The Rock Star (Hollywood Heartthrobs Book 2)

by Tabitha Bree

  My palms start to sweat.

  “I wanted to speak to you here, rather than at the studio next week. I don’t want you distracted on set, so perhaps we can chat now and you can be ready to work on Monday.”

  “Okay,” I say, reminding myself to breathe while she pauses to type something on her laptop.

  She closes the top, tilting her head to face me. “The film I told you about officially has the green light, and I’m getting my team together. I wanted to let you know that I’ve been very impressed by your work on Legends of the Sea, and the commitment you’ve showed to keeping Xavier in line. That interview he did is going to bring great press to the film. Nolan couldn’t be happier.”

  “That’s great,” I squeak, my throat going dry at the mention of Xavier’s name.

  “I want you to join my team, to come on board as first AD. This film will be even bigger than Legends, but I think you’re up for the challenge.”

  My mouth gapes open. Brad, Meryl, Leo… one of the Chris’s. This is the dream film.

  So why don’t I feel as happy as I thought I would?

  Katherine is waiting for my response, so I take in a long breath and smack on a smile. “Wow,” I gush. “That’s an amazing opportunity. Thank you so much.”

  “You’ve earned it. And I know you won’t let me down.”

  “I won’t. I promise.”

  And I know I’m being honest. This film is going to do wonderful things for me, life changing things. And I really am grateful for the opportunity.

  I’m just realizing now it’s not the only thing I want in my life.

  Katherine watches me, narrowing her eyes and leaning forward, resting her arms on her knees. “You’re not happy.”

  “What? No, of course I’m happy! This is incredible news. I guess I’m just soaking it in.”

  She purses her lips together. “Delilah, I study actors for a living. I read emotion on faces and judge what kind of story it’s telling. And your face is telling me that something’s wrong.”

  Oh my God. My stupid traitor face is going to talk me right out of a job.

  “Honestly, Katherine, I couldn’t be happier with this opportunity.”

  She stands up and walks to her bar cart, fixing two glasses with tonic water, gin, and a squeeze of lime. She passes one to me, which I look at with wide eyes.

  “I’m not sure I trust myself with this on suede.”

  “It’s clear.” She shrugs. “I only have clear liquids in this house.”

  I smile tightly and take it as she sits down opposite me.

  “Okay, I’m no longer boss Katherine. I’m friend Katherine. You have five minutes, go.”

  I give a nervous laugh, but the look on her face says she’s not letting me off the hook until I come out with it.

  “Um…” I start, taking a sip of my drink first. “Well… there is a man. And I’ve recently discovered that I have feelings for him, and he has them for me.”

  “And you’re scared of commitment?”

  “Well, yes. But that’s not the problem. It’s that he’s moving across the country to start his life over. And he’s made it pretty clear he’s doing it alone.”

  “I see…” She takes a delicate sip, places her glass on the table, and interlaces her fingers. “Let me give you some advice, Delilah. You’re a very talented woman, and I can see you doing what I do someday. But here’s the thing—relationships, partners, marriage, however you chalk it up, they are simply roadblocks to getting what you want. Would I be where I am if I let myself get swept up in men and children and all of that noise?”

  I know this is meant as a rhetorical question, but I suddenly feel sad Katherine has spent her life thinking it has to be one or the other.

  “If this man is moving away, then let him. Use your energy to be the best in your field. Your career will never cheat on you, never leave you unfulfilled, and it certainly will never walk out the door and move across the country.”

  I nod, forcing a smile. “You’re probably right.”

  Katherine lifts her shoulders as if to say ‘well, obviously’ and we both sit in silence for a moment, sipping our drinks. Looking around her beautiful living room, it hits me. No photographs, no toys on the floor, no birthday cards on the mantle or other people walking in and out of the rooms. Professionally, Katherine is everything I want to be. But being here in her home, I realize the one thing she doesn’t have in her life.

  Love.

