The Sinful Secret 0f A Broken Earl (Historical Regency Romance)

by Lucinda Nelson

  “And what’s wrong with governesses?”

  Henry sighed and shook his head. “You know that’s not what I meant.”

  “You kept looking at her during dinner the other night.”

  “Now you’re imagining things,” Henry remarked, flippantly, as he picked up his toast.

  “She was looking at you too.”

  She said this just as Henry was about to take a bite of his toast, but her words stopped him in his tracks. “Was she?” He replied, thoughtlessly.

  Slowly, Rachel started to smile. “So you do like her.”

  Henry’s cheeks warmed. He took a bite of his toast and returned his eyes to his paper, trying to look as disinterested as possible. “Why are you interrogating me?”

  “Because I’ve noticed a change.”

  “I’m the same as I’ve always been.”

  “You’re spending more time with Alicia. That’s Miss Riley’s doing, isn’t it?”

  “Can’t I just want to spend time with my daughter?”

  Her face softened, and he could see a tenderness and sympathy in her eyes. “You’ve been afraid of your daughter for a long time, Henry. I’m happy to see that someone has helped you overcome that fear.”

  Henry didn’t know what to say in answer to that. It was the sort of thing that might have awakened his temper just a few weeks earlier. But it was a fact he’d already accepted within himself, which made it easier to hear from someone else’s lips. Especially his sister’s.

  “I’m not criticizing, brother,” she murmured, with that same gentle smile. “I’m happy for you. When Amelia left-”

  Just hearing her name made him flinch. Rachel saw it and reached across the table to touch his hand. “When she left,” she continued. “I could see that you felt like you’d lost Alicia too. But that’s changing now. You seem happier.”

  Henry stared at her hand on his. He hadn’t really thought about how he’d been feeling… but she was right. He was happier. He spent most of his days with his daughter and felt like something precious that had been taken away from him had been returned.

  And Rachel was right; that was because of Maggie. But he wasn’t willing to admit that yet, at least not aloud.

  “So how does she do it?” Rachel asked, her smile widening and her voice losing its seriousness. She quirked a brow at him as she spoke. “How did she get under your skin?”

  “No such thing has happened,” Henry replied.

  “You expect me to believe that it’s a coincidence that Miss Riley shows up and you start spending time with Alicia again. I’m sure she said something, Henry.”

  “She said a great deal,” Henry huffed in response, recalling the brawls he’d had with Maggie not so long ago.

  “She’s forthright then,” Rachel said, with a grin. She leaned forward, with obvious interest. “What else?”

  “There’s nothing to tell,” Henry insisted, but his sister wouldn’t be dissuaded.

  “Oh, don’t be dull. I want to hear about the woman who has captured your interest.”

  “I’m not interested.” It even tasted like a lie.

  Rachel huffed disappointedly and leaned back in her seat. “Fine,” she retorted. “I suppose I’ll have to wait until you’re ready to admit it.” With this, she dabbed a napkin to each corner of her lips and left the breakfast table.

  Henry was left alone at the table, blinking incredulously. He’d forgotten how direct his sister could be. As he finished eating, he tried to forget her pointed remarks. He didn’t appreciate being analyzed by her, or being called out on feelings he’d rather ignore. He refused to entertain whatever he felt for Maggie. He shook his head and tried to put the whole matter out of his mind, but it kept nagging at him. Every time he cast it out of his head, it found a way to sneak back in.

  Was his interest in Maggie so obvious to everyone? He’d barely been able to accept them himself.

  But perhaps a more important question was, did Maggie have feelings for him? She had kissed him after all, but she’d also clearly been avoiding him. He wondered if that meant she was embarrassed, or if there was more to it.

  Had she changed her mind and realized that kissing him in the first place had been a horrendous idea?

  God, he hoped not. Because he would very much like to kiss her again, regardless of what came of it. There was some obvious sexual tension between Maggie and him, combined with a lot of frustration and differences, but he didn’t think it was any more than that. His sister was just being her usual odd, intrusive self.

  It wasn’t more than that.

  He must have told himself this a thousand times before he left the breakfast table.

  ***

  Miss Magdalene Riley, Daughter of the Baron of Brambleheath

  Maggie had been avoiding Henry as best she could, which would have been a lot easier before he’d renewed his interest in his daughter. But with the amount of time Henry was spending with Alicia, Maggie could expect to be happened upon by him at any moment.

  He’d walk into the room and say, “Might I join you?”

  In answer, Maggie would scramble to her feet and excuse herself, while Henry frowned at her with obvious confusion. They hadn’t had a chance to talk about the kiss, thankfully, on account of her exceptional ability to escape at any given time. She’d developed quite the knack for it when she was a child, so that she could evade her parents’ arguments. She’d never expected that particular talent to come in handy.

