Touching Heaven

by Marie Higgins

  From over the laughter of children near the schoolyard and the clip-clop of horse’s hooves, Doctor Copeland’s voice drifted through the air when he chatted with another person from town. Peter peeked through half-closed lids at the man. How could the doctor treat him so poorly?

  “I’m sorry, Mrs. Peabody, but I’ll have to do that later,” Peter heard Lee tell the woman. “There’s an emergency at Belle Grove, and I must leave now.”

  Peter’s heart plummeted. Cecilia must be ill again.

  He didn’t know how he could sober himself up quicker, but he must. The woman he loved needed him. He could feel her all around him as her heart cried out for his help.

  I’m comin’, my love!

  Yet, thinking that and putting it into action were two different things since he was still seeing double. He sagged against a tree and closed his eyes. If he hadn’t picked up the whiskey bottle, he wouldn’t feel so helpless right now. Cecilia was correct in thinking alcohol controls men. She was so right about a lot of things.

  His parents had been right, too.

  Homesickness crawled inside Peter, making it hard to breathe. If he were at home right now and having problems, what would his pa tell him to do?

  Turn to the Lord for help.

  Peter heard his pa’s voice loud and clear as if he’d been standing right in front of Peter. He swallowed the lump in his throat and rubbed the pounding in his head. Taking a deep breath, he silently prayed.

  Lord, please forgive me for straying and for losing faith in You. I realize now You didn’t take Matthew from this world to punish me. I will never doubt again. But right now I need Your help. I know Cecilia is in trouble, and I need to help her. I need...Your help to soften her heart so she will trust me again. Please, Lord... Help me. Give my mind and my body the strength it needs to keep Mr. Sterling away from the woman I love. Thank you, Lord, for all Your many blessings. I promise you, from this point forth, I will always trust and believe. Amen.

  Peter slowly opened his eyes, sucked in a heavy breath, and rose to his feet. Faith remained in his heart as he slowly walked toward his horse. Somehow, he would convince Cecilia to trust—and love—him again.

  THE PLANTATION WASN’T the same. How could it be when everywhere Cecilia looked she saw Peter?

  Regardless, she must put that man out of her mind. He had deceived her, and she had gone into his arms blindly. Never again would she allow anyone to steal her heart. Men were skunks—and she’d known that for a while. So then why had she let Peter change her mind?

  Her heart twisted as she clutched her medicine bag. She hurried through the front door and clamored up the stairs toward her room, her heart pounding with each step. She opened the door and stepped inside. Hank’s head snapped up, his eyes wide, but it was his colorless face that worried her.

  Hank let out a heavy sigh. “You’re back,” he said, then a coughing spasm racked his frail body.

  “Of course I’m back.” She walked to him and laid her hand on his hot, moist brow. “I can’t very well leave you to die of pneumonia, now can I?”

  He shook his head and lay back on the bed, pulling the quilt around his shoulders tighter. “I would hope not. But I want to sleep in my bed.”

  “Hank, the only person who can know you’re back in town is Anna-Mae. If you stay in my room, it’ll look like I have become ill. Now quit arguing.”

  “Sorry,” he whined.

  “I just can’t understand why you didn’t find shelter during the storm. What were you thinking?”

  “I...I wanted to come home.” His voice held a pitiful tone.

  “Well, you’re home now. You need to rest and drink plenty of liquids,” she said, looking through her black leather bag.

  “Yes, Doc.” He coughed.

  “I’m just relieved you didn’t come any earlier. You wouldn’t have liked our houseguest.”

  “I know. I saw you with Peter Grayson the other night.”

  She jerked her head toward him and gasped. “You saw me with him?”

  He scowled. “Yes, and let’s just say I was astounded. He had you pinned up against the wall...” He flipped his weak hand in the air once before it dropped to his side. “And you allowed him to hold and kiss you in an improper manner.”

  Cecilia’s face flamed, and she looked away. “I’m sorry you had to see that. But he’s gone and never coming back.”

