Defender of Hearts

by Tanya Bird

  Keep the king safe, see him back to his quarters, then return to the barracks. He had done it a thousand times before. So why did the job feel like such a slog suddenly?

  Roul came to stand beside him, eyes sweeping the room.

  ‘Keep an eye on Lord Thomas,’ Astin said. ‘I don’t trust him.’

  Roul glanced in the lord’s direction. ‘Noted.’

  He knew he should not ask, but he did it anyway. ‘How did she seem this afternoon?’

  ‘Better since her sister arrived. She was a mess after the announcement.’

  Astin blinked slowly and said nothing.

  A moment later, Lyndal’s soft laughter rang out, drawing the attention of everyone around her. And there was that smile that could bring any man to his knees—except the king, apparently.

  Turning his attention back to Borin, he tried his best to shut her out.

  Lyndal tried very hard not to be sick all over herself in the middle of the crowded room. She had no idea how she was supposed to survive the evening under such intense scrutiny. Borin had a way of making her feel no better than the servants bringing out the food—extra problematic because she was no better than the servants bringing out the food. She was as common as they came, and everyone there knew it. She may have been more educated than some due to her mother’s extraordinary effort, but nowhere near as accomplished as the other women in the room. It was unfortunate that she was the only one with a plan to help the merchants. It meant she had to swallow down her nausea and keep that frozen smile on her face. Except every time her eyes drifted in Astin’s direction—which was far too often—it became harder and harder to maintain.

  It stung how easily he had slipped back into his life before her. But that was defenders for you. If only she could switch her feelings off so easily. He had a way of dominating the room by simply being present. It was partly due to his height but mostly his confidence. Why did he have to be so easy on the eye? Why did her insides float at the sight of him in his black uniform and leather armour?

  Lyndal spotted Kendra alone at the food table, so she excused herself from the conversation between Borin and Lady Petula. The two cousins had not spoken since Kendra’s sudden departure, and she could not stand the thought of there being bad blood between them.

  ‘I was hoping to see you tonight,’ Lyndal said, her stomach in knots.

  Kendra turned in surprise. ‘Cousin.’ She found a smile. ‘Congratulations. What happy news.’

  ‘Thank you.’ At least she was being civil. ‘I just wanted to say how sorry I am.’

  ‘For what?’

  Lyndal tilted her head. ‘You know what.’

  Kendra exhaled with relief. ‘It is me who should be apologising. I left you here believing I resented you. I do not resent you, I envy you. Every woman in this room envies you.’

  Lyndal had not been expecting that. ‘What?’

  ‘I understand if you no longer wish to—’

  She pulled her cousin to her, holding tightly. ‘I didn’t know about any of this before coming here. I swear to you. I was rooting for you.’

  ‘I know you were.’ Kendra pulled away. ‘Now, we must not set tongues wagging with emotional displays.’

  Lyndal exhaled. ‘See? You’re a better queen than me already.’

  ‘Nonsense.’ Kendra waved a hand. ‘I am simply more experienced in navigating this particular crowd.’

  Lyndal saw her uncle making his way towards them, his eyes fixed on her. She held her breath.

  ‘Niece,’ he said by way of greeting.

  She knew there was no chance of him calling her Lady Lyndal. Post-crown would be an interesting time. ‘You look well, Uncle.’

  He smiled, but it looked wrong. ‘I hear congratulations are in order.’

  She bowed her head. ‘Thank you.’ Her eyes went to the wall where her bodyguard was watching the exchange. She expected Roul to be keeping an eye on her—it was his job. But she found Astin watching her also. It seemed he was unable to break the habit.

  ‘I am pleased you could make it this evening, Lady Kendra,’ the king said, joining the group.

  Lyndal jumped at his sudden appearance. It was an unsettling thought that the two men standing on either side of her held all the power to make or break her between them.

  ‘Your Majesty,’ Kendra said, curtsying.

  Borin’s eyes moved over her. ‘My betrothed will soon be selecting her ladies-in-waiting, and I do hope to see you among them.’

  There was something in his tone that made Lyndal look at the ground.

