Conflicted (The Corded Saga Book 3)

by Alyssa Rose Ivy

  “Not at the moment,” I admitted. “But it doesn’t mean one won’t come to me when we return.”

  “I’ve tried everything. This is it. I’m not going back without something. They’ve suffered enough.” He looked straight ahead. I followed his gaze but saw nothing.

  “They? Your sisters?” From what Kayla had told me the siblings were all very close.

  “My sisters and every other woman, every girl. Hell, every one of us that’s our generation and younger. We’ve done nothing wrong, yet we’ve all been punished.” His hands rolled into fists at his sides.

  “But what if there is nothing here to find? What if we are wasting our time?” I eyed the sand at our feet. There was a real possibility that sand was the only thing we were going to find.

  “There’s something here. Maybe there are no people, but there will be a clue of some sort. We just have to find it.” Thomas pressed on.

  “Why did everyone lie?” Addison matched my pace. “We all heard the same rumors. That things were okay out here.”

  “And they may be okay in general but not here. We can’t judge a nation based on the desert.” I was just as worried as her, but something in Thomas’ determination rubbed off on me.

  “True. But shouldn’t there be border control? And why all those dead people?” Addison asked good questions. Questions with no clear answers.

  “Who knows. The survivors could be in hiding. They may have decided to conserve resources and only use part of their land.” Benji joined us. “And the dead? It’s hard to tell.”

  “And where are the others who we know went over the wall?” Addison directed that question to me. She was specifically thinking of Denver.

  I knew who she was referring to, but I wouldn’t call her out on it. “Those are even more questions we need to get to the bottom of.”

  “So, we keep walking.” Addison nodded. “Eventually we’ll find something.”

  “We keep walking.” I echoed. It seemed like the right thing to say. Hopefully Thomas was right, and the answers to our problems would show themselves if we only continued moving forward.

  No one else said anything. We just continued on. After our second water break I saw something in the distance. It was just an outline—a box type shape- but it was something. “Do you think that’s real?” I asked no one in particular. First thing I needed to do is see if anyone else could see what I saw. I purposely hadn’t drank too much of the water, and I knew I might be getting close to dehydration.

  “Well, it’s something.” Thomas’s sight line matched mine. “Are you thinking it’s a building?”

  “I hope it is.” Benji crouched down, as if to view it from a different angle.

  “Me too.” Addison put her hands on her knees. “It’s hot out here. I’m not sure how much longer we can go on like this.”

  “Only one way to find out.” I was as tired as the rest of them, but I was determined to hold onto this shred of hope. It was the first glimmer we had.

  “Do we assume they are friend or foe?” Isin asked. “Or is assuming anything dangerous?”

  “What you’re asking is should we have our weapons out when we get there?” At least that’s what was running through my head. As to his second question, yes, assuming anything was always dangerous.

  “Yes. I mean we have to protect ourselves, but if we come in guns blazing we know we aren’t going to get a warm welcome.” He shrugged. “Right?”

  “I say we play it by ear.” I may not have been the official designated leader. That was Thomas. But that didn’t mean I would refrain from making suggestions. I wasn’t good at sitting back and letting others determine my fate. At least not anymore.

  Thomas nodded. “Yes. But we need to be prepared. If we can see that building, then anyone who might be in there would be able to see us.”

  “I’m not sure if I want there to be anyone there or not.” A red-haired man who’d yet to open his mouth prior to this spoke. “I’m too tired to fight.”

  “But I want all this work to be for something.” Addison’s eyes blazed.

  “It will be for something.” Thomas pulled out a canteen. “I don’t believe I ran into you two by accident.”

  “Meaning what?” Addison accepted the canteen from Thomas and took a sip.

  “Meaning fate.” Thomas took the canteen back.

  “You believe in fate?” I searched his weathered face.

  “My mother believed in it.” He took a sip of water.

  “I know.” I almost felt as if I knew their mother from the stories Kayla had told me. “I’m sure you miss her.”

  “I was young when she died, but yes. That was the first wound. Now I’ve experienced so many more.” He held out the canteen to me.

  I took a long swig and gave it back to him.

  “Loss never gets easier. You may be numb, but you can still feel the sting of the blade.” Benji adjusted the weapons on his belt.

  “That’s a good way to put it.”

  We continued. My confidence that the building was just that, a building and not my imagination, grew stronger the closer we got.

  “Still no sign of life,” Benji pointed out.

  “No, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t any.” If they were anything like us, they lived most of their life inside.

  “Do you think they might be there?” Addison asked.

  “Maybe.” Once again I didn’t use Denver’s name. It seemed cruel. Just because I liked to talk of Kayla didn’t mean Addison felt the same way about discussing the one she cared about.

  “Who are they?” Isin raised an eyebrow.

  “Friends of ours. They went over the wall before us.” Addison looked away as she spoke.

  “And they weren’t any of those others we saw I hope?” Isin asked.

  “No. None of those.” Not that we could really tell by what was left of them, but at least it wasn’t the last wave. Not Denver. “Plus, they wouldn’t have been wearing those uniforms.”

  “Unless they were undercover,” Benji added.

