Love's Broken Vow

by Honey

  There were nights when Father Gregory would lie in bed unable to sleep, wishing that Royce would pay him a secret visit at the parsonage. He didn’t necessarily want to be intimate with her. He just wanted to be in her presence. She was a joy to be around. Her smile and sense of humor brought out the best in him. The silent moments when he would lie with her in his arms were priceless. However, his relationship with God was more important to him. It was the reason Father Gregory had ended his brief affair with Royce. As a priest, he had chosen God over the woman he loved, and she had accepted his decision. Because of their resolution, he expected peace and blessings in his future and in Royce’s as well.

  Chapter Eighteen

  The slow pitter-patter of unexpected rain woke Royce from a restless sleep. The light taps against her windowpane reminded her of a sluggish jazz drummer playing off the beat. It was an on-and-off-again sprinkle that she hoped would soon end. Royce closed her eyes and rolled over onto her back, willing her brain to return to subconsciousness.

  “Royce!”

  Her heart did a somersault when she heard a male voice call her name. A soft tap on her windowpane followed the faint shout. There was another strike against the glass and then a third one. Royce heard her name again. The rich timbre was louder this time. She wanted to attribute the voice outside her window and the tapping to her imagination or sleep deprivation, but her heart told her the truth. Father Gregory was outside. He wanted to see her. Royce’s pulse accelerated from the thrill of being wanted.

  She reached over and turned on the lamp on her nightstand, but she didn’t sit up in bed. Seconds passed as she lay flat on her back with her heart racing, waiting to hear his voice and the sound of rocks hitting her window again. The light from the lamp was her signal to acknowledge his presence outside. It was his turn to respond.

  “Royce, it’s me, Nicholas. Come to the door.”

  Nicholas? Royce repeated the name silently. A smile crept across her face. She’d never addressed him by his first name, not even while they were in the throes of passion. During those steamy moments, his actions were anything but priestly, yet she still called him Father Gregory. Another rock or some unknown object pounded against the windowpane. Royce snatched the covers from her body and left the bed. She tiptoed to the window and turned the wand to open the Venetian blinds. There, below on the ground directly beneath her bedroom window stood the finest man in the universe. He was dressed in black from crown to sole. Royce released a breath she’d been holding in anticipation of the visual treat her eyes were now beholding.

  “Please come to the door,” he pleaded. “I have something I want to give you.”

  Royce hesitated, unsure of the purpose of Father Gregory’s late-night visit. They were just friends, so why couldn’t he visit her during the daytime or at least before nightfall? Real friends didn’t have to hide out and spend time together behind the shadows of darkness. But Royce and Father Gregory’s relationship had long since passed the purity of friendship, regardless of the unrealistic agreement they’d made. They were lovers in every way that truly mattered. No vow to God or the Roman Catholic Church could erase the bonding of their souls. Even if they never made love again, they would never, ever be just friends.

  The love in her heart yanked her from the window and down the stairs. Dressed in a pink, sheer nightgown that was mid-thigh in length, Royce floated lightly over each step. Fortunately, Tyler was a sound sleeper. He was probably more tired than usual because of all the energy he’d exerted in his game-winning performance on the basketball court the prior evening. Royce wasn’t concerned about him waking up before six o’clock, his normal stirring time. In fact, it was hard to wake the boy most mornings. No, he wasn’t going to get up anytime soon.

  Royce stopped when she reached her front door. She was nervous, excited, and horny, but she didn’t want to reveal her impure feelings to Father Gregory right away. Desperation wasn’t sexy at all. She raked her fingers through her braids and exhaled. After a quick count to ten, she deactivated the security system and opened the door.

