by H A Dawson
My mother had clearly studied each role. She had also printed off some information for me to peruse, including job vacancies and courses available to me that would expand my knowledge base. It was an uplifting feeling, and for the first time in days, I felt as though I’d been handed an opportunity to seek out a better future.
However, it didn’t take long for my mother to remind me of the blemishes on my record that were bound to go against me as I tried to seek employment. She was careful to avoid saying that she believed me guilty, which was a blessing, yet I couldn’t forget the comments she had made during our previous conversation.
‘I think it’s time we were leaving,’ she said.
‘We?’
‘Yes, we. I’ve made you an appointment with a defence lawyer in Brentworth. They specialise in Nurse and Midwife Council hearings, such as yours. Mrs Urwin is one of the best in the field. It’s in a little over an hour’s time.’
My heart skipped a beat. ‘But I’m not prepared. I can’t do this now.’
‘Of course, you can. Go get your documentation, put on a nice jacket and heels, and we’ll go.’
‘But …’
‘No buts. You know what happened. What is there to plan? And I had to work hard to get a quick appointment.’ She smiled. ‘Your father has connections with one of the partners in the firm.’
My mind was a whirl and I couldn’t think straight, so I did as instructed and hurried upstairs to gather the necessary information. Once I’d placed it on the bed, I checked my appearance in a full-length mirror. I wanted to look smart and professional, and whilst my floral blouse was only delicately patterned, I changed into a plain lemon-coloured blouse, changed my earrings to something more subtle, and donned my heels and black fitted jacket. Then, I progressed downstairs.
Mum was waiting for me in the hallway. She scanned me up and down, nodded her approval, and we progressed to her car and commenced our journey.
Since my nervousness was all-consuming, I didn’t start any conversations and kept my replies to a minimum. Instead, I ran through the questions that Mrs Urwin was likely to ask me and I rehearsed my responses. I feared I would get so far and stumble over my explanation; I feared I would forget something important; I feared I was wasting her time and that Mrs Urwin would have no means of defending me.
I glanced at Mum. ‘This is going to be expensive. My union representative said they’d have put together a defence for me. Are you sure we’re doing the right thing?’
‘Are you innocent?’
‘One hundred percent!’
‘Then it’ll be worth it.’
I folded her arms and glanced through the side window at the semi-detached houses lining the roads, the traffic in queues on the side streets, and a school playing field full of energetic youngsters. I wasn’t as convinced as she was by her suggestion and felt scared that I would let her down. In fact, the more I thought about it, the more inevitable it seemed. If I couldn’t persuade my manager and the other hospital staff of my innocence then how was I going to be able to persuade a stranger?
‘Have faith, Ebony,’ Mum said. ‘These people know what they’re doing. If you’re innocent, as you say you are, then Mrs Urwin will be able to prove it.’
‘I am innocent,’ I said firmly, ‘but proving it will be another matter. If I was her, I wouldn’t know where to start.’
‘Which is the reason we’re hiring someone for this. Give me some credit, darling. I do know what I’m doing.’
I doubted she did, but I didn’t want to admit to it. I had a horrid feeling regarding everything that was going on and firmly believed that someone at the hospital—notably Sheila—wanted me to suffer. Mrs Urwin may be one of the best in her business, but if my department didn’t want my innocence proving then I doubted that there would be a thing she could do about it.
Whilst my gut churned, Mum followed the ring road to the next city. Then she approached a junction, progressed into the right-hand lane and made the turn. We followed a sign leading to an industrial complex for a couple of miles before parking in the visitor's section outside a modern three-storey building. A cobbled walkway was before us. It weaved through a garden area with a sculptured fountain in the style of a serpent at one side, and led to an impressive entrance with pillars and rotating glass doors.
Upon our arrival, our eyes locked.
‘Just be yourself and tell the truth and you’ll be fine,’ Mum said.
I nodded, took a deep breath, and we stepped into the lobby. Decorated in a caramel colour, the business name and logo was high on the wall above the reception desk and two cream leather chairs. The desk had a marble surround, and aside from a small computer, it was free of clutter.
‘How can I help you?’ the receptionist asked.
‘We have an appointment with Mrs Urwin,’ Mum said. ‘It’s for my daughter, Ebony Quimby.’
She gazed at the computer screen, pressed a couple of keys on the keypad, and told us to take a seat.
My nervousness gripped me and I struggled to still my mind. Trying to gain clarity to my thoughts, I went through the medication error incident and reflected upon the conversation I’d had with Sheila thereafter. Regrettably, the panic and dread that I’d experienced at the time became my predominant thoughts and it did little to ease my anxious state.
