Lee took her time, wandering slowly past pretty window displays and a group of people protesting the opening of a large chain coffee shop. A little bemused, she took a leaflet, thinking it was something she could read with her lunch - after all, she had no phone to read, and no company.
It was the bright green shutters that caught her eye; an emerald green really with rose covered curtains behind them. Outside were wooden tables and chairs in various shades of green and blue; inside she could see a stand of mouth-watering looking cakes and another five or six tables. Suddenly her stomach growled, and that peckish feeling turned in to full on hangover hunger. Just like the rest of her actions that day, she didn’t think - she just walked in.
“Take a seat dear, I’ll be right over,” the small, grey haired lady behind the counter said. Lee rustled up a smile and chose a table in the window, next to those flowered curtains, where she could look out and see the world passing her by.
“Here’s a menu, breakfast is served for another half an hour,” the lady announced. “Can I get you a drink?”
“Tea, please,” Lee said, perusing the menu and trying to decide what she fancied.
As she did so, she let her mind wander a little, hearing all the sounds of the café around her. The steam from the coffee machine; the buzz from the fridge; the chatter between the waitress and her next customer.
“I’ll miss you, Val, you know that,” the customer was saying.
“Oh give over. You’ll forget all about me as soon as someone else takes over.”
“But what if they don’t! You’re the best in town, and you know that. Besides, if it closes down permanently I’ll never make it to one of those places at the top of the hill, not with my knee.”
“Totnes is as busy as ever, Ethel. I’m absolutely positive someone will come and take over the lease. It was only advertised a couple of weeks ago, you’ve got to give it time!”
Lee let their voices swim in an out of their mind, finding that their accents were quite strong and different to what she was used to hearing. She decided to have the pancakes for her breakfast, and they arrived quickly, along with her tea. There seemed to be no rush to leave; no-one was waiting for her table, and she found herself feeling a little sleepy after her lack of sleep and now with a full stomach.
She pulled out the leaflet and began to scan it as the waitress cleared up around her. “Keep Totnes independent,” it read. “No to tax dodgers.” “Keep shopping local!” One thing was for certain, Lee thought - this town certainly had personality.
***
It was half an hour later before Lee stood at the bottom of the high street and looked up the steep hill of shops. Christmas lights had been hung, although she presumed they hadn’t been lit yet, but were just waiting for the festive season to truly begin. Clothes, she thought - no matter what happened, she needed some clean underwear and a fresh top before she headed back to Bristol. She also thought she should plug her phone in and tell work she was still ill - there would be no law work for her tomorrow.
“Excuse me,” a sudden voice came from behind her. “Excuse me. Blind workshop coming through.” Blind workshop? Lee jumped out the way, sure she’d heard wrong. Four people followed a guide, and each of them wore a black blindfold and held their hands in front of them. Lee shook her head slightly, wondering if she were imagining things - but no, this was really happening. For a fraction of a second she turned to her right, about to look at Nathan in disbelief, before she remembered she was here alone.
Rooms available tonight! A sign said in the window of the opposite pub. And, just like the rest of her decisions today, her mind was made for her - she would spend the night in this quirky little town, buy some clothes, have some dinner, and head back home tomorrow. It was just what she needed to get her mind in order before she went home to sort her affairs - or, should she say, her husband’s affairs.
The small pub had two single rooms and two doubles available immediately, and Lee decided to splash out on the double, despite being alone - might as well enjoy her night of freedom. She was pleased to find it was clean, equipped with a small en-suite and tea and coffee making facilities. She glanced at the sixties style analogue clock above the door - 11am. She had the whole day ahead of her. The crisp, white sheets caught her eye, and she decided to do something she’d not done since she was a student in her second year of university; she decided to have a nap. Closing the thick curtains to block out the light, and plugging in her phone (although not bothering to switch it on), Lee slipped between the sheets fully clothed for the second time that day and let her eyes flutter closed. It was gone three in the afternoon before she began to stir.
***
For a second when her eyes opened, Lee didn’t remember where she was. Momentarily she thought she was in her Clifton house, asleep under her thick duvet beneath the exposed beams. Then she realised that, while there were exposed beams above her, they were much darker - and this definitely wasn’t her home. It hit her then, like a truck - the betrayal, her life in ruins around her, her mad actions leading her to sleeping in the daytime in a B&B above a pub. She groaned into the pillow and asked herself - not for the first time that day - what she was doing.
As she crawled out of bed feeling a little better for the long nap, Lee caught sight of herself in the mirror. She was pleased the shops would still be open - she had to get some clean clothes, and a hairbrush. Oh, and some food, she thought, as her stomach grumbled noisily.
As a concession to all the things she didn’t have, Lee brushed her teeth with the toothbrush she had picked up in the petrol station and waited for her phone to load now that it was fully charged. As soon as it had turned on, it began to buzz like an angry wasp as missed calls and messages flooded in. Taking a deep breath, Lee threw it into her bag, determined to get to the shops before they closed, and vowed to face the messages over dinner.
