Fly Like a Bird

by Jana Zinser

  “Sometimes life is like a soap opera, don’t you think, Miss Shirley?”

  Miss Shirley nodded. “Yeah, except I never knew one soul who got amnesia for real. Some people wish they could forget.” Her deep laugh boomed. “Speaking of soap operas, I sure got a good laugh when I heard how you stood up to old Thelma. Thinks she’s Miss It, she does. That was a nice thing you did for Otis.”

  Ivy smiled and shrugged. “He’s family.”

  Miss Shirley slapped her knee and waved her hands in the air. Then she sang Leon Wilson’s words. “Dig down deep” She pointed to Ivy. “Sing it with me, Snowflake.”

  Ivy threw her head back and they sang together. “Until you find the fight in your soul.”

  They laughed in the warmth of their shared history. Then Ivy cleared her throat.

  “Miss Shirley, I came here today to do something Grandma asked me to do.”

  Miss Shirley clasped her hands together in prayer and shook them back and forth. “God rest her soul. Your grandmother was a fine woman. A fine woman.”

  “I came to talk to you about letting Justin know he’s also a part of our family.”

  Miss Shirley threw up her hands. “Ah. Lordy. Ivy girl, I don’t know what it will mean to a black child to find out he has white family.” She rocked back and forth on the couch. “Mm. Mm. Mm.”

  Ivy put her hand on Miss Shirley’s shoulder. “Grandma said her soul wouldn’t rest until our family did right by Justin.”

  “You listen to me. Your grandmother was very generous to Justin. She had nothing to feel bad about.”

  “Our family turned our backs on Justin. It’s time we make it right. Angela, Uncle Walter, and I want him to be a part of our family.”

  Miss Shirley’s eyebrows raised. “What about Tommy and Hattie?”

  “We’re going to do this with or without them. Their reign over our family has passed. It’s a new generation of Taylors now.”

  Miss Shirley stood up. “I’m not sure how Justin will feel. That boy thinks I’m his mother. He never even asked who his father was, just assumed it was Max, and Max embraced the role. Max made sure Justin didn’t miss out on anything, but Justin doesn’t know his real father is his brother.” Miss Shirley paced around her living room. “Have you considered that some people in this town aren’t very forgiving sometimes?”

  “Grandma’s secrets weighed her down. I don’t want to live like that.”

  “Yes, I suppose so.” Miss Shirley let out a heavy sigh. “I’ll talk to Justin.”

  Ivy put her hand on Miss Shirley’s arm. “Thanks, Miss Shirley. Thank you for loving Justin and taking care of him all these years.”

  “Girl, having Justin in my life has been a pure gift of joy from heaven.”

  Then the two women, who had faced fate together many times, embraced each other with the knowledge that nothing would be the same again. A tear from Miss Shirley’s face fell on Ivy’s cheek. “Ivy child, there must be some black in you somewhere, because you’re too good to be a white girl.”

  Chapter 44

  NOTHING WORSE THAN BEING CAUCASIAN

  A few days later, Ivy hurried to the Coffey Shop before it opened to meet Justin as Miss Shirley had arranged. Ivy pulled up her collar as the wind whipped her hair in front of her face. The cold weather kept people indoors and downtown Coffey stood deserted.

  Ivy stepped inside. The old steam heater always made the restaurant cozy in the winter. Seventeen-year-old Justin sat in the back-corner booth drumming his fingers on the table. Ivy hurried over to him and touched his shoulder. “Justin.”

  Justin, a junior in high school, slid out of the booth and stood up. “Well, if it isn’t my long-lost relative.”

  Ivy wrapped her arms around him. “Where’ve you been all my life?”

  “Stuck in the corn.”

  They laughed and sat down at the table. Kitty came over. Her light-blue uniform had not changed over the years, but now she wore thick support support hose and Nike tennis shoes. She took their order for Green Rivers. Then she disappeared into the kitchen. Miss Shirley anxiously watched Ivy and Justin from the grill.

  Ivy searched Justin’s gray eyes. “Grandma told me about you right before she died.”

  “How come she never told you before that?”

  “She was sort of big on family secrets. She felt that Angela had a right to her decision. When you were born, Angela thought if I knew, I would go and get you. Drag you home in my bike basket, I guess.” Ivy shrugged. “She was probably right.”