  Despite her determination to evade Henry, she didn’t feel any disdain for him when she saw him. Instead, she felt a small pang in her chest and felt like she couldn’t look him in the eye. In the kitchens, she’d had this man between her legs. She’d gripped his hair and wanted him awfully.

  By the lake, she’d kissed him with such brazen thoughtlessness, and she still couldn’t be sure what had come over her. It wasn’t like her to make such reckless, foolish decisions. Having done so, it was hard to look at him without blushing. And having enjoyed those kisses so much, it was even harder to look at him without feeling a strange lurch of desire in her stomach.

  She had to remind herself, almost every moment that she was awake, of what Joseph had said. He wouldn’t want anything more from her than a meaningless romp, and that was something she couldn’t give him without sacrificing a great deal more than she was willing to.

  But she was aware, of course, that she’d teased the beast. By kissing him, she’d practically asked him to pursue her. And if he tried to, she wasn’t entirely certain she could resist him. So avoiding him was her best course of action, as far as she was concerned.

  Maggie still couldn’t comprehend the magnitude of her stupidity by the lake that day. To kiss her master, and in front of his daughter too, which was something she’d meant to address with Alicia. Unfortunately, the girl beat her to it.

  “Should I call you mama?” Alicia asked her, rather out of the blue, while Maggie was taking a sip of water. Maggie choked on it, and her eyes widened. They were sitting in the library together at a small table.

  “Pardon?”

  Alicia blinked up at her. They were taking a break from a history lesson so that she could do some drawing. “Should I call you mama?” She said again.

  Maggie swallowed and put her glass down. She knew that she had to address this very carefully, to keep from upsetting Alicia. “Why do you ask that, Alicia?”

  “I saw you and papa kissing.”

  Somehow, she hadn’t expected Alicia to be so forthright. Maggie nodded slowly, trying not to let her shock show. To say that she felt out of her depth would be an understatement. While she tried to think what to say, Alicia put her pencil down and looked up at her. “Will you leave?”

  Maggie’s brow furrowed.

  “Why do you ask that?”

  “My mama left.”

  Maggie felt a horrible pang lance through her chest. Silence hung heavy for a moment, before Maggie shook her head gently and tried to smile. “Sometimes people have t
o leave, Alicia. But I don’t have any intention of leaving. Perhaps for now, I should just be your governess. Do you like me being your governess?”

  Alicia’s brow wrinkled as she thought about this. Then she nodded. “Yes, I like you being my governess. But I might like you as my mama too. I think papa would like that.”

  This time, Maggie’s smile was sincere. “Is that so?”

  “Yes.”

  “Why do you think that?”

  Alicia shrugged up her little shoulders. “He’s not so sad since you came.”

  It was a sweet notion, but one that Maggie couldn’t wholly accept. Whatever change Alicia had seen in her father, Maggie didn’t think it was her doing. She reached out and squeezed Alicia’s hand. “I think spending time with you has made him less sad.”

  This made Alicia smile from ear-to-ear. “I’m happier too,” she said. She then picked up her pencil again and resumed her drawing.

  Chapter 20

  Miss Magdalene Riley, Daughter of the Baron of Brambleheath

  Alicia and Maggie were quiet for a long while after that, with the girl concentrating on her coloring. Then Nurse Beatrice appeared in the doorway.

  “Excuse me, Miss Riley, but would now be a good time to take Miss Alicia for a bath?”

  “Certainly,” Maggie replied. She stood and started gathering up the pencils so that she could put them away. “Go ahead,” she said to Alicia, when the girl looked up at her expectantly.

  Alicia ran off, leaving Maggie alone in the library. In her absence, she started tidying away the remaining pencils and papers. She picked up a picture that Alicia had drawn and looked at it with a small smile. It was a picture of Henry. He looked formidable, even in her drawing. Suited, tall, broad… but he wore the biggest smile. The sight of it almost made her laugh.

  Still smiling, Maggie folded up the drawing and slipped it into one of her pockets. “Quite the drawing.”

  Maggie looked over her shoulder to see Rachel standing in the doorway. “Lady Rivers,” she said, blinking in surprise. She dropped into a quick curtsy.

  “Can I see it more closely?” Rachel asked, approaching with her hand outstretched.

  Maggie, feeling a little embarrassed, pulled the picture from her pocket and handed it to Rachel. “I thought it would be nice to keep it,” she explained. “To show to Lord Rivers,” she added, quickly.

  Rachel laughed warmly when she saw the picture up close. “I love his smile,” she said, gesturing to Henry’s mouth. “She’s made his head rather big.” Rachel tilted her head to the side as she said this, then laughed again. “And his teeth. Look how many there are.”

  Maggie smiled and found herself drawing closer so that she could look at the drawing again. “I love his eyes,” Maggie said. “The color she chose is quite accurate.”

  A child’s drawing. That’s all it was. It was inaccurate in almost every way, but there was something about Alicia’s attempt to capture her father’s visage that made Maggie feel tender and warm. She found herself staring at those eyes, which Alicia had colored an icy blue, with a small smile.

