Assigned

by Paris Wynters

  “Oh.” I scratch the back of my head. “How’d they take it?”

  “They were a bit melancholy, especially your mom.” Lisa steps closer and places a hand on my shoulder. “But I reinforced we are still family.”

  I nod. “Thank you.”

  “Now, go get your girl…and tell your parents before it slips out.”

  We say our goodbyes, and I get into my truck and crank up the A/C. After taking a moment for myself to clear my head, I pull out the letter from Riley that came in that morning’s mail and read it all again.

  Dear Lucas,

  I didn’t have the courage to finish what I needed to tell you before I left. I know you might tear this up without reading it, but I’m hoping you don’t. I’m hoping you’ll read it to the end.

  I did join the program for the health insurance. I saw it as a way to get what I needed until I could manage to get it for myself. I couldn’t take another second in my parents’ house with my mother and father hovering over me, watching every second for something to go wrong. I ran from them and then had to face the consequences of doing that. I was desperate. I heard about the program and leapt at it like it was a lifeline.

  And it was a lifeline. A literal one. Because of my condition, I can’t be without healthcare for long.

  Then Lieutenant Graham told me I was assigned to you. I tried to get him to match me with someone else. I’d hurt you before and I didn’t want to hurt you again. I didn’t want to hurt me again, either. Breaking up with you and sending you away was one of the most painful things I’ve ever experienced and you’ve seen what my stomach looks like. You know what kind of pain I’ve endured.

  They were vehement, though. This was the match they’d made, and they’d made it for a reason. If I wasn’t going to follow their suggestions, maybe I should get out of the program. I couldn’t risk that. Like I said, I was desperate.

  Then I saw you and spent time with you. I saw you with Mason and I saw your tenderness. I saw you with your teammates and I saw your capacity for joy.

  I’m not going to lie about this. I saw you and my body responded in ways that I had forgotten it could. You made me feel like a woman again, Lucas. A whole one. You made me feel strong and sexy and confident for the first time in years. Then I got the call from Dr. Patel and I knew that strong, sexy, confident Riley was a dream, and I was getting my rude awakening. I’m not strong and I can’t lean on you for everything I need.

  I love you, Lucas. I love you more than I can say. That’s why I had to leave. I had to have another surgery. There was no way around it. Not if I wanted to live. It’s turned out to be just one surgery, but at the time there wasn’t a guarantee, and I knew how very wrong things can go. After all, I went in for an appendectomy, something they do hundreds of times a day with no problems, and I’ve been in and out of hospitals ever since. I know not to count on the law of averages to give me a good outcome.

  And there’s one more thing. With all the surgeries and no guarantee I won’t need others, somewhere along the line I decided I didn’t want to have children. But I shouldn’t make it seem like it’s only because of my health. Truthfully, I’ve never had the desire to have my own children. I don’t hate them. Hell, I love and adore Mason and was super happy to be a stepmom to him.

  You deserve a woman you can rely on, not one who has to rely on you. Someone who will be open to expanding your family. Mason deserves a stepmom who can be there for him one hundred percent all the time. I want to be that person, but I can’t, and Lisa is going to make sure you and Mason pay for that. I can’t have that. I love you both too much.

  I’m not going to lie this time. I see now how much pain I caused you by not explaining why I broke up with you before. I thought I was making it easier for you to walk away, but instead, I made you doubt yourself and the kind of man you were and are. You’re a good man, Lucas. That’s why I asked to be released from the program. I hope you find the kind of woman you deserve, whether it’s through the program or not.

  All my love,

  Riley

  I refold the letter and realize I’ve done nothing but go around in a big circle. Pushed myself physically and mentally to be part of one of the most elite forces in the United States military, only to find that, emotionally, I haven’t traveled an inch.

  Fourteen years ago, Riley ended our relationship because she was ill and didn’t want to put that responsibility on me. I’d walked away without a backward glance. Maybe if I had fought for her, I would have known what was happening and could have proved to her—and to her father—I was man enough to take care of her. I hadn’t, though. Hadn’t even tried.