  “Yeah, I can just see us, like Elliot and ET, with my little blanket around my head like a hood, flying through the air on your bike.”

  They both laughed as Kitty approached with their drinks.

  “You guys telling secrets over there?” Kitty asked.

  “Yeah, sort of,” said Ivy.

  When Kitty went into the kitchen again, Ivy leaned across the table. “Anyway, when Grandma got really sick, she told me. She said her soul couldn’t rest until I brought you back into our family. She made me promise. I guess she should’ve considered that you might not want to be a part of our family.”

  Justin gritted his teeth. “Well, I always liked your Grandma and Uncle Walter, but there’s a few others I’m not too thrilled about.”

  Ivy laughed and nodded. “Yeah, well, me, too.” She paused. “Angela—your mother— hasn’t been back to Coffey since you were born. She hates her parents for making her give you up. She never got married or had any other children.”

  Justin’s gray eyes watched Ivy. He always seemed older than his years. “Ivy, my brother is my father. My mother is my grandmother, and I’m part white. Do you realize how weird all this is for me?”

  Ivy imitated Virgil Jackson’s voice. “Nothing worse than being a Caucasian.”

  Justin laughed. “You got that right, Doll Baby.”

  They both laughed loudly. Miss Shirley looked over at them from the grill and smiled.

  “Anyway, you owe me big time for pulling you out of the corn when you were little,” Ivy teased.

  “Yeah, I was a goner.”

  “So, I heard. You know, you and I were both raised by our grandmothers.” Ivy held her glass in the air in a toast. “Here’s to grandmas.”

  Justin bumped his glass with hers. “God bless grandmas.”

  They sipped their drinks in silence for a moment.

  “I know it might take a little time to get used to all of this, but do you think you would like to meet Angela?”

  Justin looked down. “I don’t know. What if she’s disappointed? I mean she didn’t want me because I’m black. I haven’t changed.”

  “Oh, she wanted you! She won’t be disappointed, I promise you. Why don’t you come over for supper and see?”

  “Okay. I guess I can do that. When?”

  “How about next Sunday?”

  Justin took a sip of his drink and set the glass down. “All right, I guess. If you’re sure.”

  “Good, it’s settled then.” Ivy pointed her finger at Justin. “You can’t back out now, I’m going to tell Uncle Tommy and Aunt Hattie.”

  “You know where I live anyway,” Justin said.

  “That’s true. Don’t mess with me. Did you hear we busted Otis out of the Rose Hill maximum security facility?”

  Justin laughed. “Yeah, my mom told me. She said you had a knockdown, drag-out fight with Thelma and you won.”

  Ivy wiggled her fingers at him. “What can I say, the spirits were restless on Halloween. The evil pixie went down. I heard the county’s investigating. Thelma might actually have to be nice to people.”

  “Don’t know if that’ll happen.” He laughed. “I guess I’d better not back out of supper.”

  “I’m glad you understand my power.”

  Chapter 45

  THE PIES

  The cold winter left the rich, black soil frozen and bare. The snow that usually transformed the Iowa landscape into a magical white illusion still refused to fall that dry
December night of Justin’s reunion supper. Otis had gone over to Virgil’s to play poker with Max and to give the family a chance to get to know each other.

  Angela waited inside the house with Uncle Walter and Carly. Ivy stayed on the porch, pacing nervously. She had to make this reunion successful. She had promised Grandma.

  At five o’clock, Uncle Tommy, Aunt Hattie, and Russell walked around the back of the house and up to the porch. Uncle Tommy chewed on a mouthful of sunflower seeds. The tilt of his black cowboy hat almost covered his eyes. “Well, we’re here. Are you happy?”

  He turned his head and spat sunflower shells into the backyard. He tipped his cowboy hat up a little.

  Aunt Hattie flipped her hand at Ivy. “That boy is an abomination in the sight of the Lord. God made his skin black to pay for the sins of his ancestors.”

  “Oh, shut up Hattie. Please, not today. I’m tired of your Bible-thumping,” Uncle Tommy said.

  “Aunt Hattie, you know what the Lord doesn’t like?” said Ivy. “All your hate.”

  The back door opened, and Uncle Tommy looked up. Angela came out on the porch. Nobody said anything. Aunt Hattie stared at Angela. Uncle Tommy cleared his throat and adjusted his glasses, looking at the daughter he had not seen in sixteen years. “What’d you do to your hair?”

