Illicit (Perfect for them Book 2)
Page 3
By the way he says it, it sounds like he has first hand experience about it and when I look at Parker, he blushes and looks away.
I instinctively stop in the middle of the street, looking at both guys through narrowed eyes. “Guys! Did you really sleep with some of those girls?”
Parker sounds embarrassed. “Sorry, K. We did tell you how we rebounded last spring break and everyone knows that the ΙΑΚs are a sure thing.”
Bryce nods. “What he just said. I swear they didn’t mean anything.”
I smile at both men, softened by the guilty expressions on their handsome faces. I can’t be that big a hypocrite when I slept with Chase. And I have to remember that last spring break the guys and I hadn’t even met. So regardless of the fact that whatever we have between the three of us isn’t official yet or that we haven’t talked about being exclusive, I know that what I did is way worse.
That’s the moment in which I make up my mind that I need to talk to Chase and he’ll have to accept that I am going to tell his best friends about what he and I did.
I trust Parker and Bryce not to tell a soul about it and I owe the truth to my boys.
They’ve been sweet, loving and patient with me and there’s no way I can keep this secret without it coming to destroy us in the future.
Especially because I’m not willing to lie and make one of them believe that he was my first.
Am I scared that what I did will make them walk away from me? Fuck, yeah. But I love them too much not to tell them the truth and if I already have to live without two pieces of my heart because of our parents’ marriage, I can’t risk what I could have with Parker and Bryce.
I know Chase won’t like it and I know it’ll be a very difficult conversation but my mind is made up.
I hate the idea of losing the strange truce between us since that eventful night, but it’s a risk I’m willing to take because this secret is literally eating away at me from the inside.
We’re almost at the end of Greek Row, where the largest and most popular houses are located and even before we come in view of the ΓΔΤ’s stand, I see two tall figures dressed as gladiators holding signs that say: ‘Pledge ΓΔΤ this fall’.
Long, powerful legs, bulging biceps and muscles for days on end. “Chase? Reid?”
I can barely keep the elated surprise out of my tone but while Chase growls at me, displeased with being caught in such an embarrassing predicament, Reid quietly glares at me and walks away.
“What—”
Chase shakes his head, making the words die in my throat but Bryce can’t stifle a loud laugh.
“Thank our new president for this shit,” Chase scolds him. “And if I were you, I wouldn’t be so amused motherfucker, because you might be next. As soon as the asshole has had enough of showing the brothers that Reid and I are no longer in charge.”
I keep hearing about the new Gamma president and I look around the stand when Chase shakes his head, taking his gladiator helmet off.
“He’s in the fucking house, getting ready for the parties tonight. Most houses on Greek Row are throwing some kind of bash. And he has me and Reid doing all the work out here.”
I instinctively touch Chase’s bicep in what in my intention is supposed to be a soothing gesture and Chase leans into my touch for the briefest of moments. But that’s also when Reid comes back from taking to a group of guys who had just approached the stand and as soon as his gaze lands on me and his brother, Chase recoils back as if my fingers had burned him with that fleeting contact.
I turn my back on Chase, still feeling his eyes on me, and this time I catch Bryce’s gaze intent on us.
He doesn’t say anything and I’d be lying if I said that I’m not relieved about it. If Bryce and Parker have noticed the truce between me and Chase, they haven’t mentioned it.
I walk away from the Gamma stand, approaching what was my destination all along, the Zeta’s stand.
There’s a small crowd around the stand and several girls are speaking to the prospective pledges, so I wait for my turn, thinking about what’s the best way to introduce myself.
“Hi, welcome to the ΖΘΒ stand. Have you thought about joining the most prestigious sorority at Bridgeport U and one of the top five sororities in the country?”
A curvy brunette who’s dressed in a very similar way to me approaches me and hands me a flyer once some of the crowd dissipates.
“My name is Erin and I’m the treasurer of the Zetas. What’s your name?”
“Kaya Pembroke, nice to meet you.”
I shake the girl’s hand, preparing myself to mention my legacy status, when a thin, blonde girl literally barges into our conversation, pushing Erin to the side with a bump of her hip.
“Oh, finally someone that looks like Zeta material! I swear that the quality of the pledges gets worse every year. Well done, Erin for spotting someone that at least from the outside looks like a Zeta. Good to see that you know the standard we’re looking for, even if you can’t manage to adhere to it.”
There’s a sharp edge in the girl’s tone and it obviously hits the intended target, because Erin takes a step back, holding her stack of flyers closer to her ample chest in a defensive stance.
Her eyes are suddenly shiny with what I think might be tears and I feel immediately sorry for Erin and open my mouth to say something, I’m not sure what. But I never have the opportunity because the blonde girl continues. “Hi, I’m Valeria Wellesley, president of the Bridgeport Zeta chapter. I would like to invite you to tonight’s party at the Zeta house where we’ll commence our selection of this year’s pledges and kick off the official beginning of rush week. Which other sororities are you planning to rush?”
I avert my gaze from her probing hazel eyes: Valeria has a way of looking at other people that’s quite unsettling. She looks at others as if she’d already evaluated them and found them lacking. As if she were at least one level above the rest of the people around her.