  Turns out I wasn’t the kind of person I’d want my own son to be with. I’d want someone to fight for him. To at least try.

  Now Riley’s doing the same thing again. Cutting herself off from me so I can go forward unencumbered. Well, Goddamn it, I don’t want to be unencumbered. I want Riley. I want her in my life, in my house, in my arms, and in my bed.

  And maybe there might be limitations of what I can offer because of my job. Limitations in what I can offer Riley, in what I can offer Mason. But what I can do for both of them now is to lead by example. To show my son not only how to love, but how to show that love.

  Which means there’s only one thing to do.

  I’m going to go get my girl.

  Chapter Thirty

  Riley

  I sink farther into the mattress and pillow, my eyes focused on the envelope lying on the nightstand. Its contents didn’t hold words of sympathy or love or understanding. Just legal jargon that the annulment was official. Yet, the letter cut deep. If only those words included information on how Lucas’s custody issues were going maybe I’d feel better. Maybe I’d feel justified in my actions.

  But I don’t know and therefore, no relief exists from the nagging feeling I made the wrong decision.

  “Get the hell out of my house!” My father’s baritone voice reverberates all the way into my bedroom upstairs and pulls me from my melancholy stupor.

  “What the heck?” I get out of bed and head toward the staircase curious as to who the hell he is yelling at. Though, also because I need a distraction from rereading the letter for the twentieth time in less than twenty-four hours. My father growls loudly and I swear the grand chandelier shakes. Daddy is clearly fixing to open a full can of whoop-ass on whoever is the target of his wrath. But who could have him so worked up? Maybe one of the horse trainers?

  I freeze on the landing, gripping the banister, when a familiar voice catches my attention. A low growl whose rumble I feel in my very bones. “There isn’t another man who will love her as much as I do.”

  Lucas.

  My heart beats faster. I suck in a breath and head down the steps toward the ground floor.

  “Love doesn’t pay the bills, young man. It doesn’t make sure she gets to the best doctors and has access to the most up-to-date treatments and medications. It doesn’t sit by her hospital bed after a surgery or nurse her until she’s back on her feet,” Mom says.

  They’re all down there together.

  I take a second before turning the corner that leads from the foyer into the living room. When I finally do, air rushes from my lungs. He’s here. He’s actually here. Lucas. He’s come back for me. His broad shoulders make the living room look considerably smaller. I inch closer, partly because I’m in shock, and partly because he and my father are still squaring off with one another. Part of me wants to step in and settle this between them, but they need to work out their issues. The two of them need to come to terms with each other without me playing referee.

  But the floorboard squeaks and the three of them spot me. Lucas slips his hands into his pockets, his gaze shifting from me to the floor and back again, as if he’s struggling to keep it focused.

  “Lucas.” When I say his name, his gaze rests on me and heat rushes through my body. His handsome face, always so serious, stays turned to me even as his shoulders hunch a bit. F
or a second, I see Mason too. I see the bit of boy inside the man and my heart nearly bursts.

  “Riley, go back upstairs. Your mother and I will handle this,” Dad says, turning away from me, probably assuming I’ll do as I’m told.

  Lucas goes rigid, but remains silent. We were in this exact same circumstance years ago. I made the mistake of sending Lucas away, then. Not this time.

  “No.” I step closer until I’m standing at Lucas’s side. “I told you when it comes to Lucas, this has to stop. It was my decision to leave, and that does not make him a bad guy.”

  “You didn’t have to leave, Riley. You should have given me a chance.” While the timbre of Lucas’s voice is warm, his words are shaky.

  I face him and meet his gaze. “I didn’t want to be a burden. I needed another surgery and there was always a chance I’d need another surgery after that. Lisa lost it when I had Inara pick Mason up one time. What was she going to do when she found out I might be in and out of the hospital for a while? That I might never be able to always be there. That there are limitations to what I can do. It’s bad enough putting you in a position where you might have to take care of me. To have my illness also mean that you might lose all custody of Mason was more than I could bear.”