  “I cut it,” Angela said.

  Tommy nodded. “It looks short.”

  Russell rolled his eyes at his Dad and hugged his sister. “It looks good.”

  “Thanks, Russell. Listen, Dad, I want my son back and I’m willing to do whatever it takes,” Angela said. “If you and Mom don’t want to be a part of it, I want you to leave.”

  Uncle Tommy shuffled his cowboy boots. He cleared his throat and ran his hand over his balding head. “I guess I might not have been completely right when I made you give that boy up.”

  Angela leaned against the porch railing. “His name is Justin.”

  Uncle Tommy put his hands in the back pocket of his jeans. “Yeah, I know. Ivy told us.”

  “Are you trying to say you’re sorry?” Angela asked.

  “If that’s what it sounds like,” Uncle Tommy said as he tapped the old green glider with the toe of his black cowboy boot. “Then I guess that’s what it is.”

  Angela held out her arms to the father who had turned his back on her. Uncle Tommy walked into her embrace. Aunt Hattie stared at her husband and daughter as if she didn’t recognize them.

  “You were so weak back then, wanting me to let her keep that boy and you’re weak now. It’s an abomination unto the Lord,” said Aunt Hattie.

  “You wanted to let me keep him?” Angela asked.

  “Didn’t exactly like the idea but giving him up seemed worse. But Hattie was determined and I owed her one. But she’s right about one thing. I was weak. Shouldn’t have made you give him up.”

  Justin strolled up the path to the porch. He seemed confident and eager, but Ivy knew he was worried about the reception he would receive. The rest of the family automatically moved aside and let Angela step forward to meet her son. She held her arms out to him.

  “Welcome home. I’m sorry I’ve been gone so long,” Angela said, touching his face. “Having you was the best thing I ever did. You’re beautiful.”

  “So are you,” Justin said as he wrapped his arms around her in an embrace that was seventeen years in the making.

  Ben appeared on the path, wearing his EMT uniform. Angela smiled at him over Justin’s shoulder. Ben smiled back.

  When Angela and Justin stepped apart, Russell held his hand out to Justin. “Hi, Justin.”

  Justin shook his hand. “Hey, Russell, how’s it going?”

  Uncle Tommy took off his cowboy hat and fondled the brim in his hands. He cleared his throat and looked around at his family. “Justin, I’m not promising anything, mind you.” His voice cracked. “But, well, don’t expect too much.”

  Justin smiled. “Okay.”

  Ben walked up to Angela. “You look good.”

  “So do you.”

  “So, does that mean you’re all staying for supper?” Ivy said.

  Uncle Tommy shifted his weight and tapped his cowboy hat against this thigh. “I reckon. We’re having Miss Shirley’s pies, aren’t we?”

  Ivy put her hand over her mouth. “Oh my gosh, with all the fuss, I forgot to pick up the pies. I hope Kitty left the back door open.”

  “The door is broken again. It sticks. I’ll go with you and show you how to get it open,” Justin said.

  “Okay. Justin and I will go get the pies. We’ll be back in a second,” said Ivy. “Sorry, everyone.”

  Uncle Tommy put his cowboy hat back on his head and pulled his keys out of his pocket. “I’ll drive you.”

  Ivy looked at Justin and raised her eyebrows. He shrugged. “Sure, why not?” He turned to Angela and Ben. “I’ll be back in a minute, Mom, Dad. This is really weird, but don’t go anywhere.”

  Angela’s eyes teared up. “I’ll be here waiting for you.”

  Ben nodded at Justin.

  Ivy and Justin climbed into Uncle Tommy’s truck. Uncle Tommy started the engine but left it idling. He nodded as if deciding what to say before turning to Justin.

  “Hey, I guess I should’ve driven you to the doctor’s clinic when you fell in the corn.”

  Justin nodded back. “That’s okay, Reuben did.”

  Uncle Tommy nodded. “Yeah, he did. He’s a good man.”

  Then Uncle Tommy backed his truck out of the driveway and drove to town. As he parked in the lot behind the Coffey Shop, the deputy sheriff pulled in behind them. The three of them walked toward the back door of the restaurant as Charlie leaned out of his car window.