  And like a tsunami, I’m hit with the realization. I’m in love with Xavier. Like, head-over-heels, don’t want to kick him out before cuddling, happy to share my eyeliner, in love with him.

  I still want my career, and I’m still going to work my ass off, but I refuse to believe I have to pick between professional success and a personal life. Maybe it will be hard, and maybe I will be forever trying to find a balance, but that’s better than this big empty house with no one to fill it.

  “Thank you, Katherine,” I say, standing up. “I know what I have to do now.”

  We say our goodbyes and I get in my car, pulling out my phone and holding it to my ear.

  “Hello?” Adam’s voice comes through.

  “Hey, put me on speaker so Evie can hear too.”

  A pause.

  “Okay, we’re both here.”

  “Hi Dee!” Evie chirps.

  I smile to myself, already knowing this is the right thing to do. Just talking to the both of them, imagining them sitting there together, so happy. It’s a no brainer.

  “Remember when you called me, Adam? The night before we wrapped Primal Nature, because you wanted my help with the grand gesture for Evie?”

  Evie’s voice coos down the line. “Awww… with the fairyland set and the smoke machine. That was so sweet.”

  I can tell without seeing anything that she’s looking at him, all adorable and sickening. And he’s probably rolling his eyes and blushing, but secretly loving the look on Evie’s face.

  “Yes, I remember,” Adam says.

  I take a shaky breath, this time embracing the butterflies that swarm in my stomach.

  “Well… I need you to return the favor.”

  34

  Xavier

  “Will you stop fucking around? We should have left already.”

  I lift Jack’s handbag up from the table, trying to spot my missing wallet. “Why are you stressing balls? I know you like a drink, but this eagerness to get to the bar is alarming, even for me.”

  Jack makes a grumbling sound in her throat and crosses her arms, checking the time on her phone again.

  “If you’re that desperate to get out of here, you could be useful and help me look.”

  “We’ve already looked all over! Who cares about your stupid wallet? We have mine.”

  I look at her with wide eyes. “We have mine?” I say with air quotes. “When have you ever paid for the drinks? Ever since we’ve been twenty-one it’s been me.”

  “I guess I owe you a few, then. Let’s go, let’s go.” She sweeps her arms toward the door, and I arch my eyebrow at her.

  Giving Benson a scruff on the head, I walk out the door, getting into the private car that awaits us. We roll down my long driveway and Jack checks her phone again, stuffing it into her small black bag.

  “You know, you’re acting really weird,” I say.

  “I’m not acting weird. I’m just sick of waiting around. Trying to get you to do anything is like herding cats. I don’t know how Dee puts up with you at work.”

  The smile fades from my face at the mention of her name.

  She didn’t come running after me when I told her I was putting a few states between us, not that I expected her to. Part of me wanted to go back inside and take it all back, tell her I could get past the video thing and we could start over. But I was tired of putting my neck on the line, only to have my head chopped off. I’d spent too many years chasing women who, in the end, didn’t love me. Who didn’t even really like me.

  Moving to Portland
is my new beginning. It will be hard adjusting to a new city… being away from Jack and Dad… but I will be able to reinvent myself there. No more bad boy wannabe Mick Jagger, just me and my acoustic guitar. Maybe I will even take it right back and play at small bars around the city and make a new name for myself amongst the locals. Of course, if my rebrand is successful, my new manager will probably want me to move right back to LA. But I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it. Right now, getting the hell out of dodge seems like the right move.

  I just have to ignore the sinking feeling in my stomach long enough to be excited about it.

  Telling Dee I loved her out loud felt like I’d signed some invisible contract, and now I can’t lie to myself and pretend it’s not true. I love Dee. I’ve loved Dee for quite a while. But this feeling is familiar… this sense of wanting to put all my eggs in one basket. And that feeling has betrayed me before. So now I’m just left with the sad longing that will never be fulfilled. Because I can’t take another risk on someone whose feelings aren’t as strong as mine. On someone who doesn’t know me the way I want them to.

