The Zee Brothers Vol.1 & 2 Box Set [Zombie Exterminators]

by Grivante

  “They’re getting pretty thick out here.” Judas stated the obvious.

  “Do you think they’ll maybe just return the amulet themselves?” JJ asked.

  “They might. But, they might also be angry about their eternal slumber being interrupted and decide to use the amulet to perform a ritual to curse the living.”

  “What kind of curse?”

  “Oh, I—,” Jonah began.

  “Jonah, do you hear that?” Judas asked.

  “No, what?”

  “Drums!”

  “Shit. They’ve found it - and those drums mean they probably don’t plan on returning it.”

  The truck rounded the hill and came level with the reclamation department entrance. The gates had been knocked aside and well over a hundred Pakatini and freshly turned residents from Winter Oaks milled about. They were everywhere.

  “Hold on. It’s gonna get a bit bumpy.” Jonah put his foot down and slammed Sasha into gear. The sound of bodies being struck sounded like driving through a hailstorm. It soon turned into a very rocky ride as the zombie mass fell like dominoes underneath their wheels. A loud roar rose up around them.

  Then they were through the bottleneck of the entrance, Jonah swerved to the left and put Sasha in neutral. “Look for a group of them in a circle!”

  Judas rolled his window down a bit. The thump of the drums was clear, but not the direction from which it was coming.

  “There,” JJ pointed to a grouping that appeared to be on their knees before three taller mostly flesh beings. One of which wore an ancient top hat adorned with crude skull medallions.

  Jonah swung Sasha around and as he slid her back into second, she stalled.

  “Fuck!” All three of them said.

  They coasted to a stop a couple hundred feet away, their headlights illuminating a ring of Pakatini. Some of the ancient zombies held old worn and battered drums, others, coffee cans and other assorted makeshift objects that seemed to make the right beat they were looking for. They were all thumping away and bobbing their upper bodies to the rhythm, much like they had probably done when they were alive. Before them, stood the top-hatted priest and to each side of him, two smaller skeletal figures.

  Jonah started Sasha and popped the clutch in, moving the magic 8-ball into first.

  The drums’ tempo increased.

  Xanadu barked.

  “I’m gonna plow into them. Judas, get ready to hop out and grab the amulet. The one with the hat has to have it.” He let the clutch out and gave Sasha some gas.

  The truck lurched forward and there was a loud grinding sound. The stick shift popped out of first with an almost supernatural thud and Sasha died.

  Unseen by any of them, the magic 8-ball came to rest on the phrase, ‘Outlook not so good’.

  “Looks like we’re gonna have to do this the hard way,” Jonah said, grabbing a cigar from his pocket and lighting it. “Judas, get out back and man DeeDee. Keep them off me.”

  “What about me?” JJ asked as Judas climbed from the truck.

  “Stay here, lean out the window and try and make sure none of them sneak up on Judas.”

  “Ok!” She pulled out her pink revolver and rolled the window down.

  Jonah took a deep drag from his cigar and took Brutus from its holster and walked around to the front of the truck.

  At that moment, the drums stopped. The top hatted priest turned his glowing eyes on Jonah and raised one hand.

  What happened next was a new one even for Jonah and Judas who, in their many years together, had seen quite a lot. The priest spoke a string of words in a deep guttural language that made his jaw pop back and forth unnaturally, then the giant heaps of garbage all around them surged.

  Hundreds, maybe thousands of dead rats began to reanimate and swarm down the heaps toward Sasha. The drums started anew.

  “Judas!” Jonah shouted. “Mow them down!” He pointed in the direction of the priest.

  The rats rolled in a scurrying carpet of rotted hair and flesh, converging from all angles on the truck. Jonah ran, gun drawn, but not firing, darting past stumbling zombies that reached for him, trying to make his way to the priest.

  In the truck, JJ watched. The mass of reanimated rodents would overtake Jonah long before he reached his goal. “C’mon, buddy,” she said to Xanadu, and scooped him up in her arm. She hopped out of the truck just as DeeDee’s whirring sounded from the back.

  The drums held fast and steady, as did the top hatted priest’s finger, which glowed red and tracked Jonah’s movements, directing the rodent horde right at him.