  ‘I am honoured by the invitation,’ Kendra replied.

  Lyndal wondered if Kendra knew what she was really agreeing to. Then she wondered if she was supposed to turn a blind eye to those things already. The answer was probably yes.

  ‘You do not have a drink,’ Borin said, turning to Lyndal. ‘And this is a celebration.’

  There were two reasons for that: the first being she could not stomach it, and the second being the thought of someone appearing to sample everything she put into her mouth.

  ‘Shall I fetch someone?’ Kendra said, looking around.

  Thomas stopped her with a shake of his head. It was likely his pride could not take it.

  ‘No need.’ Borin gestured to a servant by the wall. The boy came forwards with a tray, a single cup of wine on it. The king picked it up and handed it to her.

  Lyndal was relieved when no one raced up to taste it on her behalf.

  ‘To the happy couple,’ Thomas said, lifting his goblet.

  Lyndal raised her cup, then drank.

  Astin was supposed to be watching the king or watching the room, not watching her. But she had a way of holding his full attention. It had been that way since the beginning, even if he did not care to admit it. It was even more difficult to look away when she had the king on one side of her and Lord Thomas on the other. She was a fish between two sharks.

  ‘Isn’t someone supposed to sample that?’ Roul asked, straightening.

  Astin watched as she lifted her cup in an awkward toast. ‘Everything’s tested before it’s brought in. That’s the best we can do at gatherings like these.’

  She drank and looked into the cup. It was subtle, but he saw her recoil at the taste. She sniffed the drink before turning her attention back to the conversation going on around her.

  Astin narrowed his eyes. He had seen her drink enough wine to know she was no snob when it came to quality. He also knew King Borin’s collection was one of the finest in Europe.

  Astin’s eyes shot to the servant walking away with the tray. Every hair on his body stood on end. Then his feet were moving. Slipping between the guests, he snatched the cup from Lyndal’s hand.

  Her mouth fell open. ‘Excuse me.’

  He brought it to his nose, then turned to Roul, who had followed him. ‘Hemlock. Find the servant.’

  Lady Kendra’s face paled. ‘Hemlock? Is that not highly poisonous?’

  Lyndal brought a hand to her lips.

  ‘You can tell that from smell?’ the king asked, keeping his voice low so as to not draw attention.

  Astin did not stick around to explain the extent of his training. Taking Lyndal by the wrist, he pulled her towards the door.

  ‘I drank it,’ she said behind him.

  He dodged between the guests, pulling her faster still. ‘I know.’ The moment they stepped out into the fountain court, he turned to her. ‘Bend over and open your mouth.’

  Her eyes widened slightly. ‘What?’

  ‘Do it!’

  She bent, leaning on her knees. He pushed two fingers into her mouth until he felt her gag, then withdrew them. She managed to take a few steps in an effort to get away from the door before being sick on the ground. Straightening, she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.

  He led her to the fountain. ‘Clean your mouth out, but don’t swallow the water.’

  Again, she did as she was told.

  He noticed her hand was tr
embling when she scooped up the water. ‘How’s your heart rate?’ His own was elevated. ‘Salivation? Any nausea?’

  She looked up at him. ‘All of the above, but it’s not from the wine.’

  He reminded himself to breathe.

  ‘I just thought it was bad,’ she said, ‘and I didn’t want to embarrass the king. I’m fine. Really.’

  It took all his effort not to go to her. He wanted to cradle that head of hers, sit beside her with his fingers on her pulse just to be sure. But he did none of those things.

  ‘What in heaven’s name is going on?’ Queen Fayre asked as she rushed over to the fountain. ‘The king said something about poisoning.’

  Astin took a step back. ‘I’ll have it tested, but it smelled like hemlock to me.’

  ‘I barely drank any,’ Lyndal said, standing to prove she was fine.

  Fayre looked between them. ‘Where’s Thornton?’

  ‘He went after the man who served her,’ Astin said.

  Fayre’s eyes moved over him. ‘Are you not supposed to be guarding the king?’

  ‘He was just about to head back in,’ Lyndal said.

