Wicked Heart

by Leisa Rayven

  “I hadn’t meant to avoid you, but—” He exhales. “Being around you again is … complicated. Plus, I know you aren’t exactly thrilled to have me on the show. I was trying to give you space.”

  “I’m your stage manager. It’s not like you can get away from me.”

  “I don’t want to get away from you. That’s the problem.”

  I stiffen. “What does that mean?”

  He stares at me for a few seconds before taking a step forward. “It means having you and Angel in the same room is all kinds of fucked up, but I don’t want it to be. I’d like to be able to spend time with you without all this weirdness.”

  He’s so close now, I have to tilt my head to see his face. Images of him with his hand in my panties loops through my brain. “So, what? After all this time, you want to be friends?”

  He blinks a few times. “Yeah. Sure. Friends. Dinner might be a step in the right direction.”

  “Friends” is one of those terms that seems benign but has a whole host of barbed-wire boundaries. Once you’ve made love to someone with so much passion that his name is branded on all your cells, is it possible to ever think of him as just a friend? Or is the heat of an old flame always going to lie dormant, just waiting to consume you again?

  “Elissa?” When I look up, he gives me a pleading look. “To borrow a phrase from the night we met, I’d love for you to come. Please, don’t make me beg.”

  I shake my head and sigh. There’s no way we’ll ever be friends. I think he knows it as well as I do. But for Angel’s sake, it looks like we’re both willing to try.

  “Fine. I can’t guarantee it won’t be weird, but sure. Why not?”

  “Thank you.” He pauses for a moment, as if unsure of what to say next. “Liss…” When I look up at him, his expression fades into an echo of what I used to see when he looked at me. A quiet desperation. His gaze rakes over me with the sort of raw need that makes me feel like the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen, which is ridiculous considering whom he’s marrying. “You have to know that…”

  “What?”

  Just when I think the intensity in his expression is going to make me combust, Angel strides back into the room. “So, did you seal the deal? Is she coming?”

  Not yet, but if your boyfriend keeps looking at me like that, it’s a real possibility.

  “I’ll be there,” I say, and step back to tidy my already neat files.

  “Yes!” Angel says, and beams. “Eight o’clock. Dress up and wear sexy shoes. There’s a dance floor.”

  She grabs Liam’s arm before waving good-bye. I can see tension in Liam’s shoulders as they exit my office and disappear down the hallway.

  I sit and lean back in my chair.

  Not only do I have to get through dinner with Mr. and Mrs. Perfect, I have to put on makeup and be expected to dance. Oh, and show up with the boyfriend I don’t have. This has disaster written all over it.

  * * *

  As we walk into the elevator that leads up to Lumiere, I slap Josh’s hand away from his tie. “You look great. Stop fiddling.”

  He slides a finger into his collar and pulls. “Remind me why I’m here again?”

  “Because I was invited to bring my imaginary boyfriend, and considering we had a nasty imaginary breakup yesterday, he was unavailable.”

  “Got it. You look amazing, by the way.”

  I smooth down my plain black dress and run my hand over my sleek hair. “Really?” It’s strange to deviate from my usual uniform of ponytail and jeans, but I figure I should look like I at least made an effort. Anyway, this skintight black number is the only dress I own, so it wasn’t like I had a lot of choices.

  “Quinn’s eyes are going to bug out of his head.”

  “Oh, please. He’s sleeping with one of the most beautiful women on the planet.”

  “True. But you’re also an inferno of white-hot womanhood, and no matter how much he loves his fiancée, he’ll still have a boner over you in that outfit.”

  “Josh, no.”

  “Lissa, yes.” The elevator opens and he puts his hand on the small of my back as we exit. “You two had phenomenal sex in the past. A man doesn’t forget about that, no matter if he’s single, married, or pledged to the Flying Spaghetti Monster. When he’s in your presence, his dick will react. Trust me on that.”

  I stop just before we reach the doors and face Josh. “Please tell me you’re going to behave yourself in there.”

  “Why wouldn’t I?”

  “Because you’ve been kind of cold to Liam since I told you what happened with us.”

  “That’s because what he did was a dick move, and unlike you, I don’t like dicks.”

