by Laura Lee
I shake my empty glass. “I’ll take another one. And you should probably keep ‘em coming.”
“Of course, Brody.” She takes my glass and nods to the two half-empties on the table. “You guys need a refill, too?”
“Sure,” Riley and Drew answer.
She winks. “Give me just a minute. I’ll put these in the front of the queue.”
Drew waits until she’s out of earshot before he speaks. “I guess the one benefit to your affliction for barmaids is that we never have to wait for drinks.”
“Former affliction,” I correct. Damn, I need to find a new place to hang out—one where I haven’t slept with half the staff.
“So, what are you going to do?” Riley pops a mozzarella stick in his mouth.
“I have no fucking clue. But it starts with more whiskey.”
Drew laughs as Cara returns with said whiskey. “Well, drink up, buddy. It’s on me.”
He’s probably going to regret offering that.
Yep, you’ve guessed it—I don’t stop until the bartender cuts me off. And really, I should’ve quit two rounds ago. I’m going to pay for this tomorrow.
“I fucking love her, man,” I slur. “I’m in fucking love with her! What am I supposed to do with that?”
“Call her and tell her,” Drew suggests.
Riley left after our third round, claiming all this talk about the magic pussy made him anxious to get home to his fiancée. Now it’s just Drew and I, drunk as fuck. We’re both big dudes, so it takes a lot of alcohol to get to this point. I don’t think either one of us have been this shitfaced since our days in the frat house.
“She’s working overnights this week,” I say.
“So? Leave a voicemail. She can’t change the subject if she’s not on the other end of the line.”
Maybe it’s the whiskey talking, but that’s actually pretty brilliant. I can’t dig my phone out of my pocket fast enough.
My ears perk up when her voicemail greeting plays.
“Hey, this is Rainey. Leave a message after the tone and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible.”
I go for it as soon as I hear the beep.
“Rainey, it’s me. Brody. God, hopefully you’d recognize my voice otherwise what I’m about to say is really fucked up. But I don’t think it is fucked up, because it feels right. Ya know? So hopefully you already knew it was me. Anyway...I’m not going to let you distract me with sex! Not that I don’t like the sex, because Christ, sex with you is out-of-this-world hot. There’s nothing better in existence than sinking into your warm, wet pussy. But that’s not what I called to say. Fuck, you’re even distracting me with sex without even being here because I’m thinking about it.
“Okay...back to the subject. I don’t want to be friends-with-benefits anymore. When I think about it, I never did. You’re not a fuck-and-chuck type of girl. You’re a take-back-home kind of girl. Like, I actually want you to meet my crazy family because I know they’d love you almost as much as I do. Yeah, you heard me right; I love you, Lorraine O’Neil. I’ve fucking loved you for years! I don’t want any other women. You’re the goddamn magic pussy! Don’t you get that? All I’m asking is for a—”
BEEP!
“Damn it! Her voicemail cut me off.”
“Call it back, man,” Drew suggests. “You’re doing good. Pure fucking poetry.”
I grin as I dial her again and wait for the tone. It was pretty great, wasn’t it?
BEEP!
“Okay, Rainey. It’s me again. Your stupid voicemail hung up on me. Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, I got it. I’m just asking for you to give me a chance, baby. A real chance. I know Adam fucked with your head, but if you keep closing yourself off because you’re scared, then he wins. Don’t let him win, Rainey!
“You’re it for me. I want you and only you. And I know you feel the same. I know it...you understand this insane connection we have because you’re right there with me, baby. You just need to gather the courage to admit it. I want forever with you. You want babies? Well, I want to knock you up and see your giant belly carrying my child. Oh my God, your tits are going to be even more incredible when you’re pregnant. Fuck. Now I’m getting hard thinking about it. Shit, where was I?