  “Hey, Tommy, looks like criminal activity afoot. You breaking and entering the Coffey Shop?”

  “Hey, Charlie, just picking up our pies. Ivy forgot them.” Uncle Tommy adjusted his cowboy hat.

  Charlie stared at Justin and pointed his chin at him. “What’s he doing with you? He letting you in?”

  Uncle Tommy shook his head. “No.” He took a deep breath. He scratched the back of his neck and nodded at Justin. “He’s my grandson.”

  Charlie’s mouth fell open. “Good God, Tommy, have you lost your mind? Do you realize what you’re saying?”

  “Yep, I reckon I do.” He put his hand on Justin’s back. “He’s Angela’s boy.”

  Uncle Tommy held the Coffey Shop door open and turned to Justin. “Hurry up, son. I’ve got a hankering for some pie.”

  Ivy followed them in, smiling. Maybe it was worth it, even if it took a lifetime to find your family.

  Chapter 46

  THE WINGS OF HOPE

  After everyone went to bed that night, Ivy felt anxious, as if she had forgotten something. She went down the hall to Grandma’s old bedroom, untouched since Grandma last slept there. Ivy had completed her promise to Grandma. Justin had come home. Grandma’s soul could rest peacefully now.

  Ivy pulled aside the red velvet curtains and looked out Grandma’s bedroom window at the vacant trees and the spot where the big, old maple tree used to stand, empty now in its absence.

  “Are you sitting on your back porch in the Great Hereafter, Grandma? Because I’ve done what you asked. Did you see Justin come home? The secrets are all gone. It’s going to be okay.”

  She closed the curtains, still unable to shake her unease. At midnight, snow began to fall. The feeling that something remained undone still gnawed at her. She lay awake, watching the world transform outside. The woods lay sleepy and quiet, wrapped in a blanket of white.

  Ivy got up early, unable to sleep and anxious for the morning. She put on baggy sweats and fixed hot tea in the kitchen. A commotion, like muffled chattering, stirred in the backwoods. Probably those nasty squirrels. Ivy slipped on her boots by the back door and went to investigate what new mischief the squirrels had created.

  Pushing the heavy snow back with the bottom of the storm door, Ivy stepped out onto the porch. The sky hung low, clou
dy, and gray. The limbs of the trees sagged with the weight of the new snow, like the snow that fell the night Grandma died. A heavy dampness settled around Ivy’s heart.

  She walked into the backyard, listening for the strange noise, straining for something familiar. She had grown used to the quiet of the woods since the birds vanished. But something sounded in the trees. A low fluttering like eyelashes brushing against a pillow whispered in the cold hush of the morning.

  Ivy stood still and cocked her head. Her ears strained to recognize the sound. Then a small bird flew out of a nearby juniper bush, the first bird in the backyard since Grandma had died. It fluttered in the air, as if uncertain where to turn. The chickadee paused on top of the full but unused bird feeder. The bird tilted its head back and forth as if receiving some awaited message, and then it flew straight at Ivy.

  Ivy took a step back and closed her eyes, preparing for the impact of the bird. But nothing happened. She felt the light fluttering of wings and opened her eyes. The gray and white chickadee with a black cap and a black stripe over its eyes sat on her shoulder. She froze in wonder. Then with gradual recognition, she relaxed her tense muscles. Ivy spoke in the sing-song tone Grandma had used with her bird friends.

  “Well, hello, Sweetie Pie. Where have you been?”

  The nearby trees rustled. A thrush sang a sweet solo in the unearthly stillness. When it finished its hymn, it flew up into the air and was joined by another thrush. Then together they landed on Ivy’s other shoulder. Ivy gazed in amazement.

  “Why, Miss Susie, you finally found Sir Lancelot.”

  Then the murmuring began again. The bare branches of the trees whispered, and the woods rumbled. Snow shook loose from the branches and floated to the ground. Then the hushed sound of small wings moving against the air, like pages quickly turning, grew louder.

  More birds landed on Ivy’s shoulders. She stood with her arms outstretched as the birds came to her from all over the woods. They lit on her shoulders, arms, and head until the winged creatures covered her. A wave of warm electricity rushed through Ivy’s body and the smell of lilacs filled her nose. The hair on the back of her neck stood up and her body tingled. She shuddered from the impact of knowing.