  “I don’t disagree, but if I can be nice to him, so can you.”

  He huffs. “Fine. I’ll behave. Besides, Angel will be there, annoying me with her perfection. I doubt I’ll even register Quinn’s existence.”

  We head into the restaurant. When we give Angel’s name to the hostess, her eyes light up for a second before she regains her composure. With a flip of her perfectly coifed hair, she leads us toward the back of the packed restaurant.

  “This place is huge,” Josh whispers. He’s not wrong. On the far wall is a stage complete with a dinner band, and there’s a dance floor in front of the stage, around which tables are set. On the outer walls are several curtained-off VIP areas. Our hostess leads us to the most private of these, in the far-back corner of the restaurant. Angel and Liam are already there. They stand when they see us approach.

  “Elissa!” Angel envelops me in a hug. “I’m so happy you guys came.” She looks incredible, as usual. I feel like an ugly stepsister in comparison.

  She turns to Josh and hugs him. “Josh. Hi. What an unexpected surprise.” I swear I hear Josh moan as she wraps her arms around him.

  I look over at Liam, who’s watching me nervously. “Hey.” I feel lame, but I have no idea of the proper etiquette in greeting an ex-lover one is still in love with.

  “Hey.” Liam must also be clueless, because he takes a breath before leaning over and giving me an awkward one-armed hug. I return it as best I can, grateful I’m not being subjected to the full pressure of his body against mine.

  When we pull back, Liam clears his throat, and I swear he’s blushing. “You look … great.”

  I doubt it. My face feels like it’s on fire. “Thanks. You, too.” He really does look amazing. Sharp gray suit. Crisp white shirt with no tie. If he wasn’t an actor, he could rule the world as a model.

  “Shall we sit?” Angel asks, oblivious to our discomfort.

  Liam pulls out Angel’s chair, and Josh quickly follows suit for me. Then Josh sits opposite Angel and I find myself staring at Liam.

  Wonderful. So this blush is here to stay, then.

  I’m grateful when a waitress appears with ice water, and wonder how uncool it would be for me to hold the glass against my cheeks.

  “So your boyfriend couldn’t make it?” Angel asks.

  The question catches me off guard. “Huh? Uh … no. He couldn’t. Sorry.”

  “Come on, Lissa,” Josh says. “We’re all friends here. You can tell them the truth.” I flash daggers at Josh, but he simply smiles. “She doesn’t want you to know she had to break up with him. He was getting obsessed with her. Constant flowers and presents. Love poetry. Serenading her in the street. The boy had it bad.”

  Liam looks over at me, his brows furrowed.

  “Sounds a bit stalkerish,” Angel says. “And I should know. I’m the Pied Piper of whack jobs.”

  Liam’s still staring. “How did he take the breakup? Because Angel’s right. With guys like that, rejection can set them off. You need to be careful.”

  His concern is appealing, but I’m embarrassed by the attention. “It’s totally fine. Josh is exaggerating.”

  Josh puts his hand on the back of my chair. “Not by much. I don’t think he’ll cause trouble, but he was pretty devastated when she broke it off. He really loved her
. And who can blame him? She’s spectacular.”

  I grab Josh’s leg under the table, but he ignores it.

  “I’m with you, Josh,” Angel says. “I’ve only known her for a week and I’m in love with her. Is this a common issue, Elissa? People falling for you?”

  I almost spit out my water. “Uh … no. Not really.”

  “Yeah, I’m not buying that. You’re beautiful, smart, amazing at your job. I bet you have men lining up around the block. Josh, back me up on this.”

  Liam’s gaze intensifies as Josh says, “She gets lots of attention, yes.”

  Angel looks at Josh quizzically. “Then why hasn’t she found Mr. Right yet?”

  I grab a menu. “I’m sitting right here, you know? In case you’d forgotten.”

  “There was one guy,” Josh says, like I haven’t spoken. He gives Liam a sideways glance. “Years ago. I thought he might have been the one.”

  Angel leans forward. “Ooh! What happened?”

  “He turned out to be an asshole. Dumped her for someone else.”