“Oh, yeah...so our cover’s blown. Riley and Drew know all the details now, too. And I’m sorry about that, but I didn’t outright tell them—they figured it out. You know what? No, I’m not sorry. I fucking want them to know. I want everyone to know! Just please, give me a fucking chance. I know you think I’m an ass, but I promise I’ll fucking cherish you, Rainey. And I’ll keep the orgasms coming. See what I did there? Orgasms...coming? Getting off track again. Anyway, just hear me out. Just give me a chance. So...yeah. I guess that’s it. Call me back when you get off work.”
I press the END button and take a deep breath. It feels like an anvil has been lifted off my chest.
“Jesus, Brody. Not gonna lie, dude; I’m getting a chub. If Rainey won’t give you a shot, I might be willing to give it a try. But just a forewarning; you’d have to be the bottom.”
“Fuck you, man,” I slur. “I am so not a bottom. Also, we both like pussy. Remember?”
“Speaking of pussy...” he looks around and smiles when he spots something. “Now that you’ve fixed your problem, my best friend duty is done. The hot bartender has been eye-fucking me for the past few hours. I’m going to go see what time she gets off work so she can get off on my dick after. I’ll close out the tab while I’m up there.”
I wave him off. “Go for it, bud. I’m gonna get an Uber.”
The app says my driver is right down the road so I pull on my coat and head outside. I look at the time as I wait and calculate the number of hours before Rainey gets off work. I have just enough time to get a good nap in. I smile when I think about all the naked fun that we’re going to have after she listens to my voicemail.
Chapter Forty-Six
RAINEY
Ugh, what a night. We were at full capacity so every nurse on staff had three laboring ladies a piece. All three of mine gave birth during my twelve-hour shift so I had to stay an extra hour just to catch up on my charts. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise; doctors get all the glory, but nurses are the ones that do most of the work. I grab my purse and head down to the parking garage, fantasizing about crawling into bed and crashing for at least ten hours. I remember my phone battery was low when I clocked in so I pull it out of my purse so I can charge it during the drive home. I was so busy that I never got a chance to pull it out during my shift, let alone plug a charger in.
I frown when I see two voicemails from Brody, timestamped early this morning. That damn man’s persistence makes avoiding him really difficult. The irony is that I don’t even want to avoid him. But I don’t want to dig into the heavy conversation that he’s been trying to have either. You probably think I’m a bitch for doing this to him—he certainly hasn’t done anything to deserve it—but self-preservation has a funny way of controlling your actions. Things with Brody got super intense, super fast, so I’m trying to deal with that. And after the other night, it just got that much worse. As strange as it sounds, considering all the butt stuff that occurred, Brody and I made love that night. It’s too much. He’s too much.
When I proposed this arrangement, I thought I was getting a really hot Peter Pan with a big dick. I truly didn’t think that I’d have any trouble keeping feelings out of it. In retrospect, I should’ve seen this coming. The truth of the matter, is that there’s a certain type of man that I’ve always gravitated toward. And Brody is that type: Charming, intelligent, playful, sex-on-a-stick. One thing I learned though, is that with those types of men, it never takes too long before their eyes, and their dicks, start to wander. I’ve been cheated on in every single relationship that I’ve ever been in. I actually went out with Adam because he was the exact opposite of my normal guy and look how well that turned out. As you can probably imagine, my past has made me cautious...and maybe a bit jaded.
I take a deep breath and press play on the first message. I smile when he begins to ramble—clearly he was a bit intoxicated. Oh, boy, this is going to be interesting. My smile quickly falls when he gets to the point and tells me that he loves me—that he doesn’t want anyone other than me. Goddamn him! I can’t believe he dropped the L-bomb over a drunken voicemail!
The first message runs so long he gets cut off mid-sentence but he picks up right where he left off with the second. I’m fucking terrified when he tells me that he wants me to have his babies. I get downright furious when he admits that we’ve been exposed. Who in the hell does he think he is? He can’t just leave me a fucking voicemail saying all this shit!
Fuck! Why did he have to do this? Why couldn’t he be happy with what we had? Why did he have to force the issue?
