Give Me Grace

by Kate McCarthy

  I love you, she mouthed silently, her eyes holding mine.

  I locked my jaw, fighting back a sob as time stood still.

  “Who do you think you are? Batman?”

  She’d been so fierce and bright the day I first met her. From that moment on I knew I’d be whoever she wanted me to be.

  “You even think about carrying me, or touching me, or even breathing in the same airspace as me, I’ll punch you so hard you’ll be spitting teeth for a week.”

  So damn feisty and beautiful.

  My finger tightened on the trigger and I dragged air into my lungs.

  “This is my fight! It’s mine, and I’m not going to allow what happened to my father and to my family happen to you.”

  Grace was wrong. It wasn’t her fight anymore. It was our fight. I wasn’t letting anyone, or anything, take her from me.

  A red haze of anger drew down over my eyes.

  “You made me love you so hard.”

  I cocked my head, checked my aim, and I pulled the trigger.

  Then everything happened at once.

  Kelly knocked my arm from behind and the shot went wild, hitting the ceiling. At the same time, Travis launched himself at Bingo and they both went down. In the middle of all that, Gabriella stormed the front door behind me, rushing past. Her rapid-fire Spanish flooded the room as she went straight for Morgan. Mitch came from the opposite direction, having come through the same back door as Travis. They both closed in from either side.

  Morgan’s eyes flared wide. She swung the gun from Grace to me and fired three rounds into my chest.

  I heard Grace cry out as the force shoved me backwards. I smacked hard into my brother, my legs buckling beneath me.

  “No!” Kelly bellowed, catching me. He stumbled, going to his knees as he took my weight. We both went down. I landed hard on the floor, Kelly hitting somewhere behind me.

  Then he appeared over me.

  “Grace,” I gasped at him. My lungs felt crushed and I could hear the ragged breaths escaping my lips.

  He looked up quickly and then back down. “She’s fine.”

  I nodded because that was all I could manage to do. Everything else felt impossible. Kelly’s face swam in front of me as he ran his hands down my chest, checking the bullet entry points. I stared for a moment, finally getting to see the man my brother had become. He looked just like me and my gut clenched with grief, not because I didn’t know him, but because I wasn’t sure I wanted to.

  “Why?”

  Kelly’s jaw quivered and he clenched it hard. “Because you left me,” he choked out, “and I’ve hated you ever since.”

  “I’m sorry,” I managed, his words a punch to the gut. I was his big brother. I was supposed to protect him from anything that would hurt him. And I’d failed. But what he’d done today? No apology could fix the man he’d become. I didn’t know if I could save him from himself. And the thought broke my heart.

  “Casey!”

  Hearing Grace cry my name was the best thing I’d ever heard in my life. I tilted my head forward and tried to tell her I was okay, but I couldn’t get the words past my lips. Her eyes held mine while Travis cut her free. Travis loved Grace because I loved her, and when I hurt for Grace, he did too. I could see it in his eyes as he untied her with so much care, checking for injuries while she slapped at his hands, impatient to get to me. When the last bit of tape was removed, she was suddenly on me.

  Kelly shifted out of the way and stood. Straddling my lap, Grace began patting at my chest where the bullets hit.

  “Casey,” she sobbed. “Where are you hit?”

  “Fine,” I breathed, my head falling back with relief. “I’m fine.”

  Her hands shoved my hoodie up and over my chest where she encountered the bulletproof vest beneath it. “Oh thank God!” she cried. Her arms wrapped around me and she buried her face in my neck. I could feel her tears on my skin, her delicate frame shaking with sobs as she draped her body over mine, unwilling to let go. My arms came up around her, happy to keep her there.

  “Casey, you came for me.” Grace pulled back, taking my face in her hands. I covered her hands with mine. I looked at her until she blurred in front of me and I knew I’d never find a feeling like this with anyone else. Ever. “You came for me.”

  “Remember when you told me you loved me that first time?”

  Grace nodded, swallowing as she straddled over me, my face still in her hands.

  “And when you said that some people leave you in the blink of an eye, and some are with you for years?” She nodded again. “I promise you, Grace, no matter what happens, you’ll be with me forever, because you’re in my heart, and I won’t let you leave.”