  The menu slips from my fingers and hits the table with a thud. I look over at Liam. He’s staring down at his hands.

  “Okay,” I say, and pick up the menu. “Let’s stop talking about me now, please. I’m starving. We should order.”

  Angel flashes me a sympathetic smile. “Aw, honey. Don’t be ashamed about being dumped. We’ve all been there, done that. God knows, I have the therapist’s bills to prove it.” She studies her menu. “The one thing I’ve learned is to not take the blame for things beyond your control. None of us can help who we fall in love with. Or out of love with, for that matter. My therapist says love is like a lion in captivity—it can be embraced, but never tamed. Deep, right?”

  She doesn’t notice that Liam and Josh are now having a glaring match. I dig my fingers into Josh’s thigh. He squirms and finally breaks eye contact to look at his menu.

  Liam looks at me briefly before taking a sip of water and gazing across the room.

  Okay, so this is going well.

  The only person who seems oblivious to the tension is Angel.

  “God, this food looks amazing,” she says. “My taste buds just squirted all over the place. I’ve heard the duck here is to die for.”

  “Why aren’t there any prices?” Josh whispers to me.

  I lean over to him. “Because if you have to ask, you can’t afford it.”

  Angel waves her hand. “Order whatever you like. My treat. I just want us all to have a good time, okay?”

  I feel bad about letting Angel pay, but I’m realistic enough to know Josh and I could never afford to eat here on our wages.

  We spend the next few minutes looking through our menus and making small talk. All but Liam. He leans close to Angel as she reads him the menu. When she sees me watching, she says, “He never brings his reading glasses, and he’s useless without them. I don’t think he even knows where they are these days.”

  “They give me a headache,” he says. “If I can get away with not wearing them, I will.”

  “You near-sighted?” Josh asks. Liam nods. “Yeah, that sucks. Taking them on and off all the time would drive me nuts. I don’t blame you for ditching them.”

  Liam smiles, and for some reason, that small exchange makes the whole mood lift. We order our food, Angel chooses the wine, and we fall into the kind of easy dinner conversation I wouldn’t have expected with this group of people. There’s still tension, especially between Liam and me, but not so much that I can’t enjoy myself. Of course, the wine also helps.

  By the time we’re on our third bottle, we’re getting kind of loud. Liam and Josh have had a hardy debate about football versus baseball, Angel and I have discussed our families and current events, and Josh and Angel have fallen into a friendly but passionate argument about the various incarnations of Star Trek.

  “You take that back,” Josh says as he narrows his eyes at her.

  Angel lifts her chin. “Not going to happen. Picard is sexier than Kirk. It’s a fact.”

  “Not in this universe, it fucking isn’t. Kirk is king, lady. Deal with it.”

  Liam looks over at me and smiles. “We may have to step in soon. Or take away their cutlery.”

  “Angel just dissed Josh’s hero and role model. I’m surprised he hasn’t flipped over the table in disgust and walked out.”

  He links his fingers together in front of him. “I was always more of a Spock fan, myself.”

  “Really? Why?”

  He gives a small shrug. “He was always the voice of reason. Sometimes he had to use logic to make the hard decisions. That’s not easy to do.”

  I smile. “‘The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.’” It’s one of my favorite movie lines.

  He stares at me with a strange expression before finishing the quote. “Or the one. Exactly.”

  We’re quiet for a few seconds, and Liam startles a little when Angel puts her hand on his arm.

  “Well,” she says, “as much as I’d like to continue kicking Josh’s ass about Starfleet captains, I think we should dance. This band is one of the main reasons I wanted to come here, and right now, they’re going to waste.”

  Josh glances over at the dance floor. “I’d rather continue to have my ass kicked, thank you.”

  Liam holds up his hand. “Me, too.”

  “Tough,” Angel says, smiling as she drags Liam to his feet. “I’ve spent thousands of dollars on dance classes for Liam and me for the wedding, and I aim to get my money’s worth. So, everyone up.”

  I grab Josh’s hand. “Our mistress has spoken.”

  He grunts in frustration. “Fine, but if I break out my white-hot robot moves, you can’t be embarrassed.”

  “It’s ballroom-dancing music, Josh.”