It was amazing, she thought to herself as she started up that steep high street and stopped in a fairly cheap clothes shop, the things you needed that you never really thought about. Underwear. Pyjamas. Toothpaste. Clean clothes. A hairbrush. Things that were normally just to hand - and yet now she had to buy from scratch, because she’d left it all behind. It almost seemed wasteful, really, to buy these new things for one night - but this was the second night she’d been away from home, and she couldn’t cope any longer. Besides - it wasn’t as though she didn’t have the savings.
After treating herself to some delicious smelling fudge from a shop where you could see it being made in the window, and the essential shopping trip, Lee decided to call it a night and have some dinner. It was emotionally draining keeping that large raincloud from over her head; avoiding that one topic from pervading her thoughts.
It was probably the earliest she had eaten dinner in years - and the first time she could remember eating dinner out alone. Even though it was only half past five, it was pitch black outside and the small restaurant had candles lit at every table. Lee waited until after she’d ordered to face the music and see the message she had been shielding herself from all day.
Two texts from Beth - she could cope with those.
You left without saying goodbye! Hope you’re okay. X
Lee, mum knows you’re not at home - please let her (and me!) know you’re okay to save my sanity. X
Ah, Lee thought. Perhaps Nathan had been in touch with mum? Or maybe mum had phoned home. She presumed at least one of the five voicemails was from her mother - but she couldn’t face them just yet. Instead she sent a joint text to both Beth and her mum.
I’m fine - spending a night in Devon. Not too specific, she thought - nothing that could get back to Nathan. Ring soon. L x
The next text was from Tania.
Feeling any better? X
Now that, unfortunately, needed to be dealt with directly. She thought the best way was to be honest because - to be totally truthful, she didn’t think she could face going in tomorrow or the day after. In fact, right now she fe
lt a little shaky, felt as though something was buzzing in her head. She felt as though if she went back to her everyday life she would simply cry. Or scream. Or possibly both. And she needed to feel in control of that before she stepped foot back in the office.
I’m really sorry, but I need the week off, she wrote, copying in both Tania and Gemma. She knew it would provoke phone calls; she also knew she couldn’t face answering them. I walked in on Nathan cheating on me and I need to get my head together. Speak soon. Lee x
As she hit send, she couldn’t believe she had really put it into words. It felt so real… so final.
But it was real. And it was final. Furiously rubbing away the tears that were falling from her eyes, she knew that was something she needed to accept.
Change was just so damn hard.
Chapter 5
Despite the much-needed nap, Lee didn’t find it hard to sleep that night. After a nice solo meal - in which she ignored the messages building up on her phone and instead started a second hand mystery novel she’d picked up in the charity shop - Lee had treated herself to a large glass of wine from the pub she was staying above, had a soak in the bath, changed into her brand new, clean pyjamas and snuggled in to watch some television.
It had been a while since she’d sat and watched television without having some plan of what she was watching. She and Nathan had been so busy that if there was anything they wanted to watch it needed to be planned in - recorded or watched on demand; very, very rarely when it was originally broadcast. But now she found herself with the most elusive of things: time. Something she hadn’t had the luxury of for a long time - and which she was going to take advantage of now. She had this night - and then she would need to drive back to Bristol, find somewhere new to live, look into a divorce, start her whole life afresh.
For now, however, she enjoyed mindlessly watching whatever came on the television. The large glass of white wine had a soporific effect, and along with the slightly monotonous voice of the presenter on whatever TV show it was she was watching, it wasn’t long before she was lulled into the most peaceful and dreamless sleep she’d had in a long time.
***
Breakfast, she decided (having put on the new clothes she had bought yesterday and packed up her few meagre belongings, ready for check out at 1pm) had to be at the little café she had eaten at the day before. The food had been delicious, and she could people watch as much as she wanted from that little table in the window.
“Good morning dear!” It was the same woman who had served Lee the day before, and she obviously recognised the repeat customer. “Are you new to the area?”
Lee smiled; “Only visiting, I’m afraid. It’s lovely here, isn’t it!”
“Oh, I wouldn’t live anywhere else than Totnes,” the grey haired lady told her, passing her a menu and setting out some cutlery. “It’s got its quirks, that’s for sure, but I’ve never felt more at home anywhere. Now, dear, can I get you some tea?”
“Yes, thanks.” Lee watched a young family come in and take a seat as she perused the menu; mum, dad, young boy and baby girl. She had to look away; the scene made her heart ache a little. Something that had seemed on the horizon; something that had been pushed even further into the distance.
She had wasted the best years of her life on Nathan; and now he’d screwed her over royally.
“How long have you worked here?” she asked the waitress conversationally as she took her order.