  “Your father and I still don’t know why you signed up for such a program.” My mother makes a tsk-ing noise, then narrows her eyes and turns to Lucas. Her voice grows sharp and mean. “Did you put it in her head? Was there some benefit you got out of this?”

  My hand flies up, palm in my mother’s line of sight. “Mom! Enough!”

  Lucas takes that hand in his, then lowers it, and takes a deep breath. “No. I didn’t put anything in your daughter’s head. Riley told me she joined the program because she needed health benefits.” He holds his hand up when my mother opens her mouth to speak. “Said you both were suffocating her instead of letting her live the life she wants. She didn’t want to take anything more from you, and joining the program was a way to get the insurance she needed without relying on you.”

  My father growls while my mother rolls her eyes. “Ridiculous.”

  It wasn’t though. Even being back home, it’s difficult for them to truly understand. How do you get someone to see that you want their love and support, but still need some autonomy? I can yell, talk to them rationally, or even write a letter about it. But at the end of the day, until they can come to accept it, to recognize it on their own, it’s like fighting a never-ending battle.

  Lucas squeezes my hand. “There was no guarantee she’d end up with me. She didn’t even know I was in Virginia. But it happened. And I fell in love with her all over again.”

  He reaches out and turns my chin with his fingers to make sure our gazes are locked. I tremble at the way those words shake me at my very core. But Lucas isn’t finished.

  “You are the only woman I’ve ever truly loved. You’re a great stepmom to my son. You should have told me what was going on. You didn’t even give us a chance to work it out. To come up with a plan together.”

  “But Lisa—” I start, only to have Lucas cut me off.

  “Lisa understands. She didn’t have all the facts before. Made a judgement based on prior knowledge, one I can understand that I contributed toward. At the end of the day, she only wants the best for Mason. Just like you and me.” He pulls me a step closer to him and warmth rolls off his body.

  I look down at my feet, still not quite ready to meet the heat of his gaze. “I can’t always be there for Mason. Crohn’s is unpredictable. I don’t always know what’s going to set off a flare-up or when a doctor’s appointment is going to run long.”

  “Then I’ll be there, or if I can’t, Marge, Taya, and Inara will.” Lucas steps closer. “And guess what? My job limits me. You had to attend that parent-teacher conference because I couldn’t. Hell, I even missed Mason being born. Does that mean I love him any less? Or that he needs me any less?”

  My father clears his throat and I pin him with a glare. This time he actually heeds my warning and remains silent. I bite my lower lip and exhale hard through my nose. “They all have their own lives. I don’t want to be a hindrance to anyone.”

  Lucas laughs. “Hindrance? Who do you think was in the delivery room with Taya when Otto was born? Because it wasn’t Jim. We were away for work. Being there for each other is what the wives do. They’re their own team. And they adore you.” He pulls me in and wraps those muscular arms that I love so much around me. “Listen, leaning on someone when you need help doesn’t make you weak, Riley. Trust me, SEALs know that better than anyone. I’ve carried teammates out of the field, and they’ve carried me. I don’t think you’d ever call any of us weak. We call on each other’s strengths when we have to and step up for each other when we’re needed. You can turn to them for whatever help you need. You can come home for help like you did this time if you want, too. Just because you want to be independent, doesn’t mean you should exclude your parents.”

  My father coughs as if he choked on something. Yeah, I’m sure he didn’t expect that. My mother’s face is red and she’s twisting her hands together. “Maybe we misjudged, Carl,” she says, glancing at my father.

  Lucas shifts and his muscles tense. There’s more. He lowers his gaze away from mine. “But none of this matters if you don’t feel what I have to offer is enough for what you want for your life. I have my limitations, based on my job and my son, both of which are important to me.”

  Is this man for real?

  I reach out and place my fingertips under his chin, lifting his face so his eyes meet mine. “Lucas, you are way over the top enough and I am so lucky. We both don’t have a normal life. But what you try to give is more than many who can, actually do. And during this time, I’ve also learned how much like my father I may be. A big ole stubborn streak seems to run in my family’s blood when we get our mind set on something.”