  It was a few moments before she realized that Rachel hadn’t answered. She looked up and caught Rachel staring at her, with a knowing smile.

  Maggie cleared her throat. “You can keep it if you like,” she said.

  “And take it from you? Certainly not.” Rachel pushed the drawing back into Maggie’s hands.

  “Well, I was just going to give it to Lord Rivers. I wasn’t going to keep it for myself,” she lied.

  Rachel quirked her brow and continued to regard Maggie’s face, making it clear that she didn’t believe that for a second. Maggie swallowed. She’d never felt so… so transparent before. Without saying anything, Rachel folded the paper again and slipped it back into Maggie’s pocket.

  “Come sit with me, Miss Riley?”

  As Rachel said this, she gestured towards a long, burgundy sofa facing the library windows, which faced out onto the gardens. The view was remarkable, which was why Maggie often came here when she needed time to think.

  Maggie took a seat, having hesitated for only a moment, and Rachel made herself comfortable beside her. “Now,” she said. “Tell me what you think of my brother.”

  Was everyone in the Rivers family so blunt?

  “He’s a good employer.”

  “Is that all you have to say, Miss Riley?” Rachel replied, with an arched brow. “I sense that you’re a rather strong-willed woman.”

  Maggie had heard that before. From men, mostly, who thought it was a well-disguised insult that she’d consider flattery. But she knew that Rachel meant it as a compliment.

  “What makes you think that?” Maggie wondered, crossing her legs and folding her hands together on top of her knees.

  It was so easy to forget that she was a governess when she was spending time with people like Rachel, who spoke and acted like Maggie had been raised to.

  “I have a sense for these things.”

  Maggie thought that Rachel had a sense for a great many things, so she decided to be at least a little honest. “I have my opinions,” she conceded.

  “Regarding my brother?”

  Maggie mused for a moment, trying to decide how much to say. Her brother would have told her to sing Henry’s praises, especially to his sister, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. That wasn’t who Maggie was.

  “I think he can be surly,” she noted. “Sometimes cold. But I think he loves his daughter very much.”

  “Did you think that when you first arrived here?” She asked, entirely unfazed by Maggie’s criticism of her brother.

  Maggie almost scoffed. “Not in the slightest.”

  “He was inattentive when you first arrived.

  To say the least. Maggie nodded.

  Rachel nodded too. “He has been inattentive for a long time. Since-” Rachel stopped herself before she said anymore, but gave Maggie a knowing look.

  Maggie didn’t want her to speak the words aloud either. She felt that Henry’s wife was a constant shadow over this place. A haunting figure, whose name shouldn’t be spoken. “It ruined him, you know,” Rachel said, more softly and with a trace of pain in her voice.

  Maggie looked down at her hands. She didn’t feel like she should be privy to this information. She’d been so curious about Henry at the start. At times, she’d felt like she would do anything to solve his mystery. Now, she felt like the subject of his wife was one she should avoid at all costs. For everyone’s sakes. Just the thought of her made Maggie’s chest feel sore and tender with sympathy. And something else. An entirely unwelcome feeling.

  Sometimes, when she was especially tired, she would find herself lying in bed, trying to picture what Henry’s wife looked like. She must have been beautiful to have captured Henry’s heart. Maggie remembered the way he’d spoken about her. Even after all this time, there had been so much feeling in his voice. She wasn’t sure if that was hatred or love. Sometimes those feelings were much too alike.

  “He could hardly look at Alicia after she left,” Rachel went on. She wasn’t looking at Maggie anymore. Instead, she was staring out the window. “We were rather close before. Did you know that? That changed too. I’ve hardly seen him in the last year.”

  Maggie remained silent, but she did steal glances at Rachel’s face. It was like Henry’s in many ways. Her eyes were a similar color, and her hair thick and dark just like his was.

  “Do you want to know what he was like before?”

  Desperately, but she wouldn’t have dared ask her, simply because it implied an emotional involvement in Henry that she intended to keep hidden until she was free of it. She nodded politely, doing her best to disguise her interest.

  “He was very sweet. I’d never known a more generous man. He used to smile all the time,” Rachel said, and then she laughed. “Can you believe that?”

  No, she couldn’t.

  “That must be how Alicia remembers him,” Rachel added, softly. “Smiling, as
in her drawing.”

  An air of sadness descended between them. Maggie watched Rachel’s face. Saw the soft wrinkle between her brows. It was several moments before she spoke again. “He’s getting better now,” she observed, with a small smile. “And I think it may have something to do with you.”

  Maggie blinked rapidly. “I think you’re mistaken, my Lady.”

  Rachel’s smile grew a little more, and she shook her head. “I don’t think so. You’re a wonderful influence on him, Miss Riley. I have been speaking to Alfred about you.”