitshe’dwornyesterday.Hehaddoneherthesmallmercyofmakingthe blousebigenoughtofitherbelly.MaybeifTaibotheredtopayhershecouldgo buysomethingalittlemoregrown-up.Inthemeantimeshewouldhavetomake dowithwhatshehad.
Justbeforeshewasgoingtostepoutthedoor,sheheardacrackofthunder.
Turningtothewindow,shesawitpouringoutside.Withasighshegrabbedthe pinkslickerandgaloshesfrombythedoor.Thenexttimeshelookedinthe mirror,shelookedaboutsixyearsold.
Walkingalongasidewalkcrowdedwithsomanybustlingadults,she couldn’thelpfeelinglittle.Atleastthebrightpinkofthecoatallowedeveryone toseeher.Shestoppedatthenearestbusstoptowait,notwantingtoriskthe traintoday.Itwouldn’tsurpriseherifTaiwouldstopthetrainorturnherintoa babyinfrontofeveryone.Hecoulddothesamewiththebus,butatleastshe wouldn’tbestuckunderground.
Whileshewaited,shegaveintothechildishimpulsetoplayinapuddle.
Shedancedfromonefoottotheother,hergaloshessplashingthewateraround withouthergettingwet.Anoldwomanpassingbypattedherheadandsaid,
“Wellaren’tyoujustprecious?”
“Thankyou,”shemumbledandthenstoppedplayingtositonthebench.
Thebusarrivedontime.Kariwaiteduntillasttoboardit.Shefumbledin herpocketforsomechangetodropintheslot.“Don’tworryaboutit, sweetheart,”thedriversaid.
“Thankyou,”shesaidagain.Sheploppeddownintheseatbehindthe driver,whereshedroppedherhoodandstaredoutthewindow.
ShewonderedwhathadhappenedtoValafterKarihadabandonedher.
KnowingVal’sstubbornnessshewasprobablystillinthatnursery,kickingand screamingwhileNannyJenetriedtochangeherdiapers.IfonlyKaricouldget thereandfreeher.FirstshewouldneedtogettheStoneofChangefromTaiand changethingsbacktonormal.
Shesighedasshethoughtof“normal.”Thingshadn’tbeennormalforsix
monthsnow.Heroldlifeasanarchaeologyprofessorseemedlikealongago dream.HerlifewithValseemedlikeevenmoreofadream.
Catchingherchildishreflectioninthemirror,shefeltdirtytoeventhink aboutwhatsheandValhadusedtodo.TherehadbeenthattimewhenValhad KariliefacedownonthebedsoshecouldjamadildobetweenKari’slegs.
Fromtalkingwithsomeofhermalecomrades,Valhadduplicatedwhattheydid, thrustingwiththedildountilKarifinallycamewithascreamthathadwoken theirneighbors.
ShehadofferedtodothesameforVal,butherfianceerefused;shelikedto betheonewearingthepants.Partofwhytheirrelationshiphadworkedwas theyhadcomplementedeachothersowell.WhereKarihadalwaysbeenshy andtimid,Valhadbeenahotheadeddaredevil.Karihaddoneallthecreative thinkingwhileValwithhermilitary-trainedbrainhandledthemorepractical things.Theyhadbeensocomplete.Andnoweverythinghadchanged;Valwas probablyaninfantandKariwasalittlegirl.Theworldtheyhadlivedinno longerexistedandwouldinfacthateandfearthemiftheytriedtobetogether.
Thesedarkthoughtscontinuedtohauntheronherwayuptothe penthouse.Noonehadquestionedwhyanine-year-oldwouldbegoingupthere byherself.Shesupposeditmadeperfectsensetotheminsometwistedway.
Shegotofftheelevatorandthenstoppedherselftotakeafewdeep breaths.Thiswasgoingtobedifficult,butshecoulddoit.ShewouldshowTai thatshewasstrongerthanhehadgivenhercreditfor.Thenshewouldfindsome waytostophim.
Sheopenedthedoortotheouteroffice.Themomentshesteppedthrough, aboltofwhitelightrippedthroughher.“Ohno,”shesqueakedamomentbefore shebegantoshrinkagain.Shewatchedwithadetachedsadnessasherchubby framebecamesmaller,thatofatoddleragain.Herhaircameundonefromits bunandthensplititselfinhalftorollintotwopigtails,eachtiedbyapink ribbon.Shefelttheheavybangsbrushagainstherforeheadonceagain.Her whiteblouseturnedintooneofherpinkunicornT-shirts.Thepinkraincoat becameasetofbrightpinkoveralls.Hercanvassneakersturnedequallypink.
AshadhappenedtoValbefore,Kari’sglassesstayedthesame
sizewhiletherest ofhershrunk,sothattheywouldseemcomicallyoversizedonher.
Aroundher,theothersunderwentthesamechanges.Jeri’shairlightenedto aplatinumblondwhileherschoolgirloutfitbecamearuffleddressaspinkas Kari’s.SheribecamealmostaschubbyasKariwhilesheshrank.Herbrown hairpartedintoapairoflongbraidswhileherclothesbecameabillowypowder bluedress.Teriwoundupscrawnierandshorterthanheryoungersister.She endedupwithabillowydresslikeSheri’sonlyinlightyellow.Herhairrolled
itselfupintobouncycurlsthatdancedwhensheturnedherhead.
“Nofair!”Jerihowled.“Nowownevergettogoonanydates.”
“Whywouldyouwanttodateanyickyboys?”Sheriasked,hernose wrinkling.
“Shutup!”
“No,youshutup!”
“Guys,stopit!”Karishouted,stampingoneofherlittletennisshoes.
“Wook,wegottastaythecouwseonthis.He’stestingus.Wejustgottatwy evenhardertomakeitwork.”
“Whyshouldwewistentoyou?It’syourfawthedidthistous,”Teri whined.
“Hewouldhavedoneitanyway.Thisishowhegetshisjowies.Hewikes topwaywithpeoplewiketheytoys.”
“Idon’twannabeatoy!”Jeriwailed.
“Youawweadyatoy,”Terisaid.
“Shutup!”
Sheribattedoneofherbraidsandgiggled.“Iwookpwetty.”
“Pwettyfat,”hersistersaid.Amomentlaterherbodyballooneduntilshe lookedfatterthanKariandSheriputtogether.Sheputbothhandsonherhuge gutandthenbegantobawl.“Idon’twannabefat!”
Hersistercameovertotakeherhand.“Youstiwpwetty.”Shetriedtogive Teriahugbutherarmscouldn’tgoaroundhersister’srotundframe.Thisonly promptedTeritocrymore.
Jeristaredatherself,asifwaitingforTaitotargether.“Iwannagohome,”
shewhimpered.“IwantMama!”