  Royce would never develop immunity to his good looks or raw sex appeal no matter how many times he graced her with his presence. Father Gregory was the total male package dressed in a black turtleneck sweater, a pair of black jeans, and his signature black leather bomber. The outfit hung on his exquisite physique perfectly. His handsome face, chiseled body, and charm were more lethal than an arsenal of high-powered weapons. One touch from him could cause Royce’s pink thong to magically drop to her ankles. And there would be no turning back after that. The late-night visit would end with a sexual explosion if they weren’t careful.

  “May I come in?”

  Royce nodded mindlessly and stepped aside.

  Father Gregory entered the warm foyer with a beautiful bouquet of white long-stem roses in one hand. In the other, there was a small, flat gift wrapped in bright red paper and shiny gold ribbon. “These are for you,” he whispered, handing Royce the roses. “This is too.”

  Royce raised the flowers to her nose and inhaled the heavenly scent. “Thank you. They’re very pretty.” She took the offered gift and smiled. “Thanks.”

  “You’re welcome.” Father Gregory looked toward the staircase. “Tyler is asleep, I hope.”

  “You weren’t concerned about my nephew when you were tossing rocks at my window and yelling like a maniac.”

  “I guess I acted sort of silly, huh?”

  “You sure did.”

  “I tried to call you, but you didn’t answer your cell phone. I would’ve awakened Tyler for sure if I had called the house phone.”

  “My phone is in my purse. I’ll bet my battery needs charging by now.”

  “Can we sit down? I’d like you to open your gift.”

  “To what do I owe the flowers and a surprise gift, sir?”

  Father Gregory took Royce by the wrist. “Let’s sit down, so I can tell you.”

  The unexpected visit, the roses, and the present had already knocked Royce off of her game. His take-charge attitude only stoked the fire. There was nothing sexier than a charming man in control and bearing gifts. Royce’s womanly senses peaked to red-hot alert. Something serious was about to go down. On a whim, she decided that her all-white formal living room was the ideal spot for them to talk and do anything else that was on Father Gregory’s agenda. She led him to the double glass doors and stopped.

  Royce faced him in the dark hallway and handed him the roses and unopened gift. “Take off your shoes before you go inside. I’ll be right back.”

  She padded away on bare feet to the kitchen before Father Gregory had a chance to respond. Royce gathered a pair of candles and a lighter and then walked straight to the den. In the closet, she found a huge blue chenille blanket. With everything she needed, she returned to the living room where the love of her life sat on one of the white sofas waiting for her. Royce placed a candle in each of the crystal holders at the ends of the mantle and lit both of them.

  From his slouch on the sofa, Father Gregory reached out his hand to her. “Come and sit down.”

  “I will, but I want to serve you something to drink first. Let me get you a glass of mango juice. I’ll have a glass of wine if that’s okay with you.” Royce paused, cocking her head to the side. She smiled. “I can sip wine in your presence, can’t I?”

  “Of course you can. As a matter of fact, forget about the mango juice. Just bring the bottle of wine. We’ll share it.”

  Royce hurried to the kitchen to remove the bottle of Riesling from the refrigerator. She made haste uncorking it, and she selected a pair of crystal wineglasses from her stemware collection. Her mind was spinning in every direction, and her body was vibrating with anticipation. Wine, flowers, and a gift could lead to only one thing. But there was something missing. Mood music! If added, some smooth jazz would spice up the atmosphere, making it just right for romance. Royce returned to the living room, clutching the bottle of wine in one hand and the pair of wineglasse
s in the other. She was surprised that Father Gregory was no longer sitting on the sofa. He had spread the blanket over the thick white carpet and sprawled out on top of it. He looked irresistible lying on his side with his elbow pressing into the blanket while the side of his face rested on his fist.

  “I see you’ve made yourself at home,” Royce said, offering him the wine and the glasses.

  Father Gregory gave her a lazy smile and sat up. He removed the wine and glasses from her hands. “I hope you don’t mind.” He placed everything on the coffee table.

  “Not at all.” Royce picked up a remote control from an end table and pushed a button. The smooth sound of jazz legend John Coltrane making love to his saxophone filled the air. “You’re a jazz lover, I hope.”