I know her type, there was a girl like her at boarding school in New York, she was the academy’s Queen B and she thrived on putting other people down.
So when I introduce myself, I do it making sure to meet her gaze and to keep my head high, to signify that when I begin filling the form she hands me, I’m applying to rush the Zetas, not to be her doormat.
“Pembroke?” she asks as I hand her back the form, checking the sheet attached to her clipboard. “You’re one of our legacies this year.”
Her smile widens showing perfectly white, regular teeth. “It’s a relief that at least at a first glance, you look suitable for the Zetas. You have no idea what I’ve had to let in last year,” she says looking at Erin again and causing the other girl to tighten her grip on her stack of flyers so much that her knuckles turn white.
All of a sudden, I’m not sure that I’d fit in with the Zetas anymore but I made a promise to my mom and I know that I have to at least try.
Chase
I’VE BEEN TO THE ZETA house many times, their parties are legendary and the Zetas seek the company of the Gammas on a regular basis, as we’re the most prestigious fraternity on campus.
Normally, I’d look forward to a big party and the Zeta house was my favorite hunting ground when I was trying to fuck Kaya out of my system. Now? I’d rather be anywhere else, first of all because I’m done with the hookups.
I simply fucking can’t.
How can I even think about touching another girl when I can still feel Kaya’s lips on mine, her soft body in my arms, her tight, wet heat clamped around my cock.
Every time I close my eyes I see her, every time I fall asleep she’s in my dreams. It’s driving me insane and it’s tearing me apart and it’s not the first time that I wish that she’d gone to college far away from here.
I know I can’t be celibate forever but right now just the idea of even kissing another girl leaves me cold at best. And I couldn’t do it knowing that she’s at the same party anyway. For as much as I don’t think I can be her frie
nd and definitely not her brother, I’m done doing anything that would hurt her.
I know she’s really unhappy about my request to keep our secret, to not tell Parker and Bryce about what happened between us. And don’t get me wrong, I don’t feel good either about lying to my best friends in the whole world. Even if they’d be mad, if they punched me in the face for making love to the girl they’re both dating, the real reason is that I can’t afford the risk of this getting out, not matter how small.
If Dad heard about it, I know there would be some really ugly confrontations coming my way. I didn’t miss the look on his face when Bryce and Parker pitched the idea that Kaya could move into the room left vacant by Reid in the house we share off campus.
My old man hit the roof but I’m sure that it wasn’t just because he didn’t approve of Kaya living under the same roof with the guy she’s dating. Dad’s eyes were fixed on me and I struggled to maintain a neutral expression.
Dad might’ve noticed that while I haven’t exactly been hanging out with Kaya, after that night I’ve been less distant and for some reason that bothers him.
Trust me, I’ve been so mad at his attitude toward the whole Kaya situation. I can see how he wants us to be a family but he doesn’t trust me and Reid around our stepsister. And the most infuriating thing about it all, is that my old man is damn right.
Deep down, I’ve been pissed at him for years, since he first told me and my brother that he expected us to have a sibling relationship with Kaya. He refers to her as ‘your sister’ every time he mentions her in front of me or Reid.
And I can’t really blame Dad too much for his attitude; I know he has his reasons for feeling the way he does and I know that I’m in part the cause of those feelings.
During my senior year of high school, I started hanging out with the daughter of one of Dad’s best friends.
I met her at the country club and we went out a few times. I had no intention for it to be anything serious and in my seventeen-year-old mind, I wasn’t doing anything wrong because I never mentioned a relationship or asked her to be my girlfriend or to be exclusive.
So I fucked her a couple of times and then moved on when I got bored.
Little did I know that the girl thought that I was her boyfriend and when she saw me out with someone else, she went crying to her dad.
And my father didn’t take it well at all. He warned me and Reid about the consequences of our actions and I know that he was really disappointed with my behavior.
He knew that Reid and I were partying a lot and sleeping around and I guess he didn’t care as long as we didn’t do it in his immediate social circles.
So he probably thought that we’d do the same thing with Kaya or that she was a fun challenge between twin brothers. See who nails her first or some shit like that.
Again, I can’t really blame him because Reid and I did stuff like that all the time in high school.
But things changed when we met Kaya, with her it wasn’t about self-gratification or simply getting our rocks off. With her it was love and I suspect that it was that kind of love that you experience only once in a lifetime, at least for me. Because I’ve done everything to forget about her and I’m back to where I was three years ago. Actually, I’m even worse, I love Kaya even more. And knowing how it feels to be with her, how the words ‘I love you’ sound on her lips, makes everything a whole lot harder.
And Kaya was also the reason why I stepped down from frat president. I heard her and Karen talking about her joining the Zetas and because we’ve got such a close relationship with that sorority, I decided that it would be better to step down and give myself the chance to stay away if things became too hard.
I also knew that Reid really wanted the presidency and last year he didn’t run because I did, so I thought it would be a win-win to let him have his time to shine, so to speak.
Talking about Reid, he’s been in a sour mood all afternoon and for once I really don’t blame him.
