She knew it was a bit of a coup to get this client herself - to be honest, she had expected one of the others to fight harder for it (despite being good friends, they also all had ruthless streaks when it came to their careers; without them, they would not have made it so far nor so fast in such a male dominated world), and had been over the moon to get this client for herself. It would be one to make the newspapers - one that she hoped to win, for the coverage of ‘Shirley Jones, successful lawyer to the stars’ would be thrilling to see in print. She imagined how proud her mum would be. She was proud, of course, that her daughter was a lawyer - but being in a newspaper, linked with a soap star that mum was bound to have heard of, now that would really make mum glow. Since dad had walked out on her ten years previously, Lee always aimed to do things that would make her mum happy.
“I think it’s a bit late for that,” Gemma said. “I’m fairly sure that’s him coming up the road!”
“Stall!” Lee shouted, dashing into her office and closing the door. She opened her emergency bottom filing cabinet drawer and took out a hair brush to make her hair look slightly less bedraggled, and some super glue. She fixed the heel as best as she could, hearing her colleagues talking slightly too loudly on the other side of the door as they tried to detain the newest of their clients. She squeezed them together with all her strength, hoping that the few precious seconds would be enough for them to hold her weight. Perhaps she could pretend her office had a standard no-shoe policy… but no, it sounded ridiculous even as she thought it.
Hearing footsteps approaching her door, she threw the spare shoes, super glue and hairbrush back into the cabinet drawer, slammed it shut and slipped the hopefully now fixed heels back on. She held her breath as she slowly walked towards the door, teetering slightly - but magically, they held. Now, she thought, all she needed to do was stand on them long enough until it was acceptable to invite him to sit. Then that would surely give the glue time to dry.
She opened the door to find her colleagues and Brandon stood on the other side, ready to knock.
“Ah, Lee,” Gemma said, clearly pleased that Lee was looking a little more put together than when she’d run in five minutes previously. “This is Brandon Moore. Brandon, meet Lee Jones, your new lawyer!”
Lee put out her hand to shake his; he was wearing a deep blue suit with a matching tie, and had slightly wavy, dark brown hair that fell into his eyes. She remembered from the notes that he was 41, and of course he was divorced. They’d been co-parenting fairly successfully until his ex had decided to marry - and now they were embroiled in a bitter custody battle.
She realised a few moments into her thoughts that she still hadn’t shaken his hand - and he still hadn’t extended it. She lowered her hand and looked at him, slightly confused.
“You’re Lee Jones?”
“At your service,” Lee said, with a slightly awkward smile. She could feel the broken heel wobbling beneath her foot. She hadn’t planned to stand for this long on it.
“Lee Jones, partner of this firm?”
This was just strange now. “Yes…”
And still Brandon did not offer to shake her hand. Instead, he took his phone from his back pocket and walked away.
Lee looked at Gemma, then Tania - and they all looked as nonplussed as she did. Tania shrugged, and the three followed him out to the lobby.
“Lee Jones is a woman,” Brandon said into the handset. “I told you, I wanted a male lawyer. I’ve had enough of women.”
Lee’s eyes widened in shock as she heard these words. He wouldn’t work with her because she was female?!
Gemma and Tania’s faces told the same story - shock, irritation and anger.
“Get me another lawyer. Now.” He hit the hang up button harder than necessary and whirled round to face the three women. He had the presence of mind to at least look apologetic.
“Sorry, ladies. But the name - it threw me. I need a male lawyer - so this is not going to work out.”
And with that, he walked out of the door - and he’d never even shaken Lee’s hand.
“Is he fricking kidding me?” Gemma was the first to speak. “What century are we in?”
Lee stood, dumbfounded, seeing this opportunity pouring down the drain. Perhaps, she pondered, that was why there had been no arguments about who would get the case - he’d asked for Lee.
Because he’d thought she was a man.
What a crappy day - and it was only nine in the morning.
***
They discussed this development over coffees in Lee’s office for nearly an hour, agreeing that the man was clearly a misogynist, and reassuring Lee that it had nothing to do with her professional capabilities. And she knew that, she really did - but it didn’t mean that she didn’t feel a crushing disappointment. In this day and age, none of them could believe that a man could walk away from a good lawyer simply because she was a woman - but that was clearly what had happened, and it hurt. Besides, this had been their big opportunity, a way to build up their modestly sized law firm into something bigger. They were doing well - it wasn’t like this would be the end of them - but it had been a chance for something more. And now it was dashed in mere moments.
“Right,” Tania said, downing the end of her coffee. “We’d best get back to work. Plenty of non-celebrity, non-sexist clients to do work for.”
“At least we won’t have to work late every night this week, I guess,” Gemma said. “My husband will be pleased, at least.”