“Worked here, and run the place, for ten years. All coming to an end soon though - I’m retiring you see. I’m leaving next month, presuming I can find someone to take the lease. That’s why everyone’s out there protesting - there’s been a lot of interest from a massive coffee chain. Not the sort of thing we want here, really - we like to keep it local.” There was a slightly pained look on her face. “I don’t want to sell them the lease but… I’m getting on a bit, if truth be told, my hips aren’t what they used to be and I just can’t keep working the hours I am.”
Lee felt for her; she was clearly torn between loyalty and her need for a bit of rest and relaxation.
The conversation continued to play on her mind as she ate her full English breakfast, and as she wandered up the steep high street, getting her steps in for the day and perusing the weekly market stalls. She saw beautiful carved wooden spoons that she thought would go perfectly in her marble kitchen - and then promptly remembered that it wasn’t her kitchen anymore. Even if she got him out of the house, she didn’t think she could ever feel the same about it again - not after seeing him in their bed with that woman…
She passed a brightly coloured scarf - black with multi coloured paint splats printed all over it - which caught her eye. Immediately she moved on, thinking how strange it was that she’d even stopped - it was so not her. And then she thought: What is me? Promptly, she turned round and bought the scarf, deciding to make it the beginning of whatever leaf she was turning over.
And that really would have been it: a new scarf, a few new cheap clothes and an impromptu night away in Totnes. It would have been, had she not seen the sign that would change at least the next few weeks of her life in the most strange and wonderful ways.
Flatmate wanted IMMEDIATELY due to let down and rent needing paying! Laid back twenty-something female, fairly neat and tidy, fan of early nights and cups of tea. One well behaved (usually!) cat, five minute walk into town. Call Totnes 554321. Gina
It spoke to Lee like nothing she had ever read before. This Gina sounded so informal, so free and easy - and she needed someone to live with her. And Lee needed somewhere to live. Never mind that she worked in Bristol, never mind that she had a life and a shambles of a marriage and a mother and a sister that she needed to go and deal with. Lee Jones, for one of the first times in her life, threw caution to the wind and made a truly spontaneous and more than slightly crazy decision. She found the dialling code for Totnes, and she dialled that number…
Chapter 6
It had all happened in rather a whirlwind. After ringing Gina and finding out the room was still available, she went to see it and to meet this Gina (to make sure she wasn’t some kind of axe murderer, and vice versa she presumed.) Gina was a couple of years younger than Lee, with red hair that looked too bright to be wholly natural and a nose ring. She was as laid back as Lee had thought she sounded - as was the flat. The room for rent was fairly plain, although it did have a double bed and wardrobe in it. The rest of the flat was decorated in brighter colours, with beaded curtains hanging in every door and brightly coloured throws on the sofa and arm chair. The mostly well behaved cat sat curled up on the arm of the sofa, and purred happily when Lee stroked it.
It was so different than anywhere Lee had ever lived; it had so much personality. She immediately loved it.
“When can you move in?” Gina asked, ten minutes after meeting her; she had obviously passed whatever test meeting her had provided.
A little nervously, Lee bit her fingernails on her left hand and tried to work out what on earth her plan was. She guessed there hadn’t really been a plan; she’d seen the sign, rung, come round - and here she was. Was she really going to stay in this little town for any length of time? What about work?
Work, she had reasoned on the way over, could actually wait. She wanted to make herself happy for once - and this little town made her happy, or so it seemed. She could take a sabbatical for a few weeks…
“Tonight?” Lee asked with a hopeful grin.
“Yeah, sure!” If Gina was surprised, she didn’t say anything.
“I have to be honest though - I don’t know if I’ll be here longer than a month. I can pay you a month’s rent up front though…”
“Done,” Gina said. “Just let me know so I can find someone to take the room if you’re leaving, yeah?” It was all so easy - keys were handed over, Gina went off to do her shift in a local restaurant, and Lee found herself alone in a room that was now hers - needing to collect her stuff from the hotel and tell her nearest and d
earest that she’d decided to stay two hours away for the foreseeable future.
It didn’t take long to transfer her few belongings from the hotel to the flat right at the top of the town, especially once she’d collected her car from the car park and paid the hotel bill. The harder job came once she’d returned to the new bedroom (with a quick stop at the local supermarket for towels and bedding); time to let people know that she’d decided to take an extended break in the South West. And she didn’t think a text or email was going to cut it this time.
Taking a deep breath, she dialled the office and heard Tania’s voice after a few rings.
“Hello, Phillips, Jones and Sharpe, Tania Sharpe speaking.”
“Hi, Tania - it’s Lee.”
“Lee! We were so worried about you when you messaged. And then you haven’t replied since! Are you okay? Nathan is a wanker - I cannot believe he’s done that to you.”
When she was able to get a word in edgeways, Lee replied: “Thanks, Tan. I’m okay, I think. As okay as you can expect when you walk in on your husband naked with another woman.”
The South West Series Box Set Page 4