Metal Up Your Ass

by Michael Todd

  “So we are playing rough.” Derek smiled. “Noted.”

  “Hey!” Stephanie called as she walked into the training center. “What are you idiots doing?”

  “Testing Katie’s new skills.” Eric was in a defensive position.

  “Oh, I gotta get in on this.” Stephanie laughed and tossed her bag to the side. “You think you can take the three of us?”

  “Pfft.” Katie rolled her eyes. “Please, fighting you three would be like one tiny demon. Bring it on.”

  Stephanie immediately ran forward and attacked, knocking Katie off balance. She caught her footing and swung her staff at Eric, who dodged it as he attempted to sneak up on her. The three threw punches innocently at first, but really got into it once Katie swiped her stick across Stephanie’s arm.

  “You want to do this thing huh?” Stephanie laughed. “All right, I got you.”

  Katie defended herself pretty well at first, but her human strength faded. She was panting after about ten minutes of fighting all three of them off, and the stick got heavier in her hands the longer they sparred. Derek feinted at her, bringing her attention to him while Stephanie and Eric snuck to her sides and attacked simultaneously. They brought their arms around her chest and took her to the floor, pinning her. Derek laughed as she laid there catching her breath.

  “Okay, enough of this shit,” Pandora growled, juicing Katie’s energy. “Kick their asses.”

  Katie’s breathing went back to normal and she kicked her feet into the air and bounced up, tossing Eric and Stephanie to the side. She twirled the staff around her and stopped with it in front of her body. All three of her teammates were now in defensive poses, pausing for only a second before lunging at her. With two swipes she took all three of them down, chuckling as they fell to the floor. She raised her staff to vertical, bowed, and walked off the mat, leaving them on the ground bitching in pain.

  Stephanie laid on her back on the mat, trying to focus. The ceiling came into view and she looked at the sun through the heavily tinted glass. She picked up her head, but let it fall back to the floor with a groan.

  “What just happened?” she whimpered, looking to the side as a shadow approached her.

  “It looks like you got your ass handed to you,” Korbin told her, leaning over her. “Katie’s demon decided she’d had enough of you guys beating on Katie, and I guess she decided to join in. Don’t worry, you aren’t the first and won’t be the last to be bested by her inner growl. I personally think it’s an important lesson for you.”

  Stephanie groaned again and closed her eyes, both her head and her legs throbbing.

  She had never been bested, but that was before. She suddenly had more of an appreciation for what Katie could do.

  Apparently she’d been holding back on their missions, not letting her demon take too much control. With her demon juicing her she could take down an entire army and not even blink an eye.

  Stephanie’s demon didn’t do very much. She had to rely on the skills she had learned growing up with a group of people who all felt they needed to know how to protect themselves. She was starting to think that with demons like the ones she saw the day before and Damned like Katie walking around, they might not have been so wrong.

  Their training had been horrible, but at least they knew how to protect themselves.

  She pushed herself up on her elbows and looked at Derek and Eric, who were struggling to pick themselves up from the floor. When she’d said she could take them all, she hadn’t been kidding. Stephanie pulled up her pant leg and looked at the bruise that was already forming.

  “Great,” she mumbled.

  “Come on.” Korbin laughed, reaching down and helping her to her feet.

  She stood up and grabbed his shoulder for support as she wobbled back and forth. She felt the pain where the staff had hit her hard. Stephanie shook her head, rolled her eyes, and looked at Korbin.

  “And what lesson are you talking about?” she asked. “To stay away from wooden sticks?”

  “No.” He chuckled as he walked off the mat. “Years of practice don’t make up for millennia of preparation.”

  “For her demon.” Stephanie scoffed to herself.

  She hobbled off the mat and sat down on a bench, rubbing her leg. She glanced at Katie as Korbin passed her, giving her a high five.

  Stephanie laughed, shaking her head and grabbing her bag. She had started out her day’s training with an ass-kicking, which only made her want to work harder.