  “It’s my favorite. Coltrane, Miles, Monk, and Parker were some serious cats. I like Ella Fitzgerald, Dinah Washington, and Billie Holiday, too. Max, my stepdad, has a vinyl collection of all the late greats. I grew up listening to jazz because of him. He used to sit in the den on Saturday nights, puffing on his pipe and sipping brandy while Lena Horne sang him to sleep. Every now and then my mama would join him, and before the night was over, they’d dance. My sisters and I would twirl around them like we were at a jazz club.”

  “It sounds sweet.” Royce sat on the blanket and tucked her feet under her bottom. “My parents loved jazz when they were younger. They still do, although they don’t listen to it as much as they used to. Mama likes the blues, too. Daddy doesn’t care for it. He says it’s too depressing.”

  Father Gregory removed the wine and one of the glasses from the coffee table. He poured a moderate amount in one glass and offered it to Royce. Then he filled the other halfway for himself. “Cheers,” he said, touching her glass with his before he took a sip. “Mmm, this is good.”

  “How often do you drink alcohol?”

  “Seldom. The last time I had a drink was Christmas Eve. I sipped on the same glass of merlot all evening at my parents’ house.” He looked at the unopened gift he’d placed on the coffee table.

  Royce followed his line of vision. “I guess I should open that now.” She placed her wineglass on the coffee table.

  Father Gregory nodded.

  “It was very nice of you to bring me flowers and a gift. What’s the occasion?”

  “I’ve never had the pleasure of courting a woman before. I thought it’d be nice to be a gentleman and bring you something nice. You’re special to me, Royce.”

  “How special?”

  “Until I met you, I had no desire to date any woman or make love to one. Now, I want it all, but unfortunately, it’s not possible. Of course, our circumstances are screwed up, but it doesn’t change how I feel about you. I love you, Royce. I know that I shouldn’t, and God knows I’ve tried not to, but I’m powerless. If there were any possibility for us to be together, you would be mine in every way that counts.” He lifted the gift from the table and gave it to her.

  He loves me. The three words brought tears to Royce’s eyes. She let them fall freely as she opened the gift. She tried to control her hands and keep them from shaking, but she was too emotional. She felt special in the magic of the moment. Underneath the pretty red wrapping paper was a velvet jewelry box of the same color. Royce’s heart palpitated. She paused as her eyes fluttered shut.

  “Go ahead, sweetheart. Open it.”

  Royce did as she was told and was surprised beyond her fondest fairy tale. The lovely diamond-encrusted, heart-shaped pendant on a white gold herringbone chain blew her mind. A fresh flow of tears pooled in her eyes. She was helpless to stop them from falling.

  “It’s beautiful. Thank you very much.”

  Father Gregory wiped Royce’s tears away with the back of his hand. “I’m glad you like it. As soon as I spotted it at the jewelry store, I knew it belonged around your neck.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I can’t marry you or even have a normal relationship with you because of the priesthood. But I can’t stop loving you. I would give you the world if I could, Royce. You deserve it and so much more. Since I can’t give you the one thing you want more than anything else, which is my hand in marriage, I plan to give you all that I can.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  “Auntie Royce! Where are you? I need extra money today. Auntie!”

  Royce stirred from her sleep when she heard Tyler bouncing down the stairs and yelling through the house. She suddenly remembered where she was and that she wasn’t alone. Father Gregory was sleeping and snoring lightly on the blanket beside her. Thank God he was fully dressed. They’d chosen not to make love the night before. Instead, they’d sipped wine and talked until sleep overtook them. In a way, a night of sharing their feelings, desires, and ideas had been more intimate than sex.

  Royce hurried to the mantle and blew out the candles. Darkness swallowed the room. She returned to the blanket and knelt down. Pressing her lips to Father Gregory’s ear, she whispered, “Tyler is awake. Stay here and don’t make a sound. I’ll be right back.”