My mother must have noticed my unease as she touched my leg, and when she caught my attention, smiled encouragingly. Her behaviour surprised me. I tried to thank her for everything she was doing for me. No words came free.
Moments later, a young man appeared from a door next to the reception desk, greeted us warmly, and guided us away. We progressed along a corridor with paintings on the walls on either side, to lifts at the end. Since we were only progressing up one flight of stairs, we declined the man’s offer to wait for a lift and went up the glass staircase overlooking the car park and nearby buildings.
Everything about the place screamed expense whether it was the pristine feel or the quality of the décor. There was even a beautiful floral aroma in the air. Someone, clearly, had an eye for detail. It boded well.
Soon, we arrived at our destination and were introduced to Mrs Urwin. She was a tall slender woman with a bit of stoop, and whilst she had an air of authority about her, she had an affable side too and I relaxed in her company. However, at the same time, I was aware I was involved in a serious situation and tried to keep out all my emotions and anything unconnected to my suspension from the conversation. I wanted to impress her and not display any signs that I was anything but meticulous with all that I did. I also wanted to show her I had some intelligence and considered my comments before I spoke.
For the first part of the session, we discussed the procedure that she would follow and the outcome she hoped to achieve. Then, once I’d summarised the incidents that had caused my suspension, she scanned some documents. As she did so, my mother’s persistent stare caught my attention, and she mouthed something to me. At first, I didn’t know what she was trying to say to me. Then I remembered that I hadn’t told her of the alcohol incident and my shame arose.
For a few seconds, I wished I’d told her. When I realised that she wouldn’t choose to harangue me in front of Mrs Urwin, I decided it might be a good thing. Maybe, by the time we had finished, her mind would be on other things.
Mrs Urwin looked up. ‘Can you talk through the alcohol incident first?’ she said.
I took a deep breath, told her how there had been two incidents, and then added that it was the second one that had been recorded in my notes. I went on to tell her that I had one drink the night before and none thereafter. I knew it sounded bizarre and expected her to question my statement, but she didn’t. Instead, she asked me a multitude of questions regarding my drinking habits starting twelve hours before and progressing until my shift finished. I answered everything as honestly I could and finished by declaring my innocence.
Next, she progressed to the medication error. Since she was a defence lawyer
for nurses and midwives, she was familiar with the procedure we always applied in that we had to check the medication was for the right patient, medication, route, dose and time. It made my explanation easier, although it didn’t help me prove my innocence, and my anxiety increased.
I was more uptight than I had been for the alcohol incident since a patient had died, and I couldn’t keep it from my voice and body language. Mrs Urwin must have noticed although she didn’t comment, and remained non-judgemental and non-emotional at all times.
Her behaviour was settling. I wasn’t out for sympathy. I was out to prove my innocence and believed she would try her hardest to do that for me. Whether she agreed with me or not was another matter. If she was as professional as she claimed, I didn’t think it would matter.
For the next twenty minutes or so, we talked about the subject and discussed elements of my patient’s prognosis, the other medical staff on duty in the ward, and any visitors that were present. We also chatted about my inability to notice the changes in her behaviour and my apparent negligence. I told her the truth in that I had seen no changes during the moments when I had passed by her bed, and I denied being negligent.
She didn’t question me any further, leading me to assume that she believed I spoke the truth. I suspected she was a good judge of character and must have had to defend nurses who’d she’d believed to be guilty of crimes. I wasn’t certain I could do that. Perhaps that was why I was a nurse rather than a defence lawyer.
My interview was over and I left feeling buoyant. Maybe I was foolish to think that she would find a way of preventing me from losing my nursing licence, but it was how I felt. Mrs Urwin may not have said she would be able to win the case, but her professionalism had given me a reason to be optimistic.
I turned to Mum. ‘Thanks for doing this. I appreciate it.’
Her expression was serious.
‘I feel more hopeful now, don’t you?’
She unlocked the car and climbed inside. ‘I don’t think you should get ahead of yourself and expect the charges to be removed. I think it would be wise for you to look for another career.’
‘Do you think I’m guilty?’
‘What I think doesn’t matter. What is important is what those at the hearing think.’
My throat tightened. ‘You don’t think I’ll win this battle, do you?’
‘Let’s just wait and see.’
Suddenly deflated, I lowered my head. As much as I hated to admit it, she was right to have doubts. There was no point in getting ahead of myself and treating the situation as though it was already over. I had to face reality, and for now, the situation was unclear.