“Mmm,” Lee agreed, still feeling annoyance at Brandon’s treatment of her in the back of her mind. As her colleagues left the office she began to file some paperwork, and started to prepare for a small case that she was taking to court the following week. She was fairly confident she would win it - and once she’d finished that paperwork she found she had little left to do. She had cleared most of her paperwork in preparation for this new case; again she felt annoyance burn through her at the wasted hours she’d put in prepping. If the man had just bothered to search for her online, he would have known that she was a woman. Not that that should have stopped him from hiring her.
After putting in a couple of calls to potential clients, and checking in with her colleagues, it was almost four o’clock, and she decided for once to leave early. It had been a crappy enough day as it was, she thought - might as well turn it into some sort of positive and get a full evening at home. Besides, Nathan was on nights, which meant that if she were quick she would get an hour or so with him before he headed out to work. Perhaps reconnect a little - something he had been too tired for the night before.
She’d given up with the heels by lunchtime; unfortunately, she thought they were probably a lost cause, and so she was back in the flats that did not match her outfit in the slightest. And actually, she didn’t care - she couldn’t wait to get home, get out of her stupid power outfit and snuggle up in her pyjamas. In fact, one of the Christmas films that Nathan would roll his eyes at was definitely on the cards.
“See you tomorrow,” she shouted down the hallway, and Gemma and Tania replied with their goodbyes - as it hadn’t been their case, their workloads hadn’t massively altered. Lee glanced back as she opened the front door, feeling a little guilty - but then she pushed that feeling to one side. She never left early and - aside from this morning - was never late. She could take this one early finish for herself. It would wash away her anger at the events of the day and allow her to start again fresh tomorrow, ready to start chasing another big client for the firm.
Running a little because of the never-ending rain, she stepped into the taxi that was waiting outside. This was a luxury she didn’t often allow herself - despite decent salaries, Lee was at heart a saver, not a spender - but today she had totally had enough of public transport. Besides, she convinced herself, it was worth the cost to get home in time to see her husband before he left for work. She couldn’t remember the last time she had seen him before he went out on a night shift.
The taxi driver w
as chatty, and so they spent the short journey discussing the weather, the Banksy they passed and the food festival starting the following weekend. She was pleased, when they pulled up, that there were lights on in the house. Good, she thought, he’s not left early. Lee paid for the taxi and, wishing she had thought to bring an umbrella that morning, headed up the slippery path to their front door.
Lee slipped her key into the lock and as she did, felt the usual sense of calm that their house brought over her - despite the bad day. She slid off her shoes by the door; normally this was to stop her heels scratching the exposed wooden floors, but she didn’t really need to worry about that with her current footwear. Still, she took them off, and glanced into the living room and then the kitchen to see if Nathan was around. She called his name but there was no answer; presuming he was in the shower, she padded around downstairs for a few moments, checking the mail, listening to the answer machine and flicking the kettle on, ready for a nice cup of tea.
When Nathan didn’t appear after she’d completed these tasks, she started up the stairs to find him. Perhaps, she thought, she could join him in the shower… That would surely bring some intimacy back. She wasn’t sure why, but his rebuffing of her the previous week was bothering her more that she let on. She knew she shouldn’t let it; it wasn’t like there had never been nights where he had wanted to and it had been Lee who was too tired, or stressed, or had a headache. But still, it bothered her.
The bedroom door was closed, which was in itself unusual, and jarred her slightly. Nathan was generally quite claustrophobic, and it meant he rarely shut doors if he were in a room by himself - and even when they slept, he liked to have the door slightly ajar.
It was as Lee’s hand touched the handle that she heard it: a voice. A woman’s voice.
Heart racing, brain whirring trying to come up with twenty-five different, innocent explanations for the sound of a woman’s voice in her bedroom, Lee dipped the handle down and slowly pushed open the door.
“Oh Nate…” That was the first thing she heard when she walked in, but she almost didn’t hear it; what she was seeing was enough to block her senses and make her head scream for her to retreat.
Masses of blonde, curly hair. Smooth, white skin against dark skin. A red and black lacy bra.
The sight of a woman riding her husband.
For a second she was silent, trying to think of something to say, something to do - because this surely was not happening. Surely, surely she wasn’t seeing her husband with another woman. They had not seemed to notice her entrance, and so she decided to make them aware of it, by slamming the bedroom door behind her.
She stood there, in front of that pure white door, as the pictures on the wall shook slightly and all activity on the bed ceased.
“Shit. Lee, I-” But Nathan Jones didn’t really have any words. What could he say? That it wasn’t what it looked like? Of course it was. That was plain to see.
The blonde didn’t turn round and face Lee; instead she extricated herself from compromising position, taking the duvet with her, so it was Nathan who lay there fully exposed. Without a word, she wrapped the duvet around her young, pert, naked body and slid into the en-suite, locking the door behind her.