  Astin looked in the direction of the hall. ‘I expected him to follow me out given his betrothed was poisoned right in front of him.’

  The queen mother did not even blink. ‘His Majesty must remain with his guests to prevent damaging rumours. I am here in his place.’ She turned to Lyndal. ‘I think it best if we have the castle’s physician check you over.’

  Lyndal frowned. ‘The king will lose his mind if I abandon his guests.’

  ‘Let me worry about that. We have a wedding coming up, and I need you healthy.’ Fayre turned to Astin. ‘How did you know there was something in her drink?’

  How was he supposed to answer that? Should he admit to watching her all night instead of the king? Confess to knowing every expression of hers and what each one meant? He could translate every crinkle of her nose.

  ‘Thornton asked me if the wine had been tested, and I noticed she had a reaction to the taste.’

  ‘How very lucky for her.’ The queen looked over her shoulder. ‘I better have that mess cleaned up before someone steps in it.’

  ‘It’s my mess,’ Lyndal said, moving to leave. ‘I’ll clean it up.’

  Astin caught her arm, then immediately let go. ‘You need to be checked by a physician.’

  ‘He is right,’ Fayre said. ‘I shall have a guard escort you to your bedchamber. Thornton and the warden will handle the investigation and report back to me when they have all the facts.’ Her eyes went to Astin. ‘Thank you for your assistance, Fletcher.’

  He was being dismissed, and he had no choice but to leave her.

  ‘Your Majesty,’ he said, bowing his head. He did not risk another glance at Lyndal before striding away, unclenching his fists and stretching out his fingers before disappearing into the hall.

  Chapter 30

  ‘For goodness’ sake, put that sword away and stop pacing,’ Lyndal called to Eda from the bed. The physician had left after declaring her fit and healthy, but apparently that was not enough for her sister. She was out for blood now. ‘How on earth did you smuggle that thing in here, anyway?’

  Eda turned to look at her. Someone wants you dead, and that’s what you want to talk about? She resumed pacing. And I didn’t smuggle it in. I stole it once inside.

  Lyndal threw her hands up. ‘Why would you tell me that?’

  A knock at the door had Eda marching over to answer it.

  ‘Eda!’ Lyndal called. ‘Don’t you dare.’

  Too late.

  Eda yanked the door open, not bothering to hide her weapon. Roul drew his sword the second he realised she was armed. But when he moved to disarm her, she slipped around him. She knew every defender trick in the book because Harlan had taught her every one.

  ‘Drop your weapon,’ Roul said calmly, positioning himself in front of Lyndal.

  When Eda did not comply, Roul tried another tactic, managing to get a hold of her wrist and twisting her arm until the sword fell to the ground. That should have been the end of it, but Eda threw her elbow up, connecting with the defender’s chin.

  ‘Eda!’ Lyndal said, pushing between them. ‘What on earth has gotten into you? Thornton’s my bodyguard.’

  Eda stepped back, panting. Then why did you almost die?

  Roul stepped around Lyndal and kicked Eda’s sword out of reach. ‘If she ever answers that door with a weapon in her hand again, I’ll take off the hand. Make sure she understands.’

  I’m not deaf, Eda signed.

  ‘She understands,’ Lyndal said, hands raised as she tried to bring some calm to the room. She looked at Eda. ‘I thought you came here to make life easier.’

  You trust too easily, Eda signed.

  ‘She making threats?’ Roul asked.

  Lyndal held her head. ‘No. No one’s making threats. I’m sorry. My sister’s sorry.’ She looked to Eda again. ‘Aren’t you?’

  Eda looked far from apologetic as she gave a reluctant nod.

  ‘Now, what is it you wanted?’ Lyndal asked.

  Roul eyed Eda for a moment longer before speaking. ‘It was hemlock in the wine. Seems someone’s unhappy about the announcement.’

  ‘Yes,’ Lyndal agreed. ‘Everyone in attendance, which doesn’t help you much. I gather no one else got sick or died.’

  ‘No. Fletcher’s questioned the servant who gave you the wine.’ He hesitated before continuing. ‘Now he’s speaking with the rest of them.’

