by Ann Grech
We spent hours together going through the paid bills and the outstanding ones, all the papers from the Army regarding Anna’s lack of life insurance, and sorting out her estate and the utilities that still needed to be transferred to my name or canceled. It was a load off my mind at the same time as being embarrassing as hell. I was about to be homeless. These men had come halfway around the world to see me, and I didn’t even have a place for us to stay after three weeks. What kind of father was I going to be if I didn’t have anywhere for Gracie to sleep at night?
“Hey, you’ve disappeared inside your head again,” Rick prodded. “What’s got you worried?”
He followed me when I stood and began pacing. I couldn’t hold back when he cupped my face with those strong hands, hands that could control a helicopter in some of the world’s toughest terrain with ease.
The words just spilled from my lips at that point, voicing every worry. He let me speak, get everything off my chest, lending me his strength. But it wasn’t just him supporting me. Mace stood behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me back against his chest. Being in the middle of these men would, on any given day, be my fantasy come to life, but at that moment I needed more than the quick fuck I’d thought I wanted before. I needed their reassurance, their friendship, and they gave it freely.
When my words stopped and I stood exhausted between them, Rick kissed me softly. “Mace is going to put you to bed. You’re going to sleep for as long as you need. I’ll stay up and feed Gracie when she wakes up, get groceries ordered and do the few other things you need by tomorrow. Then, when I’m ready to sleep too, I’ll join you. I respect that you don’t want anyone in Anna’s bed. Neither of us would take that from you.”
I wanted to kiss him, and it occurred to me that he’d already kissed me in front of Mace, and I’d done the same to Mace while he was watching. It also occurred to me that I was acting like an insecure teenager.
I leaned in and brushed my lips against his with a barely-there touch, and that time he deepened it, pulling me against him and taking complete control. The touch of his hands, his lips, his tongue left me tingling. I moaned and gripped his shirt harder, rubbing myself against his leg, which was pressed between my own. Each thrust had me moving my ass against Mace’s hard cock, the ridge of it making my hole clench, desperation filling me. I was a jumbled mess, but in their arms, need eclipsed everything.
“Baby, you’re so keyed up. How long’s it been since you’ve been with someone?” Rick rasped.
I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, but somehow I managed, “When I was on tour. Before everything went to shit.” Mace growled at my response, squeezing my hips and grinding his dick against me. “Was thinking about both of you the whole time he blew me. Wanted you to be doing it instead of him. Wanted to be doing it to you.” My blunt honesty seemed to please them, and it just made me want them more. Desire ignited through me.
“What about getting yourself off? When did you jack off last?”
I would’ve been mortified by his questions if there was any blood in my brain. “Before Anna.” I stilled. Before Annalise died. Before everything changed.
There were no more words spoken, but they worked as one to piece me back together. I was guided into the bedroom I’d pointed to and they laid me down, one on either side, caressing and kissing me. Mace slipped his hand under my worn tee and I arched into his touch. Raw like an exposed nerve, I was overwhelmed and yet needed so much more. On his knees before me, Mace lifted my shirt and Rick pulled it over my head, tossing it on the floor. Bare in the warm Florida afternoon, the flat buds of my nipples pebbled, and I shuddered out a moan when Mace licked first one, then the other.
“Fuck,” I hissed. “Please.” I wasn’t sure what I was asking for, but I needed more.
Mace obliged, undoing the button and zipper on my cargos. He tugged them open, my cock throbbing at the closeness of their hands and their mouths. God, I wanted them so badly. Soft kisses trailed down my stomach to my navel, and I moaned again, fisting the sheets. Needing to be closer to them, I reached up, touching first Mace’s nearly bald head, then Rick’s thick mop. A shudder ran through me as I tentatively guided them where I wanted them. A chuckle left Rick, and I gasped at the puff of warm breath directly over my cock.
“Want my mouth on your dick?” he asked.