  “Ok, lil buddy, let’s buy him some time.”

  DeeDee began to thump as Judas fired, swinging the barrel in the direction of the priest’s summoning circle. The rodents were mere yards from Jonah.

  JJ swung her arms down between her legs then, with all her might, launched her dog into the air.

  “XANAdooooo!”

  Thump. Thump. Thump. The bullets pounded into the circle.

  A rat ran up Jonah’s leg.

  The drums rhythm slowed, then faltered.

  Bright light rained down from the sky. A thousand reflections from some unseen polyhexagonal ball illuminated everything and everyone. The sound from the drums was completely obscured by a blast of disco music.

  Xanadu hung in the air.

  The priest, seemingly unaffected, screeched in madness as those around him slowed to a stop. Thump. Thump. The bullets tore through the circle and the zombie next to the priest fell.

  A dozen rats now climbed Jonah’s legs, up his torso and onto his back.

  The priest closed his jaw with a bite and a growl and flicked his glowing finger toward Jonah. One of DeeDee’s slugs tore him in half, hurtling the pieces into the mountain of trash behind where he’d stood, only the red glow from his finger remained.

  The drumming stopped. The disco died away and the lights faded. The rats ceased moving of their own accord and rolled to a stop. Those on Jonah fell away, lifeless. Xanadu landed with a soft yelp into his mistress’s arms.

  The flicker of red light shot from the summoning circle where the priest had stood and struck Jonah on the forehead. It lifted him off the ground, snapping his head back and sending the cigar flying from his mouth. A series of symbols flashed across his forehead and seemed to expand over his flesh. The symbols rotated and changed until they locked on three distinct shapes. The red glow emanated from his skin like a beacon.

  He fell to the ground and hit his knees, screaming.

  “I can’t see!”

  Part XII - Tag You're It

  JJ turned and tossed Xanadu onto the hood of the truck. “Good boy! Now stay put.”

  “Ruff!” he exclaimed.

  “Jonah!” Judas shouted. “DeeDee’s empty. We gotta go!”

  Jonah got to his feet, shaking his head and stumbling over dead rats as he waved his arms wildly. A hazy flash of red pulsed out from him in a circle. All around zombies stood somewhat passively, just waiting for something. Then, one by one, as the pulse of light passed through them, they turned in Jonah’s direction. Their eyes changed to deep red embers and with a primal screech they moved en masse toward him.

  “Oh fuck,” Judas cried. “Jonah, you’ve been marked, you’ve been marked!”

  Jonah swung around, still blinded and obviously disoriented. The first of the red-eyed zombies was mere feet away, he could hear their groans. He raised his gun and aimed it in the general direction of what he thought was the closest sounding zombie.

  Blam! Blam! Blam!

  Three rapid shots fired right next to him and then JJ was grabbing his arm.

  “C’mon, let’s get outta here.” She tugged at him, but he didn’t move.

  “No. We’ve got to get the amulet.”

  “There’s no time.”

  Blam! She shot an approaching zombie in the leg, causing it to fall and knock over those that were behind it.

  “If we don’t get the amulet, they won’t stop coming.”
>
  “Shit.” JJ fired again, managing to take two Pakatini zombies down with one head shot. “Where is it?”

  “Somewhere with the priest.”

  JJ stepped over a pile of dead rotting rats and tugged on his hand. “Follow me and step tall.”

  Luckily the piles of putrid rodents were also a problem for the zombies, most fell over the mounds of rats and body parts and were now either trying to stand or were crawling slowly toward them.

  She found the top hat first. A large portion of the garbage heap had fallen down and halves of zombies from DeeDee’s barrage were intermingled amongst the carnage.

  “I see his hat!” She pointed, forgetting for a moment that he could not see. “But it’s not on anyone.”

  “He had a full deer skin robe on, he should stand out,” Jonah said.

  JJ glanced behind them at the encroaching horde, then kneeled down and started tossing aside the debris. “There’s pieces of zombies everywhere. I hope Judas didn’t shoot it.”

  She flung hunks of rusted metal, broken appliances, decomposing boxes and random rotting zombie remains to the side. Behind them the horde continued its slow scramble, ever closer.