Oliver seems hellbent on humiliating us, he obviously wants to have control of the Gamma house and he’s convinced that the way to get what he wants is by belittling me and my brother. You know, like when a new emperor would have to kill his predecessor after a war to show his subjects that he was strong.
Another way he decided to assert his power over us is that he gave us the fucking smallest rooms in the house, rooms that are usually reserved for sophomores or juniors, never to seniors and especially not a past president.
I knock on Reid’s door with a sigh: it’s not too bad for me because I don’t live here full time, I only ever used even my presidential suite to crash after a party or to bring a hook up to, keeping my room in our house as my sanctuary. Reid has decided to live here full time and I know it fucking stings to have a shitty room on the ground floor near the game room. I’d tell him to move back in with us, since his room is going to be empty all year but I’m sure that his reason for wanting out was that with Kaya seeing Bryce and Parker, he knew she’d probably be around a lot and he wasn’t prepared to bear it.
In a way, I envy my twin: he’s way stronger than me and better than me in his resolve to stay away.
So the least that I can do is support him the best I can if he comes to blows with the new frat president.
4.
Party
Kaya
WE ARRIVE AT THE ZETA house when the party is already crowded and you know me, I’m not a huge party girl so I look at the scene in front of me a little wide-eyed.
People are really well dressed and seem to be oddly composed for what I think I know about sorority parties. But then again, all I know is what I saw on TV in all those college movies and TV shows.
There’s music but it isn’t loud enough to cover the conversations, there’s drinks being served but I don’t see anyone doing body shots or doing anything crazy.
So I look around bewildered by what looks like a classy tea party attended by slightly drunken people.
Yeah, because that’s where the reality doesn’t totally fit the picture in front of my eyes. The way one girl is holding her canapé, swirling it in the air while she’s talking, the way some of the guys in the opposite corner are talking and laughing a little too loudly, with exaggerated hand gestures and the glassy quality of everyone’s gazes tell me that they’re all drunk, or stoned or both.
“Kaya! Glad you could make it!”
Valeria comes to greet me flanked by Erin and another girl, a rail thin redhead in a beige lace dress that in all honesty makes her look naked.
“Hey Parker, hey Bryce. I see you already met Kaya?” she says eyeing up the boys who are standing on each side of me and twirling a strand of her long blonde hair around her index finger in an openly flirty way.
I don’t know what it is in her gaze that makes me want to step closer to both my boys to signal that they’re not available, that they’re mine.
Or at least, I don’t want them to be available and this feeling strengthens my resolve to talk to Chase about our situation. I need to tell the truth about that night and if they’ll still want me, I want to put a label on my relationship with Parker and Bryce. I want to be exclusive and to call them my boyfriends. I want to—
My train of thought is interrupted by Valeria again.
“Anyway, we’re waiting for the Gamma president to arrive and then we’ll start the party games. All the aspiring pledges are required to join, so that we can evaluate and make a decision on who’ll be allowed to pledge both ΖΘΒ and ΓΔΤ. In the meantime, why don’t you a have a skinny margarita? It’s my special recipe.” She snaps her French manicured fingers. “Rachelle, margarita for Kaya and beers for Parker and Bryce, please.”
The redhead makes a move toward the drink table and Erin offers to help.
“Yeah, just make sure you only help with the drinks, Erin. The canapés aren’t for you. Sisters like you are the main reason why we need the margaritas to be skinny.” Then she turns to whisper at me but loudly enough that
Erin and most of the people around us can hear. “I swear she must’ve spent the summer eating cheese back in Wisconsin. Seriously, the Zetas aren’t for the homely types, if you want to fit in, you need to do something about your figure.” Then even louder to Erin, “It’s decided, you’re going running with me every morning from Monday.”
Her hazel eyes are traveling up and down Erin’s figure in an openly appraising way and the cruel twist of her lips doesn’t hide the fact that she doesn’t find what she sees even remotely satisfactory.
Erin’s cheeks are literally on fire as she nods to her president before following Rachelle to the drinks table.
I awkwardly stand there, waiting for the drinks and debating if I should call Valeria out on the way she just spoke to Erin. I already noticed the digs she constantly makes about her treasurer’s weight earlier on and I really don’t like it.
I know I’m not even a pledge here yet and that getting on the president’s bad side might definitely hurt my chances to get in, but I was a little on the chubby side as a pre-teen and I remember how other people’s comments about my weight used to hurt.
I take a deep breath. If speaking up will make Valeria decide that I’m not Zeta material, Mom will have to live with the disappointment of me not following in her legacy. I can’t stand by and let this go, not if I want to call these girls sisters one day.
“Here’s your drink.” I take the glass from Erin with a smile and try to keep my tone as devoid of confrontation as possible when I utter my next words. “Thank you. And for what it’s worth, I’ve seen my mom’s photos and you embody the Zeta standard of beauty quite perfectly. Skinny margaritas or not.”
I don’t know what I was expecting to happen but if I thought that Erin would appreciate my support, I guess I was sorely wrong. She doesn’t say anything, looking nervously between me and Valeria.