“Please,” I begged again and they obliged, pulling my cargos and underwear down together. A strong hand wrapped around my dick and leisurely pumped, making me cry out in ecstasy. I was locked up tight, and the firm grip ratcheted me up another notch, bringing me closer to an implosion of epic proportions.
“That’s it, baby,” Rick encouraged.
Firm lips closed over my crown and I gasped, thrusting into the warm, wet cavern. I cracked open my eyes and nearly lost it on the spot. Rick was between my legs, looking at Mace with barely contained lust as he swirled his tongue around, scrambling my brain. My body was chasing release, and I was going to come embarrassingly fast from that talented mouth.
When Mace kissed my hip and reached for my balls, cupping and tugging gently, I was a goner. I whimpered and thrust my hips forward before Rick pinched my nipple and Mace gripped me harder. I had no hope after that. The tingle that’d been a low-level buzzing before exploded through me as my orgasm hit like a tsunami. I came with a strained shout and emptied my load deep down Rick’s throat.
Breathless, I floated, completely blissed out as I watched Mace pull Rick into a kiss. Their lips met, tongues tangling, and it was one of the most spectacular visions I’d ever seen. They were all masculine beauty and raw sex, and I didn’t experience a single iota of jealousy. A wave of rightness washed over me, like fate had stepped in and fixed everything.
“Our first proper kiss,” Mace whispered against Rick’s lips with a smile. “Love the taste of you together,” he moaned before Rick deepened the kiss again. I sat up slowly and ran my fingertips over their stubbled cheeks, sighing as Mace wrapped his big arm around me and pulled me closer. I rested my head against his shoulder and Rick broke away, pressing a kiss to my temple.
“I think we should have that talk now,” Mace suggested, and Rick nodded. I just hummed, starting to fall asleep.
“Or maybe we should wait,” he added.
“Get some sleep, Caden,” Rick whispered. “We’ll be here when you wake up.”
“Promise?” I whispered.
His response, murmured against my temple as he kissed me and Mace curled up behind me, solidified the rightness that’d swept over me when I saw them together. “You’re our man, Caden. We wouldn’t be anywhere else.”
Chapter Seven
Caden
I startled awake to a quiet house, birds chirping and what felt like a furnace surrounding me.
Blinking my eyes open, the memories from the night before flooded me: Mace and Rick caring for me and taking me to a place I’d never even dreamed of going, Rick’s promise that they’d still be there in the morning, and the bodies of the two sleeping men wrapped tightly around me. It was as if they were protecting me from the world, and I loved them for it.
Gracie. Shit.
I’d been so exhausted and wrapped up in myself that I’d forgotten about my little girl.
She must be starving. Fuck, why isn’t she crying?
I sprang out of bed and stumbled across the hall still naked, poking my head over her crib. She was sound asleep, peacefully wrapped in a swaddle that was done all wrong but was no less effective. Rick had stayed up with her like he’d promised. My heart tripped over itself, and I fell a little harder for both of them. Mace hadn’t left my side, holding me all night like he’d done when we were on tour. I’d been so stressed that I hadn’t slept properly in weeks, but he’d helped me through it then just like he’d done the night before. He was the only person I’d ever been able to fall asleep with and not have that morning-after awkwardness, even with us maintaining the façade that we were apparently straight. And Rick had kept his pr
omise, returning to me after he’d put Gracie back to sleep.
That single night of unbroken rest made all the difference. I wasn’t groggy, wasn’t in such desperate need for a shot of caffeine that it had to be in the form of an IV. I was happy. I had hope, even if there were dark clouds on the horizon.
Moving into the kitchen, I turned the coffee machine on, fished out some clean clothes from the laundry room, then sat down with my coffee, relaxing for the first time since I’d left New Zealand. Then again, it wasn’t so much kicking back as being content. I’d hit rock bottom, and they’d been there to pull me from its depths. I was still a mess, a definite work in progress, but for the first time in months—probably since Mom was diagnosed—I could see light.
Gracie’s grizzly cry had me jumping to prepare a bottle for her. From the note Rick had left, I calculated her last feed was nearly five hours earlier. That was far longer than she’d ever slept before, so I guessed she’d be starving.
