The Draig's Choice

by Lisa Dawn Wadler

  The hand that had covered her thigh and heated her silks, left as Conall rose and lifted his hands for quiet, a feat too easily achieved with all waiting for what came next.

  Conall welcomed all and offered his thanks to murmurs and nods. “The Bruce requires the strong arms of the Draig warriors. Who amongst you will join me to drive the English from our soil?”

  The cheers were low but each and every man stood as women grimaced, some clenched their eyes closed to prevent witnessing the horror. Weylin surveyed the sight and counted. “That should please Robert.” But Conall ignored him.

  “Your offers are taken and yet men must remain to guard our borders, protect our fields and keep those of the clan safe.” The standing men waited for the decision of who would go and who would remain.

  The cry of a small baby filled the air until Sarah caught sight of a young mother beginning to nurse the child. The warrior next to her reached over and ran a tender hand over the baby’s head. She knew Conall saw it when he spoke again. “Any man with a child under two years, sit down. Your sword arm will protect and care for the clan.”

  A handful of men sat while Weylin frowned.

  “Donald, who is nay ready for such a battle?” The trainer rose and told several of the teenage boys to sit while praising their efforts and promising to continue their training.

  Weylin glared at Conall with narrowed eyes. “Robert demands over seventy men.”

  “Then he will be denied,” Conall answered. His voice rose to those gathered. “The clan must be protected despite the Bruce’s wishes. Any man who is expecting a bairn, sit down.”

  Five more men sat, and a few choked sobs of relief filled the air. Conall spoke to Weylin and his companions. “Men awaiting a bairn will nay focus on battle, merely worry for their wives. Yet those same men would die to protect their families.”

  To Sarah’s counting, roughly thirty-plus men were told to sit after a few more rounds of questions, leaving over forty to ride with Conall.

  Conall nodded subtly at his brother and Evan rose to his feet. “Evan will join me as his presence has been requested. Together we will keep harm from our gates.” Cheers rose and yet whispers of concern filled the air at both Draig men leaving.

  Peter leaned close and whispered to her. “This will be the big finale.”

  Sarah rose as Conall’s hand took her hand in his, their fingers entwined together. His voice again filled the hall. “I leave you in the care of my wife, Sarah. Her wisdom, strength and heart shall care for the clan. You all stood witness to her receiving the mark of the clan’s savior and our wedding. The village can attest to her wisdom in judgments. Honor her and obey, kenning that she has my trust and love. As always, Peter remains to offer his guidance and wisdom earned through many years of service. Together, they will care for you until we return.”

  The concerns over whether or not she should address the gathering left her mind as Conall pulled her close and placed a soft kiss to her lips. For the first time all evening, cups banged on the table and solid cheers filled the air.

  Conall broke the kiss and faced the hall. “Weylin has concerns over leaving you to Sarah’s care. Does any man share those fears? Do any believe her too weak to lead and command?”

  One of the men rose. “I stood in the hall as your wife took down an armed man with nay a weapon.” A blush crept over her cheeks as she recalled he had been present when she had rushed Gordain. “My sword is hers.” The other warriors to remain behind rose to their feet and echoed his sentiments. “We need only Draig leading the Draig. Sarah is one of us. And Peter served in your father’s place and served well. We honor only our own.”

  The underlying message had been delivered. Weylin wasn’t welcome and his face soured as he realized it.

  I wonder if he had planned on staying.

  Conall stood pleased and winked at her. “The Bruce has asked for silver to aid in his fight and all ken of our wealth.” Conall gave a measurement she didn’t follow, but then he surprised even Weylin. “While we dinna have enough swords to please the Bruce, wealth is ours to share. The Draig clan will double the request.”

  Cheer rang out and cups banged as Weylin paled. Conall sat with a wicked grin and pulled her against his side. He whispered into her ear, “Favor is fickle but I ken how to earn mine back.”