  “There. I think I see something.” She moved aside a chunk of a plastic storage bin and revealed the tan material of deer skin and the gory remains of the priest’s upper body.

  “Do you see the amulet?”

  “Not yet. Just the deer skin.” She moved a board and caught a glimpse of something red and sparkly.

  The moans of the dead grew louder behind them.

  “I think I see it!” She reached down and grabbed at the place she’d seen the red sparkle. Her hand wrapped around a large dangling gem. She slid her hand up, finding the core of the amulet and gripped it. She pulled hard and the amulet came up, but stopped short; it still hung from the priest’s neck.

  “Dammit!” She pulled hard and the remains of the priest rose up from the rubble it was buried under. The priest’s head was rolled to the side, eyes closed. She grabbed the front of his tunic with her left hand and lifted the chain to take it off him.

  “I’ve got it, I just need to...,”

  As JJ pulled the ancient leather strap over the priest’s head, his neck twisted around, eyes opening revealing the burning red embers of his cursed soul, freezing her where she stood. His mouth opened in a ghastly inhalation that felt like it was sucking the life right out of her.

  “Ommmgrrlettt!” The priest gurgled, releasing a putrid stench that made JJ dizzy. Then his neck snapped forward and he bit down on the leather of her coat sleeve and began to tear into her.

  JJ screamed.

  Part XIII - Once Bitten

  The butt of a shotgun swung down and knocked the priest’s head back, crushing his skull.

  JJ screamed louder.

  Jonah shouted, “What’s happening?!”

  The priest’s eyes flared and then faded to dark.

  “C’mon,” Judas said. “The priest is dead. Let’s get out of here.” He tugged on JJ’s arm. “Grab Jonah’s hand and follow me.”

  She did as she was told, screaming and panting, trying to catch her breath.

  Judas’s shotgun blasted a pair of zombies from in front of them and he led them to the truck.

  “Jonah, can you see?” his brother shouted at him.

  “No, I can’t see shit. Everything is red. I can see vague shapes but that’s it.”

  They were at the driver’s door and Judas opened it. “Looks like I’m driving then.” He pushed Jonah forward. “Get in quick and crawl to the other side.”

  “You next honey,” he said to JJ who was bent over looking like she might throw up. Around them the remaining horde of zombies closed in.

  “C’mon, move it,” he said and grabbed her arm, pulling her up. That’s when he saw the large chunk of leather missing from her sleeve. A dark liquid ooze dripped from the torn coat. JJ cried and trembled.

  “Oh sh--,”

  Next to them, the truck rocked as zombies scratched at the passenger door trying to get at Jonah. “Get in here,” Jonah yelled.

  “But Jonah—,” Judas started.

  “Now! Let’s go!” Jonah grabbed his door handle, which shook from the zombies hitting it from outside.

  Judas pulled JJ to him, grabbed her by her ass and tossed her into the cab of the truck. She gasped and let out a yelp as she landed. She scrambled into the middle seat and turned back to look at him. Her eyes were wet, her make-up smudged and running in black rivulets down her cheeks.

  ‘Beautiful’ was all he could think, then she was screaming.

  Judas felt the hand on his shoulder and screamed back. He swung the butt of his shotgun behind him, knocking the dead form away. He jumped into the driver’s seat and slammed his door. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!”

  Sasha started with a roar but when he pushed in the clutch and shifted into first, the shifter fell right back out, the 8-ball displaying, ‘Ask again later’.

  “Jonah, she won’t go into first.”

  “What?”

  “It just falls right out.”

  “Try second.”

  He did and it popped right back into neutral. This time it read, ‘Don’t count on it’

  The sound of metal twisting filled the air and the top of the passenger side door bent out, creating a gap. Oozing fingers pushed in the hole, grasping at Jonah. The truck rocked.

  “Try reverse,” JJ said.

  Judas looked at her. “Then you better spread ‘em honey, Sasha’s gonna get up close and personal.”

  JJ spread her legs as far apart as she could, pressing them against the two brothers on either side of her.