For the remainder of my journey home, we spoke sparingly and I buried myself in my thoughts. As we approached my home, I wondered if what I’d shared with my Mrs Urwin was keeping Mum’s silence, and for a few moments, I was desperate to find out. However, common sense won through in the end, and to save us from arguing, I said nothing, thanked her again for all she had done, and we parted company.
The house was empty. Once I’d taken off my jacket and placed my bag on the table, I extracted my phone and took it the lounge. I hoped that there was a message from Glenn, but sadly, there wasn’t. I was wondering whether I was brave enough to contact him when I opened a voicemail message from Lauren.
She said her health had taken a turn for her worse and shared snippets before spilling out her desperation regarding Austin. Whilst her comments were a concern, I learned more from the tone of her voice and could tell she was depressed. It was a painful listen and I feared that she was going to try to commit suicide again. I didn’t want that, but neither did I wish to be at her disposal every time she made contact. I had my own problems to consider; In addition, I had told Kelly that I was going to try to limit the time I was to spend with her.
Could I do that?
Was it even right to behave that way?
Suddenly, I wasn’t so certain, and held tight the phone in my hand and wondered what to do. In incoming text message broke me from my dilemma. I glanced at my phone and having noticed the sender was unknown, opened it up.
It was a warning: ‘Help Lauren and bad things will keep on happening to you. It’s your choice.’
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H A Dawson - Catalogue 1
Girl On A Train (Walking The Pendulum)
Main Character:- Megan Armstrong
Megan can no longer endure the mental torture. Despite the consequences she moves away from her hometown. As the train draws closer to her destination she collapses drowned by waves of intense hallucinations. The physical effects are temporary, exaggerating her already stressed mental state. What is she to do? Megan does not recognise the vague faces and has no recollection of the violence that ensues. Is this to become her fate?
Beds of Rusty Nails (One Big Lie)
Main Character:- Leanne Stark
Decades have past since Leanne's grandmother inherited a vast house after a fatal shooting. These events have remained a tight secret, never broached nor discussed. Leanne grows up believing her mother is dead, that is, until her grandmother dies. She is confounded by the protracted deception, and a gnawing sense of betrayal. The consequences of her grandmother's actions span generations; the locals struggle with the emerging truth; greed, death, and revenge linger. Desperate for consolation Leanne sets herself a quest to uncover this mysterious past. For professional backup, she engages the successful team of Luke Adams and Imogen Morrison.
Crossing Forbidden Margins(Silent Screams)
Main Character:- Brittany Handley
Brittany lives in a state of limbo, her life seems to be shortening at a terrifying pace, she urgently needs a kidney transplant. Michelle her mother is due for release from prison, but why has she avoided any contact with Brittany. The pressure's mounting, close to it's limits, amidst some very suspicious behaviour from hospital staff. Is there some unscrupulous scheming in these hospital corridors?
Stumbling In A Smoky Haze
Main Character :- Jade Horton
Jade's experiences amounted to nothing when a new torment crashed into her comfortable life. Someone knew her intimately, but she hadn't any clues to this person's identity. It seemed impossible for a stranger to gather such extensive knowledge of her life history, it was the threat of a stalker that reinforced her anxieties.
Jade's past has been turbulent, she suffers from a form of amnesia, she wishes her memory would unlock and solve all the issues that have accumulated through the years. She's petrified of every situation she can not control, and now her existence is in the "path of a stampeding herd of elephants"
Jade had attended school with Luke Adams, now she seeks his help, Imogen Morrison proves herself to be indispensable in a case that puts pressure on everyone connected with Jade. People may resort to extreme measures to gain attention even "torture" no one could have predicted the impact.
"The more you contrive to conceal, the greater the possibility it will be revealed"
Withering Truth
A family becomes a target for threats. Ominous messages indicate someone has knowledge about some distasteful facts linked to the holocaust. A child has already died what else has the"enemy" planned to destroy innocent lives?
For more book information Click/Tap Catalogue 2
H A Dawson - Catalogue 2
Drowned By Distant Murmurs
A heart wrenching mystery recounting the married life of Catherine, an isolated woman from the early 20th century, burdened by an indifferent husband, child deaths, accusations, a disbelieving family, with the only moral support stemming from her modern thinking sister. Eventually she crumbles, someone has to accept the consequences, there are always those in denial.
100 years later Michaela moves into Catherine's house, she is related and the stories and rumours have a bearing on her behaviour. She is a determined woman but is rattled by the locals comments and their speculation.
The entire situation convinces Michaela of Catherine's innocence, absorbing her in unearthing facts of Catherine's demise. Her investigation and delving for evidence disturbs certain people who have secrets of their own.
Morrison & Adams - Novellas
Twist Of A Steel Bracelet
Morrison Adams - Brief case series - Book 1