  Sarah grinned and leaned against him, savoring his warmth and the hand that wandered up her back to tangle in the curls at her neck. The men with families came to their table and asked permission to leave. Conall told all to stay or return home as they saw fit.

  Peter leaned over to whisper in her ear. “Well done. Get him out of here.”

  Sarah lifted her head and ran her fingers over his neck. “Can we leave now?” Not caring that she interrupted Weylin.

  Conall rose and pulled her to his feet while Weylin complained they weren’t done. “We are done and have many days ahead of us. Say what you would then. I will see you at dawn. Be ready to ride.”

  With her hand wrapped in his, they passed through those who remained and while Conall spoke to many, she only focused on him and keeping it together for a few more minutes. Bella followed at her heels and accepted every pat offered. I envy the dog, she has no clue at how much our world is about to change.

  When they reached the stairs, Conall stopped and faced the hall, clearly soaking in the aroma and sounds of home.

  “Make your da proud.” The call came from the far side and Sarah braced her body for what would follow.

  In a flash, she was hauled over his shoulder, but without her normal laughter. Cheers rang but lacked levity. The show must go on and they all knew it. Even Bella merely trotted ahead of them without any barking or jumping. Maybe the dog does know.

  She reached out to close their door before her feet were placed on the ground. She heard the dog settle and struggled for composure that had fled with no audience to appease. Staring at his neck, her lips trembled as she gave into the loss.

  Warm fingers stroked her cheek. “You were so fine in the hall.”

  Nodding as her eyes closed, she fell against him as his arms wrapped around her with one hand on her back and the other forever tangled in her hair. They stood locked in silence and she felt the tears form and stream through her closed eyes.

  “Aye, sweet Sarah. ‘Tis fine, let it out,” Conall whispered against her hair.

  She sobbed and clung to him, unable to give voice to her fears and love when they tangled together. But like all storms, it slowed, then passed, leaving her spent against him. When she lifted her face, wretched eyes greeted hers.

  She inhaled a shaky breath and fought for the illusion of composure to speak. “I know that I once told you that one night could never make up for many.” He nodded and wiped away the remaining tears. “I want you to prove me wrong.”

  His lips twitched in a grin that failed to light his eyes. “Aye, sweet Sarah.” Then his mouth brushed against hers.

  Chapter 30

  Conall ran his hands over her back and inhaled her scent, certain nothing had ever been so sweet. Sarah’s exhausted arms barely clung to his neck, her cheek resting against his shoulder. Legs dotted with those enticing freckles were still wrapped around his waist and he had yet to leave her body, savoring the last of the lovemaking that had filled the too-short night.

  Without facing the window, he could feel the dawn’s approach that would take him away from her, from his wife. Yet, neither had slept. Loving had changed to talk and whispers, which had led to more loving. He had prayed for the night to last forever, even knowing he was a fool.

  Kissing her temple, one of his favorite places, he attempted to separate them, only to have her fight against it. “Not yet,” she whispered. “Just a little bit more.”

  He stayed exactly as they had been, locked together as complete as any man and woman ever could. He felt her lips move over his shoulder as her head rose to rest against his.

  “I have something I want to tell you.” Her soft voice rei
gned over him and he waited with a small smile, certain he knew her thoughts.

  “I think I may be with child.”

  Tightening his hold, he squeezed his eyes shut at her fulfilling his foolish request and loved her more for honoring it. “Aye?”

  He felt her nod and more tears hit his shoulder. “I mean, it’s really early, but. . .” Her words ended on a choked sob.

  Falling back onto the bed, he rolled so they faced one another, even if she failed to look at him. “Such news ‘tis the best I could ever hope to hear. A bairn, between us, aye, Sarah.” While they had avoided his leaving for several blissful days, reality had come back and his request only hurt them both. “See me.”

  Her eyes blinked open and her pain cut through his heart. “‘Tis how you would tell me if you kenned for certain?” The game had ended.

  She nodded but remained silent.