  Judas moved the stick into reverse, which pushed tight into the vee of JJ’s legs and released the clutch. It caught and Sasha coughed and died. The truck lurched backward, knocking some of the zombies away.

  “Clutch, shift, gas and release,” Jonah said. “C’mon lil brother, you got this.” The passenger window exploded as the door was pulled further away from the cab of the truck.

  Sasha roared back to life. Judas pushed hard on the clutch and slammed the stick into reverse, causing JJ to cry out in pain as it struck the inside of her thigh. Dead fingers clawed at Jonah’s shirt.

  Judas pushed on the gas and let the clutch out. The transmission groaned, clanked and the truck rolled backward. The hands reaching in the window fell away. The truck jolted back and forth as it knocked down and ran over the zombies behind them.

  “What now, Jonah?”

  “Get us back to the Hembrooks’ house.”

  “In reverse?” The shifter vibrated violently in his clenched fist.

  “Do you have another gear to use?”

  “No, but I don’t want to stay in reverse either, it feels like it’s going to explode!”

  “Just get us pointing downhill. Gravity will take care of the rest.”

  JJ cried out, “Ahhhh!”

  “What’s happening?” Jonah asked.

  Judas glanced at JJ then back out the rear window as he turned the wheel. Her eyes were closed and her mascara was running in long streaks down her cheeks.

  “Uhhhh,” she let out a deep moan.

  “I think she’s been bit, Jonah. Oh shit, oh shit! That priest tore right through her coat. Her face is pale and she’s starting to drool. I think she’s turning.”

  The truck swung wildly as Judas spun the wheel and rounded through the gate. JJ was flung forward, smacking her hands against the dash. The stereo turned on.

  Classical music blasted to life from the speakers.

  “Find something to put in her mouth, Jonah. Keep her from biting us when she changes.”

  Sasha bounced and bucked as they ran into another group of zombies and proceeded to drive right over them. JJ fell back against the seat, screaming. “Ahhh, uhhhh.” Bubbling foam formed around her lips and her eyelids were half open with only the whites showing.

  Jonah scrambled blindly, opening the glove box and finding it empty
except for a tire gauge and a king-size package of peanut butter cups. He tore it open and poured all three into his hand.

  The truck swooped in a wide arc as Judas tried to manage the first switchback. The stereo blasted Carl Orff’s classic climax to ‘O’Fortuna’, the voices chanting to a crescendo.

  Jonah closed his left eye and squinted with his right to make out the vague shape of JJ’s head next to him.

  “Uhhhh,” she groaned, panting and crying, her whole body shaking and her mouth gaping.

  “She’s turning Jonah, she’s turning!”

  Jonah aimed for where he hoped her mouth was and shoved the stack of peanut butter cups in.

  JJ’s hands shot down, grabbing one of each brother’s legs. Her nails dug into their flesh as she cried out even louder and bit down on the candy.

  The brothers screamed. Sasha screamed. Xanadu cowered on the floor and the magic 8-ball read, ‘Better not tell you now’.

  Completely missing the turn, Sasha’s rear smashed through the guard rail and went over the edge.

  Part XIV - And Chocolate

  Metal crashed, glass broke. Humans screamed, tree limbs snapped. A dog barked on the floor and zombies moaned from the hillside above them.

  Sasha came to a hard stop, knocking the three of them back against the bench seat.

  “Jonah,” Judas said in a gasping whisper, “you...?”

  “Yeah,” Jonah groaned back, leaning forward and shaking his head. “Hurting, but here. I can see... kinda.”

  They both turned as the hands that still dug into their flesh loosened.

  JJ’s tongue ran across her upper lip in a slow arc, licking away melted chocolate. Her eyes were wide and wet. She grabbed the 8-ball stick shift from between her legs and pushed it forward.

  She looked from Judas to Jonah, grinning like a mad woman. “Orgasms and chocolate? Oh my!”

  The brothers leaned forward and looked at each other across the cab of the truck, then to JJ. “You’re alive?” they asked, stunned.

  “Alive?” she shouted, looking quickly back and forth between the two of them, then she slammed her hands back down. The brothers cried out in pained surprise. “I’m flying. I’ve never felt as alive as I do right now.”