  Her bottom lip trembled. “I don’t want to be anywhere else, Casey.”

  I dragged her face down until my lips met hers. The kiss was fast and hard because it wasn’t the time or the place. I just needed to taste her before I had to deal with my brother.

  After nipping lightly at Grace’s bottom lip, I let her go and Travis loomed over me. “You pussy.” He held out his palm to Grace. She took it in his and he helped her to her feet. “Lying down on the job.”

  “Don’t mind me,” I said, wincing as I stood without assistance.

  Travis raised his brows. “Last time I saw, you didn’t have a vagina. You can get yourself to your feet.”

  I dragged my hoodie over my head and in that split second of inattention, Grace—having decided I was fine—charged towards Morgan. Gabriella had Morgan’s front pressed against the wall as she slapped on a pair of handcuffs. Mitch stood by, holding onto a similarly handcuffed Bingo. Grace obviously didn’t care. She launched herself without the slightest hesitation and all three girls went down in a pile of body parts. Limbs stuck out everywhere as I tossed my hoodie aside, unstrapped the vest, and waded into the fray with Travis.

  “You shot my boyfriend!” came a shriek from the pile.

  “Calma el fuck abajo!” was yelled from somewhere and I had no clue what it meant. It sounded harsh though.

  Then came the unmistakable sound of a fist cracking someone in the face.

  “You bitch!” came another shriek, this one muffled and agonised and sounding a lot like Morgan. “You broke my fucking nose!”

  “Come here,” was the answering growl. “I’ll break your whole fucking face and I’ll laugh while I’m doing it.”

  “Your woman’s feisty,” Kelly told me as if I didn’t already know.

  I reached in for a limb like a lucky dip and yanked out a body. I got a glaring Gabriella. “Control your woman, cara de verga!” she snapped, shrugging free of my grip.

  “What did you call me?”

  Mitch’s lips twitched. “She called you a dickface.”

  “Nice,” I muttered.

  “I told you to wait,” she snapped, brushing hair from her eyes impatiently.

  I turned to grab Grace from the pile when Kelly’s arms wrapped around her waist from behind. Blood smeared along her arm and across her cheek from the melee as he pulled her back.

  “Babe, stop,” he growled when Grace struggled.

  “Let me go, asshole!”

  My eyes narrowed. I left Morgan bleeding on the floor for Travis to deal with. I snatched Grace from Kelly’s hold, nudged her behind me, cocked back a fist, and slammed it in my brother’s face.

  Kelly stumbled backwards, his hands flying to his nose. “Ow, fuck,” he hissed.

  I clenched and unclenched my fist, trying to relieve the throbbing burn in my knuckles before I went for round two. My brother had a hard fucking face. “That’s for taking Grace,” I snarled.

  He came back at me hard and fast, clipping me in the jaw. I sucked in a breath. The punch packed a hell of a lot of power, surprising me. “That’s for leaving me,” he snarled back.

  From my peripheral vision, I saw Grace step forward and then snap backwards like a rubber band. I turned my head. Travis held her. “Let them punch it out, Grace.”

&nb
sp; “Are you kidding? Look at them,” I heard her say as I turned back, fury taking over the pain of Kelly’s punch. “They’ve got muscles on their muscles. They’ll kill each other.”

  “No they won’t,” I heard Travis reassure her as I tackled my brother and we crashed to the ground, breaking the side table by the couch when we landed. I reared back for another punch and Kelly grabbed me in a headlock. “See? They’re hugging it out already,” he added soothingly.

  I landed a fist in Kelly’s ribs.

  “Oomphf,” he huffed.

  “That’s for calling Grace babe. She’s not, nor will she ever be, your babe.”

  Kelly grappled and managed to roll me over, landing a blow to my right eye. It jarred from the impact, blinding me. I shook my head, feeling it swell instantly. “That’s for never coming back when I needed you.”

  I reared up, headbutting him in the face hard. He snapped backwards, toppling off me. Shifting up on my knees, I loomed over him. “That’s for setting me up for murder!” I yelled.