  “My thanks for humoring me, but I ken ‘tis too soon. But I will leave with hope strong in my heart. I would have a family with you.” His eyes burned and then he let the few tears fall, not caring if weakness brought them. He should not be leaving her, not ever. I have found what every man seeks and am forced to leave it all behind.

  Her gentle fingers ran over his cheek. “I don’t want it without you.” Accepting her soft kiss, the shake of her head confused him. “These things take time, months, even years to happen.”

  “Aye, I ken it.” He said the right words even if he hated their truth. His return remained an unknown. Leaving an heir would provide security for the clan. But the thought of never knowing his child left him as hollow as the thought of never being with Sarah again. “But I will ride out picturing your belly rounding with child upon my return.”

  What he had meant as lighthearted had the fingers on his face stilling. “How long?” Sarah’s question deserved to be answered, yet a great chasm of unknown spread between them.

  Brushing the hair from her face, he tucked a piece of the fiery curls behind her ear. “I dinna ken, but my da always returned home for the harvest.” Letting his hopes speak, he added, “My vow to return to Robert was nay given for longer than the summer. I hope to return to stay, nay to spend years away.”

  Sarah’s eyes widened. “You could be gone for years?”

  “Nay,” Conall whispered, while keeping her from moving away from him. “I merely state that I have no intent on serving as I have in the past. These lands are my home and my responsibility. I have a loving wife awaiting my return and if needed, I plan to work day and night to ensure a bairn to fill her arms.”

  Again, his attempt at humor failed as her head turned away and settled on the pillow. He felt her stiffen as she caught sight of the first signs of pale light. “I don’t want you to go.” The body that had pulled away quickly pressed against him, pulling him close.

  “I would stay with you if I could. Tell me you will be here awaiting me. I would feel you as I ride in.” Conall knew his skin would cease to tingle as he left his ancestral lands and loathed how empty he would feel. Only the thought of returning to the certainty of Sarah gave him strength.

  “Where would I go?” She chuckled against his skin, but he also felt more wetness from tears that once again fell. “I’ll be here so you had better come back soon. Patience is not one of my virtues.”

  Holding her close, he clung to her hair and his free hand gripped her back. Sounds of life stirring in the courtyard flitted in through the window and called out to summon him back to duty. “Stay in bed. I would have my last sight of you being your hair gracing my pillows and your bare form calling to me.”

  His kiss fell on trembling lips that could barely return the affection. “No way. I’ll be with you until the last possible second.” Her hand led his lips back to hers and he forced himself to only return the sweetness and not ask for more.

  “I would say farewell here,” Conall suggested.

  Sarah’s head shook and denied him. “Not yet, please.” Her forehead touched his. “Tell me you will do whatever you need to do to survive. Tell me that you will come back to me.”

  From the moment they had met, he had been honest with her and yet for the first time, he consciously lied. “I will come back to you. I love you.”

  Gripping his hair, her choked words filled his heart. “I love you so much. Come home to me.”

  With a soft but far too brief kiss, her hands fell away and he rose from the bed. “Stay in the bed. Let my vision be filled with you.” Conall knew his request would only be partially met as he rose to dress. While Sarah lay still, she would join him in the courtyard likely seconds after him. But he adored her willingness to appease him.

  Haunted blue eyes followed his steps to the door. With packed saddlebags in hand, he soaked in the image of her bare body tangled in the bedding and the disarray of red curls. Summoning all his strength, he opened the door and paused only long enough to allow Bella a quick exit. Then he turned away from his wife and forced his feet to the stairs.

  Sarah entered the courtyard teeming with bustling activity. Horses were being readied, weapons and gear stowed as warriors held and soothed their wives and children. Heartache and concern filled the air and offered a visual representation to what went on in her head.

  Easily spying Conall due to his height and raven-dark hair, she forced her feet toward the other Draig man, Evan. His hands ceased fussing with the already secured saddlebag as he faced her. His bright green eyes held a mix of excitement and dread, which she deemed completely appropriate given the situation.