  “Never?”

  She paused. Never? Her heart clenched. As much as she still wanted to love him, she couldn’t overlook his deceit and the crafty way he convinced her into letting him stay at Belle Grove.

  Yet what about his declaration of love in front of the doctor? Could any of it be true?

  She drew herself up to her full height. “I have told him not to come around. I don’t want to see him ever again.” Unfortunately, she’d forgotten that she might have to run into him as Doctor Copeland.

  She pulled out her sponge and a bottle of whiskey. Dabbing the alcohol on his skin would reduce the fever a mite.

  From below the room, the slamming of a door echoed through the house. Her heart jumped, and Hank bolted up in bed.

  “Who’s here?” he whispered.

  “I don’t know.”

  “Cecilia!” The voice called from downstairs.

  Her heart leapt, and she grumbled. “It’s Peter.”

  “Good grief, what’s he doing here? Didn’t you just tell me he was gone forever?”

  She scowled at her brother. “Apparently, forever isn’t as long as I had anticipated.”

  She ran to the door and cracked it open. Footsteps pounded on the stairs, heading up to the second level. “Hank, you have to hide.”

  “How can I? Not at the speed he’s taking those stairs.”

  The beat of her heart knocked against her ribs, making her breathing ragged. She pulled back inside and closed the door. “What are we going to do then?”

  Within moments, Peter’s footsteps boomed down the hallway. “Cecilia?” he called.

  She straightened her shoulders. “I must talk to him. Somehow I’ll get him out of here.” Opening the door, she took a deep breath and stepped out. Just as she closed it behind her, Peter stood in front of her. His chest rose and fell from his quick breaths, his face hardened as his steely eyes pierced through her.

  “I want to see Cecilia,” he demanded.

  “She’s not here.”

  “Don’t lie to me, Doc!”

  She squared her shoulders more. “Mr. Grayson—”

  “I heard you tell a woman in town that there was an emergency at Belle Grove. I know it is Cecilia.”

  “It’s not her.”

  Peter folded his arms across his broad chest. “Then why are you coming out of her room?”

  She silently cursed herself for not thinking ahead.

  He stepped closer and leaned his hand above her on the door. Her heart hammered faster from his nearness. Heaven help her, but she couldn’t resist this man...even while dressed like one.

  “If Miss Ashby isn’t ill, then why did you just come from her room?”

  She swallowed hard. “Mr. Grayson, if you don’t leave posthaste, I’ll have Samuel throw you out.”

  “And you think I’m afraid of him?” He shook his head. “Try again, Doc. That threat doesn’t scare me.”

  From inside the room came a loud crash. Her heart dropped.

  Peter swore and yanked her away from the door. He twisted the handle and pushed open the door. At that second, Hank darted past him, knocking Peter against the wall.

  Peter grabbed the back of Hank’s shirt, stopping him. “This is what you’re trying to hide?” Peter asked Cecilia.

  She blinked back tears. She couldn’t cry in front of him. Not as the doctor.

  Peter turned Hank around and pushed him against the wall. “Where’s my money, you spineless coward!”

  Hank shook his head. “I didn’t steal all of your money, just a little to pay the taxes. I earned some money while I’ve been away,
and it’s all yours. That’s why I came back.”

  “Why...” The rough edge to Peter’s voice softened slightly. “Why did you stab me?”

  “I...I didn’t. When I reached you in the alley, you were already stabbed and most of your money had been taken. I figured you were already dead, so I took the rest. I swear it’s true—on my parents’ grave.”

  Cecilia yanked on Peter’s arm to get him to release her brother, but the man was built like an ox—and just as stubborn. “Let him go,” she demanded in her doctor’s stern voice.

  She studied his expression and thought he’d relent, but quick as lightening, his features hardened, and he whipped his revolver out of his holster and pushed it in Hank’s face.

  “I want my money,” Peter demanded.

  Fear of the worst kind clutched Cecilia’s throat. She must stop him!