Hurrying into her room before her cry grew too loud, I smiled over her prone form, reaching down to let her grasp my little finger. “Good morning, baby girl. You did good last night. You had a big sleep. I bet you’re hungry, yeah?” Unwrapping her, I picked her up and cuddled her close. “I filled out all the forms yesterday. You know what that means? I’ll be your daddy. It’s you and me like I said, our little team against the world.” I changed her diaper and redressed her before picking her up again.
“So, are there two more spots open on that team?” Mace asked, surprising me from the doorway. “Because I know two other guys who’d love to wear the colors.”
“Why me, Mace?” I asked quietly as I sat on the bed, Gracie in my arms. I wasn’t sure if I really wanted to know the answer, but it was a question I needed to ask nevertheless. Though I wasn’t brave enough to face him when he answered.
There was no hesitation in his response. “Reef said that when he met Ford, he knew there was something special about him. He couldn’t walk away, even though he had everything to lose. It’s the same reason why you stayed quiet about your sexuality. I’ve always thought of myself as straight, but I’ve also appreciated men as sexy. I just never thought much of it until I started spending more time with you.” Mace sat on the bed, facing me, one leg crossed over the other knee. It was the one spot I couldn’t look away from.
Reaching up, he cupped my cheek and pulled me in for a soft kiss that curled my toes with its sweet honesty. When he took Gracie and cuddled her to his chest, then plucked the formula from my hand and began feeding her again, I wanted to kiss him, to tell him that I’d been half in love with him for years.
“That’s when I fell for you, C. I’d wanted you for months. I thought it was impossible, but then you told me you were gay, and I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I didn’t understand yearning until then, until I realized I wanted more than just spending time with you.” He grinned wickedly at me and added, “I wanted to strip you naked and do things that a straight dude would absolutely not do to his friend.”
I barked out a laugh at that. He’d be surprised at how many “straight” dudes fucked their buddies or strangers to get off.
When Mace became serious again, I was captivated, hanging on his every word. “But it’s not just that. I want to spend time with you and be romantic and hold your hand and shit. Do all the things boyfriends do. It’s like my grand boyfriend plan.” He smiled, nodding. “Yeah, the boyfriend plan. That works.”
“I’d like that, Mace.” I smiled back at him, shy for some inexplicable reason. “But I still don’t understand why you want me.”
“Because you’re sexy and smart and kind and generous and strong and so many other things I admire. You pulled me in and gave me something no one else has ever given me—myself. I didn’t even know who I was until you helped me discover it. And this me really likes you, on your good and bad days.”
Oh God, his words. They meant everything. I had to touch him, to do something, but there were so many other questions I had that needed answering. I reached for Gracie instead and ran my thumb over her little head.
“What about Rick? Where does he fit into this grand boyfriend plan of yours?” I smirked at him, but I was deadly serious. I wanted both of them, and the small taste I had the night before confirmed how explosive our chemistry was, how right it was. I was crazy about Mace, and Rick was that perfect blend of hot, protective, and assertive that made him sexy as fuck. I wasn’t ready to give either of them up, even though I hardly had them.
“You felt it at Christmas, didn’t you? That day we met him? Then again during all those nights we were together at the hotel, and at the New Year’s party in the club? The dance floor was packed and we could barely move, but there we were, the perfect fit together. One of the hottest things I’ve ever experienced was dancing with you but not touching you. It was as if we recognized each other. I was drawn to him then as much as I was you. I think you were feeling it too.” He smiled when I nodded in understanding. “He’s so different from each of us, and it’s like he balances us. I don’t ever want you to think you’re not enough for me, because you are, but I need him too. Reef’s words keep coming back to me for both of you. I’m going to do the same thing he did—grab on and never let go.”
I had no idea what to say to him. He’d said everything right, but there were so many other things I needed to think about right then. “What do you want from me, Mace? As a boyfriend, I mean.” My nerves at not being enough, not stacking up to some ideal he had in his head, were getting the best of me.