Lee wanted to scream. She wanted to cry. She wanted to throw things. But she just stood there, looking at the naked man who had torn her heart to shreds.
Nathan scrambled for his boxers and a t-shirt, pulling them on without speaking. Perhaps he thought it was better if he were dressed before he defended himself; Lee didn’t think there could possibly be any way to make this better. A small part in the back of her brain was proud of her, for not bursting into tears; she felt a cold, icy wave run through her brain as she stood, calm, poised, ready to hear his excuses.
She wanted to throw up.
Unable to bear the thought of that woman in the en-suite, Lee left the room, leaving the door open for Nathan to follow her downstairs. She desperately wanted to pour herself a glass of wine, but thought that she needed a clear head; thought that she may well need to drive later that night. Instead she settled for that cup of tea she’d been looking forward to all the way home.
“Lee…” Nathan’s voice entered the room before she saw him. She couldn’t look him in the eye; instead she focussed on the other details. Tousled hair, freshly shaved face, crumpled clothing. No, that wasn’t any better than that look in his eye.
“How long have you been cheating on me?” Lee asked, concentrating on keeping her voice steady. After all, she was a barrister; she’d had practice at interrogating, as well as defending.
But there was no defence here.
“Lee, it’s not like that, it’s not some big thing, I promise…”
“Not a big thing? You’re shagging some blonde in our bed, Nathan. And we’re married. You have cheated on me. How long has it gone on for?”
She met his eye now, and watched him squirm and look away. She felt like her whole life was laid out in front of her, nothing quite what it seemed. For no matter how disconnected they sometimes felt, or how many hours they both worked, Lee had always felt their marriage was strong. Stable. Able to withstand their careers and their busy lives.
Obviously she had been mistaken.
“A few months,” Nathan eventually admitted.
Shock hit Lee like a train.
“Months?” she eventually whispered. “In… in our home? In our bed?” She could feel her calm crumbling, and all of a sudden the sense of peace she found in their home was dissolving around her. It had been poisoned by what he’d done.
“I’m sorry, Lee,” he said, putting his head in his hands and taking a deep breath. “I’m not in love with her, I promise. It’s just…”
“Sex?” Lee finished, and he nodded.
“Why?” She couldn’t ask a more detailed question - didn’t trust herself to get the words out without faltering, without tears.
“I was stressed… we weren’t having sex…”
Of course. This was bound to be put back on to her, she thought. Bound to be her fault.
“It just happened one evening. At work. And then…” She looked at him, this man she had loved for so many years, and for the first time ever thought he looked weak.
Lee took a seat on one of the bar stools that surrounded their marble kitchen island - something she remembered being delighted with when it was fitted - and cradled the mug of hot tea in her hands.
“I’m sorry, Lee. It won’t happen again…” Nathan said.
“It won’t happen again? Nathan, you have ripped apart the trust of our relationship, you have destroyed a five year relationship. And you think you can say sorry and ‘it won’t happen again’ and everything’s suddenly fine? Have you lost your mind?” She was shouting now, and she knew it - but she didn’t care. His blasé attitude towards the magnitude of his crime was making her furious.
Down the hall, the front door clicked closed, more loudly perhaps than had been intended. Clearly the blonde had left the building.
“Who is she?” Lee asked.
“Just another doctor from work,” Nathan said standing awkwardly opposite Lee. At least he was being honest, she thought.
“And is she the only one?”
There was a pause. A pause that was pregnant with so many assumptions.
“Is she the only one?” Lee asked again through gritted teeth - but his pause had been enough to answer her question.
“There was one night… with a nurse. A year ago.” Lee wondered if telling her was making him feel better, assuaging his guilt in some way. He didn’t deserve to feel better. She wondered if he knew the agony she was feeling in this moment.
And still she stopped herself from crying.
“A year ago…” It wasn’t a question; no, it was simply an acknowledgement that their relationship had obviously been broken for a lot longer than she had realised. Irreparably so, perhaps.
“Lee, there’s been so many nights where I haven’t seen you, where I’
ve left for work long before you come home… and I was weak, and I gave in to that, and I know that was wrong.”
“So how can you say it won’t happen again?” Lee asked.
“Because I love you.” He grabbed hold of her hand and she didn’t instantly pull away. There was that familiar warmth; that feeling of being close to someone who you knew inside and out.
Except she didn’t. She would never have imagined he would cheat on her - with two different people, on multiple occasions. That would not have even crossed her mind.
“I don’t want to lose you Lee - I know I’ve done something stupid, but if you can forgive me I will do anything I can to make it up to you.”
Lee took a deep breath and didn’t speak for a few moments, letting her brain whir and process all these things he was saying.
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