  Stephanie put her iPod’s earbuds in and cranked up the tunes, then put her lifting gloves on. She winced when she stood up and laughed at herself. The bruise would be a good reminder to stay on top of her game. She didn’t have the bounce-back that twenty-somethings did—not that she was old.

  She started to load the new deadlift bar with weights. Eric, who had been rejuvenated by the fight and was bouncing up and down, joined her. He chugged some water and smiled.

  “You need some help with those, little lady?” He laughed.

  “Only if you want to find one of them lodged in your asshole,” she growled.

  “Whoa there.” He chuckled and put his hands up. “Carry on, please. Get some of that aggression out.”

  Stephanie was aware that she was showing aggression, but as she watched Korbin disappear down the hallway she remembered exactly what she was stressed about. It wasn’t the demons, and she didn’t have a problem being shown up by Katie.

  She knew exactly what kind of activity would relieve her stress. She sighed and went back to the weights. That was way far off.

  14

  Katie laughed as she put up her staff and grabbed her boots, sitting down and lacing them up as she watched Korbin help Stephanie up off the mat.

  Part of her felt bad, but mostly she just felt proud that she had been able to take down three of her teammates in seconds—thanks to Pandora of course. When she was done she walked toward the door, stopping as Korbin walked past. He put up his hand and gave her a high five, winking at her before walking down the hall.

  She smiled at Stephanie and left the training area, heading to the elevator. She squinted hard as it breached the surface and slid its heavy metal doors open.

  She put up her hand to block the sun as she made her way to Joshua’s building, which she hadn’t had the chance to check out yet. When she went inside she was impressed; he had decorated the place and added furniture. It pretty much looked like the inside of Wayne Manor, except it was one very large open room.

  Joshua was in the back corner, his goggles over his eyes as he hammered some metal. When he was done he looked up and smiled, pushing his goggles up and standing up with the weapon. He quenched it in a nearby tub of water and placed it on the table behind him.

  “Hey there, buddy.” Katie smiled. “Am I interrupting?”

  “Nope.” he smiled. “I was actually hoping you would come see me today.”

  On his way over to her, he stopped at a large cabinet and opened a drawer, pulling out three plastic boxes. The boxes held rounds, a hundred in each. Katie ran her hand over the tips, feeling the magic inside them.

  “That’s three hundred,” he told her proudly. “I hoped to have more, but these are ready to test.”

  “How do they work?” she demanded.

  “Well, as they enter the body the bullet mushrooms, ejecting the harmful metal. That is when it causes problems. They’ll kill just like any other bullet, but I know how hard head shots are to make during a fight. These will disable most demons with one shot anywhere in the body so you can chop their head off or burn em’ or whatever you find necessary. Multiple hits should work on the big ones, but you have to aim really well to get the best result.”

  “Nice,” Katie replied. “So if I can shoot him between the eyes use a regular bullet.”

  “If you want to save the rounds, yes.” Joshua smiled. “Those are yours, of course.”

  “Awesome! Thank you.” Katie accepted the three yellow plastic boxes. “Hey, I hav
e a question.”

  “Shoot.”

  “I was wondering if you would take a look at my quarterstaff. I want to see if it can be modified to have extendable blades. The end cap would be made of our metal, and I want to be able to remove the blades. I know it sounds crazy, but I have really been working on perfecting my skills. I can’t kill a demon with a wooden stick, and if I’m going to go farther I want to be able to damage or kill with it. I don’t want to just add a step to my fighting, you know?”

  “Yeah, you want to make the most of your energy.” Joshua pursed his lips, thinking. “We can definitely do something. Come over here and let’s draw it out.”

  Katie walked over to his drafting table and pulled up a chair, impressed with how professionally he did everything. It was definitely a change from the basement of the old building at the last base. Joshua pulled out some pencils and a piece of paper and quickly sketched out the staff as it was at that moment.