  “Es suficiente!” Gabriella grabbed my shirt by the neckline and I heard it tear. “That’s enough!”

  “You!” She pointed at my brother. “You are under arrest for the kidnapping of Grace Paterson.”

  Kelly’s jaw ticked, but he nodded once, stoically. “Fair enough.”

  “No!” Grace blurted out as I got to my feet, breathing hard and ignoring the ache from where the round of bullets hit my chest. I looked around, noting that Mitch, Morgan, and Bingo were no longer there. Mitch must have taken them out while I was fighting with Kelly.

  “You can’t,” Grace added when the room fell silent.

  Gabriella planted her hands on her hips, a frown marring her brow. “Why not?”

  Grace looked at me before shifting her eyes to my brother. “Because he saved my life.”

  Surprise flashed across Kelly’s face, but he didn’t say a word.

  “Slim?” I reached out, taking her hand. Threading our fingers together, I drew her towards me. “You want to explain?”

  She looked to Kelly and he nodded imperceptibly.

  “Morgan arranged a hit on me. It was supposed to go down last night.” My nostrils flared but I kept quiet, letting her speak. “Kelly found out and told her he’d take care of it himself. Only he had no intention of carrying it out. He just made it look like I was dead. He was going to keep me here, safe, until he could talk to Bingo and let him know what Morgan had planned. But somehow she found out what Kelly did and turned up just before you all did.”

  “If you had just come to me,” I growled at Kelly, “I could’ve taken care of it!”

  “Like you did all those years ago?” he sneered.

  “Christ, Kelly.” I let go of Grace’s hand and took a step forward. “You set me up for fucking murder!”

  “It was only temporary for fuck’s sake!” he yelled, exasperated. “It’s not like they could keep you for long without a dead body. It kept you outta my fuckin’ hair so I could deal with the situation. You keep stickin’ your nose into shit and causing trouble. We had that Janie Berg case handled and you had to go stick your hands in it. Then you kept askin’ questions about our parents and you wouldn’t leave it alone. Why wouldn’t you leave it the fuck alone? This is all your fuckin fault!” he shouted, jabbing a finger at me.

  A growl worked its way up from my chest, and I took another step forward, going nose to nose with my brother. “Did you stop to think that maybe if you hadn’t gone and disappeared, that none of this would’ve happened?”

  That jabbing finger poked me in the chest, right in the middle of bruised tissue. “None of this would’ve happened if you hadn’t left in the first place!”

  I shoved him. “I spent ten years, ten fucking years, thinking you were dead!” I yelled back, my voice cracking. “Godammit!” I spun around, fighting to control the absolute pain of it all.

  “Stop it, Kelly,” I heard Grace say angrily to my brother. “Just … stop. I’ve listened to every word you’ve spoken since the moment I met you and not once, in that entire time, did you stop to consider Casey’s feelings or what he went through. He’s just as important as you are, but you know what he never had?” she asked him, her voice hoarse and sad and I knew she was crying. “He never had anybody to fight for him the way he fought for you. He never had anybody.”

  “Babe—” Kelly began.

  “Shut it,” she hissed and I could sense her temper starting to heat up. “He’s got me now, and he’s got my family, and he’s got a whole pile of friends who love him. We’ll fight for him.”

  I swallowed around the lump in my throat, so fucking proud of Grace I had no idea what to say. “Grace.”

  “Shut it,” she hissed at me, taking my hand. “I’m not finished.”

  She dragged me back around and lifted my shirt, exposing the tattoo of the ancient sword and dragon covering the left side of my torso. “Can you read what the tattoo says?” she snapped. The words were pretty clear, but she read them out anyway. “Glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” Grace twitched my shirt back in place while glaring at Kelly. “That tattoo covers a scar so deep it almost killed him. His father almost killed him, and he took that for you.” I saw Travis flinch from the corner of my eye. I’d never told him about that scar because I hated the memories. “Then he had it inked over so instead of seeing a scar, he sees the sword of a warrior, and it reminds him that every time he took a hit, it was a hit he was taking for you. You know what I see when I look at that tattoo?”

  Kelly shook his head, mute.