  He chuckles and steps away from me and toward my father. “Sir, I know you feel I’m not good enough for your daughter, but I love her with everything I have. My son loves her. We aren’t a complete family without Riley.” He stands straighter, reaching his full height. He is a towering column of a man, strong and proud. He’s a living, breathing warrior and he’s here to fight for me. “Mr. Thompson, while Riley can make her own decisions, I would still like to ask your permission to ask for her hand in marriage.”

  What. The. Hell.

  Did not see that coming. Figured he might ask me to move back, take things slow. Date even. But not this. My mouth opens and closes, but no words come out. Tears stream down my face, but not from sadness. Maybe shock. Do people cry from being shocked? My father looks past Lucas to me. I can’t read his expression and I’m not sure what is running through his mind, but he keeps staring at me. So, I nod.

  He growls deep in his throat, but then gives Lucas a curt nod.

  It’s too much. My father backed down. He conceded to Lucas. Then my mother steps between them and wraps her arms around Lucas in a hug. My whole body shakes. I’m overrun with emotion. Love and relief and hope and joy leave me light-headed, and the man hasn’t even asked me to marry him yet.

  As if he can hear my thoughts, Lucas steps forward and gets down on one knee. “Riley Marie Thompson, will you do me the honor of being my wife?”

  I’m crying so hard no words will form and when I attempt to take a step, I collapse onto my knees. Lucas gathers me in his arms and places a soft kiss on my head. He holds me for what feels like minutes. Maybe it was that long, because all of a sudden, my mother is offering me a box of tissues.

  Lucas leans closer and speaks in a soft tone. “As for the other part of your letter. With everything I’ve gone through myself, I’m perfectly okay with Mason being my only child. Not sure I’d want to be a dad again knowing what I know now and how my job is.”

  I pull back to look him in the eyes. “What if you change your mind?”

  Lucas quirks a brow. “What if you change yours?”

  He’s got
a point. It has crossed my mind about what would happen if something happened to Taya and Jim. Neither have family outside of the group they can depend on. Though, Bear and Marge would be the most likely to be the legal guardians of their son. But what if Tony and Inara have kids? Lucas is Tony’s best friend. And I would totally support welcoming their kid into our family if it came down to it. So, maybe my mind might change one day, especially with all the ways there are to expand a family.

  I wipe my face and pull away from Lucas. His brows furrow, but I pat his hard chest. “I’ll be right back.”

  While I want to race up the stairs to my room, my pace is slow, thanks to the incisions that are still healing. Each step takes extra strength and I begin to realize that my parents might not be completely ridiculous. Maybe taking it easy would be in my best interest. But later. Right now I need to do this. I have to do this.

  Once inside my room, I pull a shoebox from my closet. Then I grab my wallet from my purse and pull out the love letter Lucas wrote to me all those years ago. I take a few breaths and mentally prepare myself for both Lucas and the trek back downstairs.

  When I make it to the landing, everyone is standing at the bottom of the staircase. Lucas bounds up to me and scoops me into his arms. “Uh, why are you pushing the limits here? Your mom said you shouldn’t be walking around so much.”

  I scrunch my nose and purse my lips, shaking a finger at him, but he laughs and carries me downstairs. Once he sets me down on my feet, I open the box. “I kept every letter you ever wrote me. This one I’ve kept in my wallet. I’ve read it every day I was in a hospital and every time I couldn’t remember what hope and love felt like. This letter gave me strength.”

  I unfold it and read:

  I liked you the second I saw you and my feelings are growing stronger and stronger every day. Every new thing I learn about you makes my love grow. Sometimes I don’t think I can love you more, but then you do something brave and smart and kind and I do.

  My mother makes a strangled noise and I realize that she is sobbing. My father’s eyes are wet and so are Lucas’s. My own aren’t exactly dry. At least we’re all crying together.