  “Just stop. Don’t.” Addison held her hands out to both sides.

  “Okay. Point taken.”

  We fell into silence. The kind of silence when you could hear the crunch that boots made in the sand. When if you listened close enough you could hear heartbeats.

  And then we saw him.

  “Is that…?” Isin pointed ahead.

  “Yes.” I looked at the young boy standing several feet away in the sand.

  “Let me handle this.” Addison gestured for us to stay back. “He won’t be as afraid of me.” She let out a slow breath. “I hope.” She took a few steps toward the boy. “Hi.”

  “Hi,” the boy replied.

  “Do you live near here?”

  The boy nodded. “Yes.”

  “We aren’t here to hurt you. We are looking for some friends and trying to find out who is here.” Addison kept her voice gentle and calm. She was handling this better than I’d have been able to.

  The boy nodded. “There are hardly any left.”

  “Hardly any what left?” Addison took another step forward.

  “Ones like you.”

  “Women?” She put a hand to her chest.

  He nodded. “Yes.”

  “Are you out here all alone?”

  He shook his head. “No. But I was the only one brave enough to come see you.”

  “Where are the others?”

  He turned around and spread out his arms. Little by little children spilled out of the building and ran toward us.

  Sixteen

  Kayla

  I didn’t like this one bit. Not at all. All I wanted to do was take the girls and run, but that wasn’t an option. There was nowhere to run to that wouldn’t result in us being cornered or worse, killed. I had a responsibility to my daughter and niece, and I intended to honor it even if it meant ignoring the nagging feeling in the back of my mind. Because sometimes walking into danger was the only choice.

 
I held Faith closer and stepped through the large doors inside the welcome house. The room was dark as the only illumination came from a few sconces on the walls. As a result, much of the room was left in deep, dark shadows.

  The door slammed behind us. I jumped, but I hoped it hadn’t been too obvious. I didn’t want to tip Darla off that I was nervous.

  Darla cleared her throat. “I will show you to the bath wing.”

  “The bath wing?” Bolton quirked a brow.

  “Yes.” Darla used a match to light a tall white candle. “You are all filthy.”

  “We aren’t filthy.” Quinn bristled.

  “You are.” Darla wrinkled her nose. “Horribly filthy.”

  “Fine. We are.” Quinn rounded her shoulders. “But that doesn’t mean we are going to take baths.”

  “Why not? Do you enjoy being dirty?” Darla moved the candle from one hand to the other.

  “You must understand how stressful this is for us. How much we have been through.” I tried to keep my voice calm even though I was feeling anything but.

  “And what does that have to do with hygiene?” Darla’s small eyes zeroed in on me.

  “It means we are hesitant and being careful.” Hopefully that was enough of an explanation without outright admitting we were suspicious.

  “I’d be more concerned of the diseases you may have been exposed to. Or the hypothermia you would have had if we hadn’t found you in time.”

  “We are worried about everything.” Maverick moved closer to Quinn. “Everything.”

  “You can worry about everything after you are properly bathed.” She turned and started down a hallway.

  “Do we follow?” Quinn whispered.

  “Yes, you follow,” Darla called over her shoulder. The woman had incredible hearing.

  Faith held onto me tightly. Was she fearful too? Did she know more than she was letting on? And how had she known about the water? Of course, it could have been a lucky guess, but it didn’t feel that way. It felt like she really knew. And we’d trusted her. That was just as significant. None of us had doubted her intuition.

  We followed Darla down the hallway and then turned down another one. These hallways were darker than the entryway as the sconces here were spaced much farther apart.

  Darla stopped short in front of a nondescript door. “This is the space for the women. I will show the men to their space next.”

  “We have to use separate bathing facilities?” Maverick put a hand on Quinn’s arm. “You cannot be serious.”

  “Of course, you do.” Darla frowned. “I don’t know where you were living before, but we have rules here.”

  “I am sure we can find a way to give each other privacy inside.” It was becoming harder and harder to keep my anger and annoyance in check.

  “Rules are rules. We believe in common decency here.” Darla wagged a finger at us.

  “And common decency would be to let us stay together. After everything we’d been through, we’d prefer not to separate.” Prefer wasn’t exactly the right word, but I was still determined to be polite.

  “Women and girls in this one.” Darla tapped the toe of her shoe on the worn tile floor. The grout was long gone, leaving holes between the tiles.

  “And how far away are the men’s facilities?” I asked.

  “Down that hallway.” Darla pointed into the dark. “Not far.”

  “Then maybe they can wait for us outside. Or we can wait for them first since they are bound to be faster.”

  “Both great suggestions.” Quinn nodded.

  “Ridiculous. At this hour of the night? Those children should be in bed.” She frowned again. This time it reached her forehead.

  “Yet you are making us shower first?”

  “They can’t go to bed filthy.” Darla sighed. “It is like talking to a wall with your lot.”

  “You are trying to separate us.” And the reason for that couldn’t be good. Everything about the situation was bad, but it was only going to get worse if we separated. “That’s not going to work.”

  “You have no choice. You are our guests here.”