  “I see a man who doesn’t know how to give up and I thank fucking God for that, because while I might be able to fight for him, right now, I need him to fight for me. I need …” Grace choked up, unable to speak.

  My eyes burned as I dragged her into my arms wrapping her up tight. I kissed her forehead, and I kissed her temple, and I buried my head in her neck and kissed her there too. “I love you so much, Slim,” I whispered against the warmth of her skin. “I’ll fight for you. I promise.”

  I vaguely heard the murmur of Travis and Gabriella talking before they left together, leaving just me, Kelly, and Grace standing in the living room.

  “Grace is right,” he said. I looked at my stricken brother over Grace’s shoulder. “I didn’t … I never thought about you or what you did at all. You were just always there and one day you weren’t.”

  My arms tightened on Grace as she sniffled into my shirt. I rubbed her back soothingly as I spoke. “I left to setup a better life for us. It took longer than I’d hoped, but I was coming back for you, Kelly. I was coming back.”

  He nodded. “I believe you.”

  “Will you tell me what really happened to our parents?”

  Kelly lifted his chin but I could still see the tremor in his chin and the pain in his eyes. “I killed him.”

  I froze and Grace stilled in my arms.

  “It was me that killed dad.”

  I closed my eyes, reeling, before I opened them again. “Why? What did he do?”

  “He hit Mum. She went down hard, crackin’ her head against the dresser in their room.” Kelly’s eyes filled. “She never got back up. She never fuckin’ got back up,” he bit out, his tone harsh and thick with grief. “So I killed him.”

  Grace let out a whimper and I realised I was squeezing her too tight. I loosened my arms a little. “Did he come after you?”

  He shook his head. “I heard the yellin’ and Mum screamin’ and suddenly it went real quiet. Then I heard Dad sobbing and I never heard that sound in my life. So I crept towards their room and saw him sittin’ on the edge of the bed cryin’ and Mum on the floor.”

  Kelly drew a deep breath, his lungs expanding visibly. “So I went and I got Dad’s gun and I walked back to his room, all the while feelin’ like I was standing outside of myself lookin’ in on it all from above, you know?” He shrugged. “And then I held the gun up to his temple, and I shot him.”

&nb
sp; “Kelly,” I choked out.

  Grace untangled me from her arms and nudged me towards my brother. I latched on and pulled him close, hugging him. A sob broke through his chest and his arms came up holding on. “He killed mum. I couldn’t … I didn’t know what to do. I’d just had enough and couldn’t take it anymore.”

  “Why didn’t you call me? Why did you run?”

  “I was scared I’d go to jail. It wasn’t self-defence, Casey. It was murder.” Kelly pushed back from me, wiping tears from his eyes with the heel of his hands. “I didn’t want you to know what I did. You were always so fuckin’ strong and brave and at the first sign of trouble I lost it. The neighbours called the police after hearing the shot. That’s when I met Morgan. She was just a rookie then, on her way back to the station on her own after doing some fuckin’ work errand or something. I don’t remember.” He shrugged. “I begged her to help me. She agreed. Guess she wasn’t so much of a bitch then like she is now. She called someone in from the Sentinels, made it so it looked like a murder-suicide. She pulled the records from the system two weeks after they closed the case. Didn’t want anyone sniffin’ around, knowing the truth, and I didn’t want anyone to find me. I didn’t want to go to jail. I was fifteen fuckin’ years old. I left that day and I’ve been a Sentinel ever since.”

  After all this time I finally knew and I had no idea what to say. Grace tucked herself behind me, warming me. I took her arms and wrapped them around my waist. “Show me your tattoo,” I asked.

  Kelly dragged his shirt over his head, mussing his hair, and turned around. For a long moment I stared at the representation of what he considered his family, and it hurt like a bitch to know he went to them instead of me. I wasn’t sure I would ever get over that.

  Kelly turned back around. “I didn’t think after all these years of turnin’ Morgan down that she’d go after you instead. I’m real fuckin’ sorry about that.”

  “I used her,” I told him, “and she knew it. So she dangled the case records in my face like a carrot. To be honest, I’m not sure how she got through all the psychological testing to become a detective. She’s not right in the head.”