  “I saw your staffs when we moved,” he commented, finishing up the initial drawing. “That is what you have right now, so we’ll add the tip right there. How do you want it to work?”

  “I was thinking a button that unlocks the shaft,” Katie explained. “From there it’s manual, as in I have to twist the shaft. Once twisted, it should lock into place. I was thinking something like eighteen-inch dirks coming out either from the sides to allow a slicing motion or one that springs from the tip that can be used to stab. Either way is fine.”

  “Okay.” Joshua nodded as he drew the end of the staff. “Like that?”

  “Yes.” Katie smiled. “Just don’t make it so narrow that they break off. Demon skin is thick and hard, so I don’t want it to be a one-and-done kind of thing.”

  “Right, so it needs to be thick, and it needs to be reinforced in some way,” he repeated, making notes. “I think I can come up with something relatively quickly. It’ll just take me a little bit of time to forge the dirk.”

  “Sweet.” Katie smiled. “You are doing an amazing job. I just want you to know that.”

  “Thanks.” He blushed. “But I’m not on my own. I have a whole lot of help.”

  “I think that is true across the board.” Katie chuckled. “We all have a lot of help in one way or another, but we are family and we do things together. If you need anything, just let me know.”

  “I appreciate it.” As she headed toward the door he lowered his voice. “More than you know.”

  Derek walked out of the elevator into the bright sun, putting his hands on his hips and looking around. He squinted to stare at the sands in the distance. He wanted to do something—relax, have a good time—but he had no idea what that something was.

  He didn’t feel like driving to the Strip or dealing with all those people, but out here in the middle of nowhere his options were limited.

  He headed over to the makeshift garage Korbin had set up.

  The concrete base was new, and they had erected a large tent over it to shield the vehicles from the sand. Derek went in and stared at Katie’s truck, admiring its sleek lines and ability to handle almost anything. The SUVs were great for transport, but that baby looked like she was built for fun.

  “She’s pretty sweet, isn’t she?” Katie offered as she came up behind Derek.

  “Yeah.” He laughed. “Have you taken her out? You know, really given her a proper test drive?”

  “Nope.” Katie shrugged and tossed him the keys. “Now is as good a time as any.”

  “Really?” he exclaimed, looking at the keys in his hands.

  She opened the passenger door. “Yep, but you break her, you fix her.”

  “Deal,” he agreed, climbing hastily into the driver’s seat before she came to her senses.

  He buckled his seatbelt and started the engine, rubbing his hands on the steering wheel once she started purring. He looked at Katie and smiled as he grabbed the shifter.

  “You ready?”

  “Hell, yeah.” Katie waved him forward. “Let’s open this baby up!”

  Derek tore down the road and out the main gate. As soon as he had gone far enough, he exited the road by taking a sharp right into the sand.

  They flew through the desert, jumping washes, doing donuts, and laughing. He gunned it in an open area, grabbing the emergency brake and slamming on the brake pedal, whirling the car in a three-sixty and coming to a stop. Katie laughed madly as she swayed back and forth, holding onto the overhead grip.

  “Okay,” she said, unbuckling. “My turn.”

  Oh shit.

  Shut up, Pandora. I haven’t killed us yet.

  “Yet” is the operative word here, honey.

  They switched spots and took off again, exploring every part of the land around them. From a distance, you could tell exactly where they were by the dust plumes in the air.

  Katie realized that she had been born to off-road in the Raptor; it just felt so right and so natural to her. She could take whatever turns she wanted and go as fast as she wanted, and when she let go of fear she had a fantastically good time.

  She slowed the truck down as they approached the rocky and mountainous terrain on the back end of the massive property.

  Stephanie had finally come clean on just how many acres she owned, and Katie felt like it was a damned state.

  It wasn’t, but that many zeroes should equal a state-sized chunk of land.