  “We’re here!” Jack announces, sitting up with nervous energy.

  “Okay, seriously. What is wrong with you?”

  “It’s been a long fucking week and I need a drink. Remember the ‘my apartment was riddled with bedbugs’ thing? I know that doesn’t happen to superstars like yourself but—”

  “Okay, whatever, let’s get inside and get you a drink so you’ll shut up.”

  We walk inside and are swallowed by the red-tinged lighting bouncing off the exposed brick walls. I spot a setup in the corner and drop my head back with a groan.

  “Did you know it was open mic night?” I ask Jack.

  “What’s wrong with that? I would assume you are supportive of emerging young musicians.”

  “You assume wrong.”

  “God, you’re a grump tonight,” she says, waving down the bartender. “How many drinks is it going to take for you to lighten up?”

  I see a nervous looking dude in one of the side booths, strumming his guitar, which is clearly out of tune. “At least four.”

  With a double whiskey in hand, we make our way to a booth with a clear view of the small stage. As always, I can never be discreet, and many pairs of eyes follow me around the room. One particular girl with long red hair bounces in her booth, tapping the guy next to her. He glances over and nods with far less enthusiasm.

  “People are going to expect me to get up there. You do realize that, right?”

  Jack rolls her eyes. “You’re paranoid.”

  I grumble and bring my drink to my lips. That’s the thing about being a famous musician. You can’t go to any kind of music event without people expecting something from you. I’m a performing monkey. Karaoke was different, because I orchestrated that whole thing so me and Dee could have some fun.

  My stomach twists as I remember those kinds of nights together won’t be happening again. I can still remember her face so clearly… grinning at me the whole time, singing our ridiculous duet. It was the most fun I’d had in forever.

  “Hey folks, let’s get this show on the road,” a guy says, stepping up to the mic on stage. “Our first performer describes herself as a complete rookie with stage fright. Make her feel welcome.”

  I scoff into my drink, shooting my eyes to Jack. “I’m sure this is going to be great.”

  A weird smirk spreads across her lips as she watches the stage, and I turn to see a dude sitting on a chair, holding a guitar.

  And Dee.

  Dee is on stage. Behind the microphone. Looking like she is about to throw up.

  “I’m a little nervous,” she breathes into the mic as the guitarist starts playing, and as he strums the first few chords, I recognize the song instantly.

  Because it’s mine.

  But it’s not from any of my albums, it’s one I wrote in high school. The one I was playing when Dee caught me on the beach in Hawaii.

  “Like an acorn to a tree, we’ll grow strong and tall…”

  As I hear my lyrics from her lips, my chest seizes.

  “Just like paper I will fold, giving in to your love…”

  In the shock of it all, my brain has forgotten how to operate my lungs. I’m sat frozen, caught in the moment. I flick my eyes to Jack and she is smiling, watching Dee, but not sharing my surprise.

  “What’s going on?” I whisper.

  Jack tilts her head. “Isn’t it obvious?”

  I notice the red head girl again, and she looks like she’s about to hyperventilate, she’s so excited. It’s like someone is telling a joke and everyone in the room has heard the punchline except me.

  The guitarist strums harder as they get into the chorus.

  “I won’t let you down, so in time, maybe in time…

  Darlin’ I’m yours to keep, so be mine, baby be mine...”

  The guitarist plays between the chorus and next verse, and Dee finally looks over to me, her hands trembling around the microphone stand. She smiles crookedly and shrugs. And it’s the most vulnerable I’ve ever seen another human in my life.

  Dee starts singing again, and now that my body has remembered how to function again, I can tune in properly… listen to her beautiful voice. And it is beautiful, even when it’s shaky. The nerves somehow make it more delicate, and give it a raw quality. I knew she was a good singer that night at karaoke, but I never expected her to be able to sing like this.

  Especially a song that hardly anyone knows about.