“Everything and nothing. I don’t want to take anything from you, just to be there with you to experience life together. Whatever you’re prepared to give, I want to give you that and more in return. It doesn’t need to be complicated, but I don’t want any bullshit friends-with-benefits thing either. I’m in way too deep for that.”
My heart did a somersault in my chest and adrenaline coursed through me. But as perfect as his words were, the most important thing was left unspoken so far. “And Gracie?”
He didn’t even hesitate. “I want to be her daddy. Well, one of them anyway.”
I blew out a breath and closed my eyes, thanking the universe for not letting me fuck up my friendship with this man. I’d had enough opportunities to screw up already, and the fact that he was still next to me and so damn perfect meant everything.
“You okay, Caden?” Rick asked quietly from the doorway. I opened my eyes and nodded, not trusting my voice at that moment. “I want the same as Mace, you know. I want in on the grand boyfriend plan and the ‘you and Gracie against the world’ team, if you’ll have me.”
“You heard all that?” Mace asked, chuckling as he shook his head. “Could’ve helped me out.”
Rick smiled and walked over to Mace, running his hand over the other man’s head affectionately. “I didn’t need to. You said everything perfectly. And just for the record, I felt it at Christmas too. That’s why I asked you to visit me when the season ended. I wanted more time with both of you, and being together has only made me need you more.” Kneeling between my spread knees, he added, “You underestimate how wonderful a man you are, Caden. Your mistake doesn’t define you, and it doesn’t make you a bad person. All the loss you and your father have suffered isn’t karma. It’s not on you.”
I leaned forward into his open arms, and he continued, “If it takes me the rest of my life, I will prove to you that you’re worthy of what your sister saw in you. We”—he motioned between himself and Mace—"see the same thing in you. You are worthy of Gracie, and you’re worthy of happiness too. Give us the chance to give you that happiness. Let us love you.” Pulling back, he cupped my face in both hands and looked me in the eyes. “Please, baby. It’s unconventional, yes, but it’s real.”
“You’re helping me believe it is,” I whispered. “But can it work? Are we just… is it wrong? Should I even care if it is or isn’t?”
“It’s taken me a while to get my head around that. I struggled wit
h what kind of person it makes me if I’m attracted to two men, but Mason understood it and worked through it with me. He helped me get to a place where I’m comfortable being me. I didn’t hear what you said back to him about me, but if you feel anything for me like you might for Mason, please let me be there for you too.”
I closed my eyes and leaned my forehead against his. They’d given me so much of themselves. They were putting me back together, building me back up with every word, every gesture, and I loved that they would do it for me. Being brave and telling them where I was at was the least I could do.
I looked between them and laid it all out there. “I want you both. Mace, I’ve been lusting over you for years, but I had no idea what kind of man you were until we spent time together. And I like him too,” I added, borrowing his earlier line. I squeezed his forearm as he held Gracie. “And Rick, you made everything click into place.” I ran my fingertips over his stubbly cheek. “I’ve been struggling with the idea of the three of us together because I don’t want to give either of you up, and I didn’t think I could keep you both. But I’m a pretty fucked-up mess at the moment, and I don’t know if I can give you what you need. I can’t even get myself and Gracie sorted out.”
“From where I’m sitting, you’re doing a great job,” Mace supplied.
“You say that now, but you should’ve seen us two days ago. And there’s more shit about to go down, and I have no idea where to even begin with it.” I shook my head and gave voice to the thing that’d kept me up more nights than I could count. “I can’t work because I want to give Gracie my complete attention, but I need a job to get by.” I scrubbed my blunt nails over my scalp and groaned. “And now that I need to get a lease on a new place, it needs to happen fast.” I blew out a breath, my shoulders slumping with the heavy weight of responsibility on them. “I have a bit of money saved, but it’s not enough to stay home for months on end, and the one thing I thought might be good for me to do is gonna be minimum wage.”