  “Have you come to wish me safe travels?” Evan’s attempt at light banter failed with trepidation lacing his voice.

  “Partly, but I have more to say and need you to listen very carefully. Can you do that?” Only when she had complete eye contact, did she continue. “Conall is going to do everything possible to keep you safe. I, we need you to do whatever he tells you to even if it sounds foolish. Promise me that you will listen and do what you are told.” Sarah waited while Evan soaked in her dictate. They had discussed Evan’s well-being even as Conall had ignored her pleas for staying out of the thick of battle. As if he has a choice. . .

  The arguments not spoken showed in his eyes: concerns over being treated as a child, a need to prove his worth and whatever other nonsense floated around in a young man’s head before going off to war. Finally, he nodded. “Aye, Sarah. I will obey.”

  “Good, because I need you to come home.” Sarah reached out and pulled Evan in for a hug. “Be careful and keep an eye on him for me.”

  Squeezing her tightly, Evan agreed. “I will watch his back, ‘tis a lesson learned from our ancestors.”

  Pulling away, she attempted to smile, but knew it likely showed as a grimace. Then she made her way through the crowd until she reached Conall’s horse. Her hand lifted the saddlebag flap and tucked in the folded parchment that sheltered a cut lock of her hair tied with yarn.

  While the gift seemed silly, it had been the only thought she had for a token to send with him. The note had been brief, echoing words she had uttered throughout the night.

  Come home to me. I love you.

  If there were more to express, written words had failed her, leaving only simplicity.

  “You double-checked my supplies last eve,” Conall murmured against her hair with his arms banding around her from behind.

  Tracing her finger over his hand, she noted the texture of his skin, each tiny crease within the back of his hand along with how being physically close to him made her world complete. She forced the pain at him leaving down her throat before turning within his arms to rest her head over the soothing thud-thud of his heart. “Come home to me.” Again, she whispered and again Conall ran his hands over her hair.

  “Aye.” Lips pressed against the top of her head. “Be here waiting for me.”

  Feeling the shift in the air, Sarah attempted to soak in and absorb a myriad of sensations. She inhaled his scent while listening to his heartbeat. Her arms tightened around him while her ha
nds felt the muscular ridges of his shoulders. Lips burrowed within the open laces of his shirt to taste the salt of his skin. Each sensory input was uniquely Conall, and yet each one failed to fill her heart that only wanted the real man to stay with her.

  Yet, Sarah was the first to pull back. Conall cupped her cheeks as his gaze bore into hers that threatened to once again fill with tears. “I kenned leaving you would be hard, but nay that my soul would ache so.”

  My Conall, the gifted poet.

  “Be careful.” What else would a worried wife say to her husband before battle? Sarah heard the two words come from almost every wife whispering goodbyes to their husbands. “I love you, you know that. Please tell me you know that.”

  Conall pressed his mouth to hers, forcing a stifled whimper. I ken we share love and that we would have a lifetime together.”

  “We will have a lifetime together,” Sarah practically snapped back. “You will come home to me for the harvest and we will have our future.” Frantically searching his eyes, she caught his weak nod that didn’t chase away the uncertainty.

  Sarah felt the grip on her mussed curls lessen, leaving her heart to careen wildly in her chest. She wanted to scream at him, to fall to her knees and beg him not to leave. But instead, she moved back two steps to give him room to mount.

  In seconds, Evan was at his side and she felt Peter at hers. Bella pranced as if everyone gathered only to take her on a run. Clearly, Peter held the only thoughts for all possibilities as he tied a rope to her collar and held the dog in a heel.

  “Be careful, both of you. Sarah and I will take care of everything here, so you two take care of each other.” Peter wiped the back of his hand over his eyes. “I love you both.”

  The two brothers returned the affection, but only Evan followed when the others began to ride out of the gates.

  Conall stared down at her. “I will always love you.”

  Sarah shook her head and pointed a finger at him. “Don’t even try to sneak in a final goodbye. We aren’t going there. You will come back to me.”