  I feel like I’m in some strange, alternate universe. Like a fantasy that teenage me thought up has come to life before my eyes.

  The woman I love, singing me the first and only real love song I’ve ever written. A song that has remained largely a secret.

  There’s something therapeutic about it… the sound vibrations reverberate through my body, circling around any deep-seated trauma, every bad memory, all the negative thoughts I’ve ever had… and suddenly, it’s all gone. The slate is wiped clean. It’s like the song is healing me… instilling me with hope and a new perspective. All the stupid gossip and the bad choices I’ve made and the people who have wronged me no longer matter… because the only thing that matters is the woman standing up in front of the world, with her eyes locked on mine, serenading me with my own song.

  It’s so poetic I want to write another fucking song right now.

  “Darlin’ I’m yours to keep, so be mine, baby be mine.”

  As the song goes through the last chorus, I don’t want it to end. I could stay here forever, listening to Dee sing to me, letting her wash away all the hurt.

  Darlin’ I’m yours to keep, so be mine, baby be mine.”

  The guitar slows and with Dee’s eyes honed on mine, they well up as she sings the last line.

  Darlin’ I’m yours to keep, so be mine, baby be mine.”

  The room erupts in cheers and Dee wipes her eyes, smiling and blushing at the ground as she steps off the stage. The MC takes her place, joining in on the applause.

  “All right! What a way to start! I don’t think there’s a dry eye in the house?”

  He goes on to introduce the next act and Dee makes her way across the room.

  “Now would be an excellent time to go talk to her, so I’m not stuck in the middle of your mushy reunion,” Jack says with a wry smile. I don’t have the ability to say anything smart ass back. All I care about is getting to Dee as quickly as humanly possible.

  I scramble out of my seat.

  “So… surprise,” Dee says, shrugging as we meet at the back of the room.

  “How…?”

  “I got Jack to do some snooping and find the music at your place,” she says. “And my friend Adam knew someone who could play.”

  “Dee… I—”

  “No, let me go first.” She holds up her hand. “I’m so sorry for what I said about you in that video, and for piling on when the world was already talking shit about you. And I totally respect your
desire to start fresh and move away, and I don’t know what it feels like to be in the spotlight all the time. But before you move across the country, I just need you to know that if you stay, I’ll be here for you. I’ll roll my eyes along with you when someone writes some garbage article online. I’ll dress up in crazy outfits so no one recognizes you. I’ll even go all Justin Bieber on the paparazzi if they get up in your space. You don’t have to leave for your fresh start. We can do it here, together.”

  She’s smiling now, her eyes still glassed over.

  “The point is, I want to be in your corner… if you’ll have me.”

  I swallow past the swelling in my throat.

  “I’ve wanted to have you since the moment I saw you,” I say, my voice hoarse. “But staying in LA?” My eyes flick to the floor. “I don’t kn—”

  My words are brought to a stop by her soft fingers touching my lips. “Wait, before you say anything else, there was one more thing I wanted to say.”

  She moves her fingers off my lips and slides them over the sides of my head, bringing her face closer until her mouth is on mine. The feeling of her kiss is like an alarm going off… a wake-up call, reminding me of all the things I really want.

  She breaks away, her face just a few inches from mine. “I love you, too.”

  And then my chest swells, like my ribcage can’t contain my heart anymore, like it’s trying to jump out and land in Dee’s hands, where it belongs. Where somewhere deep inside me, I know it will be safe.

  I grin, and she wipes away the tear that has managed to escape my eye.

  “So what do you say?” she asks, her eyes still wide and studying mine. “Do you want to do this thing… this life thing, together?”

  I breathe in, and my whole body is energized. I’ve been born again.

  “Fuck yes I do.”

  35

  Dee

  “What time is she coming?” Xavier asks me, bustling around and tidying up.

  “She’s your manager, honestly.” I walk over and make him stay still for a few seconds, placing my hands on his shoulders. “She’ll be here in thirty minutes. And you need to chill out.”