  Chapter Twenty

  Cecilia couldn’t let Peter kill her brother. She pulled on his arm again, and screamed, “No, Peter. Let him go!”

  Peter sucked in a quick gulp of air and swung his head to her, his eyes wide. Then she realized she’d spoken in Cecilia’s voice, not the doctor’s.

  He knows now.

  She closed her eyes and sighed, but her heart continued to beat faster than she wanted it to.

  “Cecilia?”

  She looked at Peter. His gaze moved over her in slow increments as he took his time in studying her. She didn’t blame him since she supposed it came as quite a shock to find out the man portraying a doctor was really a woman.

  “Yes, I’m Cecilia.”

  He let go of Hank and turned toward her. Hank scrambled down the hall, but Peter must not have cared because he couldn’t take his eyes off her. Touching her hair, he narrowed his eyes. He touched her face, her fake mustache then removed her spectacles.

  “Good grief you are Cecilia.”

  She nodded and ripped off her mustache and beard. “Yes, I am.”

  “Why?” He moved his gaze over her quickly, this time from the top of her head to the tips of her men’s boots. “Why the disguise?”

  “I’ve always wanted to be a doctor and care for people. But this town wouldn’t accept a female doctor, so I pretended to be a man. When I realized how well it worked, I kept up the pretense. Nobody knows but Hank and Anna-Mae.”

  She stepped past him and walked in her room. He followed with a slack jaw as he stuffed his revolver back in the holster.

  “After my parents died,” she continued, “I decided to see if I could convince people I was a man. It worked, so there was no reason to tell them otherwise. I finally lived my dream, and the town received the best care they have had in quite a while.”

  Peter let out a slow breath and ran his fingers through his hair. “All the while I was laid up in the doctor’s office and dreamed of my night angel...you were there by my side.”

  “Peter, you must forget about that.”

  In two large steps, he stood in front of her, clasping her shoulders. “Never. I will always remember the wonderful sensations I had whenever you touched me. I’ll never forget the way you responded to my kisses, either. I love you, Cecilia, and nothing will change that.”

  She glared at him. “It can never be. You hurt me, Peter. You deceived me.”

  His lips stretched into a grin. “I told you the truth about my identity just as you told me the truth about yours, right?”

  She pursed her lips. How dare he throw that back into her face? “It’s not the same. I’d been doing this for a while. My disguise isn’t meant to hurt people but to help. Your deception was meant to hurt, Peter. You didn’t want me to know your true purpose because you knew I’d hate you.”

  His smile disappeared. “You hate me?”

  “Yes.”

  “I don’t think so.” He pulled her closer and wrapped his arms around her. “We have shared too much, darlin’.”

  She pressed the heel of her hands against his hard chest. “Please, Peter...”

  “Your voice may tell me you hate me, but your body and lips say something entirely different.”

  He couldn’t be more correct, because even now she trembled in his arms. Even now she wanted to feel his mouth pressed against hers.

  “You don’t understand. I can’t trust you, Peter. How do I know you’re not telling me you love me just because you want the plantation?”

  He kissed her forehead, and she held in a moan.

  “Marry me, Cecilia. We’ll live anywhere you want. We’ll give the plantation to your brother and move to Montana to be with my family.” He withdrew far enough to look into her eyes. “As much as I want the plantation back in the family, you are more important to me. If needs be, I’d travel to the ends of the earth to have you by my side.” He brushed his lips across hers. “I can give up the plantation, but I can’t give up on our love.”

  Curse his sweet hide!

  As always, his words warmed her heart and melted her. How could she refuse him? How could she stop loving this man?

  “Forgive me, Cecilia. Please? I confess I did want this plantation, but now I want you more.” He left a brief kiss on her lips. “I can’t live without you, darlin’.”

  She allowed a few more of his kisses then pulled away. “I need to know something first.”

  “I’ll tell you anything.”

  “What about my brother?”

  “What about him?”

  “Are you going to forget about the money he stole, especially if he can pay you back?”