  He reached up and stroked the side of her face and nodded.

  Royce stepped outside the double glass doors and stumbled over Father Gregory’s black running shoes. She snatched them up quickly and tossed them inside the living room and shut the doors. Tyler was in the kitchen. She could hear him opening and closing cabinets. Royce composed herself and walked down the hall.

  “What’s up, Auntie?”

  “Good morning, sweetie. How did you sleep last night?”

  “I was tired. My body and my brain went on strike as soon as my head hit the pillow. What about you? How did you sleep, Auntie?”

  “I slept like a baby, sweet pea. Come upstairs when you finish eating your cereal. I’ll give you the extra money you were screaming your head off about.”

  * * *

  “That was close, Royce.” Father Gregory embraced her from behind and kissed the back of her neck seconds after she closed the front door.

  “It would’ve been a disaster if Tyler had caught you here. Thank God I was able to think fast. Let’s go to the kitchen so I can feed you before you leave to start your day.”

  “I’m sorry, but I don’t have time. I have a nine o’clock appointment at the church.”

  Royce turned around in his arms to face him. “When will I see you again?”

  “I could come here tonight.”

  “I would like that.”

  He lifted the diamond-filled pendant from her chest. “I’ll call you when I’m five minutes away.”

  “I’ll be waiting.”

  Father Gregory leaned in, placed a chaste kiss on Royce’s lips, and left.

  * * *

  “Father, I did not come today to confess any sin. I want you to know that I have spent time with my lover, but we did not yield to temptation. God is good.”

  “Indeed He is,” Father Kyle agreed. However, he was a bit worried about the young man on the other side of the confessional. He sounded as if he truly believed his troubles with fornication were behind him. Unfortunately, he was sadly mistaken. There would be temptation as long as he loved the woman he was involved with and they still had not married. “I am happy that you were not consumed by your flesh. But what do you suppose will happen the next time you are in the presence of your beloved? Are you now immune to your attraction to her? Has your sexual appetite for her miraculously disappeared?”

  “No, it hasn’t, but we’ve made an agreement. We can love each other without having a physical relationship. Although I’m not proud to confess this, we slept together last night. But nothing happened. We held each other and talked, but we did not fornicate.”

  “Did you desire to be intimate with her?”

  “Of course, but I didn’t have sex with her. We abstained. Isn’t that wonderful?”

  “I must admit that was a great spiritual accomplishment, but it was also very foolish of you, my son. You tempted yourself. Only an unwise man would place himself in the path of lust and destruction
. God had mercy on you, but He will not rescue you the next time you take fire into your bosom. If you walk upon hot coals, your feet will be burned. If you wish to be free of sexual sin, my advice to you is to do away with this woman once and for all or marry her.”

  “I can’t live without her. I won’t live without her.”

  “Then marry her or perish.”

  Father Gregory left the confessional abruptly, slamming the door behind him. He was very angry with Father Kyle and shocked by his straightforwardness. Deep in his heart, he knew that the older priest was right, but he didn’t want to receive his spiritual wisdom or advice on the matter. Looking back on the time he’d spent with Royce last night, he now realized that he had acted foolishly. Yet he was very much pleased with himself for not making love to her like he’d so desperately wanted to. He was certain that God was happy with him for practicing self-control. So, why had Father Kyle been so cynical?

  Father Gregory hopped on his Harley and sped away from the church. He didn’t want to think about Father Kyle and his warnings. What did he know about women anyway? He was just some miserable, old dude bound by the traditions of the Roman Catholic Church to live an empty and boring life without the love of a woman. It wasn’t fair or natural, and it wasn’t the kind of life he wanted to live. Father Gregory wanted Royce, and it pained him to imagine living without her.

  “God help me,” he whispered as the wind blew in his face. He whipped around a curve with visions of Royce’s smiling face flashing in his memory.