  Lyndal’s brow creased. ‘Is he now?’ She knew exactly what the questioning entailed when it was coming from defenders. ‘Where is he?’

  ‘He won’t want you anywhere near it,’ Thornton said straight away.

  Lyndal crossed her arms in front of her. ‘You can either tell me where he is or I can search the whole castle looking for him.’

  ‘That’s not safe.’

  ‘Then the first option might be better.’

  Roul exhaled, shook his head, and turned to the door. ‘Your sister stays here.’

  Eda went to object, but Lyndal raised a finger. ‘Not a word. I only need one bodyguard.’

  Eda threw her hands up and walked over to the chair, dropping down into it.

  Roul took Lyndal to the north end of the castle, descending the steps into the bustling kitchen below. They exited the small door at the far end, passing a sobbing woman on their way out.

  ‘That’s never a good sign,’ Lyndal said as she followed Roul. It took her eyes a moment to adjust to the dark, and then she spotted Astin pacing a few feet away. Blood splattered one side of his face.

  He stilled when he spotted her. ‘Why the hell aren’t you in bed?’ His accusing eyes went to Roul.

  ‘The physician said I’m healthy as a horse.’ She walked over, noticing his reddened knuckles. ‘What are you doing? The servants aren’t to blame and you know it.’

  ‘They are if a poisoned drink made its way to your mouth.’

  She exhaled. ‘So your answer is to beat up all the men and make the women cry?’

  Astin looked past her to Roul. ‘Leave us.’

  The defender nodded before retreating to the kitchen.

  When they were alone, Astin met her eyes. ‘I need you to let me do my job.’

  ‘This isn’t your job, remember? You’re no longer my bodyguard. You made that choice.’

  He ran a hand down his face. ‘I had to step away. You know I did.’

  ‘So step away.’

  He turned in a circle. ‘I can’t bear to be near you, and I can’t stand being away from you. So what the hell am I supposed to do?’

  She looked down when she felt the sting of tears. ‘I’m sorry for that. It was never my intention to come here and mess up your life.’

  ‘I’m responsible for my mistakes, not you.’

  Mistakes. She hugged herself against the frigid air. It was nearing midnight, and the exhaustion of the day had well and truly caught up with
her.

  ‘I should have kept my feelings in check,’ he continued. ‘I should have focused on the job—cared less. And I should never have taken you outside that wall.’

  That one tore.

  ‘I’m in this position because at some point I stopped being a defender.’

  ‘And started being human?’ she asked.

  ‘I can’t afford to be human.’ He exhaled slowly. ‘You don’t understand. How could you? You weren’t built for this life, so you have no idea what it entails.’

  She swallowed. ‘That’s not fair.’

  ‘Do you really understand what you’re up against? Who you’re marrying? He doesn’t care about you. That’s not going to change. In fact, it’s going to get worse. And you’re choosing that.’

  Her heart was thudding hard in her chest now. ‘I’m choosing to help thousands of people, putting their needs ahead of my own. And instead of applauding me, you stand there belittling me and making me feel stupid.’

  ‘Women who marry into these roles spend their entire lives preparing for them, and you think you can just wake up one day and push all your values and feelings aside and save everyone?’

  ‘I’m not having this conversation with you again.’ She raised her chin. ‘I came to tell you to leave the servants alone and to let Thornton do his job. And now I’m leaving.’

  ‘Because I hurt your feelings? You better get used to that. You’ll be the king’s emotional punching bag for the rest of your life.’

  Her feet stopped. Returning to him, she shoved his chest with both hands. His feet did not move.

  ‘That’s enough!’ Hot tears fell down her cheeks. ‘I’ll be his emotional punching bag, because that’s the job. I expect it from him. But I won’t be yours.’ A sob tore from her. ‘It’s like a knife in the stomach, and I can’t bear it.’ She took a second to collect herself. ‘I never expected it from you.’

  Astin’s face fell. He raked a hand over his head, suddenly looking lost. ‘Lyndal—’

  ‘No.’ She backed away to the door. ‘No more.’