Why did he have to ruin this?
I don’t even think; I just drive until I’m pulling into the underground parking to Brody’s building. I have so many emotions running through me as I stomp up to his apartment, that I don’t even know what I came here to say. I wipe my tears away and pound on his door until I can hear him shuffling around inside.
He looks like death warmed over as he opens the door, but my hoo-ha still wants some action. Down, you horny bitch!
“Hey,” he clears the gruffness from his voice. “What are you doing here so early?”
I force my way through the door. He closes it behind me and looks at me expectantly. I don’t even know where to start.
“You’re an asshole!” Okaaay, I guess that’s one way.
He blinks a few times. “Huh?”
“Why did you have to fuck everything up, Brody?” I push his chest to emphasize my point. “Why couldn’t you leave it alone?”
He holds one hand up and pinches the bridge of his nose with the other. “Just hold on a second, will you? I’m still trying to wake up. I had a lot to drink last night; it’s going to take me a sec to figure out why you’re acting like such a crazy pants right now.”
“Crazy?! I’m not crazy! You’re the one who’s crazy!”
“Says every crazy person ever,” he mutters.
I start pacing around his foyer. “Why’d you do it, Brody? Why’d you say those things to me?”
It takes him a minute but I can see the moment his hangover fog clears.
“Ah...I see you got my voicemails.”
“Oh, I got ‘em, all right!”
He rubs a hand over his hair before lifting his chin and looking me straight in the eye. “What do you want me to say here, Rainey?”
“Oh, I think you’ve said enough. Don’t you?”
“I’m not going to apologize for it, if that’s what you’re looking for.”
I glare at him. “Brody, you don’t tell someone that you love them and want to spend the rest of your life with them on a voicemail!”
He mirrors my expression. “It’s not like you gave me much of a choice with all of your avoidance. It needed to be said, Rainey.”
“No, it didn’t!”
“And why the hell not? Please, tell me why the fuck it’s so difficult for you to hear?”
I throw my hands up in frustration. “Because this isn’t what I signed up for!”
“Well, too bad!”
“Too bad? That’s all you have to say?”
“I fucking need coffee for this,” he murmurs.
I follow him as he heads toward the kitchen and pops a pod in the Keurig. I get the feeling that he’s choosing his words carefully because he’s completely silent as it brews. The only sound in the room is the coffee percolating and my foot tapping impatiently on the tile floor.
I wait until he takes his first sip. “Is your break over yet? Are you ready to have an adult conversation?”
He ignores my jibe and takes another sip before speaking. “Look. That’s not the way I wanted to tell you everything—I can’t imagine how jumbled my speech was considering my state of drunkenness at the time. But I was fully cognizant, Rainey. I meant every single word. I won’t take them back. And if you’d be honest with yourself, you’d see that you don’t want me to.”
“So, you’re a mind reader now?”
He sighs. “Rainey—”
I panic when he attempts to cross over to the other side of the kitchen where I’m standing. “Stay right there, mister! I can’t think straight when you’re close to me.”
Brody rolls his eyes but remains where he is. “Shouldn’t that tell you something? I consume you. Just like you do to me.”
“I don’t want this, Brody. I didn’t sign up for anything this intense.”
“What are you so fucking afraid of?”
That you’ll break me.
“I’m not afraid,” I lie.
He crosses his arms over his beefy chest. “Really? Because it sure as hell looks that way to me. You’re fucking terrified, Rainey. And I get it. Adam fucked with your head. But I’m not Adam.”
“Not just Adam,” I mutter.
His eyebrows pinch together. “What?”
I jut my chin out. “I said, not just Adam. I’ve been in four serious relationships and every single one ended the same way. Adam was definitely the worse, but he wasn’t the only one that cheated. They all did. It’s what guys like you do.”
His jaw clenches. “Guys like me? What does that mean?”