  He frowned. “I’ll forget about it, but if your brother didn’t stab me, who did?”

  “We may never find out, I’m afraid.”

  “True.”

  “Will you hold that against him, or can you forgive him?”

  Peter stroked her cheek. “It’s going to take a while to fully trust him. I’ll be watching my back until he can prove himself. But I’ll try and forgive him since he’s going to be my brother-in-law.”

  “If I agree to marry you, will you let me continue my doctoring?”

  He grinned. “I think the town will not take kindly to two men in love, darlin’.”

  She couldn’t stop the laugh that bubbled in her throat. “That’s true.”

  “What if you showed the town your true identity?”

  “You don’t understand. Before I became a doctor, there was a woman doctor here. She was not good at all, and many people died under her care.”

  “But my love, you’ve been a wonderful doctor. If they know you’re really a woman, why would they judge?”

  She gave him a sheepish grin. “I truly hope you’re right. I’d love that more than anything.”

  “And I’ll be by your side when you tell them...if that is your wish.”

  Cecilia’s heart softened more. How could she not love this man?

  Smiling, she slid her hands up his chest and linked her fingers on the back of his neck. “What I wish is that this past week will be nothing but a bad dream. I want to go back to the way we were.”

  He shook his head. “Not me. I like being honest with each other. There are no more secrets between us. Do you really forgive me?”

  She tightened her arms around him. “I do.” She grinned. “Do you know what I want right now?”

  “No, what?”

  “I want to kiss you to distract—”

  His mouth covered hers before she could finish. She clung to him and answered his urgent kiss, but within seconds, he stopped the kiss by pulling away. “As much as I want to continue this, I’d rather feel Cecilia next to me and not Doctor Copeland.”

  She chuckled and stepped back. “That will have to come later. My brother is sick and I need to care for him.”

  Peter nodded. “I understand, but when will I get to see Cecilia Ashby, the woman I love?”

  “Not until late at night, I’m afraid. Until I’m ready to tell everyone the truth, I must masquerade as a man during the day and a woman at night.”

  “Then I pray you will share your secr
et with the town because I will want to hold and kiss you all day long.”

  She stroked his cheek. She really wanted to be in her pretty dress again and feel like a woman. Perhaps she could put Doc Copeland on hold for a few more hours...

  From outside came the pop of a rifle. Peter jumped and ran toward the window.

  “What’s going on?” she asked urgently.

  “I can’t see anything.” He looked at her over his shoulder. “I’ll check things out.”

  “Not without me.”

  “Honey, I can’t put you in any danger. Stay here until I know it’s safe.”

  She nodded. “Hurry then.”

  Panic surged through her chest, fearing the worst for her brother since he was always getting in trouble...sick or not.

  AS PETER STEPPED OUT on the front porch, he came to a halt. What in the blazes?

  On the grass with blood pouring from his chest, lay Cecilia’s neighbor, Heath Sterling. Standing above him, Hank pointed the rifle at the injured man. Rose, the harlot from the saloon, knelt beside Heath, sobbing.

  Peter walked closer, not wanting to upset Hank and become his next victim. When Hank’s gaze jumped up and met his, Peter stopped and held up his hands to let Hank see he was no threat.

  Tears glistened in the boy’s eyes as he switched his gaze between him and Heath. “Don’t you see? I had to do it.” Hank’s voice squeaked.

  Peter nodded. “I’m certain you did.”

  Rose’s howls grew louder, so Peter walked closer. “What happened, Hank?”

  Cecilia’s brother pointed the rifle at Heath. “He was coming to kill us.” He sniffed. “When I came outside, I overheard him and Rose talking. They didn’t know I was there.”

  Peter glanced at Rose and Heath then back to Hank. “Why would Heath want to kill you, Hank?”

  “Mr. Sterling has always wanted the plantation, and he didn’t want you to get it. Heath told Rose that he couldn’t get his hands on our property while both you and Cecilia were alive, especially now that he knows you love each other.”