  “So, treat us like guests. Shouldn’t it be our choice?” Bolton adjusted his pack.

  “Guests need to follow the rules of the place they are,” Darla continued on as if Bolton hadn’t said anything.

  I wasn’t sure what to do. I knew I didn’t want our group to separate, but I wasn’t sure what this Darla was capable of if she got really angry. I wasn’t worried about my safety, but we had Faith and Bailey to worry about. If they tried to separate us from the girls it would be a whole new calculation.

  “There is no reason we can’t wait outside.” Bolton tried a different approach. “Go ahead, we will be right here.” Bolton gestured to the door.

  “No, you won’t.” Darla shook her head. “You are wasting time.”

  “Why are you so keen on separating us?” I asked. “Or do you not know? Do your superiors tell you anything?”

  “I have no superiors.” She raised her chin.

  “Everyone has a superior.” Bolton murmured. “Even if you don’t realize it.”

  “Not here.”

  “Oh? There are no leaders here?” Quinn rolled her eyes. Even in the dark, it was possible to read her expressions.

  “No. None. The Glen is different. Completely different.”

  “As we keep hearing.” And I was getting tired of hearing it because the words meant nothing.

  “Have a little trust.” Darla took a step toward us.

  “Trust isn’t something we will have ever.” In our world, it was one of the most dangerous things to have.

  “It is your children that won’t get to sleep if you keep putting this off.”

  “And they are our concern.” Quinn put a hand to her chest. “Not yours.”

  “Why would we hurt you?” Darla rubbed her temple.

  “Why wouldn’t you?”

  That was the real question after all. I’d seen enough in my life to know it didn’t take much to push someone toward causing harm to another.

  “You and your children are precious.” Darla’s voice lilted.

  “Then why are you trying to separate our family?” I threw back.

  “Are you truly families?” She inclined her head to the side.

  “We are all one big family.” Quinn put her hand over mine. “We will not be separated.”

  “Fine.” Darla wrung her free hand. “By all means. Violate our rules. But know for all actions in life that defy the rules, there are consequences.”

  “And staying together as a family is the most important priority,” Bolton added.

  Maybe I shouldn’t have used the term family, but it had the result I’d intended. Thankfully everyone else went along with it. I only hoped I hadn’t unintentionally put ideas in Bolton’s head. Not that it mattered. Survival was far more important than any of our feelings. Still, I felt a nudge of unease and guilt.

  I faced the door and pushed it open, part of me prepared for it to be something other than a bathing chamber. Something sinister. For all we knew the Glen was part of Central, and I knew Central was capable of horrible things.

  I looked around. At least it looked like a bathing chamber at first glance. It was almost entirely white. White walls. White tile. White baths and sinks. White towels were piled on one counter. The only deviation from the white was the pile of grey clothing on the far side of the counter.

  “I have no interest in bathing.” Quinn closed the door behind her. “Not that I don’t want to be clean, but I don’t want to be that vulnerable here.”

  “I feel the same way.” I wasn’t going to pretend to be fearless. That would do more harm than good. “Trust me.”

  “Let me check things out.” Bolton walked over to one of the sinks and turned on the tap. Clear water ran out. “Well, I don’t think it’s poison. At least not of the ordinary variety.”

  “Poison?” Quinn gasped. “I hadn’t even thought of that.”
>
  “I had.” I’d thought of many horrible possibilities. Yet I was still there in the washroom. Life had become a series of choices. Each worse than the previous one.

  I eyed the tubs and then looked back at the others. “I say we use the sinks. No reason to chance anything that leaves us more vulnerable.”

  “And are we changing?” Quinn pointed to the pile of grey clothing.

  “Only what is too wet and dirty to salvage.” I don’t know why I was making the decisions. No one had actually put me in charge, but it came naturally enough. And someone had to make the decisions.

  We got to work cleaning. Starting with the girls. They were both exhausted. Faith was sound asleep nearly the entire time.

  Twenty minutes later we were ready to go. We stepped back out into the hallway. Darla was waiting there with a tall, bald man carrying a metal lantern. The outside of the lantern was etched with pictures of animals, so that as the light emulated out, it created images on the walls.

  Darla eyed us. “You haven’t fully changed.”

  “We changed what we needed to.” Was she really going to pull a fight about this? Couldn’t she make anything easy?

  “We do not want you bringing contaminants into the guest rooms.”

  “Contaminates?” Bolton bristled.

  “You were in dirty water.”

  “I think you are being a bit overly worried.” Quinn’s words may have been polite, but her tone was bordering on angry.

  “The Glen is a haven. We can’t allow germs to ruin that.” Darla blew out her candle, leaving us with just the eerie shadows and the few sconces further down the hall.

  “What about any potential germs that we are carrying in our bodies? Ever think of that?” Bolton angled himself so he was partially blocking Faith and me.

  “Why do you think you are quarantined to the guest house?” Darla snapped.

  “Then what do our clothes matter?” Did she realize she was talking in circles? It was getting later and later, and I was exhausted. I didn’t mind holding Faith, but when she slept she was like dead weight in my arms.

  “I see you have no respect for rules. That will have to change.” Darla straightened up.