  “And your point is…?”

  We all head to the dance floor. Liam wraps his arms around Angel, and I put my arms around Josh’s neck. Within a few minutes, we’re all swaying sort of in time to the music.

  “Sorry about earlier with Quinn,” Josh says, looking over at Liam and Angel a short distance away. “I should have kept my mouth shut, but … I don’t know. Every time I think about him hurting you, it pisses me off.”

  I brush some lint off his shoulder. “I’ve learned there’s no point being bitter about it. It won’t change anything. They’re getting married, whether I like it or not.”

  Josh looks down at me. “Not necessarily. Have you not noticed the major heat between Angel and me tonight? I’m still predicting she’ll dump Quinn’s moody ass and come over to Team Josh.”

  I laugh and hug him. “Your unwavering optimism is one of the many reasons I love you.”

  After we dance to a couple of songs, Angel comes over and taps me on the shoulder. “Okay, time for a swap. Despite lessons, Liam’s already trodden on my toes three times. I’m hoping Josh is more graceful.”

  As Angel takes Josh’s hand and leads him away, he raises an eyebrow at me and mouths, “See? She wants me.”

  I laugh. When I turn around, Liam is there, waiting. He holds out his hands. “Shall we?”

  I give him a skeptical look. “I don’t know. Angel tells me you’re dangerous.”

  “I promise, I’ll be gentle,” he says as he takes my hands. “Right up until you beg me to be rough.” His mischievous smile does nothing to diminish how my body reacts to that statement. I put one hand on his shoulder as he winds an arm around my waist, and when our palms press together, I can’t help an audible intake of breath. He freezes as well.

  “Is this okay?” he asks quietly.

  I nod. “Yeah. If it’s okay with you.”

  He pulls me a little closer, but makes sure to keep distance between our bodies. “So far, so good. But it’s been a while since I danced with you, so anything could happen. You’re a little taller than I remember.”

  “Yes, high heels are a wonderful thing. Unless you try to walk in them. Or dance. Last chance to sit this one out and save yourse
lf.”

  He smiles down at me. “Not happening. They’ll have to pry you from my cold, dead hands. Let’s do this.”

  We begin to sway. It’s awkward at first, but as we get used to touching each other again, we begin to relax.

  “See?” he says, a little breathless. “Nothing to worry about.” He glances over at Angel and Josh. Angel’s laughing and Josh is glaring. Surely they’re not still talking Star Trek. “So, I take it Josh now knows the full story about us?”

  “What gave it away? Him calling you an asshole?”

  He shrugs. “It was subtle, but I picked up on it.”

  “Yeah, sorry about that.”

  “Don’t be. I deserved it. To be honest, I expected something like that way before now.”

  He adjusts his hand around mine, and I notice how much softer his fingers are these days. No construction work to create calluses, I guess.

  “Just so you know,” I say, “those were Josh’s words. Not mine.”

  “You don’t think I’m an asshole?”

  “No. Like Angel said earlier, you can’t help who you fall in love with. And she’s an amazing woman. I can see why you’d choose her.”

  For a second, his fingers tighten around my hand, then they release. “That’s a pretty mature attitude. Can’t say I’d be as understanding if I were in your position.”

  “Sure you would.”

  His expression turns dark. “I really wouldn’t. Trust me. I’m still recovering from you having a boyfriend. Well, ex.”

  Before I have time to ask what that means, he sighs and gives me a smile. “Anyway, let’s see how you cope with me taking this dancing thing up a notch. I have moves that will blow your mind. Brace yourself.”

  He takes a step back and spins me under his arm. I clumsily follow his lead, all the while cringing at my complete lack of grace.

  “Not bad,” he says as he wraps his arms around me from behind. “I give you points for effort.” He grabs my hand and pushes on my waist, and I spin out before he pulls me back in again. Then, as I’m busy trying to regain my balance, he dips me. The action is so unexpected, I squeal and lose my footing. Just when I’m sure I’m going to face-plant into the dance floor, his arm tightens around me to stop my descent. “It’s okay. I’ve got you.” He smiles as he holds me nearly horizontal to the floor. “And what’s more, I’ve finally found it.”