“Hot guys.” I wave my hand up and down, gesturing to his body. “Cocky guys. Guys that are charming as hell and can easily hook a woman. Guys who like variety—perfectly happy having a new woman in their bed every night. You’re like wild Mustangs—gorgeous creatures that are restless and almost impossible to tame. I’ve been trampled enough times to learn from my mistakes, Brody.”
“So, that’s what I am? A mistake?” He swallows hard.
I stare at my feet and nod. “Yes.”
He paces back and forth for a few beats before his feet come to a stop right in front of me.
“Rainey, look me in the eye and say that.”
I shake my head. “No.”
Brody pinches my chin between his thumb and forefinger, prompting me to raise my head. “Look me in the fucking eye and tell me that you don’t love me. That I’m nothing more than a fuck to you. That I was a mistake.”
I brace myself for what I’m about to do. I need to get through this without crying so he’ll believe me.
I look him straight in the eye. “I don’t love you, Brody. This whole thing was a mistake.”
He doesn’t even try masking the pain. He wants me to see it. He wants me to take it back, but I can’t. Not because I don’t want to, but because I can’t. I can’t give him the words that he wants—even though I do love him—because I can’t give him that power over me. I don’t think I could ever recover from Brody breaking my heart so I have to end this before it gets any worse.
He releases my chin and steps back. “You know what, Rainey? Fuck you—I don’t need this shit. You’ve been looking for a way out since this began. You’d rather be miserable and alone than take a chance on loving someone. You’re lying to yourself and to me when you claim you don’t return my feelings. You’re a fucking coward, hiding behind your excuses and assumptions. Clearly, I’m not the guy that’s going to break through your impenetrable wall. I actually feel sorry for the next dumbass that tries.”
I jump when he grabs his mug off the counter and chucks it against the wall. “Fuck!” His nostrils flare as he stares at the brown liquid dripping down the wall. “I know when to cut my losses, Rainey. I’m done trying. Don’t worry about running into
me around our friends. I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen. I don’t even want to fucking look at you, let alone be in the same room with you.”
I bite my tongue to hold back the sob in my throat. His words cut deeply but they’re completely justified. I almost tell him that I didn’t mean a word, and beg him to forgive me, but instead I say, “Goodbye, Brody.”
I’m barely out the door before the flood of tears begins.
Chapter Forty-Seven
BRODY
You know that saying, “The best way to get over someone, is to get someone else to hop on your dick?” Okay, maybe that’s not exactly how it goes, but you know what I mean. Anyway, that’s what started the chain of events that led me here. Try to remember that my heart just got annihilated because what you’re about to see isn’t exactly pretty.
“Brody, I’m so glad you called me,” Cara says, as she’s grinding on my lap. “I’ve been dying to take a ride on this beast again.” She dives back into kissing me.
Don’t look at me like that. We’re still fully clothed. And I’m not even hard which is a miracle in itself, because it’s not for lack of trying. Unfortunately, my disinterest only makes her work harder.
Cara tears off her shirt, exposing her very large, very naked breasts. She rubs her tits and tugs on her nipples. I think she’s trying to be sexy but I’m not feelin’ it. “I remember how much you liked my boobs. Feel free to play with them however you want. I’m always game for a good titty fuck.” She grinds into me again, trying to get a reaction out of me. Her last statement alone should’ve worked but I can practically hear Thor yawning.
My lips part when she grabs a tit and brings the nipple to my mouth. As I make a half-hearted attempt to suck, and lick, and hell, just enjoy myself in general, I can’t stop thinking about the fact that Cara’s nipples are light brown, instead of dark pink like Rainey’s. And sure, her tits are huge, but they’re not real like Rainey’s are. I’m totally pro boob job, but there’s no reason to overdo it and walk around looking like a porn star, ladies. Cara’s are abnormally high and firm, sort of reminding me of an overinflated balloon. They’re nothing like Rainey’s soft, perfectly shaped breasts that I loved using as a pillow.