  Katie shifted into four-wheel low and slowly began to climb the mountain, smiling in excitement as Derek stared at the scenery. When they finally reached a point where the mountain became too steep she stopped and parked, and they climbed a little farther to sit on a flat area cut into the mountain.

  It would be perfect for sitting or lying down to watch the stars.

  “Wow.” she gasped as the sun dipped beyond the horizon.

  The sky was orange and the clouds that had gathered right at the horizon glistened in beautiful yellows and pinks. It was a really nice moment; something she hadn’t yet shared with anyone from the team.

  Derek sighed and leaned back on his hands, closing his eyes and enjoying the cool breeze.

  “I could definitely get used to living here.” He smiled. “I’ve got my family, my computers, and a hell of a beautiful view. I don’t think I could ask for much more.”

  “Maybe a pizza place that delivered out here.” Katie giggled. “I’m starving.”

  “It’s getting dark anyway.” Derek smiled as he got up and swatted off the dust. “Come on, let’s gun it back. There isn’t anything out here that can hurt us.”

  “Except demons and wolves.” Katie shrugged. “But fuck them.”

  Derek laughed heartily as they climbed back into the truck. Katie took the helm, and they slowly crept back down the mountain, not wanting to slip or flip the vehicle.

  When they reached the bottom they went balls out. Katie slammed her foot on the gas, spinning the tires before diving into the sandbox in front of them. She laughed and cheered as they sped through the desert, her window down and her arm out to feel the wind blow past.

  “It’s getting dark,” she yelled over the wind.

  Pandora laughed. You don’t need lights.

  Suddenly Katie’s eyes sparkled brightly, and she could see in the dark. It was like wearing night vision, only everything had a red tint—and she could see perfectly.

  Derek looked at her and laughed, shaking his head.

  “You’ve got the coolest demon. She like installs toys in your body,” he commented. “Night-vision Katie. Maybe I can con my demon into x-ray vision.”

  “Pervert.” Katie pulled hard to the right to avoid a large rock.

  Katie gunned it and hit a slope, going airborne for a moment before landing and throwing sand behind them. The wheels caught, and they took off, swerving back and forth watching as the front gate came into view. She slowed the truck just a bit and took the turn through the gate at high speed, tilting the truck almost on two wheels. Derek clung to the oh-shit handle as they leveled out, causing Katie to eru
pt in laughter.

  “How did he die?” Derek said. “Oh, he went four-wheeling with a demon and ended up inside a giant ball of metal.”

  “Ha! That was what that last demon said.” Katie laughed, thinking about the Ferrari.

  They sped up the driveway, slowing down only to pull into the garage. She put the truck in park and turned off the engine, leaning her head back as she continued to laugh. When the giggling simmered down, she turned her head and looked at Derek. He looked more alive than she had ever seen him before.

  “This was fun.” She grinned.

  “Hell, yeah it was.” He nodded vigorously. “I was seriously expecting us to crash any second. I pictured taking one of those peaks and just rolling end over end through the sand.”

  “That would have been a shame.” Katie paused for a moment. “I think I would stop buying cars if that had happened.”

  They sat there for a minute looking out the front window before both turning and speaking in unison.

  “Yeah right!”

  Derek pointed to her. “Seriously, I can see you owning like fifteen cars during your reign as Damned Queen.”

  “Damned what?”

  “Oh, that’s just what we call you: the Damned Queen.” Derek smiled. “You can kick anyone and anything’s ass.”

  “Not anything.” She sighed and opened the car door.

  “One day it will be anything.” Derek stood on the running board and looked over the truck bed at her. “You will get there. Just you watch and see.”

  “And when I do, we will all be out of a job.” Katie closed the door.

  “Nah. As long as there is a Satan we will have a job,” he assured her as they walked toward the building.

  Lucifer.

  “Then I guess I have bigger fish to fry.”

  “That would be the ultimate bad-guy showdown.” He chuckled and mimicked putting a microphone up to his mouth. “Katie versus Lucifer, LIVE at Wrigley Field!”